Author: Rishi

Socially awkward?!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Joy was upset. It seemed like the worst day of his life!

He had woken up with different hopes. After a day when he had given his all to make his dance performance at the annual bash a success.

Last evening, after the performance he had received a good reception from the crowd, consisting of his college friends and their families. So, naturally he thought he had done well and had posted the recorded video on YouTube.

He had then shared the video on all his social media feeds and was expecting more comments from his circle. In anticipation, he logged in to see the comments and likes. He had got some love from a few of his friends.

Somehow, however, the video had also found traction with a different group whom he wasn’t connected to. And there were some nasty comments on his feed. He was being trolled for his movements and for imitating a famous dancer.

This didn’t sit well with Joy. He took his social media presence very seriously and had been angling to amass new followers. Such trolling could do his reputation harm and make him feel awkward.

He didn’t know what to do. He thought of multiple options, including taking down the video, in the first couple of hours.

Not convinced entirely, he then called some of his friends and sought advice. He even researched online on how to handle bad comments.

All this had worked him upto a frenzy by the evening and he was sitting upset in the balcony. There were a few children playing cricket down in the community area, but he was in no mood to enjoy. He sat there sulking.

As he watched from the balcony, something interesting happened. One of the kids, who was batting, had been slow to start. He was normally a good batsman, Joy knew him. However, due to his poor form today, some of his teammates started calling him names.

The boy, even though hearing everything, chose to ignore. He just focused on his batting. It took him longer than usual, but ultimately he broke the shackles and runs started flowing again. The other teammates who were hooting him, shut down now. After the game, they all shared in the revelry of victory.

As Joy watched this play out in front of his eyes, he realised bad form or a bad day was just a passing phase. If one doesn’t take it to heart or feel awkward about it, it didn’t affect as much. It was he who was making the day worse by sulking about it.

After all, social media was a means of connecting with others and being engaged. One bad post or some trolls couldn’t take away his hard work. Or the fact that he was happy about his performance. Their judgement shouldn’t have made him feel awkward.

He decided to leave things as is and didn’t respond. He also continued with his life normally. After a couple of days, seeing no engagement or infuriated responses, the trolls shut down.

The phase passed. The lesson remained. There was no awkwardness…

Action, Camera, Lights…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Another year went by. A new one has started.

Many of us have plans for the next twelve months. Or at least we think we do.

But do we pause and think if the order of things makes sense? And is that enough for us to achieve what we aim for?

Or are we rushing through the process, forgetting what comes first – lights or action?

Some of these thoughts crossed my mind as I spent the last week introspecting how the last year went by and what I should aim for in this new year.

I did a lot last year. Both on the professional and the personal front. A few things tick marked. There were a few misses but overall it was a good year.

A lot of learning happened. But one of the things that stayed with me was the process adopted and the results achieved.

There were times when I took a shortcut, either to get frustrated later on or through results that weren’t satisfactory or sustainable.

And then, there were cases when I adopted the right approach, and got to satisfactory and sustainable outcomes.

This happened in both my personal and professional life.

And as I saw where I was led to in either case, it became clearer that if I intend to achieve long-term success, I must do the right things at the right time. Rolling the camera without the lights won’t make much sense.

So, as 2026 begins, my one single resolve is to stick to a plan and make it work in the right manner. If I do that enough no. of times and for long enough, I should see some success…

Lights. Camera. Action.

Reliving a lived experience.

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There are moments in life which we relish and often remember. In the hope that we could relive them again or at least feel the same way again.

And then there are experiences which shape us. They may not necessarily be in the earlier category but are important to us as an individual.

This last week, I had an opportunity to relive a lived experience, one that fundamentally shaped me.

It was a visit to the Indian Military Academy, which I graduated from more than two decades ago. Those were the most formative years in my life, joining the Academy as an eighteen year old.

Thanks to a course mate, who was able to get a tour arranged, I visited the institution along with my family. As the assigned staff member took us around, I recounted some of my experiences to my wife and our daughter.

It was poignant to walk the same corridors once again. Now as a civilian, but with the same proud feeling of being able to walk there.

