Month: July 2020

The Next Time…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

It was a result I didn’t expect. After months of hard work, long nights, and countless hours of prep tests, this was surely not what I expected of myself.

This was the day when the Common Admission Test or CAT, as it is known in the Indian parlance, came out. I hadn’t scored in the 99th percentile I was wanting to. And in one of the most competitive exams in the country, that 2 percentile gap meant a sea of difference and practically killed my attempt to get into the best MBA colleges of the country.

I was dejected. I certainly didn’t deserve such a low score! I blamed my circumstances, my luck, and everything else. However, thankfully after a couple of days in that mode, I composed myself and carried on with my life, taking the failure in my stride.

The next few years in my life went by with lots of interesting things. I met my wife and fell in love with her. Gathered a lot of experience working in the corporate world. Made some very good friends and learnt tons of new stuff.

I did do my MBA from a good college afterwards. And have had some very interesting experiences post that, enjoyed my life and have done well in general.

This weekend, as we were spending time with our cousins and celebrating my daughter’s birthday, one of our discussions veered around the pulls and pushes that youngsters, specially those who are in the defining years of their life – 12th standard, final year of college, etc. are facing or going to go through due to the Covid-19 disruption to regular studies.

The main focal point of our discussion was – with the competitiveness only increasing every year, there are going to be countless students who wouldn’t be able to perform at the same levels as they expect to. And how they reconcile themselves to the unexpected results and carry on with life is going to be critical to their future.

Our discussion went on to other general things. But as I reflected on this track, I realised that it is going to be true for quite a good number of students – those who can’t concentrate because classes didn’t happen, or they weren’t taught well online, or worse still, couldn’t get access to the right education.

And I recollected from my experiences that life is not just about that one exam. One might fail or not perform once. But what determines character and a winner is someone who doesn’t get bogged down by the circumstances or the limitations and continues to plough along. Perhaps on the same track, perhaps on another.

Life gives all of us multiple chances. It is important that we don’t feel left out ever and continue our journey, the destination is waiting for us. If not this time, then the next time. Or the next time. Or the next time…

Time travails!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Over the last 1 week, I have seen 2 movies where the concept of loneliness gets mentioned prominently. Ruminating about the present situation, in both the cases, there is a satirical solution to solve for the problem most people in these modern times face…

Sitting idle on a rainy Sunday, eschewing the choice of watching another movie or reading another book, I decided to delve deeper into this abyss.

Being a working couple, with multiple calls and meetings jam-packed into our schedules, we have been finding it tough to get time for ourselves, apart from the household chores that never seem to end. That leaves us with very little time to talk to each other on most weekdays or have fun as a family.

It wasn’t so earlier. I remember, in the previous decade, while work was hectic, there was a physical cut-off time that most people followed and respected. And while there were those odd days or weeks, where you had to put in extra hours, without the always connected, ubiquitous gadgets, our lives were much simpler.

Evenings after office work used to be spent in chit-chatting about sundry things. Or in watching some television. And talking to other family members and friends.

During childhood, it was even better. I recall that when my father used to return from his work, we all used to sit down and have a hearty conversation. And so it went on, until dinner time and sometimes, even post that. That was the daily succour with very little options on television – the only thing being the evening news that was part of the daily routine.

As we have got more options to remain connected and have more gadgets at our disposal, somehow we have been robbed of our time. When we are not working, we feel the urgent need to connect with the world through the technology in our hands. That behaviour has percolated down to children and today it is not uncommon to see teenagers glued to their screens with scant awareness about what’s happening around them.

And then there is the entire focus on ‘Me Time’. About doing something which dissociates us from the daily tribulations of our work. While earlier, most people had constructive hobbies to pursue during such time, these days it is spent mostly on streaming platforms, or browsing through social media, news, shopping websites, WhatsApp chat groups, and what not.

Most of us have fallen in this trap of always being connected, with a false sense of interacting with the world and being informed, instead of spending time with those that matter the most in our lives. And that is what I feel is leading to this feeling of loneliness and hollowness.

While we cannot do away with the demands of work in an inter-connected, hyper-sensitive and globalised environment, it is upon us to draw out our boundaries to ensure that we maintain a balance between work and life. And that spare time can be utilised for not just browsing the phone but also talking about anything and everything under the sun to the people who matter in our lives. In person or on a phone call (not virtually!). And to teach the same to the next generation!

