Behaviour

“Technified”

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

All of us have different mechanisms to cope with things we find difficult. While they may seem amusing to those who are at ease in those situations, there is an ingenuity involved in figuring out how to get by things that are not natural to you.

One such thing that most people have had to adapt to is using mobile phones. While for most of us born in the last fifty years it comes somewhat naturally, for many of the older folks as well as for not-so-regular users of tech, they have had to adapt to this now inseparable extension of self.

Over the last few years, I have seen people use their own mechanisms to effectively use mobile phones. Some have learnt the basics and take their own time to do other things, some others have used it as little as needed.

I have seen many people use their native language to make it easy to navigate the system. Others use dictation instead of typing long sentences while communicating. Many use it only as a phone.

I, having been a natural with tech, find some of those patterns amusing.

Like using google to help with basic tasks. Strangely, folks who can play all kinds of games on the touchscreen but aren’t as well versed with the other functions of the device.

Or like dictating instead of typing. For me, writing comes naturally. So even when I am conversing in long sentences, I prefer typing them. But for many folks around me, I am increasingly observing the use of dictation.

Then I saw some pretty slick users adapting to these new patterns as well. My wife using dictation to send long messages. One of my friends using google as it would have been faster than finding something buried in settings.

As I saw those same patterns repeated with relatively sophisticated users, I realised that they love these shortcuts or tricks because it works for them. That’s the bottom line.

We technologists may think of features and usage patterns in an absolutely purist sense, not realising that the world has all kinds of people and they have different kinds of needs.

Maybe that’s why most technology products fail. They only serve the selected few. Or are built for specific use cases.

Some of them do become runway hits. But only the ones who adapt to what the users want, stick around and become ubiquitous.

Perhaps, that is the lesson we need to consider when we think of how to solve problems. Would the solution be applicable for all kinds of users? Or is it only solving for a niche or edge case?

Worth pondering how technified we are and how technified are those who we are catering to…

Yes sir!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Mornings always were a time for self reflection for Krishna. It was his ‘me time’.

Today, he was flabbergasted. He had just remembered the most amusing introduction he had received from one of his team members in front of a client.

It had been more than a month but those words had remained with him. He went back to that day to replay the situation, for the umpteenth time.

However, as he was running through it, he realized that the mannerisms of his team member seemed forced. It was as if he was trying to get Krishna’s attention through those words and then agreeing with him during the entire conversation.

Krishna jumped out of his chair. He started pacing the room, trying to recall his recent interactions with this person. The pattern was quite clear.

He then recalled his interactions with other team members and found the same patterns repeating. Most of his team members were just agreeing with him all the time! And It had been going on for a while!

Krishna was an experienced senior VP and had been in the industry for a long time. He had moved to his current company and role about three years back and was clearly the person with the most amount of knowledge about his domain.

Naturally, in a new setup with a lot of youngsters, this had translated into everyone around him looking up to him. They knew that they could learn a lot from Krishna.

Coming from a traditional setup, Krishna was accustomed to hierarchy and respect. However, it was more due to the merit of the person than anything else.

Unknowingly though, in his current team, he had also fostered a sense within them where they defaulted to agreeing with him, rather than question him at times.

This had meant he was able to move faster with his decisions than usual. He had attributed it to his experience then but now he knew it was happening only because everyone thought he knew the best. And they had stopped applying their minds in front of him…

He had built a team of people who liked saying “yes sir”, than think critically on their own. It was a setup doomed for failure sooner than later.

Krishna knew he had to change this. It couldn’t go on any longer. Even if it meant he stepping back on some occasions and asking more of his team than what he thought they were capable of.

Thankfully, he had come to this realization soon enough, and on his own…

Backseat Driving

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s surprisingly vicarious! Does it help, though?

I have been driving around for all my adult life. As soon as I turned 18, with the help of my dad, I learnt to drive a car.

It was fascinating. To drive around and control a machine as sophisticated as a car. Something more than 2 wheels.

