Learning

Why too serious?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are too many things in life that we take too seriously.

And in that quest of taking ourselves too seriously, we often forget to enjoy life…

The past week, a colleague who was also a friend, passed away. He had been battling cancer for a long time.

As I received the news and saddened by it thought about my last meeting with him, I couldn’t help but reflect on his journey.

Especially the past few years, and his approach towards life!

In the most testing times, he was still full of life. It was as if he had made a resolution to let nothing affect his zest for life.

When someone battling with life on a daily basis shows that commitment, you stop and take notice. You wonder at the bravery. You smile at the tenacity.

So did I. But I never looked deeply enough to understand how commendable it was.

For I, lost in my own thoughts and problems, was too seriously involved in my life.

It was only in his passing, did he leave me a lasting lesson. To not be too serious. And to enjoy life come what may!

As I thought about this aspect through the last week, it became clear to me that I can afford to loosen up.

To enjoy life even when things are not going my way. To enjoy life even if I am not feeling well. And to enjoy life even if there isn’t much left of it.

For in that enjoyment is the essence of life. To live it. To experience it. And to see it through…

All Heart!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I think from my heart. That’s when I do best. It’s my strength.

I have claimed this before in word and letter. And felt it for sure.

Yet, as it often happens with us mortal beings, we forget our strengths. And deviate from the usual path.

That’s what I realised over the past few days. Twice!

On both those occasions, I had the chance to think from my heart. The situations demanded that I do so.

Still, somehow my mind weighed heavier on my heart in those moments. And I chose ‘rationally’!

My mind was probably too determined, because even after the choice, it didn’t let go of its chokehold on the reason for the decision.

So, I continued to operate without a question. My heart tugged at me a few times in between, but my mind brushed it off.

Eventually, my heart gave up and my mind won!

That clarity lasted only for a few days though. Through an interjection, which was like a jolt, I was snapped out of my state.

As soon as the fog lifted and the heart realised it had been tricked, I fell. I fell so hard that my heart wept. My eyes wallowed. And tears streaked down.

It was only then that I realised I had made an error in my choice in those moments. And how I had failed even after so much training and self awareness.

I realised how I had brushed off my heart’s pleas to reconsider. And how I had justified my choice to myself reluctantly.

But it was too late…

The choice had been made and the decision had kept me out of loop on the things that mattered more to me than what I left them for.

As I sat down on the second occasion, wiping my tears, it became clear to me that I need to retrain myself.

To believe in my strength. To acknowledge any nudge or thought that is asking me to reconsider my choices.

And to be all heart again…

Talk!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The one thing that we are gifted with. And the one thing we don’t do enough of.

Even when we can. Even when we should…

In fact, even though we have this clarity at the back of our minds, it’s surprising that other emotions or distractions stop us from doing so.

During the past two weeks, there were quite a few instances when I felt how this basic skill had helped me. And each time, as I realised its importance, I couldn’t believe that the realisation wasn’t the first time.

The first was when I had to talk about a recent failure at work. It was hard. Even though I had already communicated the mistake and the learning to some people via email.

But because I had already talked about it earlier, I had normalised the failure in my mind. Talking had helped me tide over the disappointment.

So, when I recounted the mistake and the learning, I wasn’t hesitant or defensive. And because the team had seen me come out honestly, I felt they appreciated that there was willingness to learn and do better.

The second was when I was having a conversation with my brother. We were talking about a personal decision that he was making. I wasn’t very sure about it when I heard it. So, I was pushing back.

My brother was however very clear about the reason for his decision. I could have shut up and let him decide but because we trust each other, I continued to ask.

As we discussed further, he was able to explain his rationale to me. We finally agreed that it was the best choice right now, decision taken. Only made possible because we talk a lot and there is trust between the two.

The last one was when my wife and I were having a frank conversation this weekend. We both believe in talking things out. In good times and in not so good times.

As we went deeper into the discussion, I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy one. But having an understanding that we only gain by speaking our minds, we didn’t say away.

Eventually, we talked about a couple of difficult things and asked each other uncomfortable questions. It wasn’t easy but we didn’t stop talking. And that helped us get to a better place from where we started.

Why am I recounting these? Because I think it’s important for us to talk more. To hear each other. And to build our bonds through real conversations.

After all, better said than done…

“Hard work”

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

An important but underrated quality! Something that we don’t appreciate often enough.

A lot of us talk about doing smart work. In today’s age, that is all that matters. Getting more done in lesser time with lesser resources.

But smart work often forces us to consider how to optimise. What if we didn’t know well enough what we are optimising?

I have often wondered about how for our kids, learning the right things is more important than learning to optimise. And how do we make that happen.