Having consciously tried to minimise after-work and weekend screen time over the past few weeks, my wife and I have been able to find those small passages of time, where we reconnect and talk to each other. And that has helped us refresh ourselves mentally, winding down in the evening or on weekends. It has also helped us reduce the screen time for our daughter, who otherwise used to be gunning for another go at some cartoon show.

While I cannot claim to have found the elixir to this lifestyle crisis, the progress in our personal case gives me hope that we have it in us to undo the side effects of technology use and get real again!

Common Culture & Depictions

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I was startled by a dream I had the other day about I not being able to innovate and getting stuck in work due to being too focused on discipline and order. As the fog subsided in the morning and I kept brooding on this subject through the week, quite a few perspectives emerged…

As a person who has seen most ends of this spectrum, being in the Army, as an entrepreneur, and in the corporate world, I thought through the question from these different angles and their intersection.

Naturally, someone whose initial years were shaped by the Army, I am a stickler for discipline and order. I prefer being in control and like to minimise uncertainty. So my first thought was that creativity and innovation didn’t gel well with us types. But as I delved deeper, I realised that the stereotype isn’t true – our training taught us to innovate and improvise all the way. It prepared us to be creative in our thought process so that we don’t get boxed in and get killed. And there are enough examples of creative and innovative leadership across the board.

I next turned my attention to the start-up and entrepreneur crowd. People who are expected to be creative and innovative most of their time. Places filled with those who hustle and do everything to make things happen. Where the focus is more on innovation and creativity and chaos reigns. But as I thought through my own experience as well as looked at other successful instances, I figured there’s method to successful madness. Ideas that are gaining traction and startups that are winning have done so on the back of being disciplined about execution and orderly about scaling up.

So lastly, I looked at the corporate world and whether there’s truth about the saying that corporate offices are the least innovative and creative places. While that may certainly be true for some, the ones who are able to grow and where people enjoy working are not just focused on discipline and order about the existing revenue streams but also nurture creativity and innovation to progress on new tracks. And this blend is what allows them to win the marketplace again and again.

I was surprised at the analysis. Some of the thoughts I had heard or read about on these topics weren’t entirely true. And certainly cannot be classified as general statements. But then, the internet and media is full of these stereotypes. Our literature, films, etc. regularly portray them likewise.

As someone who has been in these roles, it was easier for me to connect the dots and look through the prism. But for other topics where I am a newbie or on which I don’t have any insight, I may be led by the depiction in common culture.

Common culture may be commonly available and commonly consumed but may not be always right…

Change is the only constant

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

As I heard one of the characters in a TV series talk about how change is messy and difficult and not something worthwhile, I recalled this title phrase. And the truism associated with it.

I have always been a firm believer of how change is for the good. It has helped shape my life and provided me tremendous opportunities to learn and grow.

Well, change has been the order of life for me all throughout. I studied in 6 different schools, moving places every 2-3 years. I have pursued 4 different professional tracks in my career. And yet every time there’s some change – big or small, I feel uncertain and out of control.

However, having experienced so many changes in life, I have learnt a trick to handle these situations. Instead of further sinking down into anxiety, I let go. It is not easy – difficult to dissociate and let things flow. But what I have realised is that it’s better to flow than to resist.

As I look around these days, on one side I see people embracing change and adapting to the circumstances but on the other hand, I observe a sense of inertia. As someone who studies people and behaviours, I have realised these responses are all about those 2 words “Letting go”.

People who aren’t embracing change aren’t comfortable letting go. They feel like they have to own and drive things, not let it drift or be driven by something or someone.

This is true not just in the professional world but the personal one also.

The mother who doesn’t let go of the child to play alone, fearing a fall or a scratched hand. The parents who still want to manage or help their grown up kids in everything they do. All of these “not letting go” examples only point to the inertia that the mother or parents feel about the impending change or growth.

In the professional world examples abound. We all have seen or worked with the manager who wants to micromanage. Or the senior who wants to take Center-stage all the time. Or the old guard which refuses to adapt to new ways of working. It’s again a matter of “not letting go” – the anxiety of what will happen if I don’t do it my way.

What we don’t realise is that by not letting go, we create further resistance, which sooner or later leads to breaches. Be it the kid who finds ways and means to slip out of the parent’s radar to do her own thing. Or the junior who gives up and leaves the job for better opportunities where she can grow. The breach happens as the resistance becomes untenable.

