The Support System

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The lights were zooming in. There was applause in the hall, as Viraj was called on the stage.

She got up and started walking towards the stage. Some people shook her hand, some shouted her name, and some just smiled. She responded positively to everyone.

As she reached the stares, she hesitated. Not because she was unsure of herself. But because she suddenly remembered those who had made it happen.

It wasn’t just her win. It was a collective effort. By her team which consisted of her husband, son, and mother-in-law. They had all played their part in her success.

She looked back, to where they were seated. There were big smiles on that table!

She climbed up. There was more applause. As she received the award for the best functional leader in her company, she could hear her son shouting for her.

In that instance, her mind went back a couple of years. She had taken a sabbatical from the company she had been working for seven years, to rethink about her future.

She had been a steady performer and had always been happy doing the job entrusted to her. With timely promotions and pay hikes, she couldn’t complain much.

Over the last few months though, she had been feeling unsettled. She wanted to do more but wasn’t sure if she was ready to take up those responsibilities. Battling with this uncertainty, she dragged her feat for a while.

Anshul, her husband, knew her well. He had always supported her and there was no need for her to feel that ways. But as sometimes happens with the best too, self doubt had creeped in. He just advised her to take some time off and think through on her path ahead.

Heeding Anshul’s advice, Viraj decided to go for a three-month sabbatical. This three months, she spent time with herself. She traveled a bit and unwinded.

As her mind relaxed, and she got more time to reflect on things, it became clear that she wanted to lead the function she was in. She had the experience and the understanding of doing so. And she saw herself doing more complex things naturally.

The only hitch – their young son was autistic, needing time and attention. She had been managing with Anshul’s help till now. But if she took up a bigger role, she would have to devote more time at work. How would they be able to manage themselves.

She didn’t have an answer. She pondered over it but still had nothing. As had been their practice, she discussed this with Anshul. He asked for some time to think and pondered over it.

In a few days, he came back with a solution. His mother, who was on her own now after his dad’s demise, could shift with them. She would be at home, to give the attention their son needed. And Anshul would himself take it slower at his workplace over the next year or so to settle things down.

She was apprehensive of the plan, because it would change the setup. But Anshul convinced her that they will make it work. He also had a chat with Kush, their son, and explained to him the situation. He was a very understanding kid, and instantly liked the idea of spending more time with his grandmother.

Settled in her mind, Viraj joined back the company and talked to her boss about what she had in mind. It was as if he was waiting for her to claim the role, and it was agreed to.

Bracing herself for the change, Viraj dived deep into the role and gave it her all. Over the course of the next year and more, she established herself as a natural leader. Her team couldn’t be happier, her peers respected her, and her bosses had confidence in her.

No doubt, when the annual awards happened, she won the best functional leader award!

Beaming with joy, as she climbed down the stage, and headed for her table, her family was waiting to hug her and congratulate her.

After all, it was the support system that made this all possible…

I have a dream!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Such is the connotation with this statement that it’s almost considered cliched.

And yet, the power and excitement it holds is still something I ponder about every time I hear it.

This week, as I took some time off work and roamed around in the western forests of South India, this line kept coming back to me.

At first, I went back in time to when I was a child. The statement had no relevance for me then, except for the fact that I did have a dream.

To get into the armed forces and to fly fighter jets. As I have mentioned earlier in these blogs, that was not to be. I did join the Indian Army but the dream was shattered and I had to leave early on due to a medical injury.

Thinking back about those days, the only thing I can remember is the fierceness with which I protected my dream. How I went out of my way to practice, train, excel in things that I had not done before. All to live that dream! What lessons I learnt then…

My mind then fast forwarded to my headspace post MBA. Convinced that I was meant to do something more with my life, I dreamed of becoming an entrepreneur.

I left the job I had gotten after college, choosing instead to grind myself in the intricacies of a sector and sphere I had no clue about. It was hard but fun.

Again, the one thing that had me going was my dream of becoming a successful businessman. Building something from the ground up, daring to go where my sane mind won’t have gone.

It didn’t turn out well in the end but living that dream life taught me much. Some of that learning has helped me a lot subsequently.

As these memories kept swirling, taking inspiration from them, my heart asked me a simple question – then why are we not chasing something big now?

My mind raced to answer it. But before it could do so, my heart reconciled – because there’s no dream that is big enough, yet, to give it my all.

