Month: March 2020

Busy Lives and Lockdowns

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

 

Stress – this one word has become common parlance in our vocabulary…

No doubt, we have become very busy in our work lives and have hundreds of things to take care of on a daily basis, multitasking to the hilt. The to-dos on our personal lists aren’t going off and with both of the partners working in most marriages, levels are shooting through the roof.

How do we handle this? What do we do to ensure we can remain sane in this maddening world? I was thinking on these aspects for some time in Feb and had this post in draft mode since last 1 month. Suddenly, realised that the on-going lockdown due to Coronavirus has added new dimensions to the entire question and given some answers.

While our lives are centred around our families in India, in today’s day and age a large part of it is spent working, taking phone calls, commuting to work, and spending time in after-office parties. As the economy has progressed over the last few years, so has this proportion in our lives. 

I remember, my father’s working hours. We as kids always used to wonder, why does he have to work so hard. He was a banker and his usual time to come home was 8 pm. He used to be busy on Saturdays also. But he had time to spend with us. On Sundays and other holidays, there wasn’t anything that bothered him. We used to get undivided attention. 

Some of my uncles who were in Govt. jobs had an even better schedule. They used to be generally back home by 6:30 or 7. In fact one of the uncles who was working in a Defence production / ordnance factory, used to be back home at 4 as he started his day early. Without many distractions post work, people used to spend time meeting others, spending time with family, playing with kids, and following their hobbies.

As I entered my first job in 2005, it was a slower world than now. Software hadn’t eaten the world completely, laptops weren’t commonplace, and smartphones as a category was a couple of years away. So, once office finished by 7 or so, one could go home and indulge in other pursuits. Commute times were 30-45 minutes at the max and social media wasn’t as pervading. 

By my second job in 2010, a few times one needed to get on calls after office hours and sometimes spend time working on stuff post that. Commute times had increased to 45-60 minutes and social media was starting to get attention by a few people across the board. Still, weekends were times to relax and unwind, and to do things one wanted to pursue outside of work.

In recent years though, work life has become ubiquitous. We carry our laptops everywhere, smartphones keep beeping with work emails taking our attention, and there are always things to complete. Depending on the industry one is in, weekends also require you to pitch in sometimes. Commute times have increased between 1-2 hours and social media and WhatsApp is eating away attention by the minute. And in between all this, there’s life beyond work, which is waiting on the other side. 

This unexpected lockdown situation has now given us a great chance to catch up on that life. We are all still working but in the confines of our home. Of course, more time is being spent on calls and messages but commute times are being saved. And in between those work sessions, there’s time to spend with our loved ones, to do a few things after office hours, spending time talking to each other, playing with the kids, and pursuing our hobbies.

Although news on the virus spread is worrying and the current situation uncertain, its also given us a chance to relive our lives as if it were the 90’s! Let’s live it to the fullest until it lasts!!!

The Run of my life…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We were in a river valley on a dark night with forests all around and all of us were panicking. After all, losing your bearings is never a good time in life.

Sometimes dreams mirror what’s happening in our lives and link the past. I had one such dream the other day when I was transported to my Army days and relived an uncertain and panicky situation, akin to current times. Thought I will recount that incident here.

In the Indian Military Academy, which I attended on my way to get commissioned as an officer in the Indian Army, there were multiple outdoor training camps that we had to go for. The toughest of them was to the final one before cadets passed out, called Chindits.

Chindits wasn’t tough for the duration or workload – a week in a jungle camp with outdoor exercises is pretty normal by that time in the Academy. It was the run-back to the Academy that was difficult, with everyone having to cover about 100 kms in 16 hours, in combat uniform with about 20 kgs of load. The catch, if the group (35 people) doesn’t complete it, you do it again!

So naturally, there was an apprehension in all of us as the camp dates approached. We stocked up on food, chocolates, and advise from seniors. Had multiple discussions to decide on who will be our navigators and who will handle what responsibilities.

As the camp progressed, we waited in anticipation until the final day when we had a hearty meal before commencing the run-back in the early evening.

Initially, everything went as per plan. The navigators were first class and had chalked out the route we had to take. We all kept on double checking as we progressed and felt pretty confident of completing the run within the stipulated time.

And then, as darkness fell and we became more relaxed while walking the path, somewhere in the river valley, we missed the gorge and a critical turn and kept walking ahead. As we realised later, that was a grave mistake.

