Personal

Honour.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have often wondered how strongly do our deeds binds us to our words. Why would I do as I say? And what if I am not able to honour them?

This past week, on the work front, this aspect came into sharp focus for me personally.

Something I had promised didn’t go through. It was a setback. When I learnt of it, the first reaction was of disbelief and frustration. Why did it have to happen!

Then, as the aftermath of the situation dawned on me, I felt stifled. The next couple of hours, wading through anguish, I kept on thinking about how I had not been able to honour my words.

It was the worse I have felt in a few months. Not being able to do something about it immediately further added salt to the wound.

But as my mind calmed down and I started thinking about the entire episode, I realised that I had not honoured the basic premise on top of which I had made my promises.

I had been too confident that things will go as planned. That confidence didn’t allow me to look for alternatives even when the deadline was fast approaching.

I had depended on others promises, only to learn that they couldn’t be honoured, on the last day. And in doing so, I had not left any room to honour my words to others!

It has been a stark reminder. To not accept promises on face value. And to always have alternatives to ensure my words can be honoured.

But as they say about mistakes, “if it happens to teach you something, it’s worth it”, I am imbibing this as a lesson.

Shaken but not stirred…

A welcome surprise!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The year began for me on a good personal note. And the first fifteen days have been great!

With wifey away at her hometown, I spent quite a lot of time with my daughter alone. Well, she had school and the usual routines. But still, we spent more time together than we would have done normally.

It was amazing to notice how she is developing at closer quarters. Having multiple conversations gave me a better sense of her thinking and connecting with it.

It was also weird! Because daughters think very differently than sons. Having been one, I could identify some of those differences and those made me think.

For example, they have deeper observational skills. One day, looking at how I was more relaxed after the break, she commented how I was happier than usual.

They also have a keen sense of understanding how doing something right will get them what they wish for. On one of the days, knowing I was going to agree to her request if she returned home on time after playing, she came back promptly on her own and got something in return!

But the best one is how they take care of you and your feelings. On another day, she ensured that she took care of me when I wasn’t feeling too well. That felt special, knowing she was doing the most she could.

I am sure I didn’t have so much maturity when I was ten. I was lost in my own world, trying to make the most of my play time with friends.

In fact, I see this happen even as we grow older. With my wife, cousins, friends.

Daughters are closer to their family and loved ones. They tend to be more concerned and keep in touch more often, irrespective of how busy they are. We sons, give more attention to worldly matters and don’t do as much.

Or how, daughters think about every little detail, irrespective of their age. And for everyone. Whereas sons are mostly concerned about things that are visible and sometimes overlook the subtleties.

Whatever may be the reasons, I think it balances things beautifully. Different perspectives and thought processes allow for different strengths and thus different contributions.

Back to my story, as we came to the end of the ten day period we were without the boss at home, the one single takeaway was that this was fun!

And was a welcome surprise for both of us that we would love to repeat…

Action, Camera, Lights…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Another year went by. A new one has started.

Many of us have plans for the next twelve months. Or at least we think we do.

But do we pause and think if the order of things makes sense? And is that enough for us to achieve what we aim for?

Or are we rushing through the process, forgetting what comes first – lights or action?

Some of these thoughts crossed my mind as I spent the last week introspecting how the last year went by and what I should aim for in this new year.

I did a lot last year. Both on the professional and the personal front. A few things tick marked. There were a few misses but overall it was a good year.

A lot of learning happened. But one of the things that stayed with me was the process adopted and the results achieved.

There were times when I took a shortcut, either to get frustrated later on or through results that weren’t satisfactory or sustainable.

And then, there were cases when I adopted the right approach, and got to satisfactory and sustainable outcomes.

This happened in both my personal and professional life.

And as I saw where I was led to in either case, it became clearer that if I intend to achieve long-term success, I must do the right things at the right time. Rolling the camera without the lights won’t make much sense.

So, as 2026 begins, my one single resolve is to stick to a plan and make it work in the right manner. If I do that enough no. of times and for long enough, I should see some success…

Lights. Camera. Action.

Reliving a lived experience.

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There are moments in life which we relish and often remember. In the hope that we could relive them again or at least feel the same way again.

And then there are experiences which shape us. They may not necessarily be in the earlier category but are important to us as an individual.

This last week, I had an opportunity to relive a lived experience, one that fundamentally shaped me.

It was a visit to the Indian Military Academy, which I graduated from more than two decades ago. Those were the most formative years in my life, joining the Academy as an eighteen year old.

Thanks to a course mate, who was able to get a tour arranged, I visited the institution along with my family. As the assigned staff member took us around, I recounted some of my experiences to my wife and our daughter.

It was poignant to walk the same corridors once again. Now as a civilian, but with the same proud feeling of being able to walk there.

