Month: April 2023

Loss

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

It was a gloomy day with no harbinger of hope. The lady, middle aged in her appearance and demeanor, stood near the door.

The door of their home. With eyes longing to see him turn back and return to where he belonged.

But those feet took him further away with each passing second. His mind frozen, he had resolutely moved ahead.

As she saw the van pull away, she wiped her tears and went back inside. The house was empty. There was no one there.

They had no kids. Not many friends either. They had been in the same area for a few years but didn’t have any family there.

She sat down in the armchair near the window and looked out. It must have been a couple of hours, for next she heard the call for the daily prayer from the nearby temple.

The next few days were a blur. She carried on with her life, utterly sad. For what was hers had been taken away. A part of her identity was lost.

How she wished she had done something with this aspect of their life in all those years when they were caught up in working hard to make their life better.

As she continued to reflect in the aftermath of the mishap, she realised it was a gradual fall into the abyss.

With both of them busy with work and life, they never took time out for themselves. In fact, they never took time out for anything. Frequent work pressure and the eagerness to excel pushed them toward even more work. They had no time for each other in that rigmarole.

She had thought that after they had earned enough they will have more time together. But that milestone never arrived.

Now finally, when he was gone, she felt a void. And remorse.

Nothing could be done now. He was gone. From this world. After all those years of neglect, life had caught on with him and decided to take its toll in the form of his death.

Only if they could have spent more time together when they were younger… Perhaps if they could have defined ‘enough’ and then taken a backseat… Or maybe they should have taken better care of themselves…

It was however very late now!

“Cousins”

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The last week was amazing. We spent some quality time together with cousins in Florida and had a lot of fun.

It also got me thinking about how we have evolved as a family unit over the last few years. And I am only referring to the Indian society here…

During my childhood, most of my time was spent with my cousins. Specially the summer vacations and most big festivals. It always used to be a big get-together and the definition of partying was to have loads of fun at home.

Every summer vacation I used to be excited to meet my cousins, spending time playing games, getting to know what’s happening in their life. That helped us forge stronger bonds. We used to plan ahead for the next trip and feel part of an extended family. And while we usually met only once a year, it was a special feeling to have brothers and sisters beyond the siblings.

They may be older or younger but they were cool friends. Someone whom you could share secrets with. Someone who you could hang out with through the night talking about random things. Someone whom you could go to movies with.

As I think back to our parents’ time, with many more children in the household (an average of 4-5 used to the norm I believe), they would have had a much bigger extended family and therefore more fun in their life. This shows, as even now, they are closely connected with most of their cousins and extended families.

In contrast, our generation has regressed a little in this regard. That is what it seems like based on my own assessment. We have gotten busier in life and more drawn into its vagaries. We still enjoy being with our cousins and look forward to such occasions but we don’t get as many opportunities as before. And we let it be, rather than making efforts to be more plugged in to the extended family.

With our children, this is however becoming a bigger concern. My daughter has not met a few of her cousins till date and she is only close to a few of them, countable by hand. While she is only seven and there’s ample opportunity for her to get to know and become close to the others, it definitely requires an effort.

I view it as my fault as a parent that I haven’t been able to provide her with the same experience that I had. Not for the want of intent though but wholly attributable to the busy lives we lead. I haven’t pushed myself enough to make time to visit other cousins and spend time with them over the past few years.

And while we all have friends and she also has / will have them as she grows up, I hope I am able to provide her with enough chances to know and build strong bonds with her cousins. Not only for fun but also as a source of strength and support around her…

The Creator’s Pride

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I often get asked two things. Why do you write and how do you find time to do it…

The answer is always the same – because I find joy in it and finding time for something which gives one joy isn’t a problem ever.

But there’s a hidden reason also there. I write because I want to continue creating what I do. In the hope that I create something better some day.

Some even wonder who I write for – my target reader. Honestly, I don’t have one. For I find it beyond my intelligence to predict who will like what.

There have been times when I have created something which I thought was pretty darn impressive and not many people read it. And there have been instances when what I thought was average stuff has got more readership.

What I do want to acknowledge though is that I write because of a creator’s pride. Pride in creating something that is experienced by others in their own ways. Pride in being able to do what I do for my own sake.

Today, as I sat through a couple of exceptionally produced shows in Disney’s Animal Kingdom and then experienced the magic that the park had to offer, I was blown away by the creativity of those artists. It was a humbling experience.

While it was a day extremely well spent, what I also realised was that those artists or performers or whom I call creators, created what they have with pride. And it showed.

We often come across experiences that we like when we watch / read / hear / experience something. We wonder at those creators and marvel at their imagination.

What we miss is that they must have done it with a lot of apprehension. With an unknown amount of expectation about how it will be received. Not because they are necessarily seeking validation or praise but because they genuinely don’t know the outcome.

And still they choose to create. For the sake of their pride. For the fun they have in doing it. For the satisfaction they derive from it.

It is definitely a learning for us to then continue creating. Whatever we do. Because the crux of realising the beauty about creation is in the process of continuing with it…

Cravings

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

2009, Singapore. A bunch of us, together in the MBA program, were discussing about good options for having Indian food.

Someone in the group suggested we try out a restaurant called ‘Annapurna’. It literally means the goddess of food in Hindu culture. The place offered a buffet and trusting the reviews we got from a couple of other friends, we headed downtown.

It turned out to be just the place we were looking for. Craving for good Indian food, we had found a gem. Needless to say, over the next few months we visited the restaurant quite a few times. Every time we craved for Indian food and even when we didn’t.

2018, Bangalore. I had been in the city for a few years and had been used to the piping hot idlis, crisp dosas and filter coffee that the many darshinis (fast food restaurants) had to offer.

Then, someone suggested ‘Taaza Thindi’ in Jayanagar. I had never been there. But again based on online reviews decided to try it. And it turned out to be a revelation. Ever since, we went there at least once a month to satisfy our cravings.

Craving for an ice cream today, I remembered these instances and they instantly bought a smile to my face…

I am sure all of us have similar stories. Where we found something that appealed to our senses and the craving for that experience led us to the same place multiple times.

What’s interesting to note though is that it is very difficult for something to appeal to us in a fashion that it draws us time and again. Out of the many places we have been to, only a few really earn a recall or even compel us to visit again.

I may be speaking from a short-sighted stance but it is almost always a place or thing which has character (age-old traditional one, new-age but very differentiated), or has a unique offering done right that we can’t find anywhere else. Because only when we associate with that character or uniqueness is when we crave for more of that experience.

I may be talking about food here but the same can apply for other things as well.

Interesting, because when we build something, we never think about this aspect deeply. In most cases, we try and conform to the trends – to what others are doing, or what they want, or what we see elsewhere.

What if instead, we started with a focus on differentiating ourselves in terms of what we stand for and how we do things. And then continue to do it day in and day out. Until we gain mastery over it and it becomes second nature. Enough to compel others to be drawn to our work – be it cooking, writing, or what we do in our day jobs!