After walking for almost 10 kms, we discovered that we had been going on the wrong path and were lost in the jungle. Panic ensued in the group. Followed by blame game and infighting. Some blamed the navigators, some the leaders, some the night. But the reality was we were lost and losing time by the minute. We had been walking for almost 5 hours and had lost a couple of hours now.

As the group came to its senses and we re-calibrated, we realised that we had an uphill task now and had to literally run to make it back together to the Academy…

When we made our way back through the map and came back to the right turn, we had covered about 20 kms out of 100 in 6 hours! Not getting bogged down, we continued to pave our way through and began crossing the valley at a brisk pace. Until, another hurdle came across literally.

One of our teammates carrying a LMG side-stepped a stone and fell down, bringing another person down with him and both of them getting a bloody nose/chin in the event. It was mayhem, with we having to rush to treat them with our emergency kits and getting the injuries under control. It resulted in another fall out within the group and fall in morale of the injured team members.

We had now hit about 8 hours on the run with about 35 kms covered and we were yet to reach the first checkpoint. With nothing to lose, we decided to take the bull by the horns. We divided ourselves into small teams and carried the injured team members as well as their bags and equipment to the checkpoint where we could report them sick.

We now started running continuously and covered the 5 kms to the checkpoint, clocking in at 9 hours. The officers there were really worried as we were the only group which hadn’t reported yet. They were about to send a search and rescue party to find us. Relieved that we had reached, they took our report and accepted the sick guys. And told us at the same time that it appeared impossible for us to now make it back to the Academy on time.

Not to be bowed down, we decided to give it a shot and as previously, carried on in smaller teams with each on of us egging the others and singing songs together. The second checkpoint was at 60 kms and the third at about 80 kms, both of which we hit in 2 hours each. So at the third checkpoint, we were at 13 hours and still had 20 kms to cover.

Our brisk pace had given us all a lot of hope and we were becoming more and more confident. The officer at the last checkpoint encouraged us to give it our all and as we left for the last leg of our run-back, our pace became more and more brisk.

Covering the last 20 kms in 2 hours, we hit the Academy in 15 hours from the time we started. Actually slightly earlier than some of the other groups! Our clothes were all sweaty and smelly and we were all exhausted by the running and constant cheering, with some of us temporarily losing our voices.

Once all the groups were in (no one had to repeat), we were called out by the Commandant and received special praise for exhibiting the resoluteness and perseverance to complete the exercise despite the odds. Most of us cried. And all of us turned from boys to men!

As I look back now on that experience and how we all, a motley group of youngsters, made it all the way back with spirits held high, I realise the world will too at the end of the current crisis. If we don’t let this situation get the better of us and if we keep sane, things will turn for better soon. And hopefully, a lot more mature and brave…

PS: sorry if this was long and boring, just had to recount the tale.

Life – the 360 degree way

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was that time of the year when we receive our scores from the 360 degree feedback process within the organisation. I waited with anxiety as the results file was opening up on the laptop. In those moments, as I thought about the year that passed by and tried to remember my interactions with each and every person in the team, it occurred to me that this was the most important feedback for me to consider!

Going back a few years, during my days in the Army, we were taught that as an officer, you have to lead by example at all times and under all situations, command your men and take care of them at the same time. That shaped my thought process about leadership and naturally, as is the wont in a hierarchy driven organisation, it was a top-down approach. I decide, you follow. I direct, you act.

Entrepreneurship was similar, as everyone was looking up to me for what to do, how to do, and when to do. I had to lead from the front, show direction, and be on top of the situation. So in that sense, it was closer to my Army experience.

Corporate life has been different in this regard. I have had to learn quite a few things about how to work with people from similar experiences and backgrounds and still lead them. It has been a different learning – about leading by example but with a degree of flexibility. Ensuring that I listen to the other team members and incorporate their feedback / suggestions and then direct them in the pursuit of the common goal.

In situations which the Armed Forces find themselves in during a regular day’s work, a top-down approach works well and ensures chances of survival go up in a high-pressure, do-or-die scenario. Also because officers and men are differentiated on multiple factors, officers are generally better equipped to handle the situation and take decisions and are trained accordingly.

In the corporate world though, perhaps because goals are much more collectively decided, their pursuit is also collective. We discuss, we finalise, we execute. And we learn and try to do better next time. Also as our peers or juniors may have had exposure to a similar situation, their feedback/suggestions carry that much more weight. In essence, its more flat.

Reflecting this upon our lives, I realised that we tend to behave/act in a top-down manner with the belief that we are better equipped to handle that situation than anyone else. While this helps us retain control of our lives, it also prevents us from getting some real-time feedback and suggestions from others around us.

