Stories

The Acknowledgement

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Mitul was staring in the dark. She had just finished the day and was lying down in her bed. The lights were switched off.

Apart from an eerie noise from a neighbouring electricity pole, there was nothing she could hear. After all, at 2 am in the morning, most people were asleep.

She tried to shut her eyes, forcing her mind to shut off. But it wouldn’t. Her thoughts weren’t in a mood to stop. After a few minutes, she gave up and opened up her eyes, staring in the dark and recounting the day.

It had all started post lunch at the office town hall two days ago. A small setup, Mitul’s startup was just taking its shape. And she had made it a ritual to address her entire team once a month.

This time too, she had gone prepared. She wanted to appraise the team about some recent wins and setbacks, and take in their feedback. But as the meeting began, a couple of them asked if they could first discuss about some personnel issues.

Mitul had readily agreed. What she heard for the next 45 minutes was various versions of how the team weren’t feeling motivated enough. How there were too many challenges and too few solutions. How things were broken and everyone was feeling overwhelmed fixing them.

Putting on her CEO face, she had listened to everyone patiently, without too much reflecting on her face. Her inner self was in a turmoil, though.

She shelved her plan to share any data with the team, thanked them for the feedback, and promised them to address these questions and concerns in a week.

As she came out, Mitul was shivering. It was as if her entire being was not in her control. She sat herself down at her desk and just continued with the motions for the day. Her mind was already running berserk!

After work that day, she went straight to the park. That’s what she used to do when she wasn’t able to control her mind. She ran ten full rounds to sweat out the angst. It wasn’t enough!

She then went back to her apartment, plonking herself on the couch to work through the problem. Over the next few hours, she alternated between pacing to and fro, standing and drawing at the whiteboard, or sitting down and thinking.

The next couple of days, this pattern continued. Through those two days, Mitul fought with her inner conflicts about what were the right things to fix. It was intense.

But it was she talking to herself. The others were oblivious to what was going on within her.

Now, with two days of sleepless nights, multiple coffees, and numerous rounds of self doubt, here she was, lying in her bed at 2 am. She silently acknowledged that she didn’t have enough answers and needed help.

That acknowledgement helped. She fell asleep and woke up only at 9 in the morning. Her mind was a bit calmer. She felt a bit better. As if, all the worries that she had harboured in the last 72 hours had gone away.

She took a long shower, ate something, and decided to take the day off. She got out of the house, and roamed around the city, soaking in some of her favourite spots.

Then, as she was walking back home in the evening, it occurred to Mitul. She was not alone. Her team was going through a lot, and if she wanted to solve the problems, it was best if she worked with them and jointly found a way out.

It was a revelation. She had always thought of her team as her close circle but somehow, she had not trusted them enough to work together and figure out solutions. It was as much their company as it was hers…

That night, Mitul slept well. She knew, she still had to find the answers. She was aware that the road ahead would be tough. But she also knew that she could depend on her team to work together for the answers. They were on the mission together!

Yes sir!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Mornings always were a time for self reflection for Krishna. It was his ‘me time’.

Today, he was flabbergasted. He had just remembered the most amusing introduction he had received from one of his team members in front of a client.

It had been more than a month but those words had remained with him. He went back to that day to replay the situation, for the umpteenth time.

However, as he was running through it, he realized that the mannerisms of his team member seemed forced. It was as if he was trying to get Krishna’s attention through those words and then agreeing with him during the entire conversation.

Krishna jumped out of his chair. He started pacing the room, trying to recall his recent interactions with this person. The pattern was quite clear.

He then recalled his interactions with other team members and found the same patterns repeating. Most of his team members were just agreeing with him all the time! And It had been going on for a while!

Krishna was an experienced senior VP and had been in the industry for a long time. He had moved to his current company and role about three years back and was clearly the person with the most amount of knowledge about his domain.

Naturally, in a new setup with a lot of youngsters, this had translated into everyone around him looking up to him. They knew that they could learn a lot from Krishna.

