Carefree

The “Me” Question

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

How would you describe yourself to someone?

This isn’t a self cantered question that I am asking of myself. It is a deeper reflection on how we come across as an individual to others.

We start in the unbridled, unhindered category. We are ecstatic to begin communicating while growing up and use any and every opportunity to make ourselves felt.

Right from our young age, we strive to talk and share. And we do so without any filters, without worrying about how we come across, and what’s our audience. It also helps that most folks we talk to in that age are close family and friends, not someone we want to hide from.

Then, as we start growing up, we realise that there are times when hiding our true feelings or being vague is beneficial for us. We do it a few times. Still, we are our authentic selves.

We pride being with like minded people, having friends who care for us, and a family that dotes on us. This all gives us confidence to continue speaking true and right.

However, this touch gets lost as our adulthood advances. We become more and more careful about what we want to reveal or hide. We use facades where necessary, whether professionally or personally.

And this removes us from the reality quite a bit. It also doesn’t help that most people we are surrounded by are acquaintances who we don’t know well or don’t trust enough.

We remain the same authentic self in front of our childhood friends or family but those are only a few days or moments. The heavy tilt towards our alter egos takes a toll on us. We begin to push the envelope on what’s real vs what’s made up about ourselves even with those who we know well.

Soon, the only difference that remains between the true self and the alter ego is what we retain in our heart. And that too contracts as time passes by.

By then our children are growing up and keenly observing us. We would have had the opportunity to pass on a more authentic outlook to them but we are too far down the road to do that now.

They too observe and learn how to not be authentic when it’s to one’s liking or advantage. Just like we did from our parents when we were teenagers. And the cycle repeats…

What if we decided to be true to ourselves and leave our facades behind? How would that change our and our children’s future choices and outcomes?

Maybe the fork in the road is now. Better late than never…

I am however, still grappling with this question even though the benefits are quite clear!

Music and Life

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have had affinity for music right from my early years.

As I grew up, there was always some deal of music around. My uncle used to be part of a local band and practised quite often at home. One of my cousins was an excellent singer and later on, made quite a name for herself in Kenya. There was also my Mom’s uncle, who revelled in singing and whenever we went to my maternal grandparents house, used to regale us with his voice.

And then there was of course the music blaring through tape recorders, radio sets, and Walkmans.

Oh yes, that was the era of the Walkmans. Those ubiquitous cassette holding music players, which all the cool kids and music aficionados used to carry.

I remember, I got a Walkman of my own when I was in high school. And I was in love with it, playing those recorded cassettes bought from the local music library guy. The day it malfunctioned and stopped working was a sad day.

But I got another one soon enough, by literally pestering my father. He never denied us the good things in life when we were growing up, never does so even now when we have all grown up!! 🙂

So, the brand new top-of-the-line Walkman with excellent headphones became my new companion. In the ensuing days, as I travelled quite a bit by train to different places, the Walkman made those journeys a breeze.

As the years passed, the Walkman faded away and was replaced by the iPod. And that was even more fun. As Jobs claimed, a thousand songs in my pocket literally meant a never ending stream of the choicest music I wanted to hear. It was an immersive experience.

I remember an occasion when I was singing aloud so long with the song playing on the Walkman, that other co-passengers started looking at me strangely and I realised it only after a couple of minutes. Or the one when I was standing at the door in the night (I could never sleep in trains at night) and singing along, when the ticket inspector mistook me for a person who frequently used to travel without ticket and it took me some convincing to get back to my seat.

Over the years, as life has become faster and faster, and the phone has taken over and became the all-in-one device, I have realised that the enjoyment that I derived from listening to music has diminished. Perhaps it’s because of the multiple things that I do on the phone all the time that take my attention away. Or it’s probably just that my mind is so occupied now.

Every once in a while though, there are those moments, when I just switch on the music and let my mind wander with the tune and let time fly by without a worry on my mind. And in those moments, I recollect the nights spent listening to music and how it transported me to my dreams and gave me wings.

A powerful ally and a wonderful friend. Hope I get to spend more time with you in years to come…

Game on…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There we were – me along with my cousins playing a game of Ludo – the popular board game. Past 12 in the night, rolling the virtual dice and passing comments and smileys…

As the lockdown has continued and disrupted quite a few aspects of life, it has encouraged virtual ways of doing the many things that we are regulars at or at least enthusiastic about. Talking to group of friends and relatives on video calls, having virtual parties and get-togethers, to now playing the many available games online with family and friends.

What takes the cake for me though is the virtual gaming scene. One of my friends mentioned it is like an unstoppable habit – once you log in and play with people whom you know, you tend to enjoy more and play more. And why not? In times when most people are stuck at homes, games are a good way of socialising.

In fact, one of the prime pass-times for us as children used to be board and card games. I remember spending hours together on carrom, chess, monopoly, and card games during my summer holidays. Even now when we get together, most cousins enjoy playing a few games together. It is a special kind of bonding, unspeakable in words.

