Month: September 2026

Just decide.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It is a simple enough statement or request. But often times, it isn’t. Or doesn’t seem so.

It does seem like good advice. Just get on with it. But when it’s your turn, often there’s hesitation!

And whether you are deciding or waiting for the decision, the lead up to it and the final act can be excruciating.

I am talking about rather important decisions, not the routine stuff. Although, what is routine for someone could be a rather important one for another…

Keeping these complexities aside, I want to talk about this critical skill.

How do we decide and how soon is often a personal trait. It changes over time but not drastically.

As a leader, I have often been in these situations. And also observed others from near and far.

When you are called upon to decide, faced with a question that doesn’t have a straightforward answer, how do you move forward? Do you go with your gut and decide quickly, or do you follow a very structured approach?

As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of two teachings I received through my experiences.

The first was during my army days. As was the case on most days and in most situations, we were being trained to decide quickly. Under pressure, the focus was always on being on top of things.

The instructor in our first term had a simple rule – feel what your intuition and gut says, decide quickly and move on. By staying on with the decision, you won’t gain much.

The second was when I was starting my own business and deciding on how to do a lot of things that I had not done ever! And there was no one to help me decide.

A mentor then told me, there are only two ways to swim – to learn through a structured process with a coach, or to just jump and then fight it out. And I had chosen the second path, so I had to decide how I could stay afloat, while learning to swim.

These two teachings have stayed with me through these years. And they have shaped me on how to decide.

Perhaps, someone else with different life experiences, will have a different approach to deciding.

What’s important though, I have figured, is to get to the point where you can put self doubts, questions, and the shadow of future judgements aside. And then just decide…

Generation Gap!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Something that we often refer to when we don’t know how to bridge the distance between us and someone younger or older…

This is how I define the term. And have often used it accordingly. Mostly when I am referring to the age difference being a decade or more.

A couple of weeks ago, I however, had a most illuminating conversation with my daughter.

She was relaying to me how different kids respond when asked about their device usage. Sample this response to the following question –

“Do you have a phone or any other personal device like a laptop or an iPad?”

Kid in sixth grade: No, I don’t have a phone; I have a laptop (or an iPad) for school work.

Kid in fourth grade: Obviously, I have a phone; and yes I have an iPad (or a laptop).

My daughter told me this quite animatedly, which made me laugh. She too laughed along, amused that a kid just two years younger had a very different answer.

Amusement aside, what she was pointing to me almost seems like a generational gap!

As I wondered about it later, and relayed it to a friend over dinner this weekend, it occurred to me that the entire concept of the term is due to change.

With the rapid pace we are seeing in some areas of development, such scenarios won’t be too far off.

It led to a question – what happens when people just two or three years apart start feeling a difference in how each of them conduct themselves?

While growing up, as well as later in life, we often rely on our elder siblings, or cousins, or school/college seniors for guidance, learning, and a myriad of other things.

If the gap starts to form so early in life and continues to expand, how are these learning pathways going to cope with them?

How will we feel, how will we share, how will we shape up?

Or are we all going to rely on some AI to keep us feeling that we are in the midst of people who understand us???

Pulling in which direction?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Often, I have wondered about where are things heading? And what am I doing?

Not just when I am confused about something. But also when I have been extremely clear.

I am sure many of us have felt this way. Because I get this sense often when I talk to others.

Many a times, we let it be. We flow in the direction we are being pushed at.

Sometimes, we resist. The struggle isn’t pretty. But we fight in the hope to change the direction.

But what if it is life’s way of pulling us in a certain direction?

The past few weeks, I have been grappling with a question…

I don’t have an answer. I don’t even know which direction is the push or pull happening from/to. What I only know is that there is something tugging at me.

So, I am unable to decide whether to flow along or resist. And this state hasn’t been easy.

I like having answers. I like to be in control of what’s happening. When it is not the case, I feel the need to try more, to think more.

The older me would have done so, restlessly trying to get an answer.

The new me isn’t losing sleep over it. I am letting it be. For, I realise that I just need to give it time.

I don’t need the answer today. It is ok if the answer comes a little later.

Because, whatever it will be, the push or pull will take me in a direction where I will only gain from. In some form or the other.

And when I will look at it in hindsight, hopefully, the pattern will make sense. Yet again.

Just like it does most times…

Silence

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Tuhin and Pallavi were both sitting together. Without speaking a word…

That comfortable silence had prevailed for a long time. Engrossed in their phones, they were spending idle time in the same room but disassociated!

It wasn’t as if either of them had made any attempt at a conversation. Over the past year or so, every single conversation in a similar situation had resulted in an argument. So, silence had replaced conversation.

At first, Pallavi started avoiding getting into any chats over the weekend. She would intently engage herself in something else than spend time together. As a couple of months progressed, Tuhin too adjusted to the new normal.

With their weekdays completely occupied with office schedules and travel, there was anyways very little time to be together. So, the new normal didn’t hurt either of them.

With only the two of them and no kids or pets, it had been over a year that the so-called Sunday afternoon was being spent together without any word being spoken…

What had happened to their relationship? How did they not have anything to talk about?

Pallavi had thought about it sometimes. Tuhin had too. Just not together.

The silence had become too comfortable to be broken. It was easier to stay quiet, do their own thing, and go back to their regular schedules. It was as good a shield as someone would need when disassociating themselves.

That day, as she was getting up, Pallavi had an urge to talk. To ask Tuhin about the week that had passed by. To talk about plans for the next month.

Tuhin was engrossed in his phone though. The urge passed by…

She didn’t notice that Tuhin was staring at a blank phone screen. He was contemplating if he should talk to her too. But his contemplation ended without noticing her urge.

The moment that could have rekindled the relationship wasn’t meant to be. Not today.

Neither of them was sure if that moment would ever come…