Yet. That’s the key word my mind recognised. It heaved a sigh. For it is pursuing a large goal right now. And it knows that it will take all my energy to achieve the goal I am behind right now.

The heart was smiling though. Because it knows that dreams often come when they aren’t expected. But when they come and hold, the force often knocks down walls built over years…

‘Freedom to Fail’

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

These words contain a dichotomy. How can someone be given the room to fail?

And yet, they are magical. For in these words, lie the very essence of why someone succeeds…

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a new TV series on how India’s biggest watch company, Titan, came into existence.

It was a great reminder of the heroic power of entrepreneurship and the persistent belief to make it happen.

The biggest line that remained with me post the watch, was “freedom to fail”!

It was used by the protagonist to egg on his team after an abject failure. And by his mentor, silently, to convey his confidence in his protege.

In the past couple of weeks, as I often thought about it, I realised how important it is in our life too.

Ask a parent about how their child grew up. Most likely because they let her have the freedom to fail. When she was taking her first steps, or when she was rushing to make friends, or when she was trying to learn a new skill. They didn’t judge her or stop her from doing those things.

Ask a teacher about her best students. She allowed them to experiment and learn, rather than stopping them from anything. Even her worst students were allowed the freedom to fail, in the hope that they will rise some time.

Ask a husband about his wife. How they became successful in their marriage because they allowed each other the freedom to be themselves and fail at a few things when it came to each other’s expectations. And in doing so, how they learnt to stand by each other during the toughest times, even though they may have failed on a simple occasion.

Or ask anyone who succeeded in a corporate job, how they reached where they are. I doubt if we will find even one case where they would not have encountered a senior who had allowed them to falter and yet succeed in the longer run.

You see, it is this freedom to fail that gives anyone the confidence to succeed. That is why the child, the student, the spouse, or the teammate get past hurdles in life and learn to live.

And yet, the first thought that comes to mind when we hear these three words is, “oh, that’s strange!”.

It is perhaps our conditioning that needs to change…

The commercial angle

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We, mortal beings, seek simple pleasures in life. We want to enjoy life, be around our loved ones, and be happy.

And yet, often I have found that somehow our motives are commercial in nature.

We may start off naively but soon enough, the sound of money or the lure of the benefit gets us.

And then, we start basing our decisions and actions around those “important factors”.

It doesn’t sound sexy or in fashion, so maybe we don’t talk about it. But I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t been tempted at least once.

A few weeks back something similar happened with me. I was writing my blog on the Sunday when India’s national cricket league came to a close.

Cricket in India is above everything else, so there was bound to be a lot of chatter about the winners. Bangalore being the champions, was the cherry on the cake for those of us from the city.

As I finished watching the match and then my blog, before posting it, the thought ran in my mind – if I post it now, what is the likelihood of people reading it? Will it get drowned in the sea of messages across channels?

I hesitated for a bit. Should I wait till the morning? Or should I go ahead and publish as per my usual Sunday night schedule?

That opening was enough for more doubts to crop up. Who’s reading my posts? What time do I publish and how soon do they get it on their feed? Do I need to do some more amplification?

Sitting close to midnight, these thoughts were only delaying my sleep. But the left brain wanted to press on, asking logical questions.

It took me a while to realise that I was drifting away. The debate was endless and its merit to me wasn’t clear enough.

Not that I don’t care about who reads my posts or how do I reach them and others better. But that’s not the sole purpose of my writing.

I write for myself. I write because I want to. I write whether someone reads or not.

That clarity, as it emerged, grounded me again. I knew what I had to do.

Publish the post. Share on social channels. Share on various groups. Forward to subscribers.

Then, repeat it the next Sunday…

A retired life?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Anil was on the couch, fidgeting with his beard.

It was a dull day, in a rather dry June. The fan was humming above his head, with light coming into the room through the large window.

There was silence at home. His wife had gone out shopping and there was no one else. Anil was staring at the ceiling, pondering over his future.

Having turned sixty, he had just retired two months back. After spending more than three decades in different roles in the same organisation, he had finally called it a day.

He had initially thought that he would take it easy post his retirement. After all, he deserved to enjoy life.

The first couple of weeks were nice. No pressure of a routine, no stress of work or deadlines, and no worry. Then, as he entered the third week, he started feeling a little bored.

