‘Freedom to Fail’

These words contain a dichotomy. How can someone be given the room to fail?

And yet, they are magical. For in these words, lie the very essence of why someone succeeds…

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a new TV series on how India’s biggest watch company, Titan, came into existence.

It was a great reminder of the heroic power of entrepreneurship and the persistent belief to make it happen.

The biggest line that remained with me post the watch, was “freedom to fail”!

It was used by the protagonist to egg on his team after an abject failure. And by his mentor, silently, to convey his confidence in his protege.

In the past couple of weeks, as I often thought about it, I realised how important it is in our life too.

Ask a parent about how their child grew up. Most likely because they let her have the freedom to fail. When she was taking her first steps, or when she was rushing to make friends, or when she was trying to learn a new skill. They didn’t judge her or stop her from doing those things.

Ask a teacher about her best students. She allowed them to experiment and learn, rather than stopping them from anything. Even her worst students were allowed the freedom to fail, in the hope that they will rise some time.

Ask a husband about his wife. How they became successful in their marriage because they allowed each other the freedom to be themselves and fail at a few things when it came to each other’s expectations. And in doing so, how they learnt to stand by each other during the toughest times, even though they may have failed on a simple occasion.

Or ask anyone who succeeded in a corporate job, how they reached where they are. I doubt if we will find even one case where they would not have encountered a senior who had allowed them to falter and yet succeed in the longer run.

You see, it is this freedom to fail that gives anyone the confidence to succeed. That is why the child, the student, the spouse, or the teammate get past hurdles in life and learn to live.

And yet, the first thought that comes to mind when we hear these three words is, “oh, that’s strange!”.

It is perhaps our conditioning that needs to change…

The commercial angle

We, mortal beings, seek simple pleasures in life. We want to enjoy life, be around our loved ones, and be happy.

And yet, often I have found that somehow our motives are commercial in nature.

We may start off naively but soon enough, the sound of money or the lure of the benefit gets us.

And then, we start basing our decisions and actions around those “important factors”.

It doesn’t sound sexy or in fashion, so maybe we don’t talk about it. But I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t been tempted at least once.

A few weeks back something similar happened with me. I was writing my blog on the Sunday when India’s national cricket league came to a close.

Cricket in India is above everything else, so there was bound to be a lot of chatter about the winners. Bangalore being the champions, was the cherry on the cake for those of us from the city.

As I finished watching the match and then my blog, before posting it, the thought ran in my mind – if I post it now, what is the likelihood of people reading it? Will it get drowned in the sea of messages across channels?

I hesitated for a bit. Should I wait till the morning? Or should I go ahead and publish as per my usual Sunday night schedule?

That opening was enough for more doubts to crop up. Who’s reading my posts? What time do I publish and how soon do they get it on their feed? Do I need to do some more amplification?

Sitting close to midnight, these thoughts were only delaying my sleep. But the left brain wanted to press on, asking logical questions.

It took me a while to realise that I was drifting away. The debate was endless and its merit to me wasn’t clear enough.

Not that I don’t care about who reads my posts or how do I reach them and others better. But that’s not the sole purpose of my writing.

I write for myself. I write because I want to. I write whether someone reads or not.

That clarity, as it emerged, grounded me again. I knew what I had to do.

Publish the post. Share on social channels. Share on various groups. Forward to subscribers.

Then, repeat it the next Sunday…

A retired life?

Anil was on the couch, fidgeting with his beard.

It was a dull day, in a rather dry June. The fan was humming above his head, with light coming into the room through the large window.

There was silence at home. His wife had gone out shopping and there was no one else. Anil was staring at the ceiling, pondering over his future.

Having turned sixty, he had just retired two months back. After spending more than three decades in different roles in the same organisation, he had finally called it a day.

He had initially thought that he would take it easy post his retirement. After all, he deserved to enjoy life.

The first couple of weeks were nice. No pressure of a routine, no stress of work or deadlines, and no worry. Then, as he entered the third week, he started feeling a little bored.

What should he do with all the time he had on hands now? Sitting around at home seemed like a waste beyond a point. How much television could he watch. Or how many conversations could he have with his wife, the only other person at home now?

He felt he had energy that he could utilise. So, he started playing tennis every day. Moving from a weekend routine to weekdays did help his game but it was enough to fill just a couple of hours. There was still so much time.

He then thought of meeting with friends and other people he had known. Some of them had time for him, while others didn’t. So, it meant only a couple of meetings every week.

By the time the second month finished, he was restless. He enjoyed a routine less life, but he also craved to do something with his skills.

There wasn’t a particular passion he had in mind to follow. Or a desire to do something alternative as an extension of his career.

He had planned poorly…

As he kept thinking that day, fidgeting with his beard, he realised that he wasn’t alone in this trap. There were many contemporary professionals he knew of who probably were facing the same challenge.

Was there a way to do something together? He gnawed at the possibility for a while, eventually realising that it was worth trying.

He got up from the couch. Sitting down at his study table, he mapped out a plan. Not a thorough one that he usually did in his work days, but a rough sketch of what he can do about it.

Over the next couple of days, he spent more time thinking and jotting down notes. Finally, he had an outline he was happy with.

It wasn’t a full time role. It wasn’t a gig. It was an experiment to see if he could apply all his learning to do something interesting, something he had not even thought about before.

He was retired, but that didn’t mean he had to live a boring life…

Of commitments and promises…

Our lives are full of these. We make many in a single week sometimes.

How many of them are for the long term or continue long enough to be considered golden?

This weekend, as my parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary, and we got together to spend time as a family, this question rang in my ears.

Forty five years is a long time. A lifetime for some. Kudos to them!

It isn’t easy to carry on for so long, unless there’s real commitment and promise on both sides…

Growing up, I was witness to that commitment and promise on a regular basis. Whether it was the small everyday things or the big decisions, it was visible.

Not that there weren’t arguments or disagreements. There were many. But at the end, the commitment to each other and the promise to be together saw them resolve those differences amicably.

When it felt like the commitment was being tested during tough times, their promise to stand by each other shone brighter. And when good times rolled by, the trust in each other was only strengthened.

Today, as we celebrated their anniversary, it wasn’t anything grand. A quiet family lunch, banter and anecdotes through the day, and conversations about random topics, interspersed with calls from others to wish them, rounded off our day.

But it felt so grateful that we could get together and spend time as a family, without having to worry much. To be able to take out time from our schedules and be with them in a wholesome manner!

As a child in the household, if you see such a strong example, you’re bound to be influenced. So was I. Valuing commitment and promises has held me in good stead, in my own personal life.

But as I reflected more on the topic, it came to my attention that this isn’t just true for personal but also the professional world.

We can only excel at something when there’s commitment from inside, and when we are promising ourselves that we will do our best. If any of these two don’t sync, either the process or the results fall short.

What we often forget though, is that any commitment needs to be nurtured, and promises need to be kept. It is when we do this long enough, is when we get the results we had hoped for.

Just as in relationships and personal life, so too in our work and professional spheres…