With time, I became more and more adept at it. I drove for long stretches and started appreciating the mechanics of good driving vs bad.

Over the years, this skill has only honed, what with the massive increase in the magnitude of traffic in Bangalore.

However, owing to family’s (read my wife’s) suggestion, we now also have a driver. For everyday commutes to our offices and other errands.

It is actually relaxing to not grapple with traffic every day during the rush hour. It’s also frustrating, with the natural tendencies I have as a driver.

Often times, when I am not caught up in my thoughts or doing something else, my eyes are on the road and judging how the driver is driving. Many a times, I offer him suggestions from the backseat.

Surely, not a great way to delegate work. Poor chap, he takes it mostly without any objection. Perhaps, he doesn’t want to show his displeasure at my behaviour?

Having noticed this for a while, I am actively trying to curb it. Letting him drive, focusing on utilizing my time sitting idle.

But it’s not easy. I have to make an effort. Trusting him to do his job. Well. Not offering any suggestions until asked for guidance.

And when there’s an urge, learning to suppress it for the sake of my own peace of mind. Instead, observing and learning from what others around me do, so that I can do better when I am behind the wheel.

But old habits die hard. Today morning, tossing the keys to my wife, as I sat besides her, I resolved not to do much.

As you can guess, five minutes into the drive, I had heard a couple of stern warnings to be a good passenger…

The “Me” Question

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

How would you describe yourself to someone?

This isn’t a self cantered question that I am asking of myself. It is a deeper reflection on how we come across as an individual to others.

We start in the unbridled, unhindered category. We are ecstatic to begin communicating while growing up and use any and every opportunity to make ourselves felt.

Right from our young age, we strive to talk and share. And we do so without any filters, without worrying about how we come across, and what’s our audience. It also helps that most folks we talk to in that age are close family and friends, not someone we want to hide from.

Then, as we start growing up, we realise that there are times when hiding our true feelings or being vague is beneficial for us. We do it a few times. Still, we are our authentic selves.

We pride being with like minded people, having friends who care for us, and a family that dotes on us. This all gives us confidence to continue speaking true and right.

However, this touch gets lost as our adulthood advances. We become more and more careful about what we want to reveal or hide. We use facades where necessary, whether professionally or personally.

And this removes us from the reality quite a bit. It also doesn’t help that most people we are surrounded by are acquaintances who we don’t know well or don’t trust enough.

We remain the same authentic self in front of our childhood friends or family but those are only a few days or moments. The heavy tilt towards our alter egos takes a toll on us. We begin to push the envelope on what’s real vs what’s made up about ourselves even with those who we know well.

Soon, the only difference that remains between the true self and the alter ego is what we retain in our heart. And that too contracts as time passes by.

By then our children are growing up and keenly observing us. We would have had the opportunity to pass on a more authentic outlook to them but we are too far down the road to do that now.

They too observe and learn how to not be authentic when it’s to one’s liking or advantage. Just like we did from our parents when we were teenagers. And the cycle repeats…

What if we decided to be true to ourselves and leave our facades behind? How would that change our and our children’s future choices and outcomes?

Maybe the fork in the road is now. Better late than never…

I am however, still grappling with this question even though the benefits are quite clear!

Hoarders!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We are all hoarders. In the literal sense of the word.

Each one of us hoards something – for some it is their feelings, for some it is money, and for some it is random stuff. There may be other things too that a section may specialize in hoarding but am not going to dwell on that.

This week, as I spent some time introspecting, this question occurred to me – what does hoarding do to us and what it doesn’t? Is it helpful or is it not?

Well, I am someone who hoards feelings. I like to keep my feelings to myself. Not because I cannot let them out but because I don’t believe in sharing them at random. It may be a bane but that’s how I am built. Emotional and sensitive.

I realize that this hoarding doesn’t help me always. In fact, there was a time in my life, when things were only going downhill, when this hoarding led to major explosions within me and affected many a close people around me. It made me unnaturally aggressive and pushed me to spiral negatively. Until, I chose to just let it all go out of my system.