What should he do with all the time he had on hands now? Sitting around at home seemed like a waste beyond a point. How much television could he watch. Or how many conversations could he have with his wife, the only other person at home now?

He felt he had energy that he could utilise. So, he started playing tennis every day. Moving from a weekend routine to weekdays did help his game but it was enough to fill just a couple of hours. There was still so much time.

He then thought of meeting with friends and other people he had known. Some of them had time for him, while others didn’t. So, it meant only a couple of meetings every week.

By the time the second month finished, he was restless. He enjoyed a routine less life, but he also craved to do something with his skills.

There wasn’t a particular passion he had in mind to follow. Or a desire to do something alternative as an extension of his career.

He had planned poorly…

As he kept thinking that day, fidgeting with his beard, he realised that he wasn’t alone in this trap. There were many contemporary professionals he knew of who probably were facing the same challenge.

Was there a way to do something together? He gnawed at the possibility for a while, eventually realising that it was worth trying.

He got up from the couch. Sitting down at his study table, he mapped out a plan. Not a thorough one that he usually did in his work days, but a rough sketch of what he can do about it.

Over the next couple of days, he spent more time thinking and jotting down notes. Finally, he had an outline he was happy with.

It wasn’t a full time role. It wasn’t a gig. It was an experiment to see if he could apply all his learning to do something interesting, something he had not even thought about before.

He was retired, but that didn’t mean he had to live a boring life…

Of commitments and promises…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Our lives are full of these. We make many in a single week sometimes.

How many of them are for the long term or continue long enough to be considered golden?

This weekend, as my parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary, and we got together to spend time as a family, this question rang in my ears.

Forty five years is a long time. A lifetime for some. Kudos to them!

It isn’t easy to carry on for so long, unless there’s real commitment and promise on both sides…

Growing up, I was witness to that commitment and promise on a regular basis. Whether it was the small everyday things or the big decisions, it was visible.

Not that there weren’t arguments or disagreements. There were many. But at the end, the commitment to each other and the promise to be together saw them resolve those differences amicably.

When it felt like the commitment was being tested during tough times, their promise to stand by each other shone brighter. And when good times rolled by, the trust in each other was only strengthened.

Today, as we celebrated their anniversary, it wasn’t anything grand. A quiet family lunch, banter and anecdotes through the day, and conversations about random topics, interspersed with calls from others to wish them, rounded off our day.

But it felt so grateful that we could get together and spend time as a family, without having to worry much. To be able to take out time from our schedules and be with them in a wholesome manner!

As a child in the household, if you see such a strong example, you’re bound to be influenced. So was I. Valuing commitment and promises has held me in good stead, in my own personal life.

But as I reflected more on the topic, it came to my attention that this isn’t just true for personal but also the professional world.

We can only excel at something when there’s commitment from inside, and when we are promising ourselves that we will do our best. If any of these two don’t sync, either the process or the results fall short.

What we often forget though, is that any commitment needs to be nurtured, and promises need to be kept. It is when we do this long enough, is when we get the results we had hoped for.

Just as in relationships and personal life, so too in our work and professional spheres…

Balancing it all

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Maintaining a state of equilibrium. That’s how balance is defined.

It couldn’t be truer for own management of life and how it is so important to maintain the balance at all times.

As is so often the case, each one of us tries to find this balance and builds a template around our lives.

But sometimes our life changes, even though temporarily, such that the template doesn’t work in that duration. That is when we get tested the most!

Last few weeks, this is what I have been dealing with…

Over the past year or so, I had built a template to balance the various things go on around me. At work and at home.

Then, in the last month, as my role and responsibilities evolved, and some new challenges came to the fore, my previously set template came under pressure.

At first, I tried to not change anything and continue as is. I struggled. The template was built for a different rhythm, and wasn’t fitting in, although I was trying my best.

I didn’t want to change many things in the balance I had found and as I kept thinking about what to tweak, I let it slide for a couple of weeks.

Not changing anything yet, I was hoping the new rhythm will settle down and my template will continue to function as is. That obviously didn’t work.

By last week, I knew that my previous tactics were not working. I could either accept it and build a new rhythm, or drop a few things that were hanging in the balance.

I haven’t nailed down everything and how I want to change my routine to handle some of those aspects. I am still figuring it out.

