Mindset

Just decide.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It is a simple enough statement or request. But often times, it isn’t. Or doesn’t seem so.

It does seem like good advice. Just get on with it. But when it’s your turn, often there’s hesitation!

And whether you are deciding or waiting for the decision, the lead up to it and the final act can be excruciating.

I am talking about rather important decisions, not the routine stuff. Although, what is routine for someone could be a rather important one for another…

Keeping these complexities aside, I want to talk about this critical skill.

How do we decide and how soon is often a personal trait. It changes over time but not drastically.

As a leader, I have often been in these situations. And also observed others from near and far.

When you are called upon to decide, faced with a question that doesn’t have a straightforward answer, how do you move forward? Do you go with your gut and decide quickly, or do you follow a very structured approach?

As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of two teachings I received through my experiences.

The first was during my army days. As was the case on most days and in most situations, we were being trained to decide quickly. Under pressure, the focus was always on being on top of things.

The instructor in our first term had a simple rule – feel what your intuition and gut says, decide quickly and move on. By staying on with the decision, you won’t gain much.

The second was when I was starting my own business and deciding on how to do a lot of things that I had not done ever! And there was no one to help me decide.

A mentor then told me, there are only two ways to swim – to learn through a structured process with a coach, or to just jump and then fight it out. And I had chosen the second path, so I had to decide how I could stay afloat, while learning to swim.

These two teachings have stayed with me through these years. And they have shaped me on how to decide.

Perhaps, someone else with different life experiences, will have a different approach to deciding.

What’s important though, I have figured, is to get to the point where you can put self doubts, questions, and the shadow of future judgements aside. And then just decide…

Pulling in which direction?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Often, I have wondered about where are things heading? And what am I doing?

Not just when I am confused about something. But also when I have been extremely clear.

I am sure many of us have felt this way. Because I get this sense often when I talk to others.

Many a times, we let it be. We flow in the direction we are being pushed at.

Sometimes, we resist. The struggle isn’t pretty. But we fight in the hope to change the direction.

But what if it is life’s way of pulling us in a certain direction?

The past few weeks, I have been grappling with a question…

I don’t have an answer. I don’t even know which direction is the push or pull happening from/to. What I only know is that there is something tugging at me.

So, I am unable to decide whether to flow along or resist. And this state hasn’t been easy.

I like having answers. I like to be in control of what’s happening. When it is not the case, I feel the need to try more, to think more.

The older me would have done so, restlessly trying to get an answer.

The new me isn’t losing sleep over it. I am letting it be. For, I realise that I just need to give it time.

I don’t need the answer today. It is ok if the answer comes a little later.

Because, whatever it will be, the push or pull will take me in a direction where I will only gain from. In some form or the other.

And when I will look at it in hindsight, hopefully, the pattern will make sense. Yet again.

Just like it does most times…

Optimism

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s an infectious feeling and attitude. It’s also a cliche used when you want to sound positive…

What is optimism? And why is it that so many of us vouch for it but very few practice it?

This week, two incidents prompted me to think deeply about this word and feeling.

The first was our CEO addressing a room full of business leaders, talking about how he wants everyone to believe we can do magic together and that high levels of optimism is bound to win the day for us.

It came out genuinely from him, allaying apprehension about new bets and cementing belief in those bets. It did energise the group. At that moment.

Having delivered a few similar pieces myself over the years, I also know that it will only remain with a few in that group. Very soon, others will revert to their previous state of mind.

But why does that happen?

The second instance was a meeting of a newly formed group within our community to take up and resolve issues with the developer. On both sides, there were people who had past experience of doing this and were skeptics. And there were people who genuinely wanted to understand the other perspective.

As we spoke to their team, I could sense hints of optimism in a few threads. The overall tone sounded more positive than it ever had, and it gave us some hope.

But having been in similar situations earlier in life, I also know that the optimism will remain only for a short period. And will be replaced very quickly with either renewed skepticism or resignation to the affairs, as they are!

How do we end up like this so soon?

Perhaps the answer to both these questions is that we expect too much too soon. Or expect that suddenly things will change. And when that doesn’t happen, we tend to then slide back into the zone we were in before.

Maybe, we also are creatures of habit. Some of us have seen things not panning out so many times that we approach everything with caution.

Unlike a child who is always optimistic. Because it knows too little. Or maybe because it knows that the secret to progress is optimism!!!

Health.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It is such an important part of our lives, being healthy! How much importance we give to it is another matter.

Over the past few weeks, a thought had been playing in my mind – why are so many young, seemingly healthy people, falling sick or passing away? A couple of incidents happened within my known circles, and they only added further anguish to these thoughts.

As I thought more about this subject, I naturally started to think about my own lifestyle and what am I doing right or wrong – at least as per my understanding.

Over the years, I have been generally taking care of myself, eating in moderation, exercising regularly, and switching off from work as much as I can. So, my self-rating on some of these aspects was quite ok. But then, there were a couple of things that I wasn’t doing very well on.