So, when our daughter had to go through a 2-month project in Grade 5, I was waiting to see how it pans out. And how the school guides the kids in their approach.

All through the project duration, we were informed and updated on a need to know basis. Naturally, our curiosity was heightened by the time the kids had to present their work.

The one thing I did observe during the first few weeks, and which became evidently clear in the last two weeks of the project, was that the project involved a lot of work.

Well, that was expected. What we didn’t know was how would the kids approach it and how would they come out on the other side.

So, with only a little idea of how things had come out, we went to the school for the exhibition. What I saw was quite fascinating!

The kids had done some really hard work to put things together. Their basic research was quite thorough and their exhibits were impressive.

What was more encouraging was the depth and breadth of the presentations. As we visited the exhibits and talked to them, the kids excitedly demonstrated their work. With a lot of pride.

The school had made them toil in their groups. They had been made to do things properly. And it was showing in how they were talking about it.

There were no optimisations. There were no shortcuts. Just plain, simple, old school approach to doing things deeply.

As the day came to an end, I could observe most of them were happy. With their effort. With themselves and for their group.

They had successfully cleared the test. More importantly, they had learnt the value of hard work.

And hopefully, lessons that will be embedded in their young minds forever…

Spot the difference.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We always will be different from others. That’s a fact. But we don’t treat it as such. And that often leads to differences!

The past two weeks, I was traveling for work. During that trip, I met a lot of people at a conference, from different nationalities. Apart from the usual work-related discussions, there were also some great conversations about personal stuff as we compared notes on a multitude of things ranging from life to culture to values.

Guess what was the common thing? Everyone was different. In terms of their outlook, their perspective, their values, their beliefs, etc.

Over the weekend, I also observed many a people while roaming around markets and in restaurants. Those observations tallied with my personal interactions.

And yet, as I reflected upon those insights and my behavior, I found that while I inherently understand that others are different than me, I often expect them to behave the way I do. Or understand me instantly.

As I dug deeper through my interactions and observations, I also found a few common themes. Shared values, beliefs, perspectives. Those are what allowed us to mingle with each other and have those myriad conversations. Those are what enabled us to understand each other even though we are from different countries.

There seems to be a dichotomy here, until you realise that there isn’t. This is how it is meant to be.

For, even though we may have different ideologies and values, we mostly want to treat others the way we would like ourselves to be treated. We don’t hesitate to talk and share perspectives, even though they may differ. And we mostly don’t walk in with a closed mind, as otherwise it may be difficult to even have a conversation!

We agree to disagree. We listen to other’s perspectives and then either assimilate or discard them. We hold on to our values, well mostly, until something earth-shattering chnages them.

So, even though we are different in many aspects, it is worth remembering that what we believe in, value, and aspire for may be different than the others. But that shouldn’t lead us to a corner if we spot differences.

Instead, it should help us recognise that there is an opportunity for sharing and learning from each other…

Honour.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have often wondered how strongly do our deeds binds us to our words. Why would I do as I say? And what if I am not able to honour them?

This past week, on the work front, this aspect came into sharp focus for me personally.

Something I had promised didn’t go through. It was a setback. When I learnt of it, the first reaction was of disbelief and frustration. Why did it have to happen!

Then, as the aftermath of the situation dawned on me, I felt stifled. The next couple of hours, wading through anguish, I kept on thinking about how I had not been able to honour my words.

It was the worse I have felt in a few months. Not being able to do something about it immediately further added salt to the wound.

But as my mind calmed down and I started thinking about the entire episode, I realised that I had not honoured the basic premise on top of which I had made my promises.

I had been too confident that things will go as planned. That confidence didn’t allow me to look for alternatives even when the deadline was fast approaching.

I had depended on others promises, only to learn that they couldn’t be honoured, on the last day. And in doing so, I had not left any room to honour my words to others!

It has been a stark reminder. To not accept promises on face value. And to always have alternatives to ensure my words can be honoured.

But as they say about mistakes, “if it happens to teach you something, it’s worth it”, I am imbibing this as a lesson.

Shaken but not stirred…

A welcome surprise!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The year began for me on a good personal note. And the first fifteen days have been great!

With wifey away at her hometown, I spent quite a lot of time with my daughter alone. Well, she had school and the usual routines. But still, we spent more time together than we would have done normally.

It was amazing to notice how she is developing at closer quarters. Having multiple conversations gave me a better sense of her thinking and connecting with it.

It was also weird! Because daughters think very differently than sons. Having been one, I could identify some of those differences and those made me think.

For example, they have deeper observational skills. One day, looking at how I was more relaxed after the break, she commented how I was happier than usual.

They also have a keen sense of understanding how doing something right will get them what they wish for. On one of the days, knowing I was going to agree to her request if she returned home on time after playing, she came back promptly on her own and got something in return!

