Month: February 2023

A Special Day…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Dusk had set in, with the sun ready to go down behind the horizon. And yet, as she pulled up into the parking lot, the lady of the house felt as if she had lived through an entire day.

With a couple of young kids, all the workplace stuff, as well as household chores to take care of, she had her hands full on the best of the days. Ever since they had moved to this new place, it had become even more hectic for her.

Parking the car, she knew that the kids would have been back from their after-school classes, waiting for her to reach home. Her husband would be busy as usual with his official calls, wrapping up work. There was still the evening dinner to take care of and then some more things before the day ended.

Before she entered the house, she sat in her car in the parking lot. It was as much to take a breather as to prepare herself for the remaining few hours in that long day.

After a few still minutes, she gathered her belongings, locked the car, and walked up to her apartment. There were a few people walking around on their evening stroll who she nodded to greet along the way.

Outside the door, she stopped for a while. There was no noise from inside the house and the lights were switched off. Could it be that her husband had taken the kids out for some play time or for running an errand? Would give her a few more minutes of solitude for sure, she thought.

Then, as she got in and switched on the light, a surprise awaited her. Her husband jumped out from behind her and embraced her. Her children, hiding away in one of the bedrooms, came running toward her shouting “Momma”, and joined their dad and mom. And then, all of them started to sing the birthday song!

The lady couldn’t understand. It wasn’t her birthday for sure. Nor it was anyone else’s at home…

When the song came to an end, she realized that it was actually the day they had moved into their new home a year ago. They were all wishing each other for completing a year in their new home.

More surprises awaited her. She was escorted to the dinner table, which was laid out with her favorite Thai food. Her husband served food while the children got out a cake. They made her feel like a queen, taking care of everything.

After the dinner was done with, they all sat down in the living room. The children got out a collage of various pictures they had taken during the time they were setting up the house. It was a good reminder of all the effort that had gone in to set it up.

She was overwhelmed and thanked them all for the evening. They just smiled and thanked her for doing all she had to turn that house into a home. And then revealed that they had been planning this for a while without giving her any hint.

That night, she slept with a smile on her face. Content with the recognition received. And happy about the achievement of having converted the house to a home.

Authentic Self

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Most times, we aspire to reach new heights and break new grounds. Sometimes however, we go about them in a manner that makes it hard for us to achieve them.

Today, while hiking with my daughter and having a conversation, this fact suddenly wound me up.

As we started walking again after a short stop, my mind first went back in time to 2012. I had started my own business and was setting it up. This meant that I had to take care of everything. While a few of those things came naturally to me, I struggled initially with selling.

You see, I had never done any kind of sales until that time. I viewed myself as an introvert and therefore when initially I failed, I thought it was due to my nature. But then, under pressure to move things, I took it upon myself to change approaches, try new product pitches, new methods to close the sale, and so on. Without much luck.

Then, after a couple of frustrating months, it hit me. I was failing not because I didn’t try enough but because I was trying too hard. And it showed in my effort, which didn’t appear natural or aligned with who I was as a person.

With this realisation, I changed my approach. Instead of adopting new techniques suggested by others, I went through the entire sales process and shaped my own unique approach. I started being more natural in front of my clients. And slowly, that started getting me desired results.

My thoughts then cut to 2016 as we kept moving through the trail. After closing down my business, I had moved on and taken up a job. As a consultant, it was a new industry for me.

I initially tried to adopt approaches that had worked with other people in the firm. While that worked in some cases, it didn’t give me desired results at all times. Looking back at my experiences, I soon realised that I should do what naturally comes to me.

So, I tweaked my approach and started to bring my own natural, whole self in front of my clients and stakeholders. As I did that, I started seeing better results and outcomes. And that helped me succeed in my role.

Eventually, as we reached the last leg of the hike, my mind forced me to reflect on the present and a conversation I was having with my coach this week.

We were discussing about my goals and talking about what I need to do to get there. As we went into more details and she helped me peel the layers, it gave me some direction about where I should be heading.

I had been thinking about that discussion for a couple of days, trying to draw out the next steps and a plan. Today, as these two experiences flashed in front of me, I realised that I must build on a plan but keep it natural.

For, what is more important is to always project my natural self and be authentic. At work. Or in life. Only then can I expect to stand out. And be successful.

Lesson learnt again…

You vs You

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I had woken up in the middle of the night, sweating profusely. Lying down in my bed in my room within the confines of the Indian Military Academy, I had just had a bad dream.

It wasn’t as much a dream as a replay of my worst fear. I had flunked a physical test that day, in the first attempt in my second and final term at the academy. Back in those days (don’t know if this still holds), we were given three attempts to pass the physical tests. No prizes for guessing that if we didn’t, we couldn’t pass out and become an officer.

My dream was about this failure. That I had flunked the third and final test too and was going to get relegated to another term!

