The corner house had a large crowd gathered outside. There was sadness all around, and people were talking in hushed tones. Inside, there was a lot of movement with some well-wishers directing preparations for the funeral. 

Jatin, the owner of the house, had passed away last night. He was in his late 70s, having lived a good life. He had lived in the neighborhood for more than twenty years and was well-known as a gentleman. 

People gathered outside could hear someone wailing inside. Someone commented that his daughter, Sakshi, had just come from a nearby city and had rushed in, in a state of despair. There were more people expected in a couple of hours, including his son. 

Jatin had been living in the house with his wife, Meera. Meera hadn’t taken his demise well and was in a bad shape. The neighbours had to give her some glucose forcibly, in between the constant sobbing, to keep her from falling ill. She couldn’t accept the fact that he was no more. 

Their children had both moved out for their studies and had then taken up jobs in bigger cities. His daughter, the younger of the two, had moved to a nearby city and visited more frequently over the last year or so. His son stayed in Chennai and had not visited the paternal house for a while. 

It wasn’t as if Jatin was suffering from any ailment. He had been hale and hearty all through the last few months. He did have an occasional seasonal illness, but owing to his disciplined fitness regimen and his mild food habits, he had no major lifestyle disease. The demise occurred without an apparent reason. He had slept at night but never woke up. 

After an hour or so, his son, Sambhav, along with his wife, Yogita, came in as well. They had been ferried from the nearest airport, and Sambhav was dishevelled in his appearance. He nodded to some elders he recognized from the neighbourhood, while some others consoled him. 

Eventually, around noon, well-wishers and old friends completed all preparations, and Jatin’s body was taken to the funeral ground. Sambhav broke down while performing the last rites, and it took a while for him to stop crying and complete the process. 

As the body burned, most people paid their last respects to Jatin and moved on. Sambhav, his brother-in-law Gautam, and a few close friends remained until the end, watching as the last embers went out. 

With a heavy heart, they all came back home and prepared themselves for the next thirteen days. As per Hindu tradition, they wanted to ensure that they honoured all rituals and discussed what needed to be done. 

***

Sambhav’s Coming to Terms.

Over the course of the next thirteen days, Sambhav had to undertake many rituals. He was unaware of most, so he relied on his uncles and elders to guide him in these matters. There were a few of them who had stayed over, and that was helpful. 

Sambhav had been out of the home for more than twenty-five years. He had moved out while they still stayed in another part of the town. Only after his sister, Sakshi, had moved out for studies did Jatin and Meera undertake the construction of this house. 

Jatin had been working at a local firm and had moved to the town after getting married. Sambhav and Sakshi had been born in the local hospital. Their schooling had happened in the town. However, he had never bothered to build a house until later, because there was always so much to do. 

Eventually, he had purchased a plot of land in an upcoming area, laying down his intentions to stay in this town forever. So, after their children had moved out for college, the couple had built this home with all their hearts. They already knew some of their neighbours and had shifted in as one of the earlier members of the community. 

Sambhav had been home on numerous occasions in the first few years of his career and in the years immediately following their marriage. The frequency had reduced slowly as he and Yogita gained seniority in their workplaces, but Diwali was one festival that was always celebrated at home. Over the last couple of years, though, due to a higher workload, he couldn’t take leave and had to miss Diwali at home. 

On the third day, as he completed the rituals and sat down after having his lunch, he remembered the Diwali he had celebrated at home last. They had all eaten too much food all through the five days, and he had jokingly told Jatin, “Dad, you seem to be the only one unaffected by this food, thanks to your five-mile daily walk!” Jatin had laughed and nagged him to come along the next morning. Sambhav’s eyes were shedding tears. 

By the time the tenth day came, Sambhav had cried a few more times in solitude. He had never imagined that his dad, whom he looked up to, would be no more one day. His heart wasn’t ready to accept it, and whenever he thought about the older days, his eyes would get wet. 

Sambhav was level-headed, though, and knew he couldn’t reverse what had already happened. His entire focus was on ensuring everything got done as per his mom’s wishes and the advice of the elders. He took it upon himself to also look into the household’s financial matters and spent considerable time thinking through how to best structure the setup for his mom. 

