What is it? Why do we need one? How do I explain this simply?

This question had been riling me for a while. Not because I didn’t know the explanation. But because that explanation was abstract or complex, not easily describable.

Then, this week something happened which helped me decipher the explanation!

As is the wont, our daughter made a mistake. A behavioral mistake. One that wasn’t agreeable to me or my wife. And we set out to make it right.

We knew we had to nip that behavior in the bud and at the same time help our daughter realize how she needs to change it.

This wouldn’t have been possible by positing as the usual dad, which I am often guilty of. It rather needed me to wear a different hat and check in my biases, inhibitions, and suggestions at the door. I chose to have a heart to heart with her.

Sitting down, we had a long conversation. About what had led her to behave like she did. How had it not been obvious to her that it wasn’t right. And what was her observation post her behavior. As well as of those around her.

I gave her the room to speak her mind and tell me what she was thinking before and after. And how did she perceive it.

As we dived in, I realized that I needed to give her a tool which could help her in similar situations going forward. So, I explained to her the code that I follow. “Don’t do something that you cannot tell about to everyone”.

She took my advice and has course corrected, apologizing to a couple of friends at the rough end of the behavior. As well as making peace with herself that although she slipped some, we caught on to her and she is back to her usual self.

But as I thought about it, I realized the simplicity with which I had explained a very important concept to her. That of morality and how to judge it!

For what is morality? How we ought to see ourselves or how we see others? How we ought to do ourselves or how we do to others? They are both intertwined I believe, in a circular motion.

Morality moves in tandem with who we are, and what we do. Whatever we choose, our morals become that. And that compass continues to guide us in the direction that we had already chosen…