Coming from a traditional setup, Krishna was accustomed to hierarchy and respect. However, it was more due to the merit of the person than anything else.

Unknowingly though, in his current team, he had also fostered a sense within them where they defaulted to agreeing with him, rather than question him at times.

This had meant he was able to move faster with his decisions than usual. He had attributed it to his experience then but now he knew it was happening only because everyone thought he knew the best. And they had stopped applying their minds in front of him…

He had built a team of people who liked saying “yes sir”, than think critically on their own. It was a setup doomed for failure sooner than later.

Krishna knew he had to change this. It couldn’t go on any longer. Even if it meant he stepping back on some occasions and asking more of his team than what he thought they were capable of.

Thankfully, he had come to this realization soon enough, and on his own…

The meandering climb.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Aniket was panting. He was on a steep climb and was running out of breath.

He found a small rock that was protruding out, almost as if inviting him, to sit down. He took that offer.

It had been a relentless last couple of hours. Once he had reached the base of this summit, he was ecstatic. He had scaled three folds to get there.

And yet, as he looked back and then ahead, Aniket’s mind told him that he could do more. There was more power left in him to scale the next one.

Not one to ever stop for rest, he took up the challenge with aplomb. Stuffing a quick packed meal into his mouth, he gulped down some water, and took out the map to chart his course.

Aniket was ambitious. And he wanted to get to the top quickly. So, the most natural path was straight up!

He started out in zest but somewhere within the first hour itself, he could feel his legs weren’t strong enough. They needed some rest. He kept pushing though.

Then, after a while, his breathing started to give him problems. His heart rate monitor was constantly in the high zone. Eventually, when he saw the rock he was now resting on, his mind gave up and he settled down.

He was tired and soon felt asleep. After dozing for almost an hour, he woke up. As he saw around, for the first time, he noticed the beauty of the surroundings in all their might.

He had scaled many a peaks but had not seen this beauty anywhere. It was magical, paradise like. There was a light fog and the sun was peeping through the clouds, shining on some parts of the valley.

As Aniket looked around, he realised that it would be a big mistake if he just climbed up without absorbing all this nature around him. He still wanted to get to the top but his heart raced at the thought of walking through those beautiful narrow pathways he could see ahead of him.

He decided to change course. For the next couple of hours, he walked on those meandering pathways, touching the plants on the sides, enjoying spring water from the tiny streams, feeling the air around him.

It took him longer than it would have if he had climbed straight but he got to the top just before dusk. He saw the sun setting, soaking in the evening rays and their wonderful colours.

He was dead tired now but also very happy. He had listened to his heart and had gone through a new experience. Something, he would remember all his life. He slept peacefully that night.

The next morning, when he woke up, Aniket realised that what he had seen was a dream. He was in his apartment, lying next to his wife.

He lay there, staring at the ceiling and remembering the experience. And the lesson.

He could aim for the summit but that didn’t mean he had to climb straight up. There were different pathways, some of them richer than the straight climb, that he could take.

That meandering climb will take him longer but will be worth it…

Shape of You

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Juhi was sitting down at her desk. Perplexed.

She had just got out of a meeting with her boss. It was an important meeting because she wanted to flag certain risks and issues in the project she was overseeing.

She had been in the company for a while. After having graduated from a prestigious college in the capital, she had taken to her career like fish to water.

Having shown strong work ethics and commitment, the company had seen her potential and given her a couple of promotions and responsibilities. She was now a project leader.

Juhi knew that as a senior member, she had the onus of not only overseeing her team but also analyse how things were and if they were in the right direction.

Today’s discussion was exactly that. She trying to flag risks and issues she foresaw after her client pushed her back on certain details of the project, and which she believed ought to be addressed. She had discussed the situation with her mentor, and he had given her confirmation that she was on the right track.

So, she had walked in to the meeting with a lot of confidence. However, her boss wasn’t sure if there was merit in her position. He told her that he had seen some of these requests before and if the client wanted something so strongly, it was better to agree and move ahead.

After arguing for an hour on the relative merit of their respective positions, she knew that there was no point in continuing further, so she told her boss that she will think through what he had shared.