Well you see, I didn’t get into the academy with a lot of strength. In fact, most of us didn’t. Hence, the training was designed in such a way that we build that strength gradually. And the tests were also designed in such a way that we needed to build that strength, right from our head to our toe, to pass them.

Having cleared the first term, we already knew what was in store for us in the second term. But some of us, including myself, had taken it lightly. Until the first attempt. And then suddenly a sense of urgency was kicked into high gear.

My nemesis was the toe touch. Basically an exercise to test one’s core muscles, it involved hanging on a pull-up bar and then curling your legs at the knees, bringing them to your chest, and then rolling over backwards, such that your toes touch the bar.

It was a difficult one for most of us. Only some chaps, having built enough core strength, had sailed through in the first attempt. While that was some solace, it still meant that there was tremendous work needed to get in shape for the second attempt. A month away.

I was at the lowest level in that exercise then. That meant I could bring my knees folded to my chest, but didn’t have enough core strength to then roll over. Not even an inch.

So, a few of us who were at the same level, formed a squad and got to training. That meant constantly working on our core strength, doing a truck-load of sit-ups and planks, eating in a calibrated fashion, and challenging ourselves on the pull-up bar everyday.

Cutting to the chase, in that one month, we all put ourselves on a regime that extracted a lot from us. Going all in, we didn’t leave even a single bit to chance, steeling our minds to the task. Most of us sailed through in the second attempt. Those who still needed more work, got through in the third one.

But that also taught me one important thing in life.

Most times, it is just you vs. you!!!

We come across multiple challenges in our life. Some of our own choosing, some that just crop up and then some which are thrust upon us. Whatever it may be, most times we must singularly work to overcome it. We may get help from others but unless we have resolved in our mind to ace the challenge, we won’t.

When a new one crops up, we may look at it with skepticism. Will we be able to do it? Will this mean we going beyond our known limits? As long as it is healthy skepticism, it is good. It keeps us in check and grounds us. What we need to be watchful about is that it doesn’t turn into a constant worry and acts as a roadblock.

I believe that’s the key to taking things head on. And succeeding. Knowing what we are up against, and what we need to do to make it count, is half the battle won. The other half is just executing on the plan.

After all, what is life without a new challenge and a plan to overcome it…

Unconditional Love

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a cold evening. The boy was shivering. But he continued to sit on the park bench. It was like time stood still for him.

When he had sat down there, with his drooping shoulders and watery eyes, the park was full of people. All sorts of them.

Some walking on the track, some expressing their love to each other, some enjoying time with their friends and family. But he could bet there was no one there in the park that day who had a similar experience as him.

That afternoon, he had set out to meet his biological father and mother for the first time. He had only known about the truth for the last one year. When his parents, who had adopted him right after his birth, had revealed it.

It was straight out of a story book. Given up at the hospital after birth, he was left in the neonatal ward and was adopted by a couple who had had a stillborn.

They had raised him as their own and he loved them the most in this world. But since he had been told of his adoption, he wanted to meet the couple who had given birth to him.

After a year of contemplation, he had written to them. Introducing himself as a young researcher, interning with a college professor, who wanted to interview them. He wasn’t sure how they would react if he just told them about the relation he had to them.

So, he had setup a meeting at a coffee shop near the park to meet them that evening at 4. They had mentioned to him that they will be in that shop meeting some other friends.

As he reached early that day, he realised that the couple was sitting with a group of friends. There was a lot of banter going on. And he didn’t want to disturb them, so he took another table nearby and ordered a cappuccino for himself to kill time.

The clock hour moved but the group didn’t dissipate. The couple were oblivious to time. It was as if they didn’t remember about meeting him. He got up when it was fifteen minutes past their meeting time, but as he got nearer to the table, he overheard their conversation.

The couple were making fun of him, imitating how he had spoken to them on the telephone. The man mentioned that he had no intention to meet any young fella, he was sure it would be a waste of time and he was anyways not turning up. The lady added to it, announcing young people as a wasted generation, and how she was happy they didn’t have any children.

The couple then looked at each other approvingly, as if agreeing for the n’th time that they had successfully hidden their truth.

The boy could take it no more. He turned around and with moist eyes, ran to the park and sat down.

All sorts of thoughts were going on in his head. He despised the couple and couldn’t believe they were his biological parents. He despised himself going after a lost cause, when he knew clearly that the couple had given him up at birth.

Then, as the evening wound up, most people started dissipating from the park. It was closing time.

He didn’t know how he could go back to his home now. What would he tell his parents. How would he face them. Without any clear answers, he kept fidgeting in his seat.

Until, he saw a couple with a special child walking past. They had all reason to be upset as their child was not in the best elements. No one wishes for a special child. And yet, they cared for him deeply and somehow managed to get him to calm down and move out.

It then hit him. Biological or genetic bonds meant nothing. The ones who raised him were his parents. They were the ones who had done everything for him. And he didn’t need to answer anything to them.

At peace within, he walked out and to his home. To his parents. For their love was unconditional and their bond eternal.