It was nostalgic to visit the rooms and stand in the same place I spent countless days in. And feel a little bit of what I went through in those days.

It was reliving memories filled with bitter sweet moments as I saw other parts of the academy. The playgrounds, the practice areas, the places I used to go past every day.

It was a reminder of how much things have evolved. The staff member was kind enough to detail how many things had changed from those days to now, and we compared them with what we used to do. They ought to be, in two decades.

It was fun to recall some of my experiences and share them with my family, as we zipped past some of the best and worst memories of the days lived there.

Finally, as we completed the tour and bid farewell to the staff member, driving out on the main road, I felt a tinge of sadness within myself. For the entire tour had ended in a couple of hours and my journey of reliving the lived experiences had ended.

I was overwhelmed thinking about how much time had passed since those days. At the same time, I was thankful that I got this opportunity.

Enough for me to carry fresh impressions of my days spent in that place so many years ago…

Immersive Experiences

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Some happen by chance. But most happen by design!

This weekend, I watched a movie that I was completely immersed in.

As I emerged out of the movie hall, I was trying to figure out what made the movie tick for me. And why the long length didn’t bother me as much.

As I thought about the overall experience and my connection with the movie, I realised that I felt it was immersive because at no point did the storytelling slack.

Then, as I compared it with some of the best books I have read, it occurred to me that those also had a style of storytelling that felt as if I was transported into that world. And within that experience, it was as if I was living it.

In fact, most of such immersive experiences are designed in a manner that the storytelling draws the listener or audience in, hooking them into the narrative, making them as a part of the story.

Having started my experiments with writing over the last six years, I must admit that it is very hard to do. On my best days also, weaving the tale together to make it compelling is an extremely difficult task.

Naturally, there are very few of these experiences that immerse us completely. But the ones that do, leave us with a sense of wonder and concern. Wonder about how it all panned out and concern about the characters.

That’s why I feel that storytelling is about the characters and how their interconnections are explored and structured!

What I am sure of though, is that the immersion is an outcome of design. And the design is always in the hands of the creator…

Assumed assumptions!

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We like assuming. In fact, we love to assume and move forward.

A lot of times those assumptions are just those. Assumptions. Without any rhyme or reason.

But because we like to keep things simple and probably see them through our own eyes only, those assumptions are valid and reasonable.

But what if that isn’t true? What if we could do much better not assuming those assumptions?

Over the last few weeks, as these thoughts ran in my mind, I started observing. How I was reacting and deciding. And how others around me did the same.

There were times when I found my assumptions to be convenient for me. Because I didn’t want to go through the hard work of finding the right details.

Often times when I was assuming something, it was so just because I had not been able to consider the viewpoint of someone else. Looking only through my own eyes.

Sometimes I also found that I assumed just because I had some precedence or experience of dealing with that same person or thing in a different setting.

As I started questioning my assumptions and if I had made the correct ones, I started uncovering my own blind sides.

As I started thinking about others, my horizon expanded and I could look at the problem with a fresh pair of eyes.

There’s still a long way to go. After all, the mind has been conditioned to perform in a certain way. But what I do realise is that there’s power in not assuming just because we can or we should.

Sometimes it helps to check ourselves again…

Personal Achievements

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We as parents are never behind in taking pride in our children and their achievements. Whatever may be the field in which they accomplished something.

But there are only a handful of times when we aren’t expecting but feel pride in our children because of how they proved themselves.

This week was one such experience for both of us…

The occassion was our daughter’s first term assessment and the ensuing meeting with the teachers. When we had got the assessment and read through it, we were surprised by some observations. Some of the other details we read through, not realizing their import.

So, as we went to meet the teachers, there was some amount of apprehension about how our daughter was doing in general. At least within me.

But as we started talking to the teachers, we realized that our daughter was doing much better than what we could gather by reading the report. I was pleasantly surprised!

The feedback we got from the teachers was not only encouraging but also a relief. The little one (well, not so little anymore!) had shown improvement in most aspects of her work through the last few months. From a place of just being ok, she was doing much better.