Once outside, she ambled toward her seat. She was perplexed because she knew her boss to be a tough nut but also mostly right. However, she read his reluctance to go against what the client was advising as fear of losing the project.

She didn’t know what she could do now. This was a first. Just then, a couple of her team members came up, and she decided to put off her thoughts. The rest of the day went by as usual, and she couldn’t find any time to delve deeper into her previous thoughts during the day.

Later in the night, as she lay down to sleep, her thoughts went back to her growing up years. During her high school days, she was in the Girls Scout, and was a regular at the camps.

In one such camp, she was a part of a group that had to play the role of an advanced party. During their descent from a hill, she had sensed danger and advised her group to take a different route. Although there was some reluctance, she hadn’t given up and instead used logical arguments through her map reading skills to convince her group.

Eventually, her sense had proven right, as there had been rain just the night before in a dangerous section of the descent and the original route had become very challenging for another party. She had been judged a high performer due to this contribution to her group’s success.

That single recollection gave Juhi confidence. She had been shaped by such experiences and she wasn’t going to let her gut be ruled out. She knew she was not wrong and her position merited caution. She decided she will push back.

The next couple of days, she spent time framing her thoughts. She consulted once more with her mentor about the approach being taken, and got a positive sign. She was all set.

She wrote a persuasive email to the client, copying his boss too. She also copied her boss and her team. In the email, she laid out her thoughts with initial hypothesis and requested everyone to consider both sides of the coin. She volunteered to run a detailed analysis of various possibilities, and accepted an independent review.

She half expected a push back again. But the way she had written it down, there wasn’t a single person who could turn down the request. They granted it to her to investigate.

A month later, she had the final report, reviewed and decided upon. Her hypothesis had proven right and the client had to back off the initial requests.

That evening, her boss congratulated her in front of her team, acknowledging how wrong he had been and how right Juhi had been.

She had shown her character during this challenge and it was indeed because of how she had been shaped…

Don’t let it be!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Ketan was sitting down in the balcony. Lost in his own thoughts.

His face was visibly unhappy and he was frowning every now and then. It appeared that he was alone.

At this age of his life, he was mostly homebound. That morning, his wife had gone to meet her friends and so he had no one to share the moment with.

Not that he didn’t like to go out. He went for his morning walks and for some other errands. But he didn’t like to go out during the busy hours, when everyone was rushing out.

He had lived his life and had retired to be in a peaceful state of mind. The last thing he wanted was to go out in the traffic when not in a good state of mind. So, he kept sitting and thinking.

About his kids, who were now in different cities and busy with their own lives. About his siblings, who had also retired in different towns and met only during some marriages or family functions. How there weren’t many friends around him.

This was the reason for his sadness. He was feeling lonely…

When he was working, he always thought he would have all the time in the world to do other things later on. Then, as he kept rising up the ladder, his life only became busier.

Before he could realise, he had lost touch with most folks from his home town. His friends. His extended family.

Then, when he retired, he had nowhere else to go. So, he remained in the place he had been in the last part of his working life. It was a good town, with warm people and some good friends. The only thing it lacked was folks from Ketan’s past.

As he sat in the balcony that day, he understood that the real reason for his sadness was that he was missing his old connections. After much brooding, he decided to change that.

He got up. Mustering courage, he called up his siblings. And promised to himself that he would talk to them more often.

Next, he called some of his old friends. They had a hearty laugh and he felt better. And he promised to himself that he would visit them at least once a year.

Lastly, he called his kids. He talked to them more often than everyone else, but told them that he would like to spend more time with them. They were obviously happy, and he promised to himself that he will book his tickets soon.

With all these promises made, he never realised it was evening. The bell rang. His wife was home.

He got up, opened the door, and before she could enter, hugged her tightly. For, she was there with him always, his constant companion! And he had promised to himself to take good care of her!

Lost in Translation

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Aamir was excited. It was his grandparent’s first visit to the US.

His parents had migrated to the US when he was six years old and he had grown up in the developed world.

