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The Alter Ego

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Curtains lift up. There are two characters on stage. Abdul and someone who looks just like him.

Abdul: I have never felt this strong an urge to act. I need to take this plunge now and do something on my own.

His alter ego: Seriously? You are already doing so well in your current job with this company. Why would you want to change that?

Abdul: I have been working for so long, if I want to try something, the time is now. It may be too late otherwise.

His alter ego: Precisely. It is already late buddy. You don’t stand a chance in front of these youngsters.

Abdul: I don’t think so. I have an idea, I can build a business out of it.

His alter ego: What about the income you have coming regularly? That’s savings for your retirement kitty. Once you retire, you can then do whatever you want to.

Abdul. But I feel I am passionate about this idea and can make a difference. Besides, I have enough savings to live a decent life. In the end, if nothing works, I can resume in a job anytime.

His alter ego: And you think it will be a piece of cake? You will have to sacrifice many things. Your current lifestyle will have to be curtailed, which no one in the family will like.

Abdul: Oh, right. I didn’t think about that aspect.

His alter ego: See, I am your friend. If you listen to me, you will be safe!

Abdul: What if I talk to my family and tell them about my desire to do something of my own? I have been doing so many things for them, they ought to understand my needs too.

His alter ego: Why don’t you actually think out loud about what you want to do and find if it makes sense?

Abdul: Yes, why not? It wouldn’t hurt telling my friends and family about my idea and seeking their opinion.

His alter ego (smiling mildly): Now we are talking. Let’s do this comprehensively, and then we can take a calculated decision.

Abdul: Cool, let’s revisit the decision in a few months after I have evaluated everything.

His alter ego: Also, let’s remember, we are not going to do anything rash. Only if there’s a solid plan, will we move ahead.

Abdul: You’re right. I better be sure. I cannot jeopardise anything or anybody.

His alter ego: Back to work then, it’s time to start preparing for the office trip now, we’re out for this week. Once we come back, we will plan further.

The curtain closes. Another day in Abdul’s life…

Back to the Future

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The future is a subject of intense speculation…

It is scary. It is promising. It is unnerving. It is what we think it is.

But we plan for it with all our gusto. We lay out theories and approach it with a kind of certainty.

However, the reality is that we don’t really know what it holds in store for us. And specially for our kids.

As I was thinking about this last bit, a couple of conversations popped in my mind. With colleagues and friends about how things will be for our kids.

To make some sense to myself, I looked back to when I was a child. And how things have evolved.

Last 40 years have seen such rapid progress that most of us weren’t able to fathom back then. And yet, in our lifetime, we have seen so much change.

And that was magnitudes higher than what happened in the last 60-80 years!

If I apply the same logic, the progress over the next 10-20 years will be almost equivalent to what happened till now in my lifetime.

In such a scenario, those aspects of life that I hold true now, will they continue to remain relevant?

The society won’t be the same for sure. Bonds and relationships in the new generation will most likely evolve to be very different.

Work will exist but in probably different forms. There may be more reliance on technology, higher order work hopefully.

So, it seems to me, it is best to prepare our kids for a future which is most likely going to keep evolving. And will rapidly change. And get them to adjust and evolve with it.

We cannot be sure the degrees we hold or what are relevant today will continue to be relevant for our kids10-20 years from now.

We cannot be sure about how their subsequent work life will link to what they are studying.

What we can be sure of is that if we prep them up well, they will likely tide over those changes and be successful in life.

And that to me is the challenge we, as parents, must be prepared for!

Moving Places

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We started off as nomads. Adventurous people, living for the moment.

Then, somewhere along the way, we settled down. And became comfortable. With the knowns.

Somewhere, within the economic rhythm of different times, we got the notion that if we settle down and keep working our way through, we will eventually get where we want to.

But what we missed noting is that as our comfort converted into inertia, we got too naive. About other places. About other people. About other cultures. And most importantly about how that newness enriches us.

True, the world has become more globalised. We are travelling far more. People are moving places more than they ever did before.

But are we using that as an opportunity to create that wealth of experience for ourselves? Are we among those people who are ready to have some adventure in life, unsettle a little, experience the wild (not literally always)!

This week, as I started to figure out how to wind up things before a planned relocation, I came across this realization.

Most of us, including myself, in seeking steadiness, have become staid in our lives. We eschew the unknowns, confine to the tried and tested, and smirk at discomfort of any kind.

