Some might equate it with jokers but for those who haven’t had the privilege of watching a circus (yes, it’s a dying business), just the word ‘behroopiya’ would be good enough to explain what I want to convey here.

In all walks of life, in all circumstances, you come across people putting up “unnecessary facades” – gestures/acts not at all required but for sounding prim and proper. You would always hear people saying “Yes, that sounds great!” when in fact you might have uttered a crap-load; just smiling, nodding and agreeing with you rather than putting you in the right place; sounding hollow and placating in order to avoid a confrontation; being so-called socially adaptable in your face only to say bad things behind your back.

In fact, people are adept at making others feel comfortable. Oh, you know, it does not sound good to be transparent or blatantly forthcoming to others! Some people mention being ‘straight forward’ as one of their weaknesses – “I think I am rather direct with people and get into uncomfortable situations … I am working on it by thinking before speaking my mind out or reacting blah blah blah…” And of course, it is social impropriety to behave in any adverse manner!

This might be more prevalent in certain parts that are famously out-spoken or fashionably subtle and you would find heaps of stories and chuckles (about how this particular region behaves)… But it is a behavior practiced almost all across the world. From the US of A to the Kangaroos of Australia, it finds prominence in the modern society.

On one end, you see politicians and celebrities almost on the border of perfection in all their appearances. On the other, some of the uneducated/down-to-earth/innocent people, away from the glaring public eye are called the unsophisticated tribe who speak their mind! If someone is forthcoming, we like to rip them apart for transgressing our social norms and being blatant – “how could he do this?”

But the phenomenon is not limited to social behavior. Look at politics – false promises, hollow measures… Look at films and media – always the epitome of such behavior. Look at sports – people being more concerned with how they look and how they speak/behave rather than playing… It’s all over and is fast consuming one and all. Even small-town people and villagers try and be sophisticated and ‘prim and proper’ now-a-days!!!

I was wondering why does this happen? What makes us go into this complicated shell and build unnecessary facades? It occurred that this seems to be a modern phenomenon probably less in vogue in the rugged old word where you were taken on your face value and judged by your actions rather than appearances! And it is only growing in the new-age social-media led world.

Thinking through, I realized that it starts off from our childhood days. We train children to behave in this manner right when we start grooming them. We teach them how to be ‘prim and proper’ so that we are not embarrassed in front of others during social parties or get-togethers. Then, as the child grows up, we advise him to learn the worldly ways and behave with sophistication – “you never know beta/beti, whom you might come across and be in need of in future”. So naturally, by the time the child reaches adolescence, he/she is groomed into the accepted social norms. And off they take to make the world a more subtle place…

But the question remains – why do we need to get into unnecessary facades – can we not be ourselves and truthful? Can we not just say whatever comes to our mind and act according to what we think is correct? Do we actually need to please all people or be content with our actions and take the forth-rightness in our stride?

Just think about it – if all become one, we probably would find the world to be a much better place – with all false promises removed, all diversionary measures dropped and all hollow talk being replaced by fruitful action; all posturing being substituted by concrete talk and results; all lovey-dovey things being consumed by reality. And that would probably be the time when you could talk to me and tell me that I am boring you like hell with such a post and with this blog!