2021 has started and so have a lot of us with new resolutions, commitments, plans, and goals. The last year was a mixed bag with its share of highs and lows. But one thing that I realised it had in common for a lot of us was a mismatch in expectations.

So while traveling back after the year-end vacation, after this reflection crossed my mind, the train of thoughts ran in related directions. And as I reached home, I firmed up what I ought to focus on in this new year.

Setting right and realistic expectations!

Over the last few years, I have set up some expectations with everyone – be it family or friends or colleagues. And while these expectations are a natural result of what my experiences have taught me over the years, I realised that sometimes they aren’t aligned well, resulting in heartburn or disappointment. Hence the following resolutions…

With my spouse, I have often had expectations of she understanding me completely without me being explicit about the subject matter. Though there is the old school love and understanding that this thought stems from, and it does feel good when it happens, I realise that its not always possible for her to read my mind and I ought to be more communicative sometimes. That I believe will not only help us understand each other better, will also allow us more talk, which is always a wonderful tool to bond.

With my daughter, I have at times tried to make her behave like a grown up and does things like I want her to do. Again, it is a desire to make her do right things. But at times, it leads to curbing her playfullness or fun. And so, I will henceforth let her be her normal self at all times and enjoy her childhood, while willing myself to accept her actions and reactions as a child rather than as an adult.

With my parents, I expect them to listen to me now that I have grown up. But I sometimes forget that they have brought me up and know better than I do and more importantly, have their own world view which I ought to respect. Therefore, I will change my expectations to ensure that I let them choose and decide for themselves, while offering all help I can to make their life as comfortable as it can be.

With my family members and friends, I expect that we stay in touch regularly. But that expectation is for me to also live up to. And to ensure that I communicate with them as much as I can to stay connected and meet that expectation on both the sides.

With my junior colleagues, I have expected them to be able to match my wavelength and do things in the way I do them. I have also expected that they understand what I am doing or why I am doing so. But I realise that each individual is different and as long as they are positively inclined to contribute, I should let them go ahead in their fashion and guide them to the best possible outcome. Hence, going forward I will let them be in the driving seat more and more, while providing the support that is needed. And I will communicate more and convey my thoughts to them appropriately to ensure that we are better aligned at all times.

With others, I expect them to believe me with all sincerity, while at times not setting the stage for that belief to be formed. I also expect them to be honest with me. So in 2021, I am going to act more sincerely and try to build bonds and relationships wherever I can, automatically leading to that belief and honesty in conversations and actions with whomsoever I may deal with.

With such a long list, I am not sure whether I am expecting too much of myself. But then, new year resolutions are meant to be taken to stretch oneself. Hopefully, I will be able to live upto my own expectations!!!