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Balancing it all

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Maintaining a state of equilibrium. That’s how balance is defined.

It couldn’t be truer for own management of life and how it is so important to maintain the balance at all times.

As is so often the case, each one of us tries to find this balance and builds a template around our lives.

But sometimes our life changes, even though temporarily, such that the template doesn’t work in that duration. That is when we get tested the most!

Last few weeks, this is what I have been dealing with…

Over the past year or so, I had built a template to balance the various things go on around me. At work and at home.

Then, in the last month, as my role and responsibilities evolved, and some new challenges came to the fore, my previously set template came under pressure.

At first, I tried to not change anything and continue as is. I struggled. The template was built for a different rhythm, and wasn’t fitting in, although I was trying my best.

I didn’t want to change many things in the balance I had found and as I kept thinking about what to tweak, I let it slide for a couple of weeks.

Not changing anything yet, I was hoping the new rhythm will settle down and my template will continue to function as is. That obviously didn’t work.

By last week, I knew that my previous tactics were not working. I could either accept it and build a new rhythm, or drop a few things that were hanging in the balance.

I haven’t nailed down everything and how I want to change my routine to handle some of those aspects. I am still figuring it out.

But I am hopeful I will find how to balance it all. And have the right template to balance things in this new phase of life. Until something changes again…

The first time you’re alone…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It felt strange. Leaving behind my parents, to travel to some other place on my own.

It felt liberating. As if I had grown up by a couple of years suddenly.

It felt exhilarating. In anticipation of what I was going to encounter.

I remember the first time I went on a trip on my own, I was in high school by then. I went to Delhi, along with my cousins, to spend time there.

It was a great learning experience. Away from my parents, doing everything on my own, having fun but being responsible at the same time. I still cherish that trip.

But it wasn’t just the fun I had there. It also opened my eyes to the world around me, in a way earlier trips didn’t.

Not because I wasn’t surrounded by other responsible adults. My cousins were there. But without my parents, my senses were operating on a higher level.

I saw things that I had not seen before – how people behaved, how the world operated, how I was fitting in (or was not)!

As I thought about that trip randomly this weekend, I was quickly reminded that our daughter had her first trip without us when she was still in primary school.

A full week away from us, among her classmates, on a learning journey. It was an anxious few days for us. And for her as well, I guess.

But more than anything else, it was a great experience for her. She learnt so much in those few days. As a parent, I could observe the change I saw in her post that.

I have always been a believer that kids learn more when they step away from home, something I propose to everyone in the family.

So, I am happy that our daughter got her first experience when she was much younger. And yet, as a parent it wasn’t easy to see her go alone.

I guess there’s a first time as a parent too…

I will be there for you.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a very busy day. Preet had multiple meetings lined up with important clients.

He had been preparing for a couple of weeks for these, as they were tied to new business that could secure his promotion.

So, naturally he was in the zone and working through the finer details in the last minutes. And no interruption was acceptable.

He had put his phone on silent and hidden from view. So, when it rang a couple of times, he didn’t see it.

But then, just before the meeting he saw it was his wife calling him and he picked up. His young son was running a high fever and she had called him to inform that she was rushing to the hospital.

He talked to her quickly for two minutes, noticing the feebleness in her voice but whisking it away as exhaustion from the effort to take care of their son.

Over the next couple of hours, caught up in meetings, no thoughts crossed his mind about the situation at home. Only after he had taken a break for lunch, did he remember and call back.

His son was now in the hospital, under observation. His fever had not come down yet. Doctors had diagnosed it as brain fever. His wife was holding the fort but he could now sense that she needed help.

At first Preet thought he will postpone his meetings and rush to the hospital. But then, the thought of the impending promotion crossed his mind. And the meetings continued.

By the time everything ended and he got to the hospital, his son’s situation was deteriorating. He quickly realised that the doctors had not been able to get the situation under control and after discussing with them, he was shifted to the ICU.

For the next three days, Preet and his wife spent all their time at the hospital. Tensed and anxious. The fever had subsided but their son was still not out of danger.

Thankfully, their prayers were answered and over the next two weeks, their son recovered. He had got a new lease of life!

During this time, as Preet thought about the first day, he wished he could have acted differently.

He had promised his family that he would take care of them always, but when it actually came to it, he was missing in action…

The guilt led him to cry silently at first. And then in front of his wife when their son was wheeled out of the ICU.

It was not that the turn of events with his son could have been different if he was there. It was just his presence that was needed…

The promise meant something. It had to be lived!

Lost for Words

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am… A lot of times!

My bio on LinkedIn says I am an aspiring author.

