Month: September 2025

Let Go…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Ansh was excited. He had just got a bigger bicycle on his fifth birthday and was graduating to the next level.

Most of his friends had the bigger bike, so it was as much a matter of proving himself and belonging to the group, as it was to feel older in his mind and heart.

The next day he took his bike down along with his dad, Bijoy. He wanted to get some practice in. However, the bigger bike wasn’t a natural promotion, when it came to riding it. He had to now learn how to ride one without side supporters. Which meant he had to learn to balance, learn to coordinate his actions, and learn to always be alert.

Ansh felt overwhelmed by the thought and asked his dad if it was indeed a good idea to practice then or come back later the next day. His dad understood. After all, he had gone through similar anxiety when he was younger. Bijoy told Ansh that he need not worry and with his support he will be able to learn soon.

The first couple of times, Ansh was very cautious. He continued to turn back to check if his dad was holding the bike or not. Only after the second run did he stop doing that every minute.

By the time he had gotten to his fourth run, he was pedalling well, braking well, and Bijoy could sense that he was ready. So after giving him an initial push, he left the bike. Only to see Ansh go for a few feet and then turn back, stare at him in horror, and topple over.

Bijoy rushed to the spot. He looked over Ansh to check if he had got any injury and if he was ok. Ansh was crying, feeling as if he had been cheated. It took him a lot of consoling to regain his composure. But without the confidence of riding the bike again. So, they both went back home.

Bijoy asked him to come along again the next day and while Ansh was hesitant, he promised Ansh that he had only left him because he thought Ansh could now ride on his own. While that was a little comforting, it wasn’t entirely convincing. Ansh however went along.

After a couple of runs, Bijoy could observe that Ansh was getting into the groove. However, knowing that Bijoy may do a repeat of the previous day, he was checking again and again if he was being held. After the fourth time, Ansh asked to stop. He had had enough practice for the day.

The same pattern repeated for the next two days. While Bijoy thought Ansh was ready to be left alone, he couldn’t muster the last push and let go. He had continued to hold the bike all along for those few practice runs.

Eventually, he realized that by not letting Ansh go on his own, he was becoming an impediment in his learning. That day, after the first two runs, as Bijoy noticed Ansh was getting comfortable, he decided to leave Ansh on the third one. Ansh went a slightly longer distance before he looked back and realizing Bijoy wasn’t there, panicked. However, by now he had learnt how to control the bike well, so he didn’t fell down. He just continued riding and then got back the full circle, stopping the bike in front of Bijoy.

Bijoy was elated. So was Ansh. He took Ansh into his arms and hugged him.

While Ansh had learnt how to ride a bike, Bijoy had learnt how to let go…

Disagreements…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Father and daughter disagreements are common in our home. There are quite a few petty things that we both don’t agree with each other on and argue about!

Like, how much time can one watch television. Or when is the right time to sleep. These are fun.

Then, there are the more serious ones. Like, how much should one eat. Or how much should be individual contributions to household chores.

And finally, there are the critical ones. Like, which colour combinations to wear or not. Or how much time can be spent outside home in play.

Which of these happen at what time of the day is a compeltely random phenomenon. It could be triggered by an event like getting back from school or getting back home after play. Or could be triggered while we are sitting together and spending time doing something…

Whenever we have one of these disagreements and an eventual argument, I think I am right but maybe my daughter has a point. My daughter thinks she is right but maybe there’s something I am stating that may be important. And both of us believe this completely.

During the peak of the argument, it seems like we may stick to our individual stance. However, most of the arguments end with one of us agreeing to the other’s point of view because we started with the belief that maybe the other person has a point of view that is right!

Sometimes those conclusions are reached amicably. Sometimes there is a struggle and after much pulls and pressures, one of us bows down. And then, there are a few times, when we agree to disagree and move on to deal with other stuff.