Even if we face some displacement, there are lot of anxieties that crop up within us. We tend to overanalyse impending changes a lot and weigh too much on pros and cons, to the detriment of our own sanity at times.

It doesn’t need to be so though.

If we just look at life as that adventure that’s waiting to give us a ride, and take ourselves slightly lightly, we will realise that any change is for the good. It always helps uncover things that we didn’t know about ourselves.

And while transitioning through that period of change is cumbersome and not necessary, the process itself yields benefits beyond what we can perceive at the beginning.

Easier said than done, however. Speaking about it from self experience…

Perhaps, the only way out is to believe and roll with it!

Capacity or Constraint

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It seems like a long time ago. The year was 2002 and I was lodged in the Military Hospital (MH), Pune.

I had an injury in my cervical spine and was admitted and then transferred to MH Pune for treatment, as it was known for doctors specializing in orthopedics. There were quite a lot of us in that hospital then. Cadets from the National Defence Academy, Indian Military Academy, commissioned officers from different regiments and corps, non-commissioned officers from all ranks. Everyone who had some complication with any of their bones or joints inevitably landed up there.

With my robotic neck movement (it had been reduced severely due to the injury), I made some good friends within that circle. We used to have a lot of fun talking to each other, hearing stories, reading books, playing cards, and so on. What else could we do being in a hospital, all alone with only each other to take care for.

Apart from the many things we did in those days, I distinctly remember one observation. There were a lot of repeaters among us – people admitted repeatedly for the same injury/dislocation/fracture. We were looked upon with amusement by some others. But the thing to note was, many of those whom I met with such repetitive injury occurrences had one thing in common. They had all got used to living with their injuries.

For some it was shoulder dislocation or wrist or elbow dislocation. They would come into the hospital, get their treatment, get their joint back in shape, and go back. A couple of particular cases, which were very severe, had reached a point where the person could himself reset his wrist / shoulder and put the dislocated joint back into the socket…

Howsoever these people, including me, had got used to our often repetitive nature of injury/pain, it was viewed by us (and I am sure by others) as increased personal capacity to bear/handle/live with pain, but also as a constraint that limited our options within the armed forces.

While after a few such occurrences and the non-healing nature of my cervical spine injury led to I moving out on medical grounds, some of them I am sure continued and served out their full terms. What must not have changed though is the capacity vs. constraint dichotomy, which exists at least in my mind.

As I reflected on these thoughts in one of my quieter moments this week, I realized that there are other aspects in our life that place us in this dichotomy. There are many things that we have a great capacity for but some of them also constrain us.

High capacity to do the best in everything and achieve perfection constrains us from moving fast and breaking things. Or having the capacity to work well with everyone constrains us to sometimes not be our authentic self. Or capacity to assimilate knowledge and process it quickly at times constrains us from accepting the viewpoint that others may have.

Similar is the case with organizations. Capacity to endure mediocrity constrains output. Or capacity to do multiple things constrains focus on those streams which could transform the landscape. Or capacity to continuously succeed at any costs constrains the culture and how people feel about each other and their work.

The bottomline – as we move ahead in life, some of the capacities that we have developed also lead to constraints on other related aspects. We constantly live in such dichotomies and cannot escape them.

What we can do though and is important is to recognize which of those constraints are necessary to be removed. And then moving forward to remove them, even if it means developing a new understanding or unloading some of our capacities!

I Don’t Know it All…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I had a dream. I knew nothing about what was happening. I was clueless about my surroundings. And I was blissfully unaware of the people around me.

Yet, in some strange way I felt wonderful. I didn’t know it all!

In my daily life, I have often come across people claiming to know it all. And then most of us pretend to know it all. And act as if we are the authority on any given subject.

Now I am not an expert on people’s behaviour or anything related to psychology. I am guessing this is how most of us are programmed in our society.

If you don’t know something you are considered ignorant. If you don’t get involved, you are considered cold. If you stay away, you are termed arrogant.

And so everyone is a know-it-all.

But then, what about genuinely not knowing stuff?

I don’t know a lot of things a lot of times. And I have started accepting it. I deliberately take a step back and leave it to the others, who are experts at it, to accomplish what I can’t.

And it has simplified my life!

Having the understanding deep within that I don’t have to do everything makes me feel lighter. It helps me to declutter my mind and focus on the few things which I am good at. Or what I can reasonably accomplish.

I feel if I can do even a bit of what I want to accomplish, I will feel good. So, hopefully this new strategy will pay off and I will accomplish more.

Alas, peeping into the future is not my speciality!