There are things we do for ourselves. And then there are things we do for others.

All because we want to.

But then there are things we do because someone tells us to. Because we promised them.

But do we really want to do it? And does that promise really hold any meaning?

This weekend, as I celebrated my bday, my daughter made a big card for me. She wrote a lot of nice things and then left the note with a question.

“What is the one thing you wish I do, Papa”?

I read the entire note, hugged her. And then got busy with the cake!

She asked me nicely, “Can you please write something below my note, to mention what is the one thing you want me to promise”?

I wrote about how I want her to promise that she will always keep smiling and she happily accepted.

As I was reflecting back on that entire exchange, it didn’t seem like the right thing to me.

Not because I don’t believe in her sincerity but because the only way she can learn to keep promises is when it comes from within her.

This is something I have realised over time. The only promises I keep or strive for are the ones I am making myself, with my own heart. If not, they are half-hearted, and have a higher chance of not being fulfilled.

In fact, a lot of times, we promise things to people when they ask for. We assure them about how we will do that one thing because they asked us for it.

And then we forget. Or neglect. Or contest.

Why make the promise in the first place then!

But we still do because we feel if we don’t promise, the other person will feel bad. Or offended that they are asking or requesting us and we are saying a no.

What if we instead remained truthful to ourselves and by extension to others?