But the best one is how they take care of you and your feelings. On another day, she ensured that she took care of me when I wasn’t feeling too well. That felt special, knowing she was doing the most she could.

I am sure I didn’t have so much maturity when I was ten. I was lost in my own world, trying to make the most of my play time with friends.

In fact, I see this happen even as we grow older. With my wife, cousins, friends.

Daughters are closer to their family and loved ones. They tend to be more concerned and keep in touch more often, irrespective of how busy they are. We sons, give more attention to worldly matters and don’t do as much.

Or how, daughters think about every little detail, irrespective of their age. And for everyone. Whereas sons are mostly concerned about things that are visible and sometimes overlook the subtleties.

Whatever may be the reasons, I think it balances things beautifully. Different perspectives and thought processes allow for different strengths and thus different contributions.

Back to my story, as we came to the end of the ten day period we were without the boss at home, the one single takeaway was that this was fun!

And was a welcome surprise for both of us that we would love to repeat…

Action, Camera, Lights…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Another year went by. A new one has started.

Many of us have plans for the next twelve months. Or at least we think we do.

But do we pause and think if the order of things makes sense? And is that enough for us to achieve what we aim for?

Or are we rushing through the process, forgetting what comes first – lights or action?

Some of these thoughts crossed my mind as I spent the last week introspecting how the last year went by and what I should aim for in this new year.

I did a lot last year. Both on the professional and the personal front. A few things tick marked. There were a few misses but overall it was a good year.

A lot of learning happened. But one of the things that stayed with me was the process adopted and the results achieved.

There were times when I took a shortcut, either to get frustrated later on or through results that weren’t satisfactory or sustainable.

And then, there were cases when I adopted the right approach, and got to satisfactory and sustainable outcomes.

This happened in both my personal and professional life.

And as I saw where I was led to in either case, it became clearer that if I intend to achieve long-term success, I must do the right things at the right time. Rolling the camera without the lights won’t make much sense.

So, as 2026 begins, my one single resolve is to stick to a plan and make it work in the right manner. If I do that enough no. of times and for long enough, I should see some success…

Lights. Camera. Action.

Assumed assumptions!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We like assuming. In fact, we love to assume and move forward.

A lot of times those assumptions are just those. Assumptions. Without any rhyme or reason.

But because we like to keep things simple and probably see them through our own eyes only, those assumptions are valid and reasonable.

But what if that isn’t true? What if we could do much better not assuming those assumptions?

Over the last few weeks, as these thoughts ran in my mind, I started observing. How I was reacting and deciding. And how others around me did the same.

There were times when I found my assumptions to be convenient for me. Because I didn’t want to go through the hard work of finding the right details.

Often times when I was assuming something, it was so just because I had not been able to consider the viewpoint of someone else. Looking only through my own eyes.

Sometimes I also found that I assumed just because I had some precedence or experience of dealing with that same person or thing in a different setting.

As I started questioning my assumptions and if I had made the correct ones, I started uncovering my own blind sides.

As I started thinking about others, my horizon expanded and I could look at the problem with a fresh pair of eyes.

There’s still a long way to go. After all, the mind has been conditioned to perform in a certain way. But what I do realise is that there’s power in not assuming just because we can or we should.

Sometimes it helps to check ourselves again…

Experience counts.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

How often do we disregard experience and consider that it is not really important? Or take it for granted in a lot of things?

This week, as I was working to get some brand-new IKEA furniture assembled, I realised the power of experience.

As it so happened, we had bought a new table that I wanted to fix. Given that a carpenter was working on some other furniture in our house, I asked him for help.

He was a thorough hand with a lot of experience under his belt. I, on the other hand, being an inexperienced fellow in that field, wanted to exactly go by the book.

So, I opened the IKEA manual and started referring to detailed notes to identify how I should assemble the table. This guy was rather eager to get it done quickly.

Initially I took his eagerness for getting the job done as fast as he could and head back home, since it was already evening. As there were a few other things to take care of, I told him that we can do it the next day and we left it as is.

The next day, I was at work. Once he came in, he just referred to the manual once and understood how to actually put the table together. When I got back, he had done some of it already.

More importantly, he knew how the pieces would fit together and could visualise the joints perfectly. Observing him at his craft, I was amazed.

Then, I realised my folly. I had underestimated someone who lives and breathes this work day and night!

That evening, as we finished assembling the table together, I could sense a satisfaction within his voice. Of having been able to do it without extensively referring to the manual. And of having taught me a lesson.

The next time, when I call someone to get odd jobs done, I ought to remember that they are experts in their field and would know better.

While it’s always good to question and discuss things, it pays to respect experience…