Experiences

Reliving a lived experience.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are moments in life which we relish and often remember. In the hope that we could relive them again or at least feel the same way again.

And then there are experiences which shape us. They may not necessarily be in the earlier category but are important to us as an individual.

This last week, I had an opportunity to relive a lived experience, one that fundamentally shaped me.

It was a visit to the Indian Military Academy, which I graduated from more than two decades ago. Those were the most formative years in my life, joining the Academy as an eighteen year old.

Thanks to a course mate, who was able to get a tour arranged, I visited the institution along with my family. As the assigned staff member took us around, I recounted some of my experiences to my wife and our daughter.

It was poignant to walk the same corridors once again. Now as a civilian, but with the same proud feeling of being able to walk there.

It was nostalgic to visit the rooms and stand in the same place I spent countless days in. And feel a little bit of what I went through in those days.

It was reliving memories filled with bitter sweet moments as I saw other parts of the academy. The playgrounds, the practice areas, the places I used to go past every day.

It was a reminder of how much things have evolved. The staff member was kind enough to detail how many things had changed from those days to now, and we compared them with what we used to do. They ought to be, in two decades.

It was fun to recall some of my experiences and share them with my family, as we zipped past some of the best and worst memories of the days lived there.

Finally, as we completed the tour and bid farewell to the staff member, driving out on the main road, I felt a tinge of sadness within myself. For the entire tour had ended in a couple of hours and my journey of reliving the lived experiences had ended.

I was overwhelmed thinking about how much time had passed since those days. At the same time, I was thankful that I got this opportunity.

Enough for me to carry fresh impressions of my days spent in that place so many years ago…

Immersive Experiences

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Some happen by chance. But most happen by design!

This weekend, I watched a movie that I was completely immersed in.

As I emerged out of the movie hall, I was trying to figure out what made the movie tick for me. And why the long length didn’t bother me as much.

As I thought about the overall experience and my connection with the movie, I realised that I felt it was immersive because at no point did the storytelling slack.

Then, as I compared it with some of the best books I have read, it occurred to me that those also had a style of storytelling that felt as if I was transported into that world. And within that experience, it was as if I was living it.

In fact, most of such immersive experiences are designed in a manner that the storytelling draws the listener or audience in, hooking them into the narrative, making them as a part of the story.

Having started my experiments with writing over the last six years, I must admit that it is very hard to do. On my best days also, weaving the tale together to make it compelling is an extremely difficult task.

Naturally, there are very few of these experiences that immerse us completely. But the ones that do, leave us with a sense of wonder and concern. Wonder about how it all panned out and concern about the characters.

That’s why I feel that storytelling is about the characters and how their interconnections are explored and structured!

What I am sure of though, is that the immersion is an outcome of design. And the design is always in the hands of the creator…

Experience counts.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

How often do we disregard experience and consider that it is not really important? Or take it for granted in a lot of things?

This week, as I was working to get some brand-new IKEA furniture assembled, I realised the power of experience.

As it so happened, we had bought a new table that I wanted to fix. Given that a carpenter was working on some other furniture in our house, I asked him for help.

He was a thorough hand with a lot of experience under his belt. I, on the other hand, being an inexperienced fellow in that field, wanted to exactly go by the book.

So, I opened the IKEA manual and started referring to detailed notes to identify how I should assemble the table. This guy was rather eager to get it done quickly.

Initially I took his eagerness for getting the job done as fast as he could and head back home, since it was already evening. As there were a few other things to take care of, I told him that we can do it the next day and we left it as is.

The next day, I was at work. Once he came in, he just referred to the manual once and understood how to actually put the table together. When I got back, he had done some of it already.

More importantly, he knew how the pieces would fit together and could visualise the joints perfectly. Observing him at his craft, I was amazed.

Then, I realised my folly. I had underestimated someone who lives and breathes this work day and night!

That evening, as we finished assembling the table together, I could sense a satisfaction within his voice. Of having been able to do it without extensively referring to the manual. And of having taught me a lesson.

The next time, when I call someone to get odd jobs done, I ought to remember that they are experts in their field and would know better.

While it’s always good to question and discuss things, it pays to respect experience…

The meandering climb.

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Aniket was panting. He was on a steep climb and was running out of breath.

He found a small rock that was protruding out, almost as if inviting him, to sit down. He took that offer.

It had been a relentless last couple of hours. Once he had reached the base of this summit, he was ecstatic. He had scaled three folds to get there.

And yet, as he looked back and then ahead, Aniket’s mind told him that he could do more. There was more power left in him to scale the next one.

