There are many a times we suffer from nostalgia, when we recount the days passed by. Either with friends or family or in a particular setting.

There are also things that we have done or decisions we have taken, which at some point in time come back to us and result in guilt.

This past week, as I landed in the Bay Area and spent a few days in Foster city, these two feelings hit me simultaneously.

We spent a year and a half in this place, before we moved back to India 6 months back…

When I had booked the trip, I planned to stay in the vicinity of the office and some other folks I wanted to meet. So, foster city was a natural choice.

It didn’t occur to me much until later, when a colleague asked me if I will feel nostalgic upon my return. Even then, I brushed it off, thinking it will be fine.

However, I was surprised by the intensity of the feeling. It’s been six months but as I walked around the same paths I used to pass by and went around some landmarks we used to visit or our life revolved around, it felt like those days were flashing past me.

I and my wife going for a walk. Our daughter going into the school or we picking her back. A couple of supermarkets we used to go to quite often. A couple of restaurants we frequented.

The list could go on. But you get it. There was heavy nostalgia in revisiting those recent memories. And a heavier sense of guilt!

Guilt because, it was our choice to move back. And for having pushed the family out of this setting.

I lived with questions for a couple of days…

Did I take a hasty decision? Should we have stayed here longer, perhaps we would have found more friends and a life! Why did I give in so easily and not fight it out?

Those couple of days were spent in a lot of self introspection and questioning myself.

Then, as I was reflecting on my days passed by and recounting to a friend what we have been up to ever since going back to India, it struck me.

It may have been a decision taken too soon. But it wasn’t in haste.

We would have definitely found more friends here, but we have so many in Bangalore. And a lot more family around, shorter distances away.

I could have fought on living here but I didn’t want to miss a chance of living life more fully with people I really wish to spend time with.

And so, as I flew out of the city, it became apparent to me that the nostalgia I was feeling was natural but the guilt that had been brewing inside could be put aside.

Maybe, I will still get these kind of questions both inside my head and from my wife and daughter, when we compare something between the two places.

But I hope my head will be able to handle those feelings better and not leave me confused as I was these past few days!

After all, the nostalgia means we had a good time, although it lasted a short while. Perhaps incentive to plan a family trip sometime later on.

And without any feeling of guilt left over, I could happily say that the one and a half year we spent here was some of the best times we spent as a family!