As we navigate through this Covid-19 era, where trust is dipping down and anxiety is increasing, it would serve us well to realise that this too shall pass. That this change will allow old ways to be replaced with new ones. And rather than fighting it, remembering that after all is done and dusted, the changes will be for the greater good.

Let it go…

Music and Life

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have had affinity for music right from my early years.

As I grew up, there was always some deal of music around. My uncle used to be part of a local band and practised quite often at home. One of my cousins was an excellent singer and later on, made quite a name for herself in Kenya. There was also my Mom’s uncle, who revelled in singing and whenever we went to my maternal grandparents house, used to regale us with his voice.

And then there was of course the music blaring through tape recorders, radio sets, and Walkmans.

Oh yes, that was the era of the Walkmans. Those ubiquitous cassette holding music players, which all the cool kids and music aficionados used to carry.

I remember, I got a Walkman of my own when I was in high school. And I was in love with it, playing those recorded cassettes bought from the local music library guy. The day it malfunctioned and stopped working was a sad day.

But I got another one soon enough, by literally pestering my father. He never denied us the good things in life when we were growing up, never does so even now when we have all grown up!! 🙂

So, the brand new top-of-the-line Walkman with excellent headphones became my new companion. In the ensuing days, as I travelled quite a bit by train to different places, the Walkman made those journeys a breeze.

As the years passed, the Walkman faded away and was replaced by the iPod. And that was even more fun. As Jobs claimed, a thousand songs in my pocket literally meant a never ending stream of the choicest music I wanted to hear. It was an immersive experience.

I remember an occasion when I was singing aloud so long with the song playing on the Walkman, that other co-passengers started looking at me strangely and I realised it only after a couple of minutes. Or the one when I was standing at the door in the night (I could never sleep in trains at night) and singing along, when the ticket inspector mistook me for a person who frequently used to travel without ticket and it took me some convincing to get back to my seat.

Over the years, as life has become faster and faster, and the phone has taken over and became the all-in-one device, I have realised that the enjoyment that I derived from listening to music has diminished. Perhaps it’s because of the multiple things that I do on the phone all the time that take my attention away. Or it’s probably just that my mind is so occupied now.

Every once in a while though, there are those moments, when I just switch on the music and let my mind wander with the tune and let time fly by without a worry on my mind. And in those moments, I recollect the nights spent listening to music and how it transported me to my dreams and gave me wings.

A powerful ally and a wonderful friend. Hope I get to spend more time with you in years to come…

Trust matters!

~ Rishi ~ 4 Comments

While playing with my daughter at home last weekend, when attempting to swing her in my arms, her anxious face and nervous laughter told me one thing – she somehow wasn’t 100% sure if she wouldn’t get hurt…

Although it was a small moment, I stopped and talked to her; mentioned that she can trust me for everything; and made a note to myself to re-assure her the next time I do something similar.

As this week passed on and I spent some more time with my daughter, I consciously tried to ensure that the trust which was established, remained. And it definitely added to the fun that the two of us had.

Reflecting back, I think trust forms the bedrock of everything we do.

Whether it is our relationships, or our behaviour with people we know or don’t know, or for that matter our work and it’s outcome, trust is an important foundational element.

And as we go along in life, that trust increases or decreases based on our observations and perception of the reciprocation from the other side. Be it our family, friends, relatives, or colleagues.

However, having had some experiences, which have led to some white hair, I have come to appreciate that trust is not just a one sided affair. It has to be mutual. Only then does something result in success. In life or at work.

When I look back at the friendships I have had, or professional relationships with colleagues or business partners, trust made them and erosion of trust marred them. And yet, as I look back, I sometimes feel that I became too judgemental too quickly in some of the cases which didn’t end well. Or I formed a perception, which may not have been absolutely correct, which led that path down the short road.

Perhaps, we need to be more accommodative of others. Give them more time and space. And respect that things sometimes take time and the dice may not always roll the way we want it. That will probably help in avoiding wrong decisions.

And as the ‘other’ party, it is imperative that we do all one can to retain that trust and build the bond stronger. Unless it absolutely becomes impossible to carry it forward.

In this day and age when our opinions and perceptions get shaped quickly and can change by the day, remembering that it is easier to gain trust than lose it and that sometimes slowing down our snap decisions will serve us better in the long run, will take us further.

After all, matters related to trust should neither be taken lightly nor judged too quickly…