Since then, I have tried to keep the hoarding to the minimum. Not that it doesn’t happen now. But I try and share things more, with people who matter to me or those who I know will be amenable to hearing me out. It has helped me to not bottle up things within and maintain my balance, also ensuring I keep my sane perspective.

Some folks I know are hoarders of money. It isn’t a bad thing, in fact it is a virtue. They are able to control their impulses and not get influenced to part with their money. They generally think deeply through their head and weigh every decision in terms of the monetary angle.

While this may be prudent, in most such cases, I have also seen them taking decisions which are not conducive to their own personal health. They either go ultra hard on hoarding, thereby becoming stingy with the other things that matter in leading a good, comfortable life. Or they push away other people from them by this behavior. Ultimately, they have money but most times, not the affection of others.

I have never been a hoarder of money but often times when I come across such folks, I do try and understand their perspective about money. Because, irrespective of what I just said earlier, their discipline is commendable. And they have taught me a thing or two about being financially prudent. Thanks to them, I have developed better habits around saving money and keeping track of it.

Then, there are people I have come across who hoard things. They like to preserve and keep things for long. Even if the value or utility of that thing has long expired.

Of all vices, I think this is the most harmless. After all, you are hoarding stuff you have used at some point of time. The only downside being, if it turns into an obsession and prevents one from appreciating and using new things. For, only when we peruse the new is when we learn and grow.

The ones who hoard stuff, do so because it is not natural to them to throw away things. Sometimes it is driven by the sentimental value of that stuff, sometimes by the practical desire of using it for some other purpose, or sometimes just impulsively to avoid wastage. The thing I have learnt from them is to value things, no matter old or new – as long as it is useful to me or someone else.

As you can see from my musings above, I haven’t reached a particular conclusion here. What I did realize though is that sometimes even a term with a negative connotation could provide us insights on how to or not to do things.

Like with most things negative – there is always a positive lesson – both for the person who experienced/did it and for the observers…

Hopefully, I didn’t hoard any other insights and shared what I learnt here!

Strong and Weak

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Strength is always considered a virtue and weakness a thing to be avoided. But what if we have been thinking all wrong?

1

When I was undergoing training at the Indian Military Academy, we went through the toughest of routines in our initial days. It was a routine that’s usually the case for most armies but not normal for civilians.

So, naturally it took us time to adjust our bearings or even consider it as possible. A lot of us cribbed about it in those initial days. Most of us got used to it in a month or so but a few who couldn’t left.

We thought of ourselves as stronger than them and much more worthy! Naively…

2

All of us tennis fans had a tear in our eye when we watched Federer for the last time and the way it all happened.

However, someone completely clueless about tennis, who saw just a picture of Federer crying in a post match interview after losing (not his last one but some of the earlier ones), may think of him as a sore loser.

Not knowing that here stands a once in a lifetime champion, who’s crying not because he lost but because of the love and support he had received from the crowd and how he felt about it. He was just letting his emotions show.

How wrong would that assumption be about the strength that Federer, or for that matter any other champion, carries within him…

3

Travelling in the Nilgiris mountain ranges yesterday, I was telling my daughter about how people live in these places. How they build their dwellings and carry on with their usual life

I also told her about the big mighty mountains – how they appear so strong and capable of supporting so much. And yet, with so much pressure on them to support the tourism economy, they are also fragile.

My daughter couldn’t grasp initially that the mountains could be weak but as we discussed more and I related it to the environment, she could begin to understand how they could get affected.

An aspect most of us adults know but ignore – that while the environments around us are strong today, if not cared for, could turn weak and wither away!

—

These seemingly unconnected threads ran through my mind over the last couple of days, as I let it wander into free space. But as I looked back, I realised that all of them had one connection.

An assumption about strength and weakness that reflects our usual worldview but isn’t correct. It leads us to behaviours or thoughts which are not the best aligned with the situation or with the people involved.

And yet, knowingly sometimes, we commit this same mistake again and again in different contexts…