He planned everything. After the thirteenth-day rituals, with only the core family remaining at home, he sat down with a known CA and worked through the papers to consolidate all his father’s holdings into a single account. He also ensured that his father’s demise was notified to the relevant authorities and that his accounts were transferred to his mother as the nominee. 

Alongside, he discussed the logistics with his sister, Sakshi. They decided to visit every few weeks to check in on their mom, who was reluctant to move out or travel immediately. They had also planned that, after six months, they would take her with them for a few weeks each, so that she would have a change of place. 

After another ten days, with everything in place, Sambhav and Yogita left for Chennai. He was sad to leave his mother behind, but he had to attend to his other duties. He couldn’t let go of the last image of his dad and the last video call they had, but he couldn’t take any more leave from work. 

As the days passed, he made peace with the fact that his father was no more, although he missed him a lot. 

***

Sakshi’s Remorse

Sakshi had stayed longer at home, a month after Sambhav had returned. Her son and husband went back, and her in-laws took care of their household while she was away. She wanted to ensure that she could comfort her mom for a little while longer. 

The news of the demise was something she had never dreamt of. Sakshi had been her father’s favorite and always got her way with him. She admired him for all that he had done, rising to the position of the firm’s General Manager. That inspiration had led her to her own professional journey as a lawyer. 

She had always gotten support from him for everything in her life. When she had come home during her penultimate year of pursuing LLB with the news that she had met and fallen in love with Gautam, Jatin had not blinked an eyelid in accepting it. His only words had been, “Finish off your studies, and if you both are still together, then we will get you settled”. She had kept her word, and he kept his. 

Ten years after marriage, just the last year, they had moved to a city that was only a couple of hours away. Sakshi was happy that she would now get to spend more time with her parents, especially her dad. She had made several weekend trips over the past year, always relishing the moments spent together. 

The morning she got the news, she couldn’t believe what she had heard. She handed the phone over to Gautam, who then reconfirmed the news. He had been very supportive throughout the two-hour journey, consoling her constantly. She had stopped sobbing when they reached home, ready to comfort her mom. But the moment she saw Jatin’s body and Meera’s eyes met her, she couldn’t control herself. 

She had cried so much over the course of the first three days that Gautam had to console her repeatedly. She held Sambhav in high regard, and after he had comforted her and asked her to show more strength on the third day, she had stopped crying. But her mind was stuck in the past. She couldn’t shake off the memories she had with her father, both as a child as well as when she had grown up. 

All through the thirteen days, she did not leave her mother’s side. She knew Meera was a strong woman, but this was a shock that she had not been ready for. So, she took personal care of her mom’s meals, sleep, and medications. She also ensured that visitors or relatives didn’t spend too much time grieving in front of Meera, to allow her room to recover. 

After the thirteen days, for the first time, Meera told her that she could take care of things herself and Sakshi need not worry so much. Relaxing a bit, Sakshi then spent the next few days arranging the house properly with her mom’s involvement. She also observed her mom silently, understanding that the outer resolve and calmness didn’t convey the turmoil inside her. Hence, she had decided to extend her stay, sending her son and Gautam back alone. 

Over the course of the next month, Sakshi often found herself sitting down with her mother and reminiscing about the old days. They would talk about some chapter of their life, some distant trip or an evening spent together. It was all to bring Jatin back to life from their memories. At night, though, Sakshi would lie down, unable to sleep, crying silently for her loss. 

After that month, she returned home, having set everything up for her mom. She was only a couple of hours away, so she could go in at any time. But even with the passage of time and the comfort of having things under control, she couldn’t shake off the sadness around her. It was as if an integral part of her life had gone. Forever.

Time passed, but that sadness remained. Every time she spoke to or met her mom, she would show up cheerful. But she knew what she was hiding…

***

Meera’s Grief

After Sakshi had also gone back to her place, Meera was left all alone. In the home that she and Jatin had built so lovingly. In a life during which she had spent fifty years with him. 