Sleep, for one. My sleep patterns had been disturbed for the past few months and while I had tried to make it better, there was still room for improvement.

Controlling my urges in between meals. Having been disciplined at it in the past, I had loosened my reins. Resulting in random snacking at times, all in the day.

Taking stress about things that can be avoided, and always being worried about something or the other going on in life. I have always wanted to do my best, and that naturally leads to high internal expectations, creating tension and stress at times.

Most importantly, I had not got a health checkup done for a couple of years. No excuses here, apart from general procrastination.

As I took stock of these shortfalls, I started to map out improvements needed. Over the last couple of weeks, I have made conscious efforts to sleep on time and not overstretch myself on weekends. I have also become disciplined again about what I am eating, to the degree I can. Avoiding stressing myself about small things, while making peace with how things are, rather than fighting them all the time.

And finally, after some nudging in the office as well, I went ahead and got an extensive checkup done. There are a couple of concerns those tests unearthed, which is a good thing.

Knowing is half the battle won, they say. I say, it is just an internal acknowledgment and unless paired with action, doesn’t mean anything. So, next in line is a plan to bring down those identified troublesome markers.

Having turned wiser from this experience, I reflected on what took me so long to recalibrate!

I think it was just the fallacy of everything is fine with myself, and it is only others who get affected by health concerns. Too much overconfidence, or ignorance.

Probably a reason why a lot of us are unhealthy and unaware about it, leading to an illness or a never-thought about turn of events…

Lost for Words

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am… A lot of times!

My bio on LinkedIn says I am an aspiring author.

My writing streak on this blog is running at 331 posts without a break.

I have written six short stories to go with these posts.

And yet, for the last couple of years, I have been stuck at writing my first book.

Not because I don’t have ideas. I have three.

Then why am I not able to progress? Why I am lost for words?

As I was thinking about this and trying to figure out what should I do to unblock myself, I realised I am in this situation because of time!

Or the excuse thereof…

Time to think and refine my ideas. Not today or tomorrow. One perfect day/week/year.

Time to write when I will have bandwidth in my life. While prioritising everything else.

Time to actually do this sincerely, to do complete justice to the process and the goal. And yet, not being sincere about the quest.

As I thought more about it, I figured I was giving myself excuses to not start writing. And instead procrastinating it because it’s easier to do so.

I haven’t gotten over the line yet. Am still waiting and thinking.

But it feels like a good lesson to share. There are a few things we should wait for, but there are others which we should just go after!

Perhaps, time for me to cross the line and just start. Writing.

The Fear Factor

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I was holding my breath, trying to not look down.

At one end of a zip line between two mountains in the lower Himalayas, I was unsure of a lot of things. Fear was taking root in me.

Just behind me, the instructor was pushing me to let it go and literally, go! To overcome my fear and take inspiration from the views I was about to enjoy.

At nineteen years of age, not many people would be in such a scenario. But I was, and so were my other Army batchmates at the mid term camp.

As I contemplated my options, the only way forward was to go. So, I let my body loose and zipped through. Fear turned into exhilaration and by the time I touched the other end, I knew that I could do this again.

This lesson has remained with me all my life. And a mantra to use when in doubt…

This week, as I was talking to a couple of colleagues and then a friend, this theme recurred. Of deciding to let go and conquering fear to get to the other end.

I think all of us live in some or the other fear. Very few are truly fearless.

And those fears often hold us back. They cloud our judgement, make us overcautious, and reduce our chances.

Often times, it is easier to say than do. But in this case, saying makes it tougher. In our minds.

But what if we were able to always draw inspiration from the view we would uncover through the journey to the other side? What if we just let go and find for ourselves what lies beyond?

Conquering the fear factor.

We will either uncover a view not seen before, or fall flat and rise up again, never to make that same mistake. And that in itself is a win!

Here’s to unshackling ourselves and moving forward…

Close Enough.

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Adil was waiting impatiently. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time now.

As his anticipation rose, he realised he was breathing heavily. He took a small pause, slowed down his breathing and calmed his nerves. After all, years of practice had made him aware of how to control his body’s rhythms.

The list of new players who had made it to the national team was being announced now. It was in alphabetical order so his name would have been second.

The selector announced the first, second, and third name. Adil thought his name must be lower down, ordered by his last name. After a while, that illusion too shattered.

He had not been selected. After being a star player for his state team, and earning praise from the national team captain and a couple of selectors, he still wasn’t good enough.

When you’re good but not enough to cross over, doubts flood your mind. What else can I do to make this happen? Am I doomed to ignominy? Am I not good enough?

Adil sat with these thoughts through the next few days. His coach, family, friends, and teammates all expressed solidarity with him. Yet, his pain was his alone to live with…

A couple of weeks passed. The thought kept ringing in his ears. He had taken time off from regular practice and had been sitting idle. His parents pushed him to restart once, but seeing his mood, thought it’s better to let him fight this.