My writing streak on this blog is running at 331 posts without a break.

I have written six short stories to go with these posts.

And yet, for the last couple of years, I have been stuck at writing my first book.

Not because I don’t have ideas. I have three.

Then why am I not able to progress? Why I am lost for words?

As I was thinking about this and trying to figure out what should I do to unblock myself, I realised I am in this situation because of time!

Or the excuse thereof…

Time to think and refine my ideas. Not today or tomorrow. One perfect day/week/year.

Time to write when I will have bandwidth in my life. While prioritising everything else.

Time to actually do this sincerely, to do complete justice to the process and the goal. And yet, not being sincere about the quest.

As I thought more about it, I figured I was giving myself excuses to not start writing. And instead procrastinating it because it’s easier to do so.

I haven’t gotten over the line yet. Am still waiting and thinking.

But it feels like a good lesson to share. There are a few things we should wait for, but there are others which we should just go after!

Perhaps, time for me to cross the line and just start. Writing.

Why too serious?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are too many things in life that we take too seriously.

And in that quest of taking ourselves too seriously, we often forget to enjoy life…

The past week, a colleague who was also a friend, passed away. He had been battling cancer for a long time.

As I received the news and saddened by it thought about my last meeting with him, I couldn’t help but reflect on his journey.

Especially the past few years, and his approach towards life!

In the most testing times, he was still full of life. It was as if he had made a resolution to let nothing affect his zest for life.

When someone battling with life on a daily basis shows that commitment, you stop and take notice. You wonder at the bravery. You smile at the tenacity.

So did I. But I never looked deeply enough to understand how commendable it was.

For I, lost in my own thoughts and problems, was too seriously involved in my life.

It was only in his passing, did he leave me a lasting lesson. To not be too serious. And to enjoy life come what may!

As I thought about this aspect through the last week, it became clear to me that I can afford to loosen up.

To enjoy life even when things are not going my way. To enjoy life even if I am not feeling well. And to enjoy life even if there isn’t much left of it.

For in that enjoyment is the essence of life. To live it. To experience it. And to see it through…

All Heart!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I think from my heart. That’s when I do best. It’s my strength.

I have claimed this before in word and letter. And felt it for sure.

Yet, as it often happens with us mortal beings, we forget our strengths. And deviate from the usual path.

That’s what I realised over the past few days. Twice!

On both those occasions, I had the chance to think from my heart. The situations demanded that I do so.

Still, somehow my mind weighed heavier on my heart in those moments. And I chose ‘rationally’!

My mind was probably too determined, because even after the choice, it didn’t let go of its chokehold on the reason for the decision.

So, I continued to operate without a question. My heart tugged at me a few times in between, but my mind brushed it off.

Eventually, my heart gave up and my mind won!

That clarity lasted only for a few days though. Through an interjection, which was like a jolt, I was snapped out of my state.

As soon as the fog lifted and the heart realised it had been tricked, I fell. I fell so hard that my heart wept. My eyes wallowed. And tears streaked down.

It was only then that I realised I had made an error in my choice in those moments. And how I had failed even after so much training and self awareness.

I realised how I had brushed off my heart’s pleas to reconsider. And how I had justified my choice to myself reluctantly.

But it was too late…

The choice had been made and the decision had kept me out of loop on the things that mattered more to me than what I left them for.

As I sat down on the second occasion, wiping my tears, it became clear to me that I need to retrain myself.

To believe in my strength. To acknowledge any nudge or thought that is asking me to reconsider my choices.

And to be all heart again…

Honour.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have often wondered how strongly do our deeds binds us to our words. Why would I do as I say? And what if I am not able to honour them?

This past week, on the work front, this aspect came into sharp focus for me personally.

Something I had promised didn’t go through. It was a setback. When I learnt of it, the first reaction was of disbelief and frustration. Why did it have to happen!

Then, as the aftermath of the situation dawned on me, I felt stifled. The next couple of hours, wading through anguish, I kept on thinking about how I had not been able to honour my words.

It was the worse I have felt in a few months. Not being able to do something about it immediately further added salt to the wound.

But as my mind calmed down and I started thinking about the entire episode, I realised that I had not honoured the basic premise on top of which I had made my promises.

I had been too confident that things will go as planned. That confidence didn’t allow me to look for alternatives even when the deadline was fast approaching.

I had depended on others promises, only to learn that they couldn’t be honoured, on the last day. And in doing so, I had not left any room to honour my words to others!

It has been a stark reminder. To not accept promises on face value. And to always have alternatives to ensure my words can be honoured.