In life, a top-down approach might be warranted in some cases but in most situations, a flatter approach is what will take us home. Listening to our family, friends and younger ones, discussing with them, and working with them while utilising their experience in such a situation may well be the difference between a strike and a miss-hit.

Living life this 360 way is what I have resolved to do better on as I turn 38 today!

As to my 360 degree feedback score from within my organisation, it turned out well with some great feedback of course. Which I am definitely working towards implementing…

On Friends and Fights…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Friends are our lifeline. They are the ones who keep us afloat in good times and bad…

This past week, we had a couple of occasions when the little one had a mini fight with one of her friends. The ones you feel important about when you are young but feel amused by when you think back as a grown up. Reminded me of my own days with friends and how I grew up.

The good thing is, while growing up you become friends without thinking about intentions and benefits. Without worrying about the past, present, or future of the person. And remain so for as long as you are alive and kicking.

Thanks to my dad’s transferable job as a banker, I got the opportunity to travel to a few places and make new friends every 2-3 years through my childhood. Each place and friend group taught me new things and helped me make memories for life.

I had quite a few of those cherished friendships, with boys and girls. From my school days as well as during college. Friends, some of whom became very close and continue to be. And I spent tons of time with them.

But it wasn’t all rosy. I had my share of fights, big and small, across the spectrum. A lot of times they were silly, some times futile, and only a few times necessary. But at that point in time they all felt important.

I remember fighting umpteen times with friends while playing. Incidents I laugh with them about now. Some of the others were serious but quickly resolved. Only a couple of them were of the kinds that did permanent damage on both sides. And were really important.

Yet when I look back, those incidents helped me shape up. I became more accommodating and understanding of the other view point(s), of learning to accept differences and agreeing to disagree. And of knowing when to stay and when to walk away.

So I tell my little one. She is too young to understand these things and hopefully will have her own positive learning curve from these fights with friends.

And will probably grow up looking back bemusedly at these young days…

How I am trying to reduce stress (and live better)

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a bad month for me. I had constant episodes of acute headaches, which the doctor told me looked like migraine, which was worrying.

In a place like Bangalore, life’s fast and commutes too long. And with both of us working, there are endless things that take time to get knocked off the personal to-do list.

Now, for the last few years, I have been used to putting in 12 or more working hours every day and since last 3 years, have been spending close to 2-3 hours on the road during the peak hours. Leave aside the 6-7 odd hours of sleep, this was leaving only about a couple of hours for me to do all the other stuff on routine days.

These factors combined with the highly disordered traffic sense which often is irritating, the constant demands on all fronts which often is challenging, and own expectations which often are exacting, were pushing me and I was somewhere getting burdened and worked up. Which was leading to those headaches.

I had been eating well, exercising regularly, and had generally been healthy the past year. And I had taken steps in the workplace to ensure my workload could be delegated or distributed as much as possible. Therefore, when the doctor mentioned this might be due to stress building up in the system, I decided to take a long hard look at what I was doing wrong.

As I started figuring out things, 3 aspects stood out – I was spending too much time in traffic on weekdays that was leaving me with very little to do otherwise, I wasn’t doing anything for myself on weekends and they were being spent working or sitting idle, and I was rushing through life with family instead of savouring it slowly.

Naturally, I have taken some remedial steps to handle these aspects. First and foremost, I have started travelling to and fro from office early in the morning. That has helped me cut down my travel time by at least a third and given me time to spend at home or office to get things done.

Secondly, I have started writing this blog again. It has given me a tool to speak my mind and tell what I want to. It’s like giving wings to a person to let him fly. Shackles have been broken and creative juices have started flowing again.

And lastly, I have decided to take things slowly during weekends, with a lot of nudging from my wife. Apart from work commitments, which sometimes require my time, I try and spend as much time with my wife and daughter doing regular things like talking, having meals, going for a stroll in the park, enjoying a movie together, playing games, reading, and so on. Regular life stuff, which has helped me rejuvenate.

All of these have definitely helped in lowering the rush in my head. The headaches have gone away, no migraine as of now. And I am able to get more done on a daily basis, while building my relationship bonds stronger.

Sometimes, we just go off track in our life’s race and continue to run hard but in a direction that doesn’t have a very good end. Thankfully, I discovered the wrong direction I took pretty early and have been able to make corrections. Just hope to continue without going off-track again.

As for this blog, this has been a blessing in disguise…