Not one to ever stop for rest, he took up the challenge with aplomb. Stuffing a quick packed meal into his mouth, he gulped down some water, and took out the map to chart his course.

Aniket was ambitious. And he wanted to get to the top quickly. So, the most natural path was straight up!

He started out in zest but somewhere within the first hour itself, he could feel his legs weren’t strong enough. They needed some rest. He kept pushing though.

Then, after a while, his breathing started to give him problems. His heart rate monitor was constantly in the high zone. Eventually, when he saw the rock he was now resting on, his mind gave up and he settled down.

He was tired and soon felt asleep. After dozing for almost an hour, he woke up. As he saw around, for the first time, he noticed the beauty of the surroundings in all their might.

He had scaled many a peaks but had not seen this beauty anywhere. It was magical, paradise like. There was a light fog and the sun was peeping through the clouds, shining on some parts of the valley.

As Aniket looked around, he realised that it would be a big mistake if he just climbed up without absorbing all this nature around him. He still wanted to get to the top but his heart raced at the thought of walking through those beautiful narrow pathways he could see ahead of him.

He decided to change course. For the next couple of hours, he walked on those meandering pathways, touching the plants on the sides, enjoying spring water from the tiny streams, feeling the air around him.

It took him longer than it would have if he had climbed straight but he got to the top just before dusk. He saw the sun setting, soaking in the evening rays and their wonderful colours.

He was dead tired now but also very happy. He had listened to his heart and had gone through a new experience. Something, he would remember all his life. He slept peacefully that night.

The next morning, when he woke up, Aniket realised that what he had seen was a dream. He was in his apartment, lying next to his wife.

He lay there, staring at the ceiling and remembering the experience. And the lesson.

He could aim for the summit but that didn’t mean he had to climb straight up. There were different pathways, some of them richer than the straight climb, that he could take.

That meandering climb will take him longer but will be worth it…

That empty feeling

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I was standing in the corridor, stuck on my feet!

While my friends were walking away towards the after party, I felt stuck. The event was over.

It was the early months of 2009. Peak of global recession, in the aftermath of which, most people were still smarting about what turns life will take.

We all, having joined our MBA just post the Lehman Brothers collapse, were gingerly going through the paces.

However, as was our wont, we couldn’t just accept things to meander. We needed to take some control of the situation. Make some noise about ourselves.

In a country like Singapore, where you’re not a big brand, you need to figure out creative ways to do stuff.

So, we decided to organize our first inter-college fest. It was a tried and tested method to do something inclusive and network effectively, and we decided to give it a shot.

A small committee of students was formed, with I leading it. Our role was to figure out the entire program, engage with other colleges, and run the show. Pretty much everything.

We of course had some assistance from our professors and administrators, and from the larger group. But that group of 5-6 students did the heavy lifting.

As we got to the deep end, alongside our classes and the numerous tests, it wasn’t easy. We had to scramble on many fronts.

But so we did. We came out as a team and did ourselves proud. Everything started falling into place.

Eventually, we managed to get things done with a good turnout. Participation from other colleges, well organized events, fun banter, good food to go around.

As that day drew to a close, I felt a lump building in my throat. I had breathed at this frenetic pace and lived the moment for so long, that seeing it all come toward a close, my mind didn’t know what next to do.

So, as others walked toward the after party, I felt rooted to my place, smiling from the outside but feeling an emptiness inside.

A few of my friends noticed and asked me to join, I waved to them as if I was going to follow. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

I just needed to be by myself. To feel that emptiness and relish the memories.

I wept in the open air. It was as if a chapter of my life had closed.

Later, the next morning, as I woke up, I realized that the heady feeling of the last few days was gone. It was replaced by a question – will I get to experience something similar again!

Shape of You

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Juhi was sitting down at her desk. Perplexed.

She had just got out of a meeting with her boss. It was an important meeting because she wanted to flag certain risks and issues in the project she was overseeing.

She had been in the company for a while. After having graduated from a prestigious college in the capital, she had taken to her career like fish to water.

Having shown strong work ethics and commitment, the company had seen her potential and given her a couple of promotions and responsibilities. She was now a project leader.

Juhi knew that as a senior member, she had the onus of not only overseeing her team but also analyse how things were and if they were in the right direction.

Today’s discussion was exactly that. She trying to flag risks and issues she foresaw after her client pushed her back on certain details of the project, and which she believed ought to be addressed. She had discussed the situation with her mentor, and he had given her confirmation that she was on the right track.