It was nostalgic to visit the rooms and stand in the same place I spent countless days in. And feel a little bit of what I went through in those days.

It was reliving memories filled with bitter sweet moments as I saw other parts of the academy. The playgrounds, the practice areas, the places I used to go past every day.

It was a reminder of how much things have evolved. The staff member was kind enough to detail how many things had changed from those days to now, and we compared them with what we used to do. They ought to be, in two decades.

It was fun to recall some of my experiences and share them with my family, as we zipped past some of the best and worst memories of the days lived there.

Finally, as we completed the tour and bid farewell to the staff member, driving out on the main road, I felt a tinge of sadness within myself. For the entire tour had ended in a couple of hours and my journey of reliving the lived experiences had ended.

I was overwhelmed thinking about how much time had passed since those days. At the same time, I was thankful that I got this opportunity.

Enough for me to carry fresh impressions of my days spent in that place so many years ago…

Personal Achievements

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We as parents are never behind in taking pride in our children and their achievements. Whatever may be the field in which they accomplished something.

But there are only a handful of times when we aren’t expecting but feel pride in our children because of how they proved themselves.

This week was one such experience for both of us…

The occassion was our daughter’s first term assessment and the ensuing meeting with the teachers. When we had got the assessment and read through it, we were surprised by some observations. Some of the other details we read through, not realizing their import.

So, as we went to meet the teachers, there was some amount of apprehension about how our daughter was doing in general. At least within me.

But as we started talking to the teachers, we realized that our daughter was doing much better than what we could gather by reading the report. I was pleasantly surprised!

The feedback we got from the teachers was not only encouraging but also a relief. The little one (well, not so little anymore!) had shown improvement in most aspects of her work through the last few months. From a place of just being ok, she was doing much better.

Hidden inside the earlier apprehension was the question of whether she had adjusted to the higher grade well and is she able to cope up. The revelation was emphatic – she had not just adjusted well, she was doing more than expected in certain aspects.

As parents, that was a moment of pride. I felt as if there was some hidden force that had propelled our daughter to a higher state. My wife felt as if she was coming into her own, well guided all around her.

As we walked out of the school after those meetings, we couldn’t help but smile. Our daughter had gone beyond what we were expecting, and it felt strangely satisfying. As if we had achieved all those things.

Perhaps, that’s how we as parents feel and partake in our child’s world. Their achievements and success feels as personal as anything could…

The Balancing Force

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This is one of the most intriguing questions , I think. How do you balance one side with the other.

And when it comes to relationships, it becomes all the more necessary. How do you achieve parity, love, and trust if you aren’t balancing each other?

Last week, I was having a deep conversation with a friend about this subject. We were talking about how the two people in a relationship must balance each other.

As we recounted our own experiences and shared them, I got a reaffirmation that this isn’t an easy thing to do…

Of course we hear about how some couples maintain their chemistry even after a long time and how for some, it dwindles away after a while. But then, chemistry is not just about balance.

We also hear of how one partner sacrifices for the other at times and that helps the two grow. Again, sacrifice must never be only about finding a balance.

And then there are anecdotes of how people accommodate to ensure longevity of the relationship. Again, it does help in getting to a balanced state but cannot be the only reason or outcome of the accommodation.

So, what is it then? As I thought more about this in subsequent days, I realised that the balancing force is not just about yin and yang. It’s as much about how the two come together to harness it.

The two individuals may be the best suited as a couple but if they cannot come together in moments of joy and sadness, in times that are difficult and easy, in places that are known and unknown, then they won’t be able to balance.

The two must not only come together but then join hands to harness the situation to their advantage. If and when they do, the forces balance each other and the outcome is one single, determined action. If and when they cannot or don’t, there is a fallout.

I am lucky to have found my counter-balancing force in my wife. She teaches me, supports me, and has my back. I believe, so do I. And that’s why it’s a strong relationship.

Hopefully, we can all find our balancing force, and if we have found one, stick around to see the magic happen!

The joy of meetings

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Not the ones at work. Well, they can be joyful too at times but aren’t my focus for today…

I mean the times we meet with old friends and how those moments bring us joy.

This weekend, as I spent time in between two office trips, I caught up with a few old friends.

I was meeting one of them after more than five years, so it was obviously nice meeting each other after so long.

And while I had met the other three more recently, they stay outside India and hence it isn’t possible for us to meet often, so I was glad I could make it happen.

Each of these meetings lasted for a couple of hours only but I received so much warmth and happiness from them that it felt like we had spent a lot of time together.

We didn’t do something specifically to have that fun. We didn’t need to. We just sat down, chatted about random topics, shared about our lives and what we have been up to, and enjoyed each other’s company.

It felt like old times because even though we met after a gap, our connection remains strong and there was genuine interest to meet.

