Hope

The Year That Was! (or not?)

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The boy was at the new year party. The countdown to 2024 had begun.

As he saw happy, smiling faces all round, cheering the countdown, he couldn’t help but notice his own mixed feelings about the year that had gone by. And how he felt about multiple things that happened in the course of the last twelve months.

He had begun the year on high hopes. There was not a single grain of doubt that 2023 was going to be a great year for him. His life was finally settling down with a steady job, a relationship he was happy in, and lovely friends all around.

But as life took its turns around the first few months, he saw his friends drifting away. One of them moved onto a new job and new city, another just got into a new relationship and spent lesser time with him.

His job, which he was so gung ho about, suddenly started seeming dreary. The promotion he was expecting came through but so came other challenges associated with the new position. He was doing the same thing he did the year before, with the same set of people, for the same set of clients. He started feeling he wasn’t growing and frustration started creeping in.

The only thing that remained steady during this period was his relationship. It was a source of strength for him and gave him confidence that better times will come again.

But as these images flashed back in front of his eyes, he realized that far more than ever, his life had remained steady. There was not a single mishap that had happened, in his personal life or on the work front.

He remembered how there was a health scare with his dad the previous year. And how it had disturbed everybody in the family. It could have been much worse. But nothing untoward had happened.

He recalled, how there were layoffs at his company. His division was also affected. But he had been doing well and wasn’t impacted. Instead, he ended up getting the promotion and role change.

And as he realized this, he became more grateful for how the year had gone by. For, that is how a typical good year goes by. There are some wins, some losses, some happiness, some sadness, some good and some bad outcomes. But you come out without being scathed much.

He joined the cacophony of voices that were counting down.

3… 2… 1…

As he kissed his partner and wished everyone around a happy new year, deep within he was contented and happy to step into a new year with new expectations and hopes of good things and changes…

Tough times…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

One of my friends is going through a tough time. The other day, when I was talking to him, he was sounding dismayed and mentioned “hope I get through this phase sound and safe”…

That conversation kept resurfacing in my thoughts over the past 2 weeks. And it led me to reflect on life’s vagaries.

It was April 2002. I was hospitalised for more than 6 months by that point for an injury I had sustained in my cervical spine. That was inarguably the toughest phase in my life. After passing out of the IMA, I had joined the corps of EME and was looking forward to an exciting career in the forces, when that accident had happened.

In the initial days I had tried to fight the problem and kept going but my health hadn’t improved. Then, on doctor’s advise, I had tried to take as much rest as possible, hoping that the rest would cure the fracture. I had tried alternate forms of medicine but none worked. And finally, after those six months in 3 hospitals, the decision was taken that I had to leave the Army due to medical disability.

It was devastating. It was this life I had envisioned all my childhood. I had done well in my course too. But clearly, life had other plans.

I didn’t know what to do next. I had no clue about anything else. I had not prepared for this unexpected turn. But as the reality dawned on me, some of the fellow officers, who were also admitted to the hospital for health reasons, gave me courage and hope. They told me not to worry, things will turn out fine.

Later on, 2013-14 bought a similar challenge to my doorstep. After having worked hard for 3 years to establish my business and putting in everything, I had to close it down. Again this time, I hadn’t prepared for this eventuality. I was wanting to build a successful business. But guess, things weren’t meant to be.

As I folded up my operations, I kept getting haunted by the past and whether life will give me another chance. There was a lot of uncertainty and without any clue, I sailed out again, hoping to find my rudder and get to the right shore.

As I moved out, still unsure about the future in both the cases, I realised that I was actually not going out empty handed. Even though I hadn’t been able to live the life I had wanted or fulfil my ambition, I had obtained a lot of knowledge and training, which I could utilise all my life. And as days and years have passed, a lot of it has come to good use.

It is those years of trial and tribulation that gave me some of the best learnings of life. Those troughs taught me never to under-estimate life but also that you can only plan so much. Not wanting to boast, but as age has advanced I have also realised that all those years have given me an edge – of handling the unexpected by taking it into my stride.

And I see the same edge in all those people who have gone through difficult and trying times. They get more resolute and more understanding, setting the stage for bigger things if they keep their focus up. And as life goes on and the peaks come, they are ready to conquer them with all their might.