Hidden inside the earlier apprehension was the question of whether she had adjusted to the higher grade well and is she able to cope up. The revelation was emphatic – she had not just adjusted well, she was doing more than expected in certain aspects.

As parents, that was a moment of pride. I felt as if there was some hidden force that had propelled our daughter to a higher state. My wife felt as if she was coming into her own, well guided all around her.

As we walked out of the school after those meetings, we couldn’t help but smile. Our daughter had gone beyond what we were expecting, and it felt strangely satisfying. As if we had achieved all those things.

Perhaps, that’s how we as parents feel and partake in our child’s world. Their achievements and success feels as personal as anything could…

The Acknowledgement

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Mitul was staring in the dark. She had just finished the day and was lying down in her bed. The lights were switched off.

Apart from an eerie noise from a neighbouring electricity pole, there was nothing she could hear. After all, at 2 am in the morning, most people were asleep.

She tried to shut her eyes, forcing her mind to shut off. But it wouldn’t. Her thoughts weren’t in a mood to stop. After a few minutes, she gave up and opened up her eyes, staring in the dark and recounting the day.

It had all started post lunch at the office town hall two days ago. A small setup, Mitul’s startup was just taking its shape. And she had made it a ritual to address her entire team once a month.

This time too, she had gone prepared. She wanted to appraise the team about some recent wins and setbacks, and take in their feedback. But as the meeting began, a couple of them asked if they could first discuss about some personnel issues.

Mitul had readily agreed. What she heard for the next 45 minutes was various versions of how the team weren’t feeling motivated enough. How there were too many challenges and too few solutions. How things were broken and everyone was feeling overwhelmed fixing them.

Putting on her CEO face, she had listened to everyone patiently, without too much reflecting on her face. Her inner self was in a turmoil, though.

She shelved her plan to share any data with the team, thanked them for the feedback, and promised them to address these questions and concerns in a week.

As she came out, Mitul was shivering. It was as if her entire being was not in her control. She sat herself down at her desk and just continued with the motions for the day. Her mind was already running berserk!

After work that day, she went straight to the park. That’s what she used to do when she wasn’t able to control her mind. She ran ten full rounds to sweat out the angst. It wasn’t enough!

She then went back to her apartment, plonking herself on the couch to work through the problem. Over the next few hours, she alternated between pacing to and fro, standing and drawing at the whiteboard, or sitting down and thinking.

The next couple of days, this pattern continued. Through those two days, Mitul fought with her inner conflicts about what were the right things to fix. It was intense.

But it was she talking to herself. The others were oblivious to what was going on within her.

Now, with two days of sleepless nights, multiple coffees, and numerous rounds of self doubt, here she was, lying in her bed at 2 am. She silently acknowledged that she didn’t have enough answers and needed help.

That acknowledgement helped. She fell asleep and woke up only at 9 in the morning. Her mind was a bit calmer. She felt a bit better. As if, all the worries that she had harboured in the last 72 hours had gone away.

She took a long shower, ate something, and decided to take the day off. She got out of the house, and roamed around the city, soaking in some of her favourite spots.

Then, as she was walking back home in the evening, it occurred to Mitul. She was not alone. Her team was going through a lot, and if she wanted to solve the problems, it was best if she worked with them and jointly found a way out.

It was a revelation. She had always thought of her team as her close circle but somehow, she had not trusted them enough to work together and figure out solutions. It was as much their company as it was hers…

That night, Mitul slept well. She knew, she still had to find the answers. She was aware that the road ahead would be tough. But she also knew that she could depend on her team to work together for the answers. They were on the mission together!

The Balancing Force

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This is one of the most intriguing questions , I think. How do you balance one side with the other.

And when it comes to relationships, it becomes all the more necessary. How do you achieve parity, love, and trust if you aren’t balancing each other?

Last week, I was having a deep conversation with a friend about this subject. We were talking about how the two people in a relationship must balance each other.

As we recounted our own experiences and shared them, I got a reaffirmation that this isn’t an easy thing to do…

Of course we hear about how some couples maintain their chemistry even after a long time and how for some, it dwindles away after a while. But then, chemistry is not just about balance.