There was also mutual appreciation of having taken the time and effort to meet up and we wanted to make the most of it. So, the chats were involved and personal, just like it should be with friends.

Earlier this year, I had met three other close friends after a while. And had similar observations and experience.

I guess it is because all of these were meetings with long time friends, and we genuinely wanted to meet, we took time to enjoy each other’s company. But I am sure that even if we meet frequently, that joy will still remain.

Because after all, long time friendships are what stand apart even in today’s hustle culture. And remind you of who you really are…

Toddler days…

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There is a child within all of us. I have heard it often but got reminded about it quite strongly this week…

The last time I had a toddler in my arms was when I spent time with my niece earlier this year. But as it was during my cousin’s wedding, those moments came and went, not completely registering themselves.

This week however the experience was more absolute. We had my brother-in-law and his family over for a few days. His younger son, all of fifteen months, was the center of attraction.

I was meeting him for the second time. The first one was for a short while and he hadn’t started walking then. This time however, he was raring to go.

Having adjusted to the surroundings quickly, he was on the lookout for fun. And I, eager to make friends with him, started playing along. The next three days, as he spent time with us, I grabbed a lot of opportunities to become a child again.

It was amazing. Doing things not worrying about how it looked. Talking in a childish accent or playing kids games with him felt normal. And liberating!

It reminded me of the days I spent with my daughter when she was younger. How I would spend time with her doing things which only made sense to the two of us. How we would find joy in little things, not worried about others in the world around us.

It also reminded me of my own early childhood days. I don’t remember a whole lot of those moments but whenever I hear anecdotes about my childhood, those days feature prominently. Perhaps a reflection of how the memories of early days of our kids get imprinted in our minds.

My daughter, observing the fun I was having, commented that she wished I could be so with her too now. Her feelings touched me deep inside and brought out my guilt.

That guilt prompted a number of discussions around the memories we had when she was younger. Leaving us all laughing and reliving those days.

While I was able to assure her that I was as playful with her as she was observing me being, I also realised that in the flow of life, I have probably become too drab with her generally.

Time for me to change then. She is all of ten, so I still have time to do a lot of fun things with her. And hopefully create many more fun memories for her and us to relive later in life…

Labour of Love…

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There are passion projects. And then there is labour of love.

Something that is not just pursued only because you’re passionate about it but also because you want to see it come to life in the best way possible!

This weekend, as we stepped into our own home, this feeling stuck with me.

We had been at it for the last three months. Countless discussions, innumerable iterations, and a few sleepless nights later, here we were. Standing on the front door, ready to enter after the rituals got over.

I looked at my wife. It was her labour of love.

She had given it her all. Despite a very busy schedule at work and the madness around our household.

She hadn’t complained once and had patiently kept at it. Selecting materials, finalising designs, negotiating prices, navigating deadlines, and maybe a few things I couldn’t notice!

Ready to enter the new abode, she was awash with a certain calmness and pride.

In getting past everything and in how the vision had come to life.

In acknowleding that her unwavering commitment to getting what she wanted for the place had somehow serendipitously been rewarded.

And in accepting the fact that it was finally over…

There are yet many things to accomplish, as we move in and settle down. But hopefully those will involve less efforts and commitment for the same satisfaction…

Disagreements…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Father and daughter disagreements are common in our home. There are quite a few petty things that we both don’t agree with each other on and argue about!

Like, how much time can one watch television. Or when is the right time to sleep. These are fun.

Then, there are the more serious ones. Like, how much should one eat. Or how much should be individual contributions to household chores.

And finally, there are the critical ones. Like, which colour combinations to wear or not. Or how much time can be spent outside home in play.

Which of these happen at what time of the day is a compeltely random phenomenon. It could be triggered by an event like getting back from school or getting back home after play. Or could be triggered while we are sitting together and spending time doing something…

Whenever we have one of these disagreements and an eventual argument, I think I am right but maybe my daughter has a point. My daughter thinks she is right but maybe there’s something I am stating that may be important. And both of us believe this completely.

During the peak of the argument, it seems like we may stick to our individual stance. However, most of the arguments end with one of us agreeing to the other’s point of view because we started with the belief that maybe the other person has a point of view that is right!

Sometimes those conclusions are reached amicably. Sometimes there is a struggle and after much pulls and pressures, one of us bows down. And then, there are a few times, when we agree to disagree and move on to deal with other stuff.

In either case, these disagreements rarely lead us to a place where we don’t talk to each other. Even when we agree to disagree, there’s reconciliation by way of hugs, kisses, or holding hands.

And while it doesn’t take us long to get into another disagreement, we rarely get into an argument about the same thing the same day. Unless, of course the trigger event recurs. Which is, quite possible!!

Eventually, these situations are making us tougher. To continue disagreeing with each other with respect for the other’s ideas. And with the tacit understanding that an argument is just that, an argument…