In either case, these disagreements rarely lead us to a place where we don’t talk to each other. Even when we agree to disagree, there’s reconciliation by way of hugs, kisses, or holding hands.

And while it doesn’t take us long to get into another disagreement, we rarely get into an argument about the same thing the same day. Unless, of course the trigger event recurs. Which is, quite possible!!

Eventually, these situations are making us tougher. To continue disagreeing with each other with respect for the other’s ideas. And with the tacit understanding that an argument is just that, an argument…

“Technified”

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

All of us have different mechanisms to cope with things we find difficult. While they may seem amusing to those who are at ease in those situations, there is an ingenuity involved in figuring out how to get by things that are not natural to you.

One such thing that most people have had to adapt to is using mobile phones. While for most of us born in the last fifty years it comes somewhat naturally, for many of the older folks as well as for not-so-regular users of tech, they have had to adapt to this now inseparable extension of self.

Over the last few years, I have seen people use their own mechanisms to effectively use mobile phones. Some have learnt the basics and take their own time to do other things, some others have used it as little as needed.

I have seen many people use their native language to make it easy to navigate the system. Others use dictation instead of typing long sentences while communicating. Many use it only as a phone.

I, having been a natural with tech, find some of those patterns amusing.

Like using google to help with basic tasks. Strangely, folks who can play all kinds of games on the touchscreen but aren’t as well versed with the other functions of the device.

Or like dictating instead of typing. For me, writing comes naturally. So even when I am conversing in long sentences, I prefer typing them. But for many folks around me, I am increasingly observing the use of dictation.

Then I saw some pretty slick users adapting to these new patterns as well. My wife using dictation to send long messages. One of my friends using google as it would have been faster than finding something buried in settings.

As I saw those same patterns repeated with relatively sophisticated users, I realised that they love these shortcuts or tricks because it works for them. That’s the bottom line.

We technologists may think of features and usage patterns in an absolutely purist sense, not realising that the world has all kinds of people and they have different kinds of needs.

Maybe that’s why most technology products fail. They only serve the selected few. Or are built for specific use cases.

Some of them do become runway hits. But only the ones who adapt to what the users want, stick around and become ubiquitous.

Perhaps, that is the lesson we need to consider when we think of how to solve problems. Would the solution be applicable for all kinds of users? Or is it only solving for a niche or edge case?

Worth pondering how technified we are and how technified are those who we are catering to…

I have arrived!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

What makes us think that? And is it really ever true?

This last week, I was incessantly scrolling my Google app feed. There were a lot of articles related to financial advise, probably owing to my recent searches to identify certain investment decisions and taxation.

As I went through some of those articles, I ended up reading a detailed review of the data on income distribution in India and the US and how that’s becoming more lopsided over the years.

Consuming the laid out information, my mind went to how do I fare in these distribution models. As an individual and as a household.

I quickly began to think about what it means to lie in the top x% of the population and how we associate our success to how we have moved up that ladder through our lives. Except for maybe a few who were born with a silver spoon!

Figuring the progress from the start point felt like a self congratulatory realization. A pat on my back for what I have been able to achieve till now. Good while it lasted.

But as my mind raced in that direction, the next question that occurred to me was what was a target to seek? Am I happy with where I am or do I need to strive for more? And where to draw the line of satisfaction?

Thinking deeper, I also came to terms that financial success couldn’t be the only metric on which I can decide whether I have arrived or not…

There are many things that make up my life and existence. And while money is an important aspect of it, it’s not the only one in that list.

My relationships and my association with my family and friends is critical to my functioning. My health is important for me. The contribution of my work to a bigger cause matters to me.

So, while I may associate my success momentarily with how much money I make or what’s my net worth; but in the scheme of life, all those other things matter almost as much as money.

The only difference is that money is probably the easiest to quantify and hence the most exciting of the lot. Their value and importance in life only comes to the fore when there’s something specific happening.

That, however, shouldn’t be so. A good reminder to myself…