We also hear of how one partner sacrifices for the other at times and that helps the two grow. Again, sacrifice must never be only about finding a balance.

And then there are anecdotes of how people accommodate to ensure longevity of the relationship. Again, it does help in getting to a balanced state but cannot be the only reason or outcome of the accommodation.

So, what is it then? As I thought more about this in subsequent days, I realised that the balancing force is not just about yin and yang. It’s as much about how the two come together to harness it.

The two individuals may be the best suited as a couple but if they cannot come together in moments of joy and sadness, in times that are difficult and easy, in places that are known and unknown, then they won’t be able to balance.

The two must not only come together but then join hands to harness the situation to their advantage. If and when they do, the forces balance each other and the outcome is one single, determined action. If and when they cannot or don’t, there is a fallout.

I am lucky to have found my counter-balancing force in my wife. She teaches me, supports me, and has my back. I believe, so do I. And that’s why it’s a strong relationship.

Hopefully, we can all find our balancing force, and if we have found one, stick around to see the magic happen!

The joy of meetings

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Not the ones at work. Well, they can be joyful too at times but aren’t my focus for today…

I mean the times we meet with old friends and how those moments bring us joy.

This weekend, as I spent time in between two office trips, I caught up with a few old friends.

I was meeting one of them after more than five years, so it was obviously nice meeting each other after so long.

And while I had met the other three more recently, they stay outside India and hence it isn’t possible for us to meet often, so I was glad I could make it happen.

Each of these meetings lasted for a couple of hours only but I received so much warmth and happiness from them that it felt like we had spent a lot of time together.

We didn’t do something specifically to have that fun. We didn’t need to. We just sat down, chatted about random topics, shared about our lives and what we have been up to, and enjoyed each other’s company.

It felt like old times because even though we met after a gap, our connection remains strong and there was genuine interest to meet.

There was also mutual appreciation of having taken the time and effort to meet up and we wanted to make the most of it. So, the chats were involved and personal, just like it should be with friends.

Earlier this year, I had met three other close friends after a while. And had similar observations and experience.

I guess it is because all of these were meetings with long time friends, and we genuinely wanted to meet, we took time to enjoy each other’s company. But I am sure that even if we meet frequently, that joy will still remain.

Because after all, long time friendships are what stand apart even in today’s hustle culture. And remind you of who you really are…

Toddler days…

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There is a child within all of us. I have heard it often but got reminded about it quite strongly this week…

The last time I had a toddler in my arms was when I spent time with my niece earlier this year. But as it was during my cousin’s wedding, those moments came and went, not completely registering themselves.

This week however the experience was more absolute. We had my brother-in-law and his family over for a few days. His younger son, all of fifteen months, was the center of attraction.

I was meeting him for the second time. The first one was for a short while and he hadn’t started walking then. This time however, he was raring to go.

Having adjusted to the surroundings quickly, he was on the lookout for fun. And I, eager to make friends with him, started playing along. The next three days, as he spent time with us, I grabbed a lot of opportunities to become a child again.

It was amazing. Doing things not worrying about how it looked. Talking in a childish accent or playing kids games with him felt normal. And liberating!

It reminded me of the days I spent with my daughter when she was younger. How I would spend time with her doing things which only made sense to the two of us. How we would find joy in little things, not worried about others in the world around us.

It also reminded me of my own early childhood days. I don’t remember a whole lot of those moments but whenever I hear anecdotes about my childhood, those days feature prominently. Perhaps a reflection of how the memories of early days of our kids get imprinted in our minds.

My daughter, observing the fun I was having, commented that she wished I could be so with her too now. Her feelings touched me deep inside and brought out my guilt.

That guilt prompted a number of discussions around the memories we had when she was younger. Leaving us all laughing and reliving those days.

While I was able to assure her that I was as playful with her as she was observing me being, I also realised that in the flow of life, I have probably become too drab with her generally.

Time for me to change then. She is all of ten, so I still have time to do a lot of fun things with her. And hopefully create many more fun memories for her and us to relive later in life…