Failures

The brighter side

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I believe strongly in this saying, “Whatever happens, it’s for the good“. Something I learnt through personal experiences.

And yet, when something untoward happens, my mind first races to the negative side…

Why did this happen with me? How did I let it happen? What did I do wrong? And many such questions.

This weekend, when I missed my return flight from a longish business trip, it wasn’t a happy feeling. I felt like an idiot.

While I sorted out the mess and got myself booked again on another flight for the next day, my mind continued to swarm with negative thoughts. When I called up home to tell them of the mishap, it felt so bad I wanted to scream at myself.

But then, I calmed myself down. Sat down for a while and took some time to make peace with the fact that I could have done better.

In my sleep, I must have dreamt away those thoughts, for when I woke up, I felt neutral.

It took me longer to get back home but on the way I met a couple of good people, got some good me time at the right waking hours, and also got some work done.

Most importantly, I realized why the mishap had come to pass, and identified corrective actions, so that I do not let something similar happen again.

Maybe there are some other lessons or good that I don’t realize now or haven’t come true but will be revealed with time.

This has happened with me in the past too. I didn’t succeed in my business when I had put in so much effort. I didn’t get through a competitive exam when I wanted to pass badly. I had to give away my childhood dream due to an injury. But each time, I realized that mishap had made me stronger. And the future had in store for me better things.

That’s why some ask us to ‘be positive!’ Or you may call it ‘looking at the brighter side’…

Of Preparedness and Biases

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For the first time in my life, I was left dumb-stuck when it came to scheduling something. It was awful.

Here I was, slated to go on a trip to my hometown with my family, all planned and prepared for a long train journey after quite a gap. Only to discover a few hours before the slated travel, that somehow I forgot to book the onward tickets!

Now I am someone who generally plans well in advance and believes in ensuring as much predictability as possible. And specially when it comes to travel, I painstakingly plan each and every leg of the trip.

But this was something I had never faced. I was furious on myself. How could I do something like this. Why didn’t I discover it before. And dejected that something I prided myself on – scheduling and planning, had gone wrong.

In the minutes that followed, with limited time and lack of focus, I quickly scanned the availability of flights and booked the best possible option. I didn’t even think of checking the train availability at that point of time, which I later discovered was indeed an option.

We traveled well and got home safely. However, my mind was racing all throughout and during the quiet flight, in a sombre mood, as I reflected back on the day, I figured two things.

Firstly, I had never imagined that such a situation would occur and when it did happen, I got into a reactive mode and my brain functioning reduced significantly. Secondly, I had a comfort/past bias that train availability wasn’t an option and I couldn’t put my bias aside to take a fully informed decision.

In our lives, we tend to plan everything considering the best or normally possible scenarios. We believe bad things happen to others and not to us. In behaving with confidence, sometimes we become overconfident. We ignore the fact that we are humans and we could go wrong or situations around us could go wrong any time. And when something bad or undesirable happens, we come up against a wall, not knowing what to do. In hindsight, it is better to plan considering all scenarios and be prepared for any eventuality.

And, we all have biases, which sometimes prevent us from doing the right thing. Again in hindsight, we should train our minds to acknowledge and recognise these biases, so that they don’t cloud our judgements – whether with inanimate things or with people – and help us take better decisions.

Hopefully, I have learnt a couple of lessons that I will remember and take care to heed in days to come.

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

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I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!