But I am hopeful I will find how to balance it all. And have the right template to balance things in this new phase of life. Until something changes again…

The first time you’re alone…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It felt strange. Leaving behind my parents, to travel to some other place on my own.

It felt liberating. As if I had grown up by a couple of years suddenly.

It felt exhilarating. In anticipation of what I was going to encounter.

I remember the first time I went on a trip on my own, I was in high school by then. I went to Delhi, along with my cousins, to spend time there.

It was a great learning experience. Away from my parents, doing everything on my own, having fun but being responsible at the same time. I still cherish that trip.

But it wasn’t just the fun I had there. It also opened my eyes to the world around me, in a way earlier trips didn’t.

Not because I wasn’t surrounded by other responsible adults. My cousins were there. But without my parents, my senses were operating on a higher level.

I saw things that I had not seen before – how people behaved, how the world operated, how I was fitting in (or was not)!

As I thought about that trip randomly this weekend, I was quickly reminded that our daughter had her first trip without us when she was still in primary school.

A full week away from us, among her classmates, on a learning journey. It was an anxious few days for us. And for her as well, I guess.

But more than anything else, it was a great experience for her. She learnt so much in those few days. As a parent, I could observe the change I saw in her post that.

I have always been a believer that kids learn more when they step away from home, something I propose to everyone in the family.

So, I am happy that our daughter got her first experience when she was much younger. And yet, as a parent it wasn’t easy to see her go alone.

I guess there’s a first time as a parent too…

I will be there for you.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a very busy day. Preet had multiple meetings lined up with important clients.

He had been preparing for a couple of weeks for these, as they were tied to new business that could secure his promotion.

So, naturally he was in the zone and working through the finer details in the last minutes. And no interruption was acceptable.

He had put his phone on silent and hidden from view. So, when it rang a couple of times, he didn’t see it.

But then, just before the meeting he saw it was his wife calling him and he picked up. His young son was running a high fever and she had called him to inform that she was rushing to the hospital.

He talked to her quickly for two minutes, noticing the feebleness in her voice but whisking it away as exhaustion from the effort to take care of their son.

Over the next couple of hours, caught up in meetings, no thoughts crossed his mind about the situation at home. Only after he had taken a break for lunch, did he remember and call back.

His son was now in the hospital, under observation. His fever had not come down yet. Doctors had diagnosed it as brain fever. His wife was holding the fort but he could now sense that she needed help.

At first Preet thought he will postpone his meetings and rush to the hospital. But then, the thought of the impending promotion crossed his mind. And the meetings continued.

By the time everything ended and he got to the hospital, his son’s situation was deteriorating. He quickly realised that the doctors had not been able to get the situation under control and after discussing with them, he was shifted to the ICU.

For the next three days, Preet and his wife spent all their time at the hospital. Tensed and anxious. The fever had subsided but their son was still not out of danger.

Thankfully, their prayers were answered and over the next two weeks, their son recovered. He had got a new lease of life!

During this time, as Preet thought about the first day, he wished he could have acted differently.

He had promised his family that he would take care of them always, but when it actually came to it, he was missing in action…

The guilt led him to cry silently at first. And then in front of his wife when their son was wheeled out of the ICU.

It was not that the turn of events with his son could have been different if he was there. It was just his presence that was needed…

The promise meant something. It had to be lived!

Lost for Words

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am… A lot of times!

My bio on LinkedIn says I am an aspiring author.

My writing streak on this blog is running at 331 posts without a break.

I have written six short stories to go with these posts.

And yet, for the last couple of years, I have been stuck at writing my first book.

Not because I don’t have ideas. I have three.

Then why am I not able to progress? Why I am lost for words?

As I was thinking about this and trying to figure out what should I do to unblock myself, I realised I am in this situation because of time!

Or the excuse thereof…

Time to think and refine my ideas. Not today or tomorrow. One perfect day/week/year.

Time to write when I will have bandwidth in my life. While prioritising everything else.

Time to actually do this sincerely, to do complete justice to the process and the goal. And yet, not being sincere about the quest.

As I thought more about it, I figured I was giving myself excuses to not start writing. And instead procrastinating it because it’s easier to do so.

I haven’t gotten over the line yet. Am still waiting and thinking.

But it feels like a good lesson to share. There are a few things we should wait for, but there are others which we should just go after!

Perhaps, time for me to cross the line and just start. Writing.