As I talked to my friend, I assured him that whatever happens, will be for the good and he would look back at this time and remember it with respect for what it has taught him. Hopefully, things will turn out for the good for him and he will get back to his best form soon.

As this tough time rolls off and things get back to normal, it is the tough people who will last and win!

The Cleanliness Drive…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

My missus was in a good mood that day. After a long time, I heard praise from her about my cleanliness drive. I recall the exact words “You are good with the broom, the house is looking clean”. I was ecstatic, it was hard earned praise from the better half, after all.

While putting away the broom after experiencing that high, I was instantly reminded of the many roles “the broom” has played in my life.

It began with the versatile object being used as a weapon of choice for hauling me up, on quite a few occasions when things got absolutely out of control as a kid. My mother was a very patient woman, holding the big house together with the many inhabitants and guests. But there were times when her patience gave way due to my stubbornness and then I got the wrong end of the stick. Literally…

As I grew up, the broom also became an object to hide away the mess made while playing or working up tricks. I was once caught on the terrace burning a stash of newspapers by myself and received a good beating. Having smarted from the incident, the next few times I did that, the broom became a good friend sweeping the secrets away!

It had its positives also. The practice made me good at sweeping the house. Later on, when the need arose, I used to wield it to the desired effect and earn praise from the elders for being such a good boy. And that carried on during the Army stint as well, when keeping the cabin spick and span was more than a matter of routine – the consequences were stark and often meant lost sleep.

And so it has been ever since. The practices instilled in the Army haven’t left me and cleanliness is one of the most important things – personal as well as surroundings. I see something dirty and have an instant urge to sort the mess. Needless to say, the broom is the companion in most of those excursions.

The broom has been used to good effect in popular culture as well. Whether it is in depicting the quintessential dutiful wife, or the helpless maid, or the furious aunty, the moving pictures have shown it all. Of course, with consistency. For example, in Yash Chopra / Karan Johar movies, the broom wielding character was always in a larger than life, palatial house that never needed cleaning.

Television shows have used it as a prop and stand-up comedians have often centered their jokes around it. Books and columns have often written about it in eloquent fashion. One of my apartment friends wrote a great piece sometime back, describing his ascent in the art of using the broom as a cricket bat. And another one talked about the side effects of ‘vim and broom’ on the males of the house ever since the lockdown hit us!

The broom has been used extensively in politics also. A new breed of social activists turned reformists turned politicians used it as their symbol to indicate sweeping changes and arose hopes for millions of people. It is another thing that the sweep also blew some of them away. Others learnt from it and used cleanliness to a telling effect in reminding people of the need to get the country back to order.

And so, the broom continues to live in conscious and subconscious memory of all of us, often times coming in as an aid and sometimes as an adversary. This small object, found in almost all Indian homes, is a beacon of hope – that all will be well and we can afford a mess as long as we have it tucked in a corner of the house. And a reminder to lead a clean life…

Reliving the Experience

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are things we have experienced and moments we have lived that propel us to a higher plane. And those are what we want to relive again!

This weekend, I watched a TV series for the second time. After I had sat through the 5-6 hours and relived the story, my mind raced on to what compelled me to watch it again.

Art – be it any form – books, films, music, paintings or pictures – always has a shelf life. There are very few pieces of art that are able to transcend that time boundary and still retain their appeal. And as we navigate through life and come across them, some of them remain with us forever.

If I recall my own personal favourites, I would be able to count them pretty easily – specially books and films. Music of course is a different beast, as the volume of production is so high and there are almost hundreds of songs that are on my favourite list. Reliving those stories and melodies always brings a smile to my face.

Life is also similar. There are multiple moments we live through, but very few episodes of that life are what stay with us and if we had special powers, would want to relive. And we reminisce about them with friends and family, retelling the old tales, cherishing those times.

So has been the case with me at least. Those unforgettable moments are forever buried in my memory and keep playing in my head again and again. Ones I talk about.

But as I reflected on what is the compulsion or draw for me as an individual to engage with that art form again or to go back in time to relive those moments again, I realised it is because that art form or those moments generated feelings of love, hope, togetherness, happiness, etc.

