Entitled

The clock struck 12. On a bright sunny morning, with the winter winds blowing on his face, Deepesh looked at his phone once again.

He had been walking outside the office building, not in the best of moods, after a call with one of his team members, Vipul.

Vipul was a hard worker and one of the brightest in the team. He was naturally chosen for difficult assignments and Deepesh had taken good care of him over the last couple of years.

However, today’s meeting with him had left Deepesh feeling cheated. Vipul had just announced that he was resigning because he had not got a good enough raise in the recently concluded increment cycle.

Deepesh had gone extra lengths to get him the best increment in the team. He had also discussed about putting up Vipul for a promotion in the next cycle.

After doing so much for him, the news of his resignation didn’t go down well with Deepesh. He had told as much to Vipul, sharing his unhappiness. However, Vipul strongly felt that he was entitled to much more than he had received.

As the day passed, the meeting continued to come back to Deepesh’s mind again and again. At first, he toyed with the idea of identifying how to retain Vipul. But it soon occurred to him that even if he succeeded in retaining, Vipul would not be able to shrug off the entitlement he felt he was owed.

Deepesh had to be fair to the other team members. He couldn’t afford to have other team members develop similar feelings without actually having done enough important work.

He also felt that what Vipul thought of his work was a very personal take on his own performance. And even if he tried to reason with Vipul, he wouldn’t be able to break through the barrier.

More importantly, Deepesh realised that every one, including him, had some feeling of entitlement. It was a natural feeling, based on what each individual thought his work was worth. And as a team leader, he needed to understand his team’s psyche better.

So, he decided to let go. He asked Vipul to wind up his work in the next one month. During that period, Deepesh spent time to understand the expectations and aspirations of his other team members.

He had frank conversations and gave and took feedback from each one of his team members. It not only helped him understand their thoughts but also allowed him to appreciate their feelings and chart out their growth paths.

It also allowed him to reflect about how he thought about his own performance. After all, he was entitled to do that!

“Virtually Connected!?”

This week, I was talking to a cousin, a younger brother who grew up before me. We were talking after almost six months. And we were discussing how we had both been so busy that time just slipped by.

The next day, I read somewhere, “the more we are connected, the more disconnected we feel”…

As I reflected on the statement and my chat with my cousin brother, it occurred to me that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

We are all very well connected. We carry a phone with us all the time and we are reachable instantly. But we find it increasingly difficult to call those who we want to be connected with.

It isn’t so much to do with only willingness. Maybe that’s the case in a few instances. But otherwise, we are all just badly caught up in life.

What used to be living has turned into survival. What used to be life has turned into a race…

Not so long ago, there was a time when we would spend an hour writing letters to our friends. They later became emails and then social media messages. Now-a-days, they are confined to mere wishes and maybe an occasional phone call.

Those were the days, when we would just arrive at someone’s doorstep and be invited instantly to partake in whatever meal everyone was having. Now, we plan much ahead of time, and yet find it onerous to arrange everything.

Those were the days, when we would just gather together for a game of cards or something indoors. Hours would be spent playing, without realising the time that had passed. Now, we try and time things so much that these fun times aren’t happening so often.

We are all to blame ourselves for this situation. We thought we are progressing but what has really happened is we have degraded in the one thing that really matters – human connection!

And then, we see our kids, who are already glued to their phones and gadgets, preferring to be virtually connected, rather than in person. Preferring to be online and hiding behind the screen anonymously.

We want them to go out and play. We want them to engage with other humans. We want them to develop bonds.

But we are the ones holding them back. By continuing to be a slave of our recently developed habits. And by setting a bad example for them during their formative years.

Perhaps, this Diwali, we ought to switch on the lights, invite people home, and enjoy being in other’s company! Setting an example for our little ones and more importantly, for ourselves…

Labour of Love…

There are passion projects. And then there is labour of love.

Something that is not just pursued only because you’re passionate about it but also because you want to see it come to life in the best way possible!

This weekend, as we stepped into our own home, this feeling stuck with me.

We had been at it for the last three months. Countless discussions, innumerable iterations, and a few sleepless nights later, here we were. Standing on the front door, ready to enter after the rituals got over.

I looked at my wife. It was her labour of love.

She had given it her all. Despite a very busy schedule at work and the madness around our household.

She hadn’t complained once and had patiently kept at it. Selecting materials, finalising designs, negotiating prices, navigating deadlines, and maybe a few things I couldn’t notice!

Ready to enter the new abode, she was awash with a certain calmness and pride.

In getting past everything and in how the vision had come to life.

In acknowleding that her unwavering commitment to getting what she wanted for the place had somehow serendipitously been rewarded.

And in accepting the fact that it was finally over…

There are yet many things to accomplish, as we move in and settle down. But hopefully those will involve less efforts and commitment for the same satisfaction…

Experience counts.

How often do we disregard experience and consider that it is not really important? Or take it for granted in a lot of things?

This week, as I was working to get some brand-new IKEA furniture assembled, I realised the power of experience.

As it so happened, we had bought a new table that I wanted to fix. Given that a carpenter was working on some other furniture in our house, I asked him for help.

He was a thorough hand with a lot of experience under his belt. I, on the other hand, being an inexperienced fellow in that field, wanted to exactly go by the book.

So, I opened the IKEA manual and started referring to detailed notes to identify how I should assemble the table. This guy was rather eager to get it done quickly.

Initially I took his eagerness for getting the job done as fast as he could and head back home, since it was already evening. As there were a few other things to take care of, I told him that we can do it the next day and we left it as is.

The next day, I was at work. Once he came in, he just referred to the manual once and understood how to actually put the table together. When I got back, he had done some of it already.

More importantly, he knew how the pieces would fit together and could visualise the joints perfectly. Observing him at his craft, I was amazed.

Then, I realised my folly. I had underestimated someone who lives and breathes this work day and night!

That evening, as we finished assembling the table together, I could sense a satisfaction within his voice. Of having been able to do it without extensively referring to the manual. And of having taught me a lesson.

The next time, when I call someone to get odd jobs done, I ought to remember that they are experts in their field and would know better.

While it’s always good to question and discuss things, it pays to respect experience…