Natural

In the moment!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We were at a school event. Our daughter and her classmates were going to perform in front of their parents.

Seated slightly far away, we were observing the kids performances relatively calmly. When our daughter’s turn came to perform, we took out our mobiles and captured it customarily on video.

Post that day, we haven’t looked at that video even once! And I am not sure if we will ever look at it again.

Except for maybe when the photos app throws it as a reminder, about what happened that day or month back in 2024. Which will be nostalgic and a memory worth preserving.

Or so it seems…

What about the actual event and why we had been there? What about capturing that memory in our hearts when it was actually happening?

That day, as well as every now and then, when there’s something happening worth watching, I see everyone zoom in on their phone cameras. Strategically positioned in front of their eyes or just above, to avoid the swarm of heads in front.

Trying to keep our hands stable, so that the video doesn’t shake, we strive to capture the happening for posterity.

But in that process, I haven’t seen myself enjoy the actual show as much. As much as when I don’t have my phone camera switched on.

Maybe it’s me. I don’t like to double task.

Or maybe it’s my rational mind. Why waste phone memory when I have the actual event captured in my mind and heart?

Or maybe it is the pressure of not doing what everyone else is doing. And how can I not follow societal norms!

Or maybe, it’s the anxiety of losing out on this moment once it’s gone and so capturing it makes more sense.

Or maybe (the last one), I do care about posterity and nostalgia and do want to save these memories forever, for some AI to notify and auto generate albums and slideshows somewhere in the distant future.

I don’t know which maybe is the correct one here. Genuinely.

Maybe (ah!), I ought to think more about when to capture and when to just enjoy what is happening in front of me. My own AI (active intelligence)!!!

Made up, no more!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Mary was staring at the mirror. Looking at the dark spots and the aging lines on her forehead.

Her husband Akshay was standing behind her, admiring her. She appeared contented and he was happy for her.

As they looked at each other, Mary remembered their chat from a few weeks ago…

They had just returned from a party that night and as she sat down to take off her makeup, she realised she didn’t look like herself.

The thick layer of makeup had made her look younger, yes. But it had also given her an almost artificial cover. It was as if there was a thin sheet of plastic on her body, hiding her true self.

She reflected on her last twenty five years of having been used to putting makeup. That had started after college and while it was good for as long as it lasted, after almost turning fifty, she didn’t want to look all dolled up anymore.

She told Akshay in a straightforward manner, not wanting to put it nicely. To her surprise, he took it positively and encouraged her.

His words still echoed in her mind, “It’s not that you’re younger any more. Everyone knows this. So, why pretend if you’re not comfortable with it?”

The next week, as they were dressing to step out for a family get-together, she decided to skip any makeup.

When she got ready, she went up to Akshay. He saw her and knew she had taken his advice seriously. He smiled and hugged her. She looked much more graceful to him suddenly.

The next few days, Mary was very conscious about not putting on any makeup every time she went out. There were few compliments but she also knew that a few people were taking behind her back.

She didn’t get discouraged though. In her heart she knew she didn’t want to prove anything to anyone and was following her own mind. That confidence showed through in her and carried her forward.

Then, after a couple of weeks, it became natural for herself to not think about going out without makeup. And as time progressed, it became usual for people around her to notice her without makeup always.

They slowly started respecting her choice, more so for the move of looking natural. She could sense there were no more ‘behind-her-back conversations’ and she was accepted as she was.

And even if there were any murmurs, she didn’t care about them anymore. She was a free bird again, radiating from every pore of her body.

It was as if in those few weeks, she had rewritten the rule book on how other people perceived her!

Authentic Self

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Most times, we aspire to reach new heights and break new grounds. Sometimes however, we go about them in a manner that makes it hard for us to achieve them.

Today, while hiking with my daughter and having a conversation, this fact suddenly wound me up.

As we started walking again after a short stop, my mind first went back in time to 2012. I had started my own business and was setting it up. This meant that I had to take care of everything. While a few of those things came naturally to me, I struggled initially with selling.

You see, I had never done any kind of sales until that time. I viewed myself as an introvert and therefore when initially I failed, I thought it was due to my nature. But then, under pressure to move things, I took it upon myself to change approaches, try new product pitches, new methods to close the sale, and so on. Without much luck.

Then, after a couple of frustrating months, it hit me. I was failing not because I didn’t try enough but because I was trying too hard. And it showed in my effort, which didn’t appear natural or aligned with who I was as a person.

With this realisation, I changed my approach. Instead of adopting new techniques suggested by others, I went through the entire sales process and shaped my own unique approach. I started being more natural in front of my clients. And slowly, that started getting me desired results.

My thoughts then cut to 2016 as we kept moving through the trail. After closing down my business, I had moved on and taken up a job. As a consultant, it was a new industry for me.

I initially tried to adopt approaches that had worked with other people in the firm. While that worked in some cases, it didn’t give me desired results at all times. Looking back at my experiences, I soon realised that I should do what naturally comes to me.

So, I tweaked my approach and started to bring my own natural, whole self in front of my clients and stakeholders. As I did that, I started seeing better results and outcomes. And that helped me succeed in my role.

Eventually, as we reached the last leg of the hike, my mind forced me to reflect on the present and a conversation I was having with my coach this week.

We were discussing about my goals and talking about what I need to do to get there. As we went into more details and she helped me peel the layers, it gave me some direction about where I should be heading.

I had been thinking about that discussion for a couple of days, trying to draw out the next steps and a plan. Today, as these two experiences flashed in front of me, I realised that I must build on a plan but keep it natural.

For, what is more important is to always project my natural self and be authentic. At work. Or in life. Only then can I expect to stand out. And be successful.

Lesson learnt again…