Jatin was her world. She had married him when she was twenty-five, and they had seen life’s ups and downs together. She had been a housewife, allowing him to take care of work while she raised the kids. They had generally lived a good life, without many worries. Jatin was a loving husband and always took good care of her. 

She was very pleased with the way her kids had turned out and established themselves in their lives. They were both happily married and had successful careers. She and Jatin loved going and staying with them for a few weeks, but always yearned to return to their home, where their life was. 

Meera was as socially active as Jatin and had a good group of friends in the town. She was always very hospitable and was known in her circle as the caretaker. Jatin appreciated this quality of hers and often took advantage by inviting his friends unannounced. He would tell her in the morning about someone coming for lunch, and knowing she would then get into a hyper-preparation mode, he would help her get things ready. This was his way of showing love towards her. 

He was always very fit, while she had mild blood pressure, owing to a hereditary condition from her father. So, his demise was a shock she wasn’t ready for. When she had woken up that morning, she saw him lying in peace. At first, she thought he was asleep and had gone through her morning routine. Until it was well past his usual waking-up time. It was then she had checked in on him, realizing his pulse had gone, and he was no more with her. 

Meera’s world had fallen apart that day. She couldn’t understand why something like this had happened. She had cried so much that she had fainted twice. It was only after Sakshi had arrived that she felt some strength. Sambhav’s presence had further calmed her that day. However, she had not come to terms with her loss. 

Over the next three days, she couldn’t eat or sleep. Some of the relatives had given her glucose in water, which had kept her going. But she was in deep pain. Of losing her companion. Then, after the third day, Sambhav and Sakshi had sat down with her and pleaded that she eat something. That had broken her trance a bit. 

Even then, through the next ten days, she felt her grief choking her. Every single person who came to pay his or her last respects reminded her that she had lost Jatin. She had borne that pain, knowing that he was gone while she had to live on. 

Slowly, Sambhav had left, and then Sakshi had too. They had ensured her life was comfortable, and she had all the resources she needed, including money. But what Meera’s heart clamored for was Jatin. She couldn’t see beyond him and yearned for his presence every single day. 

She had tried to engage her mind in other activities as she had before. In doing something around the house, in meeting her friends, in reading, or in some other mindless activities. But her world was never the same again. 

Every time Sakshi or Sambhav came over or talked to her on the phone, they could see her hollow eyes. Every time they requested her to engage herself more, to stop grieving so hard. But they couldn’t fathom what she had lost. And she couldn’t get over it.

***

Dead or Alive?

A year passed by. As is the ritual, the family gathered for the first death anniversary to complete the remaining rites. 

Sambhav had moved on and was busy in his life again. He had not forgotten his duty towards his mother, nor his new role as the senior male member of the family. However, he had accepted the fact that he would never see his father again, and life had to move on. 

He ensured that all the rites were conducted in a proper manner and took care of all the arrangements. Over the last year, he had come in six times, spending 3-4 days with his mom. During that time, he had remembered the old days, knowing that his mother missed his father badly. He had even requested her to come over to Chennai for a while, but she had refused. He hadn’t pressed the matter further. 

Sakshi was still remorseful. She had logically reconciled to the fact that her dad was gone. But she wasn’t able to accept it emotionally. She would often feel sad, and if it hadn’t been for Gautam, her life would have been very difficult. 

She had diligently paid weekend visits to her mom every month, spending time with Meera. She knew her mom had not recovered well and went to great lengths to comfort her, hiding her own sadness. She also knew that, irrespective of whatever she may say, Meera wouldn’t listen to her. She was in the habit of listening to only Jatin. 

Meera, though, still couldn’t accept that Jatin had been gone for a year. She knew that he was no more, but the acceptance wasn’t coming for her. She had spent the whole of last year remembering him, hoping they would have had more time. She had tried to get away from that feeling, but after a while, knowing she was stuck with it, she had stopped fighting it. She had embraced emptiness. 

That evening, after completing the rituals, as Meera, Sambhav, and Sakshi sat down, a fourth chair remained empty. Jatin would have been sitting there if he had been around. Sambhav knew he could never be there. Sakshi wished him to be there. Meera was sure he would come over any moment…