So, she had walked in to the meeting with a lot of confidence. However, her boss wasn’t sure if there was merit in her position. He told her that he had seen some of these requests before and if the client wanted something so strongly, it was better to agree and move ahead.

After arguing for an hour on the relative merit of their respective positions, she knew that there was no point in continuing further, so she told her boss that she will think through what he had shared.

Once outside, she ambled toward her seat. She was perplexed because she knew her boss to be a tough nut but also mostly right. However, she read his reluctance to go against what the client was advising as fear of losing the project.

She didn’t know what she could do now. This was a first. Just then, a couple of her team members came up, and she decided to put off her thoughts. The rest of the day went by as usual, and she couldn’t find any time to delve deeper into her previous thoughts during the day.

Later in the night, as she lay down to sleep, her thoughts went back to her growing up years. During her high school days, she was in the Girls Scout, and was a regular at the camps.

In one such camp, she was a part of a group that had to play the role of an advanced party. During their descent from a hill, she had sensed danger and advised her group to take a different route. Although there was some reluctance, she hadn’t given up and instead used logical arguments through her map reading skills to convince her group.

Eventually, her sense had proven right, as there had been rain just the night before in a dangerous section of the descent and the original route had become very challenging for another party. She had been judged a high performer due to this contribution to her group’s success.

That single recollection gave Juhi confidence. She had been shaped by such experiences and she wasn’t going to let her gut be ruled out. She knew she was not wrong and her position merited caution. She decided she will push back.

The next couple of days, she spent time framing her thoughts. She consulted once more with her mentor about the approach being taken, and got a positive sign. She was all set.

She wrote a persuasive email to the client, copying his boss too. She also copied her boss and her team. In the email, she laid out her thoughts with initial hypothesis and requested everyone to consider both sides of the coin. She volunteered to run a detailed analysis of various possibilities, and accepted an independent review.

She half expected a push back again. But the way she had written it down, there wasn’t a single person who could turn down the request. They granted it to her to investigate.

A month later, she had the final report, reviewed and decided upon. Her hypothesis had proven right and the client had to back off the initial requests.

That evening, her boss congratulated her in front of her team, acknowledging how wrong he had been and how right Juhi had been.

She had shown her character during this challenge and it was indeed because of how she had been shaped…

Connecting the dots.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Steve Jobs famously mentioned these words during his address to a graduating class at Stanford.

Watching him orate his experiences and how they helped him in his life have been an inspiration for me.

Primarily because it spoke of how nothing in life is ever wasted. Even a small experience can at some point in time light a spark to take things forward!

As time has passed, I have also come to appreciate that all of us are wired differently and connect dots differently. So even though we may have shared experiences with others, the way we perceive and recall them are different.

This weekend, as I took a couple of days off and spent time reflecting on a few things, I realised this point again.

I was thinking of the various things I have done in my life till this point. And which of those have given me joy, made me learn, and pushed me forward.

Sifting through those memories, I could see some of them connected with each other in ways I had not thought of before.

Maybe, my perspective has matured. Or changed. Or perhaps, it’s just that those dots weren’t connected before in my mind, but now are.

Anyways, I am happy to have connected those dots. For they spoke of paths I am uniquely privileged to have been on.

As I reflected back on this time spent in solitude, I couldn’t have chosen a better time. I had not done this over the past couple of years and needed this reconnection with self.

Not to mention, the calm around me also helped heal the general overload from always ‘doing’ something…

The Tangential Line

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

A line is one of the most basic shapes in our life. And it’s straight.

Last I checked, straight still remains the shortest path between two points.

And yet, there’s this macabre pleasure people get in real life of forming lines which are tangential or don’t follow the rules of geometry.

As if, that tangent is an art form in itself. And the waviness of the line makes it more appealing!Sort of like , I will do this because I can.

But what about folks like me who like it straight?

I thought this phenomenon was restricted to India and parts of the developing world. But boy, was I wrong. Under duress, most people break! The line…

At Paris airport last weekend, I witnessed this first hand.

With a highly confusing design, the Paris airport is a study in itself. Transiting through it for the first time, I had expected it to be better organized. It wasn’t is an understatement.

Owing to multiple pathways and too many checkpoints, I saw people breaking lines everywhere. At the terminal interchange, at the passport control, at the bus boarding lines, and at the security gates.

Having to scamper through the length of the airport, within the short time span I had to catch my connecting flight back home, I first thought I will follow the rules as everyone does and will get through fast enough.

