Social Media

Socially awkward?!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Joy was upset. It seemed like the worst day of his life!

He had woken up with different hopes. After a day when he had given his all to make his dance performance at the annual bash a success.

Last evening, after the performance he had received a good reception from the crowd, consisting of his college friends and their families. So, naturally he thought he had done well and had posted the recorded video on YouTube.

He had then shared the video on all his social media feeds and was expecting more comments from his circle. In anticipation, he logged in to see the comments and likes. He had got some love from a few of his friends.

Somehow, however, the video had also found traction with a different group whom he wasn’t connected to. And there were some nasty comments on his feed. He was being trolled for his movements and for imitating a famous dancer.

This didn’t sit well with Joy. He took his social media presence very seriously and had been angling to amass new followers. Such trolling could do his reputation harm and make him feel awkward.

He didn’t know what to do. He thought of multiple options, including taking down the video, in the first couple of hours.

Not convinced entirely, he then called some of his friends and sought advice. He even researched online on how to handle bad comments.

All this had worked him upto a frenzy by the evening and he was sitting upset in the balcony. There were a few children playing cricket down in the community area, but he was in no mood to enjoy. He sat there sulking.

As he watched from the balcony, something interesting happened. One of the kids, who was batting, had been slow to start. He was normally a good batsman, Joy knew him. However, due to his poor form today, some of his teammates started calling him names.

The boy, even though hearing everything, chose to ignore. He just focused on his batting. It took him longer than usual, but ultimately he broke the shackles and runs started flowing again. The other teammates who were hooting him, shut down now. After the game, they all shared in the revelry of victory.

As Joy watched this play out in front of his eyes, he realised bad form or a bad day was just a passing phase. If one doesn’t take it to heart or feel awkward about it, it didn’t affect as much. It was he who was making the day worse by sulking about it.

After all, social media was a means of connecting with others and being engaged. One bad post or some trolls couldn’t take away his hard work. Or the fact that he was happy about his performance. Their judgement shouldn’t have made him feel awkward.

He decided to leave things as is and didn’t respond. He also continued with his life normally. After a couple of days, seeing no engagement or infuriated responses, the trolls shut down.

The phase passed. The lesson remained. There was no awkwardness…

Well Informed or Well Read???

~ Rishi

The newspaper guy knocked on the door. Bill time, I said. My wife made a mild protest – why buy a newspaper when you can read things online or use phone apps. Valid argument. But then, there are pros and cons to everything.

As I paid the newspaper bill, I muttered why it feels better to read a newspaper. But there’s been something else that’s been behind my urge to continue with a newspaper in this digital era.

And no, it’s not the idea that I need to hold a paper and read it as part of my morning routine – I ain’t the paper types – have switched to Kindle instead of stocking books long back.

There was a time in between when I had moved to online/apps to get my daily dose of news and views. Twitter was exciting and fun with instant views and counter-views. And of course, there were the numerous apps from all news channels and publications that I read on a daily basis.

But as I spent time on those news apps and on social media to get my fix in the intervening years, it slowly dawned upon me that I was also wasting a lot of time being led astray or just being consumed in the news world. Using these apps a couple of hours a day was fanning an addiction within me to stay connected and up to date on what’s happening across everything in the world, just because it felt good. And it was taking me away from reading meaningful stuff and instead cluttering my mind with things that weren’t really required to be there.

So, after those years in digital news Lala-land, last year I decided to reduce my screen time on these apps. I deleted all but one of those news apps from my phone. I looked at all the sites that I visited often and chose a handful that offered me real, meaningful stuff and subscribed to their newsletters. And I absolutely cut down on reading news on social media.

Now I login to the news app for reading about once or twice a week. I still login to social media everyday but to wish birthdays, look at what my connections are up to, and to connect in a real sense. But my dose of news now comes from the newspaper – concise and once a day. It keeps my perspective fresh without urging me to know everything that’s happening instantly.

The benefit – I have started reading much more of the meaningful stuff. From the newsletters/digests I get. From platforms like Wired and Inc42 and Medium. I have gone back to reading books on diverse subjects and broadening my horizons.

This has perhaps made me aloof from the social media and the incessant views and opinions on almost everything. But it has definitely brought back some semblance into my life.

Well, the reason for this rant is two-fold – I was today running through Twitter and felt the urge to hop into those views and counter-views but remembering my decision, stopped short and was forced to think on the subject. On a different note, I met someone yesterday who reads 100 books a year and as I was reflecting on the conversation with him, it occurred to me that how the number of people who are reading have increased but it’s got more to do with the urge to be informed than being knowledgeable.

And I had to write about how I escaped that spiral. About how the switchover has been a real life changer for me by decluttering my mind space. And in today’s fast world of numerous commitments and stress, that’s definitely been a relief.

As I close this piece, I hope that we all read and learn better and grow in our chosen paths to become well-read and not just well-informed.

The many groups I belong to! And what social media made me realise…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I have been a frequent mover all my life!

It started with my father’s transfers which was pretty much every 3 years. So I changed schools 6 times during my elementary education. Then I joined the Army and traveled to 2 more places. Then 2 more for my MBA. My job took me to 2 different places. And I am at a new place as I write this!

It was really cumbersome during childhood to make friends in new places. I did not have a dedicated friend circle with whom I grew up. And it kind of riled me sometimes.

But it gave me a distinct advantage – I have many groups I belong to. And as I have grown up, I realised this subconsciously – the more the number of groups I belonged to, the more I grew in life. But the realisation hit home recently when I inadvertently became a part of a high school group on WhatsApp.

As it happened, during our high school days we were a small gang of boys and have stayed in touch through all our life. Some great friends there! But we had no girls in our group! Quite surprising, when I come to think of it now! Don’t ask me why, I’m yet to figure out! 🙂

Anyways, we all got onto this new group with a bunch of girls (now ladies) whom we had studied with. We had been connected on FaceBook and other mediums but never interacted much.

It all changed the last couple of weeks. In fact, talking about this group here seems funny because just a couple of weeks ago half the people in there were almost strangers to me!

The girls have gone on to play some awesome roles – enterprising housewives, doctor, consultant and above all as a mother. And the guys are all pretty settled in their respective family lives. But in the past couple of weeks, we have discovered a funny side to ourselves…

We laugh and banter with each other on silly things, as if high school days are back. We take digs at each other knowing fully well no one will be offended. We share our family’s moments within the group and have formed a mutual admiration society in between ourselves talking about myriad things. It has given us new friends to share our joys and sorrows with. In fact, we wonder why we did not interact even a 100th of what we have done over the last 2 weeks!

It was perhaps meant to be now! While we were all busy in the humdrum of our lives, we were missing the fun and joy and smiles that only childhood friends can bring on. And for all we are worth, we are all much more happier these days, enjoying and reliving those memories of our childhood and becoming kids again…

And its the same across all groups – be it family or friends! Social media has bought us all closer on an informal level that nothing could. It has given us the freedom to express and associate with and learn from each other.

The positive impact these interactions have, far outweigh the time spent on social media. I feel we all owe it to the social media revolution engulfing our lives, where we all are connected and share our happy and sad times with others. Otherwise, in our cocooned existence in today’s world, its easy to become lonely and get lost!

I am sure there are more surprises in store in the future as social media evolves! As Martin Buber said “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”, so I move along, ready to experience new things and enjoy the old times with my numerous groups!!!