All positive feelings…

Feelings which made me happy and helped me move forward in life. Feelings which created special bonds in those moments. Feelings which filled me with hope and determination.

It is these feelings which give me my life support. Which I turn back to when I am trying to figure things out. Which I think about and generate hope from.

As this realisation dawned on me, I went back in time and started reliving some of those moments again and smiling! And re-fuelled myself for the week ahead…

What if we knew the Future???

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Would we want to change anything? Or let life run it’s course rather than reigning it in?

As I sat today watching a movie with this as a central theme, life’s harshness dawned on me. And made me put the week gone by in perspective.

It was a sad week. I got news of one of my course mates in the Indian Army passing away. A young chap, just 39 years old losing life in a non-conflict zone is as unfortunate as it can get.

Robert was an affable and smiling chap and always used to take everything sportingly. With almost a zen like calm, which we sometimes used to confuse as indifference. But whatever he did, he always strived to give it his 100%.

He didn’t know his future for sure. None of us did when we joined the IMA. And yet we toiled hard during those days, soaking in all the pressure that was thrown on us, hopeful of a good life. But I can bet that even if Robert could somehow know his future, he wouldn’t have traded his life for something else. It was a good life he led.

As I reflected in these thoughts, I was thinking about how my own life panned out afterwards. The twists and turns it has taken. The highs and lows it has bestowed upon me. And the immense experiences it has provided me.

Perhaps if I knew my future, I may have peeped ahead and tried to avert my exit from the Army. It would have kept me in my dream career. But then, life wouldn’t have happened. And a multitude of things, including I meeting my wife, perhaps wouldn’t have turned out as they have!

Sometimes however, it seems cruel. Like it is the case for Robert. And when it does, we realise that we have been shortchanged. That we had so many aspirations that couldn’t be fulfilled. That we pursued the wrong pursuits. That we spent time on non-important things.

None of us know how long we have. Where we may land up. What we may succeed or fail at. How we may progress. But still, we live in eternal hope. Hope that everything will turn out well. That we will succeed in whatever we are striving for.

Perhaps that’s our guiding light from the future telling us not to worry. Things will be taken care of. That this too shall pass. And shows us the light at the end of that tunnel.

Perhaps that’s what life is…

Personal satisfaction, guaranteed – Part 2

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am still a fauji in some senses (you can take the man out of the army but not the army out of the man, someone said to me).

In most people’s minds, the army and the civil services are right at the top of the social hierarchy when it comes to professions directly affecting the nation. So when I came out from the Army, it was but natural for people back home to suggest the civil services as the next career choice.

No one from my father’s or our generation had been into civil services, although there was a lineage earlier during my forefathers. And there was hence some expectation. But I wasn’t convinced about that route and didn’t take it up.

Instead, I chose to gain different experiences. As I progressed through my career and went through my journey in the corporate world and then as an entrepreneur, I learnt a lot and gained some worthwhile experience in diverse fields.

Yet, at the back of my mind there was always this recognition of the great work India has been doing as a nation and how multiple people have been contributing to nation building across the government landscape.

Hence, when I got the choice to work with my current organisation and in the process work with the government sector, it was an opportunity for me to learn about the other side of the national service coin. Advising them on important initiatives and programs would mean contributing in my own little way to the nation again.

Surely enough, this stint has thrown a lot of light on how even despite huge challenges and limited resources, India is progressing well due to the ingenuity of our people. And how our vast and diverse country is being managed.

As an ex-fauji, it is surprising that although the civilian life demands much less, the passion, enthusiasm, and rigour that some of the people serving in the government have is amazing. There’s pride. There’s a strong sense of duty. And there are sacrifices of all kinds.

Talking to some of these officials has revealed how they have been in their own way helping the nation move forward inch by inch. And observing the work done by some of the junior staff gives hope that in spite of the odds, we are on the right track.

And while I am an outsider in the system, I would still go ahead and say that it is important that more and more capable people get in and serve the government through civil services or other entries or get associated with the government to bring the best to the society. Will help us achieve our destiny as a nation – something I am sure all of us would want to!

The Run of my life…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We were in a river valley on a dark night with forests all around and all of us were panicking. After all, losing your bearings is never a good time in life.