They had travelled to India in the last five years only once, for a short trip. His grandparents had never been outside India and ran into some visa issues, which prevented them from coming over earlier.

As their arrival inched closer, his anticipation grew. He had some fond memories of spending his early years with them, while still in India. And while they had kept in touch through video calls, most of those conversations were for a few minutes only.

He planned for their trip with much anticipation. There were quite a few places he wanted to take them around to. And wanted them to meet his friends.

The day they landed, he made sure to finish all his homework and be ready for receiving them. When he first saw them, he ran over and hugged them. They were also elated to see him and held him close.

Over the next couple of days, as their jet lag veered off, Aamir got more time with them. He realised that while they were fine with talking in English for short sentences, they weren’t very comfortable.

He had barely used his mother tongue, Hindi, over the last few years! Even at home, his parents hadn’t bothered talking in Hindi and so, he had lost touch with the language.

This fact troubled him. It wasn’t just that he couldn’t talk to his grandparents fluently but also because most conversations had no meaning without either of them understanding the other well.

At first, Aamir withdrew into a shell. He deliberately avoided long chats, instead using short words or signals and head nods. It got him past most things and was the easier way out.

A week into the practice however, he realized that this wasn’t going to help him. It would also reduce the joy his grandparents would experience. Resolving to remedy the situation, he hit upon an idea.

The next day, as he woke up, he loaded a translation app and started using it to frame questions and replies for his chats with them. At first, it was awkward. But then, observing that his grandparents were visibly happier talking to him, he persisted.

He also requested them to help him with common words and phrases, and to teach him in his spare time. With the help of the app and his grandparents, things became much fluent and simple.

Over the next few weeks, as his grandparents’ trip progressed, Aamir executed his planned itinerary for them. He became their local guide and also took them around to meet with his friends, acting like a translator for those small chats.

By the time his grandparents left, Aamir had earned two things. Pride of his grandparents and a small vocabulary of Hindi words to use when needed…

Relieved.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Fatima was sitting down, holding the side of the bed. The same bed where her beloved husband of over forty years, Zafar was lying still, never to get up again.

She kept sitting in that position for a good hour or so. Re-living all the memories of their past.

Theirs was an arranged marriage. But they had fallen in love with each other soon after meeting for the first time, and then multiple times over those forty odd years. It was a match made in heaven!

Over the years, as they fulfilled their familial responsibilities, they had built a beautiful home for themselves. They had a daughter, married and happily settled close by in the same city. Their son-in-law was a gentleman, ensuring that he prioritized their well being in all cases.

They had grown old together and especially after Zafar’s retirement from the bank, had established a daily routine to spend more time together. Morning walks, long sittings over crossword puzzles and old film music, evening tea with friends from the neighbourhood, and their love for movies kept them busy. Their daughter and son-in-law would come over on the weekends and sometimes they would all go out for a meal. Life was going on in a fulfilling fashion.

Then, soon after his sixty-fifth birthday, Zafar started complaining of some headaches. He was a health conscious man, so without taking any risks, he consulted the doctors. And as unfortunate it could be for the family, he was diagnosed with an extremely rare condition which was causing tension in his brain’s blood vessels.

It wasn’t a very good sign and the doctors told him that he could either get operated or otherwise had little time left. The chances of success were low and they were non-commital about the after effects of the surgery.

Zafar had seen his father pass away after a prolonged cancer and knew that his case could end up with he being bed-ridden for the rest of his life. While the doctors were suggesting surgery, he also knew that post-surgery recovery would be prolonged and may not even happen. He didn’t want to be left in a vegetative state towards the end of his life.

He consulted another doctor in a different hospital and the findings were the same. The doctor confirmed that there was a low chance of success. He did tell him that in case the surgery doesn’t succeed, he could be much worse-off.

That evening, Zafar had sat Fatima down and explained to her the second opinion. She already knew about the health condition, so had started preparing herself mentally for anything. When Zafar told her that he had decided to let things play out naturally and not go for an uncertain surgery, she wasn’t surprised. After all, he had taken many unemotional but necessary calls during his lifetime and was doing the same at this juncture.