Of course, multiplayer games aren’t a new phenomenon or a complete substitute for playing when being physically present with each other. But with the current situation, I feel they have lent a new dimension to having fun. And some of the simpler ones are actually a bigger draw – for the mere fact that you are playing more to rekindle the feeling of the days gone by and to celebrate being together than the actual game.

As that game of Ludo came to an end with me losing and cursing my luck, what I really wished for was to have one more round to have more fun with my cousins. Although I could play only a couple of games before my phone gave way and work prevented me from participating in more matches today, in that one hour I lived life the way it is supposed to be – happy and blissful. And that’s what counts.

Let the games begin!!!

Cherished Childhood Memories

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Childhood memories are always special.

The other day, I was on my way to office in a cab and to pass time, decided to watch a couple of videos on YouTube. Don’t know what triggered the video in my feed, but I was watching a satirical take on Super Mario, the video game superhero.

As I watched it, I was smiling from one end to the other. Amused, I forwarded to some of my friends and groups and downloaded it as well. And then I remembered it again today morning and rewatched it along with my daughter.

Well, playing video games used to be a lot of fun and a time to cherish for us kids. However, it wasn’t allowed usually and only during summer vacations did we get a free run.

In fact, summers used to be the time when you could do anything – sleep till late, read tons of comics, play board/card/video games, have ice cream and soda, and on and on. So naturally, all of us cousins used to look forward to gang up during these vacations.

As I grew up, a few video game parlours mushroomed and we friends used to visit those game zones, parting with our precious savings for an hour of play, competing with each other, learning precious life lessons and enjoying together.

As time passed by, all of us grew up and went on our own paths. We catch up every now and then, when work travel takes us to each other’s place or when a wedding or function in the family comes along. And each time we meet, we end up cherishing all those memories of time spent together.

The video brought back a flood of all those memories and reminded me of not only playing the video game but also of the time spent with all my cousins and friends. What a wonderful childhood it was!!!

I Don’t Know it All…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I had a dream. I knew nothing about what was happening. I was clueless about my surroundings. And I was blissfully unaware of the people around me.

Yet, in some strange way I felt wonderful. I didn’t know it all!

In my daily life, I have often come across people claiming to know it all. And then most of us pretend to know it all. And act as if we are the authority on any given subject.

Now I am not an expert on people’s behaviour or anything related to psychology. I am guessing this is how most of us are programmed in our society.

If you don’t know something you are considered ignorant. If you don’t get involved, you are considered cold. If you stay away, you are termed arrogant.

And so everyone is a know-it-all.

But then, what about genuinely not knowing stuff?

I don’t know a lot of things a lot of times. And I have started accepting it. I deliberately take a step back and leave it to the others, who are experts at it, to accomplish what I can’t.

And it has simplified my life!

Having the understanding deep within that I don’t have to do everything makes me feel lighter. It helps me to declutter my mind and focus on the few things which I am good at. Or what I can reasonably accomplish.

I feel if I can do even a bit of what I want to accomplish, I will feel good. So, hopefully this new strategy will pay off and I will accomplish more.

Alas, peeping into the future is not my speciality!

The Child in Us! The secret to business success…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

All of us were children once! Some of us still are.

I just told you one of the secrets of being successful in business and entrepreneurship!

What is it about being child-like that prompts success when starting and running a business. I have been thinking about this topic for sometime and decided to pen down my thoughts today. 

We start our lives as a care-free, ignorant child. Lost in our own world. Oblivious to what’s happening around us or in the world. Blissfully unaware of our surroundings. The only thing that matters to us during those days is NOTHING!!! 

And then we start growing up. We slowly learn things and become aware about what’s happening around us. We start recognising people and pick up their habits and mannerisms. Ignorance is lost and that’s the first blow! 

We grow up more and enter the education world keen to make friends and play. We learn a lot in the process and become aware of what’s happening in the world. As a result, we start forming opinions and deciding our boundaries and limitations. Blow no. 2! 

We enter teenage and are often rebellious. We want to do things the other way. But then, that’s not how you do things honey! And we are stopped in our tracks to try out new things. ‘You can’t do that’, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, ‘I hope you get back to doing something better’, and the quintessential ‘What will people say’ are statements that we hear. And we lose our enthusiasm for trying out. No. 3! 

And then we finally enter the work sphere in our lives. And all our remaining hopes get quashed. We have to function as per the defined processes. We have to stay within our limits and not try new things. We must follow orders and stick to the protocol. Gone is our last remaining ounce of child-like thoughts by this latest blow.

That perhaps explains why a lot of people desire to do something of their own but can’t muster enough courage to try it out. The fear of failure and rebuttal dissuaded them. Something which was absent when they were a child!

Successful entrepreneurs on the other hand keep that inner child alive and kicking and come out triumphant on the other side of life to start a business. They nurture their inner child and grow in between the Nay-sayers and doubting Thomases. They don’t care if they fail or succeed, it just matters that they do what their heart and mind wishes for. And they know, even if they fail, it will be great learning and they will live on to fight another day.

The world looks at them in awe! But it was just the inner child that they kept on nurturing and enthusing all this while to succeed and live the life of freedom and dreams…