Sometimes dreams mirror what’s happening in our lives and link the past. I had one such dream the other day when I was transported to my Army days and relived an uncertain and panicky situation, akin to current times. Thought I will recount that incident here.

In the Indian Military Academy, which I attended on my way to get commissioned as an officer in the Indian Army, there were multiple outdoor training camps that we had to go for. The toughest of them was to the final one before cadets passed out, called Chindits.

Chindits wasn’t tough for the duration or workload – a week in a jungle camp with outdoor exercises is pretty normal by that time in the Academy. It was the run-back to the Academy that was difficult, with everyone having to cover about 100 kms in 16 hours, in combat uniform with about 20 kgs of load. The catch, if the group (35 people) doesn’t complete it, you do it again!

So naturally, there was an apprehension in all of us as the camp dates approached. We stocked up on food, chocolates, and advise from seniors. Had multiple discussions to decide on who will be our navigators and who will handle what responsibilities.

As the camp progressed, we waited in anticipation until the final day when we had a hearty meal before commencing the run-back in the early evening.

Initially, everything went as per plan. The navigators were first class and had chalked out the route we had to take. We all kept on double checking as we progressed and felt pretty confident of completing the run within the stipulated time.

And then, as darkness fell and we became more relaxed while walking the path, somewhere in the river valley, we missed the gorge and a critical turn and kept walking ahead. As we realised later, that was a grave mistake.

After walking for almost 10 kms, we discovered that we had been going on the wrong path and were lost in the jungle. Panic ensued in the group. Followed by blame game and infighting. Some blamed the navigators, some the leaders, some the night. But the reality was we were lost and losing time by the minute. We had been walking for almost 5 hours and had lost a couple of hours now.

As the group came to its senses and we re-calibrated, we realised that we had an uphill task now and had to literally run to make it back together to the Academy…

When we made our way back through the map and came back to the right turn, we had covered about 20 kms out of 100 in 6 hours! Not getting bogged down, we continued to pave our way through and began crossing the valley at a brisk pace. Until, another hurdle came across literally.

One of our teammates carrying a LMG side-stepped a stone and fell down, bringing another person down with him and both of them getting a bloody nose/chin in the event. It was mayhem, with we having to rush to treat them with our emergency kits and getting the injuries under control. It resulted in another fall out within the group and fall in morale of the injured team members.

We had now hit about 8 hours on the run with about 35 kms covered and we were yet to reach the first checkpoint. With nothing to lose, we decided to take the bull by the horns. We divided ourselves into small teams and carried the injured team members as well as their bags and equipment to the checkpoint where we could report them sick.

We now started running continuously and covered the 5 kms to the checkpoint, clocking in at 9 hours. The officers there were really worried as we were the only group which hadn’t reported yet. They were about to send a search and rescue party to find us. Relieved that we had reached, they took our report and accepted the sick guys. And told us at the same time that it appeared impossible for us to now make it back to the Academy on time.

Not to be bowed down, we decided to give it a shot and as previously, carried on in smaller teams with each on of us egging the others and singing songs together. The second checkpoint was at 60 kms and the third at about 80 kms, both of which we hit in 2 hours each. So at the third checkpoint, we were at 13 hours and still had 20 kms to cover.

Our brisk pace had given us all a lot of hope and we were becoming more and more confident. The officer at the last checkpoint encouraged us to give it our all and as we left for the last leg of our run-back, our pace became more and more brisk.

Covering the last 20 kms in 2 hours, we hit the Academy in 15 hours from the time we started. Actually slightly earlier than some of the other groups! Our clothes were all sweaty and smelly and we were all exhausted by the running and constant cheering, with some of us temporarily losing our voices.

Once all the groups were in (no one had to repeat), we were called out by the Commandant and received special praise for exhibiting the resoluteness and perseverance to complete the exercise despite the odds. Most of us cried. And all of us turned from boys to men!

As I look back now on that experience and how we all, a motley group of youngsters, made it all the way back with spirits held high, I realise the world will too at the end of the current crisis. If we don’t let this situation get the better of us and if we keep sane, things will turn for better soon. And hopefully, a lot more mature and brave…

PS: sorry if this was long and boring, just had to recount the tale.

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!