Their daughter and son-in-law did try to persuade Zafar otherwise but he saw no good reason to put the entire family through an ordeal no one understood, including the doctors. Convinced that he could not be moved, the family decided to make his remaining time as good as it could be.

The routines thus resumed. No one around him was told of his condition, so that they behaved normally with him. Only the family knew, and they kept it at the back of their mind, but without showing off their emotions, continued to live normally.

It was hard for Fatima. Knowing that she could soon be staring at life without him. She ensured that from that day onwards, she wouldn’t leave him for long. And over the next couple of years, she spent as much time as she could, soaking in all that she could with Zafar.

He had not shown much but she knew how painful those last few months had been. And how he had continued to live his life normally, ignoring it.

That day, as she got up after her afternoon siesta, she saw Zafar wasn’t moving. He lay still. She sat down beside him and checked. He was gone.

All those years of togetherness were over. He would be around no more. She would just have his memories to carry along.

She was crying. But it wasn’t just because she had lost him. It was also because he had been relieved! He had embraced death and death had come slowly, allowing her to hoard as many memories as she could have…

The hidden facade

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Varun loathed himself. Sitting in his cabin, he couldn’t wish the feeling away…

It had been a week of intense discussions. It was annual performance review time and being the head of department, he had quite a big team. As was the practice, he had to discuss his team’s performance and share their ratings individually.

When Varun had joined the corporate world, almost twenty years back, he had promised himself that he will bring his authentic self to work.

As years progressed, that was what he was known for too. Straight forward, always authentic in what he thinks and says. People liked him for that.

Then, as he hit the middle management layer, and decided to aim for the higher echelons, he suddenly realized that this value of his wasn’t much appreciated in the new circle.

They all talked about how he had to also be tactful and read the room before saying anything. How he must hold on to his feelings and not let them show on his face. And how it all mattered to the big bosses, how much in control he appeared when he did so.

Gradually, he became the person that he promised not to. Over the last couple of years, he had towed the management’s line. He had not been authentic at all times. And while, others may not have realized it, he did!

That week, as he went through his review meetings, he had realized that he was not being his authentic self more often than not.

In the eagerness to be seen as likable, he didn’t given the right feedback to a few of his team members. With a couple of others, he had been unnecessarily harsh, because he thought they wouldn’t fit in the right category in the management’s view.

That Friday, as he sat in his cabin, thinking through the week, he had nothing but loathe for himself. For how he had turned out to be this unauthentic, facetious person. He couldn’t believe this is what he had come to.

He kept staring at the wall in front of him for a long time, looking back at all these years of his work life and how his behavior had come to this.

Then, with a heavy heart, he got up and dragged himself home. That evening was a restless one for him, he couldn’t come to terms with himself.

His wife, who had known him even before he had started working, knew something was amiss. She sat him down and reasoned with him. She had already observed that he had let go of his authentic self, and had seen this coming.

She gave him courage to find the mistakes he had made in recent times and discussed openly with him on how he thought he could correct those. As those thoughts crystalized, Varun saw the fog lifting from his mind.

Monday, as soon as he got into the office, he invited those few team members he wanted to speak to. He met with them one by one, telling them that he had not been his authentic self and then sharing the real feedback he had for them.

That evening, as he walked out of the office, he came across a picture from one of his older albums his phone had surfaced. It was from the time when he had gone for his first rock climbing trip.

The picture was of him holding on to the grappling rope with fear on his face. It was of a time long gone by, but it was of that authentic Varun he had known for a long time. And who he had recalled today after a long time…

Winds of Change

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Arya was sitting down clutching herself. It had been a while she had gone out of the home.

Ever since she had moved to the new city, her will to move around had given way to a general reluctance.

Not that she had not tried. Soon after landing in the new place, she had gone out every evening, trying to meet people in the neighbourhood. She didn’t have any friends here and wanted to make a few.

However, owing to the gloomy and cold weather outside, most folks were staying inside those days. Even those who were found moving around, were preoccupied or rushing to get back into the comfort of their homes.

