In Comparison.

It was the summer of 96. I had just settled down into a new place and passed out of 9th grade.

It was also a season of change. There were changes everywhere and in my group of friends too, everyone was getting a new bicycle.

In those days, we used to ride our cycle to the school and pretty much everywhere. So for every kid, a bicycle was the most prized asset. In small towns across India, this used to be a pattern with kids going in for changing bicycle designs every 2-3 years.

96 was one such year. But I felt miserable. My current cycle was 4 years old now and due for an upgrade. There was a new design in town and with most of my friends now owning the new design, mine felt automatically old.

And yet, my father won’t approve of it. He explained to me that I can carry on in my current one for another year at least and he will get me a new one the following year.

I was devastated and couldn’t comprehend why I couldn’t get the new model. So I again had a chat with my dad, trying to coax him. He told me to shake it off and gave me some analogies to explain that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others and rather be happy and thankful about what I have. It took some time but that lesson hit home.

I didn’t ask for a new one again until next year, when he himself readily agreed to buy one. I was overjoyed and needless to say, treated it like a prized possession.

What I didn’t realise then but do now was the way he made me understand an absolutely necessary fact of life. Stop comparing yourself to others. And be happy in all circumstances.

That lesson has stayed with me since then. Often, as is natural, the urge to see how I am faring against others crops up and tries to push me down the road less desirable. It’s only these lessons, which somewhere got etched in my memory, that have helped me reset my compass.

This week as something again propped up on the horizon and the inner voice tried to push me in that direction, I was reminded of this lesson about not to compare and held myself back. As I shook myself off that track and reminded myself to stay true to my own path, I realised that this comparative approach is often just an innate desire to prove to ourselves or to prove our worth to others.

It is a strange feeling, taking away the fun of what we have done and pushing us into a corner where our mind starts believing that we ought to do better. And more often than not, it wins in overpowering our minds and polluting it.

It is perhaps due to the fact that we have always viewed competition as virtuous. Or perhaps due to the reason that we believe in ourselves and want to outperform. Or maybe just because we see others behaving in this fashion and join them.

Whatever might be the case, we owe it to ourselves to keep a check on “these feelings” and be mindful to walk our own path.

For truly that is when we can seek and hopefully find happiness!

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