By the time I realized that wasn’t to be, there were already ten people who had overtaken me in trying to gain faster access. I had to cajole and request some of the airport staff, to make it just in time for my flight!

As I settled down into my seat, and relived my hour at the interchange, I heaved a sigh of relief. I was trained enough in the vagaries of India to find my way through that chaos.

Fresh from this dramatic experience, over this weekend, as we went to watch a movie, looking around, I felt that I needed those same instincts to get my tub of popcorn.

Thankfully, my straight common sense prevailed and I saved myself from going tangential…

“Exposed”

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Growing up in small town India was a lot of fun. Specially during the summer holidays.

Almost all of my summer holidays were spent at home or with grandparents and cousins. It however meant that I often didn’t go beyond those places, neither did I get exposed to new things.

This changed rapidly during my high school years. Didn’t happen inorganically or because someone elder decided that I needed exposure. It was rather organic and spontaneous, even circumstantial.

Post my 10th class exams, I decided to accompany my cousins to Delhi. Alone, without my parents.

Although I had been to Delhi earlier with my parents, now I was a teenager and it felt liberating to go live with them alone. My parents somehow were quite comfortable and allowed me to explore.

My cousins also, sensing my excitement, let me be. We roamed around quite a bit, saw some of the iconic landmarks of the city, and ate at some good places. It was when I took to reading novels in a single sitting and quite surprisingly, finished quite a few of them.

That was my first exposure to big city life, in all its glory and shame. Some tough lessons in that trip!

Next summer, after finishing my 11th class exams, my maternal uncle and my father prodded me to attend a Military School camp. Something that aligned well with my ambitions to join the forces, and to which I readily agreed.

It was the first time I stayed in a hostel and experienced that life. Being on your own forces you to learn rapidly. It is radically different and exposed me to the good, the bad, and the ugly among the crowd.

Again, in all its glory and shame, I learnt to live on my own and read people a little better. I also learnt many life lessons, that are embedded in the conscious and subconscious mind.

That same year, I went over to help my cousins move their home and spent days helping them pack and unpack. Although it was relatively easier, I had never assumed such responsibility during our own moves from one place to another, and it offered me multiple lessons.

That real world interaction, in a new location, again proved to be rich in exposure. It also allowed me to explore a place that I had been to earlier with my parents, only this time in a different light.

All these opportunities not only exposed me to new stuff, but also proved helpful later on as I branched out on my own. If I wouldn’t have been in those situations, it would have taken me longer to find my groove later.

Today, as a parent, when I think of how many things our daughter is getting exposed to, and the pace at which it is happening, I am amazed. And yet, it is also a realisation that all these experiences shouldn’t just help her see a new world but also learn aspects of life that she wouldn’t get to just being at home.

Something to keep a note for this new year and beyond!

Inspired!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There’s something magical about sports. I love it.

For the fun and joy it provides, of course. But also for the inspiration it provides to a mere mortal like me.

This week I had two such inspirational moments.

First was when I was reading through Andre Agassi’s biography. An extremely well written one, where he talks about his love and hate relationship with the game and his personal struggles to lay down the path of glory.

And second when I watched Virat Kohli get to his 30th hundred leaving behind the great Don Bradman. Having waited for more than a year, it was a sweet feeling to see him get there despite all odds and everyone having written him off.

These moments made me recall all the amazing things I have learnt from sports and sports people.

Playing made me grow as a person, both on and off the field. I always played something or the other – football, cricket, hockey, athletics, and volleyball.

Mutual respect, trust, resilience, discipline – all qualities I picked up along the way.

But the bigger lessons came watching some of the professional superstars.

Observing Tendulkar, and then Dravid on the cricket field made me respect discipline and humility. I modeled myself to not get swayed by success or stuck due to failure.

Following Agassi and then Federer, hitting tennis balls through the line, taught me how to do it elegantly with my head held high. Knowing I had given it my best.

Watching the great Schumacher zag through the lanes and winning against odds made me appreciate the value of never giving up. And continuing even after a bad start.

Enjoying Messi’s play on the football field helped me understand how skills and team work need to come together to do great things. And why I always need to collaborate.

There are many more instances I could take and learnings I could recall.

But one important thing I really imbibed reading about these greats behind the scene, was the fact that success doesn’t come overnight.

It has to be toiled for, day after day, hour after hour of practice. It has to be planned for, even when the chances are slim. And it has to be aspired for, to really make a dash for it.

As I wind up a whirlwind week, these are all good reminders of the game I am playing. And checking myself on how I am playing it…