Month: September 2022

It all adds up…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We go through our life with hopes, aspirations, and goals. We also go through fear, frustration, and stress in the same breath…

If we look at it on the surface, we could say that these are two sides of the same coin and are bound to happen in life. However, if we peep inside, we will find that a lot of the fears, frustrations, and stress that we have in our life are harbored by us based on our choices. They all add up. And because we let them affect us, our health gives way to engulf in us myriad problems and diseases.

This past week, I spent a lot of time reflecting on this aspect. The week itself was one of loss and remembrance. My maternal grandmother passed away, leaving us at the wise age of 92. May her kind soul rest in peace!

As I travelled to pay my last respects to her and then returned after the humbling experience, I couldn’t put behind myself the fact that she lived for this long a time but wasn’t suffering from any particular ailments. God gave her enough strength to live happily and pass away without too many difficulties.

Recalling the time that I had spent with her and about her life, it occurred to me that one of the most important reasons for her long life must have been absence of too much stress and frustrations. There may have been other factors as well, but the fact that life was much more simpler in olden days cannot be underestimated.

Once my train of thoughts started catching speed, I realized that what I have been doing is contrary to how I should be living my life. I take a lot of stress for things that probably don’t deserve so much attention. I eat unhealthy sometimes, don’t exercise and generally spend a lot of my day sitting around in front of a computer. I don’t get enough sleep and try to do too many things together. I don’t take out enough time to spend with my family and loved ones, sometimes relegating it to the weekend.

While I take pride in myself about how I generally have walked my own path, how I am much fitter than others my age, how I don’t have any ailments (yet), how I have a lovely family, all of these are things that I need to work on more! And so, I take the following pledges for myself to focus on in the years to come.

I will reduce stress in my life. Let things be. Stop worrying about things I have no control over. Live life in a way that allows me to enjoy and experience everything.

I will focus on being healthy. Eat well, avoid things I shouldn’t be eating. Sleep well, get more rest. Exercise regularly, avoid being lazy.

I will take out time to do things that make me happy. Even if it means I don’t read that news article or don’t watch something that others are going gaga over.

Most importantly, I will take out more time to spend with my family and enjoy life. Not just on the weekend but also during the week. Even if it is just a while.

I don’t know if these are the only things I need to do or if there are others. But what I do know is following this pledge is going to be difficult. However, I will strive. For beyond this effort probably lies a better me, a fitter me, and a more wholesome me.

And hopefully by doing this and more, I will avoid all the negative things around me adding up to create a bigger hole…

A Personal Loss

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s been an utterly sad day…

I lost my maternal grandmother today. She was 92, so a life well lived. May her beautiful soul rest in peace. 🙏

As I saw my father and mother get the news, I realised how disturbing it is to receive, comprehend, and react to such a shock. Especially for a child, who just lost a parent.

While we made arrangements to travel for her funeral, I also observed how excruciating it is to accept this kind of a loss. How our mind keeps going back to the days and time we spent with the deceased person, the memories we created and persevere on, and the lingering feeling of emptiness that is left behind.

Difficult indeed. Unavoidable not at all. Can only pray that we individually and collectively have enough strength to absorb and bounce back from such a shock!

In it together.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was night. As usual, He and She sat down in the balcony of their house. But no one spoke. They just looked at the lights in the horizon.

It had been a tiring and long day. He had wished for it to end sooner. What else could he have thought of with such a disappointing day.

She was just frustrated. After so much that she had done, she absolutely should have been in a better place. Alas, it wasn’t to be.

Finally, after a few mins, She spoke. She asked him about why the look on his face was grim. He saw her and saw sadness and asked the same question back. She told him to share first before she goes ahead.

He spoke about how he had had an insipid day. He had been waiting for this day when he would get the results of his labour of last 6 months. A deal that he was chasing and was nearing closure was going to give him that edge over others at work. And when it mattered the most, luck had deserted him.

Instead of the deal going through smoothly, an unnatural act of nature had forced the backers of the deal to back off and now they had called it off. His most anticipated day had turned to be the worst suddenly. And he couldn’t do anything about it! This was what made him listless.

It was her turn to speak then. She wanted to give him some advise but held on to it for the time being. She then revealed that she actually wasn’t looking forward to the day at all. Her day, as usual had started early, by getting the children ready for school. After finishing all the chores, as she got to work, she realised that she had tons of things on her table. That took her entire day.

By the time she could get back home, it was dinner time. As she entered, the first thing her children asked for was food. They had an aversion to eating outside and the cook hadn’t come that day. Exhausted, she quickly prepared something and got them to eat and wind up for the day.

After she finished, He jumped in. He had been wanting to talk to her about why she had been feeling so pressured. His point was simple. She didn’t need to prove herself all the time. She was beyond that now. Instead, she could just do things without aiming to exceed expectations always. It was ok if she didn’t meet expectations some times. He will make sure no one will judge her all the time, at least at home.

She felt better. She then suggested that he ought to let go of his disappointment as well. He had tried what he could and one thing falling off didn’t mean the end of the road. He will surely have many more opportunities and some of them will click for him. Instead, he should look back at what he was able to learn and achieve in this short span and how that is going to help him. He too felt better.

As they looked at each other, they realised that they were unnecessarily holding on to things that didn’t matter as much.

What mattered was, having each other and being truthful and supportive! Being in it together…

Companionship

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s a beautiful word. And complex too…

While most of us think about it in terms of a partner, I think there is a broader definition to it. For some of us, a companion may mean someone who we are attached to through our soul – a parent, a child, a sibling, a pet, a friend, or maybe even a passion.

For a lot of us, the companion is a key part of our regular existence. We love them, fight them, console them, argue with them, forgive them; but come what may we generally cannot do without them.

It’s very rare to see someone not have any companion in their journey of life!

Past few days, as this word came up in my discussions with different friends a couple of times, it raised a thought in my head around the various facets of companionship.

I have been lucky. I found my life partner most naturally and we developed a great relationship and understanding between ourselves right from the start. It was as if we were destined for each other. We had a great time before getting married and it has been an equally interesting ride post that. She complements me well and takes care of me, and I would like to believe that I am the pillar of support she looks at for all things in life.

We spend a lot of time together and partake in each other’s companionship. Do we fight? Yes, a lot of times. Do we disagree with each other? Absolutely yes. But that’s par for the course. For what is a relationship without some bickering. However, what trumps all of this is the love and respect we have for each other as individuals and collectively for ourselves as a family that carries us through. And this companionship keeps us bonded and carries us through.

So, clearly I am not someone who has experienced the other side of things.

But as I thought about those few people I have seen around me, who aren’t married or in a relationship, I realized that while they may not have a companion in the traditional sense, they have a similar affinity with someone in their close circle. And usually that relationship means a lot to them.

Even as I thought harder, I couldn’t find a single person in my known circle who could prove to be an exception. Maybe there is someone who doesn’t have a companion right now, but they are already looking for someone. Or maybe they are engaging with someone else in their close circle in a similar capacity. Or maybe they are wedded to their passion.

Does that mean living life without a companion is hard or impossible? I don’t know. May be possible still. But then, that person would find solace in something else – perhaps a hobby, or any activity which keeps them busy. Even if it is for a brief while. Otherwise, it would become insanely difficult to make life interesting and continue living.

A beautiful and complex word and association, which is not only important but also essential to our life then…