Cousins

The life she wanted!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The girl was having the time of her life. With her cousins on a trip, she was enjoying every moment she lived…

They had been on a trip for 3 weeks now and as the time to go back came nearer, she was dreading going back to the usual grind.

Being a sole child, she didn’t have many people at home. Her parents doted on her and did all they could to give her company and she liked being with them. But she enjoyed her time with friends more.

She had a few cousins as well. But she didn’t meet them as often and whenever they met, it was only for a few days. Never enough.

Then, a few months back, she heard from her dad about the trip to meet with her cousins and a chance to spend a month with them. Her excitement knew no bounds.

She spent the next couple of months planning the details on her own and then subsequently with her cousins. She discussed about those plans umpteen no. of times with her parents as well.

They could see the eagerness in their daughter to be in the company of other kids. While spending time around their extended family, they further noticed that she was in a different orbit.

As the clock wound down and the day of departure approached, both the parents realised that it was this life that their daughter was missing. They started thinking about how they could give her more such experiences.

The next day, as they woke up, they were in for a surprise though. On their bedside, was a card. It was from their daughter.

She had expressed how much she had enjoyed this trip and thanked them for it. She acknowledged it wasn’t always possible for them to take such long breaks always.

But what if she could be given permission to do so by herself? If her aunt/uncle were ok, she could come by or invite her cousins and spend her holidays with them.

The little one had grown up. And she was asking for a life that she always wanted. Days filled with fun and frolic with cousins and the extended family…

How could they say no!!!

“Cousins”

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The last week was amazing. We spent some quality time together with cousins in Florida and had a lot of fun.

It also got me thinking about how we have evolved as a family unit over the last few years. And I am only referring to the Indian society here…

During my childhood, most of my time was spent with my cousins. Specially the summer vacations and most big festivals. It always used to be a big get-together and the definition of partying was to have loads of fun at home.

Every summer vacation I used to be excited to meet my cousins, spending time playing games, getting to know what’s happening in their life. That helped us forge stronger bonds. We used to plan ahead for the next trip and feel part of an extended family. And while we usually met only once a year, it was a special feeling to have brothers and sisters beyond the siblings.

They may be older or younger but they were cool friends. Someone whom you could share secrets with. Someone who you could hang out with through the night talking about random things. Someone whom you could go to movies with.

As I think back to our parents’ time, with many more children in the household (an average of 4-5 used to the norm I believe), they would have had a much bigger extended family and therefore more fun in their life. This shows, as even now, they are closely connected with most of their cousins and extended families.

In contrast, our generation has regressed a little in this regard. That is what it seems like based on my own assessment. We have gotten busier in life and more drawn into its vagaries. We still enjoy being with our cousins and look forward to such occasions but we don’t get as many opportunities as before. And we let it be, rather than making efforts to be more plugged in to the extended family.

With our children, this is however becoming a bigger concern. My daughter has not met a few of her cousins till date and she is only close to a few of them, countable by hand. While she is only seven and there’s ample opportunity for her to get to know and become close to the others, it definitely requires an effort.

I view it as my fault as a parent that I haven’t been able to provide her with the same experience that I had. Not for the want of intent though but wholly attributable to the busy lives we lead. I haven’t pushed myself enough to make time to visit other cousins and spend time with them over the past few years.

And while we all have friends and she also has / will have them as she grows up, I hope I am able to provide her with enough chances to know and build strong bonds with her cousins. Not only for fun but also as a source of strength and support around her…

Family

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

This weekend, I spent some great time with my cousins and close family while one of our sisters got married. It was a reminder about the power of small yet beautiful.

Keeping with the times, it was a gathering of about 40 people. We were all cocooned in a cosy resort for 3 days while trying to maintain pandemic protocols amid the wedding functions.

Initially, we weren’t sure about how the entire arrangement would come through. And if it would be as much fun as it is when a bigger gathering ensues. But as we checked in and the 3 days passed, the experience grew on us.

These 3 days taught me an important aspect of how we function as a family and how quality outweighs quantity in terms of time.

For one, while the scale of functions or the amount of craziness associated with big Indian weddings was missing, we got to spend more time having fun with each other. With limited people in attendance, functions got over faster, leaving us with ample time to fool around, catch up with each other, and spend quality time together.

And with the arrangements being taken care of beforehand by the amazing groom, we had less to worry and more to enjoy. It was like a 3-day holiday for us, looking our best, enjoying with family and friends, and having some good food and fun together.

Another important aspect was the opportunity we got to know people on the other side, which at times remains perfunctory and limited, owing to the constant flux of functions one after the other. With more time on hand, we talked to others, made new friends, and added to our fun factor.

While the size may have been smaller, the coming together of the immediate families and time spent in the 3 days was a reminder of the value the extended families have in the growing nuclear family scenario and how that support system is absolutely critical to have enriched experiences.

Even if not on account of marriages, such get togethers act like a good dose of life and are perhaps more required now, when we are all so caught up in our daily individual routines.

As we all bid our goodbyes to each other and headed to our respective homes, the aftertaste and fun moments continued to linger on through the journey back home and brought a smile every now and then to my face.

On to the next such get-together then, hopefully in better times!

Cherished Childhood Memories

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Childhood memories are always special.

The other day, I was on my way to office in a cab and to pass time, decided to watch a couple of videos on YouTube. Don’t know what triggered the video in my feed, but I was watching a satirical take on Super Mario, the video game superhero.

As I watched it, I was smiling from one end to the other. Amused, I forwarded to some of my friends and groups and downloaded it as well. And then I remembered it again today morning and rewatched it along with my daughter.

Well, playing video games used to be a lot of fun and a time to cherish for us kids. However, it wasn’t allowed usually and only during summer vacations did we get a free run.

In fact, summers used to be the time when you could do anything – sleep till late, read tons of comics, play board/card/video games, have ice cream and soda, and on and on. So naturally, all of us cousins used to look forward to gang up during these vacations.

As I grew up, a few video game parlours mushroomed and we friends used to visit those game zones, parting with our precious savings for an hour of play, competing with each other, learning precious life lessons and enjoying together.

As time passed by, all of us grew up and went on our own paths. We catch up every now and then, when work travel takes us to each other’s place or when a wedding or function in the family comes along. And each time we meet, we end up cherishing all those memories of time spent together.

The video brought back a flood of all those memories and reminded me of not only playing the video game but also of the time spent with all my cousins and friends. What a wonderful childhood it was!!!