It seemed almost disrespectful to Arya to stop someone for small talk and intros then. So, she had kept exploring the surroundings. They weren’t promising either.

The area she had shifted to was slightly outside the city, in an upcoming suburb. The bustling shops that the city was known for hadn’t found a reason to set up in this corner.

Day after day, Arya kept going out for her evening walks. And coming back home chilled to the bone, without meeting anyone. It had been a month by then.

As if God was trying to test her further, the weather worsened the next few weeks. Only those who had to go for an important errand dared to venture out. Ordering stuff online and being in the comfort of one’s home was far more soothing.

Arya gave up. Although a part of her wanted to go out, the stronger part of her brain convinced her to stay indoors. Work had also started to pile up and she started spending countless hours in front of her laptop.

She had never been like this. In the previous city, she had lots of friends and a few cousins. So, her weekends were always busy. After all, that was the only time she got away from work.

She didn’t realize the slow creep until that Friday evening. She had just finished work and when she got up to have dinner, it stuck her that she hadn’t been out of the house for almost two months! And had nothing to look forward to over the weekend.

It got to her. Slowly at first but then rapidly overwhelming her and within a matter of minutes, she was sitting down on the floor, sobbing and clutching herself.

She remained in that state for almost an hour and the weariness of the effort got to her. Her body gave up, she lay down, cuddling on the floor, and went to sleep.

That evening, she had a strange dream. She was in the middle of a party, standing alone and watching everyone. It seemed all those strangers were enjoying the party and calling her to join. But she was frozen to her place. Then, someone came and touched her and those shackles broke. She spent the evening partying on her own with that crowd, in which she knew no one.

Arya woke up. It must have been an hour that she was lying like that but it seemed as if an era had passed.

She went to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face to get off the fatigue. As she looked into the mirror, she saw not her current self but the happy version she had been in her dream.

Startled, she looked closely at her reflection. It was the same Arya. But without a worry about whether she knew anyone or not, only focused on herself and her happiness.

The next few minutes were a blur. She changed, got her phone and wallet, and booked herself a taxi. In a jiffy, she was standing outside her house.

The taxi arrived. She sat down and just told the driver to take her around town over the next 3-4 hours. She didn’t know if she wanted to stop anywhere. If nothing appealed to her she would come back home.

Then, as the taxi started moving, she pulled down the window. The wind was strong but not very cold. As it hit her face, Arya smiled.

She had been missing the wind…

Nightmare

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Vivek was sweating in the middle of a cold night.

He had just had a nightmare. One that had woken him up with a knot in his stomach.

He had dreamt of being involved in an accident and the only one to have survived. The pain of losing his near ones was unbearable, even if in a dream.

Vivek’s heart couldn’t take it and he started weeping. Lying on his bed.

Amisha, sleeping next to her, heard some faint sobs and as she turned around, Vivek had sat up in his bed now. She knew something was wrong. She too got up and hugged him.

As a few minutes passed by, Vivek sobered up. And told Amisha about the nightmare.

Amisha was well aware that Vivek hadn’t seen his parents for a while. His busy work schedule didn’t permit any leaves. And while she had put up with his schedule due to the seasonal nature of work, she knew it wasn’t sustainable.

She had only one thought in her mind…

They slowly slept off, Vivek cuddled like a baby next to her.

The next day, once they both left for office, Amisha booked tickets for her in-laws to visit them for an extended period of time. She also booked a couple of trips with them, to ensure they were able to spend time together at leisure.

That Saturday, as Vivek got up, he saw Amisha wasn’t at home. She had left him a note mentioning she was out for some weekend errands and would be back only by the afternoon.

He lazed around for a bit and then got something to eat. Around noon, while he was still trying to figure out what to do, he heard the doorbell.

His parents were at the door. It was a surprise Vivek had not dreamt of.

He hugged them both, and saw Amisha standing behind, smiling silently. He hugged her too.

The nightmare had led to a beautiful reunion, unanticipated but most welcome…