But as they say about mistakes, “if it happens to teach you something, it’s worth it”, I am imbibing this as a lesson.

Shaken but not stirred…

A welcome surprise!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The year began for me on a good personal note. And the first fifteen days have been great!

With wifey away at her hometown, I spent quite a lot of time with my daughter alone. Well, she had school and the usual routines. But still, we spent more time together than we would have done normally.

It was amazing to notice how she is developing at closer quarters. Having multiple conversations gave me a better sense of her thinking and connecting with it.

It was also weird! Because daughters think very differently than sons. Having been one, I could identify some of those differences and those made me think.

For example, they have deeper observational skills. One day, looking at how I was more relaxed after the break, she commented how I was happier than usual.

They also have a keen sense of understanding how doing something right will get them what they wish for. On one of the days, knowing I was going to agree to her request if she returned home on time after playing, she came back promptly on her own and got something in return!

But the best one is how they take care of you and your feelings. On another day, she ensured that she took care of me when I wasn’t feeling too well. That felt special, knowing she was doing the most she could.

I am sure I didn’t have so much maturity when I was ten. I was lost in my own world, trying to make the most of my play time with friends.

In fact, I see this happen even as we grow older. With my wife, cousins, friends.

Daughters are closer to their family and loved ones. They tend to be more concerned and keep in touch more often, irrespective of how busy they are. We sons, give more attention to worldly matters and don’t do as much.

Or how, daughters think about every little detail, irrespective of their age. And for everyone. Whereas sons are mostly concerned about things that are visible and sometimes overlook the subtleties.

Whatever may be the reasons, I think it balances things beautifully. Different perspectives and thought processes allow for different strengths and thus different contributions.

Back to my story, as we came to the end of the ten day period we were without the boss at home, the one single takeaway was that this was fun!

And was a welcome surprise for both of us that we would love to repeat…

Action, Camera, Lights…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Another year went by. A new one has started.

Many of us have plans for the next twelve months. Or at least we think we do.

But do we pause and think if the order of things makes sense? And is that enough for us to achieve what we aim for?

Or are we rushing through the process, forgetting what comes first – lights or action?

Some of these thoughts crossed my mind as I spent the last week introspecting how the last year went by and what I should aim for in this new year.

I did a lot last year. Both on the professional and the personal front. A few things tick marked. There were a few misses but overall it was a good year.

A lot of learning happened. But one of the things that stayed with me was the process adopted and the results achieved.

There were times when I took a shortcut, either to get frustrated later on or through results that weren’t satisfactory or sustainable.

And then, there were cases when I adopted the right approach, and got to satisfactory and sustainable outcomes.

This happened in both my personal and professional life.

And as I saw where I was led to in either case, it became clearer that if I intend to achieve long-term success, I must do the right things at the right time. Rolling the camera without the lights won’t make much sense.

So, as 2026 begins, my one single resolve is to stick to a plan and make it work in the right manner. If I do that enough no. of times and for long enough, I should see some success…

Lights. Camera. Action.

Reliving a lived experience.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are moments in life which we relish and often remember. In the hope that we could relive them again or at least feel the same way again.

And then there are experiences which shape us. They may not necessarily be in the earlier category but are important to us as an individual.

This last week, I had an opportunity to relive a lived experience, one that fundamentally shaped me.

It was a visit to the Indian Military Academy, which I graduated from more than two decades ago. Those were the most formative years in my life, joining the Academy as an eighteen year old.

Thanks to a course mate, who was able to get a tour arranged, I visited the institution along with my family. As the assigned staff member took us around, I recounted some of my experiences to my wife and our daughter.

It was poignant to walk the same corridors once again. Now as a civilian, but with the same proud feeling of being able to walk there.

It was nostalgic to visit the rooms and stand in the same place I spent countless days in. And feel a little bit of what I went through in those days.

It was reliving memories filled with bitter sweet moments as I saw other parts of the academy. The playgrounds, the practice areas, the places I used to go past every day.

It was a reminder of how much things have evolved. The staff member was kind enough to detail how many things had changed from those days to now, and we compared them with what we used to do. They ought to be, in two decades.

It was fun to recall some of my experiences and share them with my family, as we zipped past some of the best and worst memories of the days lived there.

Finally, as we completed the tour and bid farewell to the staff member, driving out on the main road, I felt a tinge of sadness within myself. For the entire tour had ended in a couple of hours and my journey of reliving the lived experiences had ended.

I was overwhelmed thinking about how much time had passed since those days. At the same time, I was thankful that I got this opportunity.

Enough for me to carry fresh impressions of my days spent in that place so many years ago…