Then, on a friday, as they were at the mosque for their afternoon prayers, Adil saw a senior player from the national team. He knew him well, so he waved to him and sought some time to speak with him.

The two decided to go for lunch and Adil beared his heart out in front of his senior. He was dejected and wanted to understand if there was anything else he could do to make his case stronger.

The senior, wiser from his years playing the game, just told him to bide his time and make the most of available opportunities. He asked Adil to practice hard and not let go now, as his name was already being mentioned among the national team members.

As they left, Adil thanked the senior and felt a burden lift from his mind. There was some validation and a certain relief knowing he was on the right track.

He decided that he will focus on his journey and enjoy it. Milestones will come when they will.

The road wouldn’t be easy. But whatever turns it may take, he was on it. He was getting closer to making it count…

Honour.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have often wondered how strongly do our deeds binds us to our words. Why would I do as I say? And what if I am not able to honour them?

This past week, on the work front, this aspect came into sharp focus for me personally.

Something I had promised didn’t go through. It was a setback. When I learnt of it, the first reaction was of disbelief and frustration. Why did it have to happen!

Then, as the aftermath of the situation dawned on me, I felt stifled. The next couple of hours, wading through anguish, I kept on thinking about how I had not been able to honour my words.

It was the worse I have felt in a few months. Not being able to do something about it immediately further added salt to the wound.

But as my mind calmed down and I started thinking about the entire episode, I realised that I had not honoured the basic premise on top of which I had made my promises.

I had been too confident that things will go as planned. That confidence didn’t allow me to look for alternatives even when the deadline was fast approaching.

I had depended on others promises, only to learn that they couldn’t be honoured, on the last day. And in doing so, I had not left any room to honour my words to others!

It has been a stark reminder. To not accept promises on face value. And to always have alternatives to ensure my words can be honoured.

But as they say about mistakes, “if it happens to teach you something, it’s worth it”, I am imbibing this as a lesson.

Shaken but not stirred…

Action, Camera, Lights…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Another year went by. A new one has started.

Many of us have plans for the next twelve months. Or at least we think we do.

But do we pause and think if the order of things makes sense? And is that enough for us to achieve what we aim for?

Or are we rushing through the process, forgetting what comes first – lights or action?

Some of these thoughts crossed my mind as I spent the last week introspecting how the last year went by and what I should aim for in this new year.

I did a lot last year. Both on the professional and the personal front. A few things tick marked. There were a few misses but overall it was a good year.

A lot of learning happened. But one of the things that stayed with me was the process adopted and the results achieved.

There were times when I took a shortcut, either to get frustrated later on or through results that weren’t satisfactory or sustainable.

And then, there were cases when I adopted the right approach, and got to satisfactory and sustainable outcomes.

This happened in both my personal and professional life.

And as I saw where I was led to in either case, it became clearer that if I intend to achieve long-term success, I must do the right things at the right time. Rolling the camera without the lights won’t make much sense.

So, as 2026 begins, my one single resolve is to stick to a plan and make it work in the right manner. If I do that enough no. of times and for long enough, I should see some success…

Lights. Camera. Action.

Disagreements…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Father and daughter disagreements are common in our home. There are quite a few petty things that we both don’t agree with each other on and argue about!

Like, how much time can one watch television. Or when is the right time to sleep. These are fun.

Then, there are the more serious ones. Like, how much should one eat. Or how much should be individual contributions to household chores.

And finally, there are the critical ones. Like, which colour combinations to wear or not. Or how much time can be spent outside home in play.

Which of these happen at what time of the day is a compeltely random phenomenon. It could be triggered by an event like getting back from school or getting back home after play. Or could be triggered while we are sitting together and spending time doing something…

Whenever we have one of these disagreements and an eventual argument, I think I am right but maybe my daughter has a point. My daughter thinks she is right but maybe there’s something I am stating that may be important. And both of us believe this completely.

During the peak of the argument, it seems like we may stick to our individual stance. However, most of the arguments end with one of us agreeing to the other’s point of view because we started with the belief that maybe the other person has a point of view that is right!

Sometimes those conclusions are reached amicably. Sometimes there is a struggle and after much pulls and pressures, one of us bows down. And then, there are a few times, when we agree to disagree and move on to deal with other stuff.

In either case, these disagreements rarely lead us to a place where we don’t talk to each other. Even when we agree to disagree, there’s reconciliation by way of hugs, kisses, or holding hands.

And while it doesn’t take us long to get into another disagreement, we rarely get into an argument about the same thing the same day. Unless, of course the trigger event recurs. Which is, quite possible!!

Eventually, these situations are making us tougher. To continue disagreeing with each other with respect for the other’s ideas. And with the tacit understanding that an argument is just that, an argument…