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Unique Innocence

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Children are the bedrock of our vision. We do everything keeping them in mind!

We yearn for them when they are not around, live for them to be happy, work to provide them the best of what we can, take care of them at all times, and ensure that we bring them up to become someone who we would be proud of.

However, often, we try and impose ourselves on our children or worse still, try and force them down a path that we wish to choose for them due to whatever preconceived notions or beliefs…

Picture this –

You have a young kid who you figure out is a prodigy in the game of chess. You get him the best teacher you can, take him to multiple tournaments to hone his play and become the no. 1 kid on the chess circuit.

And then, when he comes up short against one tough opponent, you berate him. You realise that you are doing something wrong but you want the kid to win at all costs. To prove that your investment in his future is right.

But the kid doesn’t want to play now. Fearful of this one other prodigal talent, he almost decides to give up. The teacher you have hired tries to force him to learn better and prepare better. But he is not ready to engage.

When you look at this situation – what would most of us do? We would try and sit down the kid and get him back to playing again. In a lot of cases, without worrying about why he is behaving like this or what is the core issue.

Nothing wrong with this approach – that is how we adults are attuned to behave in our cut-throat competitive world…

Except for one – this will be the most insensitive thing to do and will most probably kill the kid’s appetite for learning further.

And will be the end of the dream that we fostered with his spectacular talent! More importantly, it will be a dreadful experience for the child!!!

This week, with so much floating around in the form of negative news, I decided to get some positivity and focused on reading up and watching a couple of good impressionable movies. One of them was ‘Innocent Moves’ on Netflix or titled as ‘Search for Bobby Fischer’ on IMDB (UK and US versions respectively).

It is one of those real-life child prodigy movies and for those of us who have seen ‘The Queen’s Gambit’, released on Netflix recently, it might seem familiar to some degree. Not going by the IMDB rating, I personally found the movie to be a brilliant showcase of various multitudes – parenting, child psychology, parent-children relationship, societal pressures and viewpoints, and so on.

The story I narrated above, is what happens in the movie. Till the intermission. Post that, it flips…

The father realises that he needs to let the kid be and stops talking about chess. Takes him fishing for 2 weeks. Lets him play baseball and other sports. Reasons with himself that it is more important to see his kid happy.

And then the kid picks back his interest in chess and goes back to playing with his buddies in the neighbourhood park. Enough to get the moves back and to go for competition once again, this time beating the other prodigy through the new skills he acquired.

Sorry, if I spilled the beans. But that’s how most movies related to sports play out. So it’s not much of a reveal I hope!

What I found interesting was the soft nudges in a few scenes which showed a different side of how a prodigal talent can be groomed. And all of those scenes inclined towards the humane touch and the unique innocence of children.

How a father chooses to let his kid be instead of forcing his dreams upon the child, how a friend helps him gain his confidence back, how a mother protects him from being thrown into the competitive ring, how a teacher lets go of his ego against a past opponent and understands that the child can go into a match not being his usual confident self, how the child realises that it is more important to make friends than opponents, and finally how he gives the kids he defeated some of the tips and asks them to just try and play without pressure.

There was a lot to learn for me! About what not to do…

How not to take away the innocence from our children. It is better to let them be and grow up naturally.

How not to push our children to do better always. It is ok to not be good in some cases or not up to our expectations.

How not to beat down a child in the case of a failure but to encourage him to learn and grow. Helping him understand that failure is but a stepping stone to success.

How not to force them on the path that we think is best for them early on. Doing multiple things is bound to help them realise their preference and interests and pick up what suits them more later on in life.

How not to push them to turn everything in life into a race and view others as a threat. It is sometimes better to let things float around and let them gain random experiences before they settle down in to a rhythm. And better to make friends than foes.

Lastly, how not to force them to be a competitive machine always but to remember being human in all situations!

Hope to carry these lessons forward as I continue on my journey of being a parent and let my daughter utilise her unique innocence to grow into whatever she desires to be…

Bad News…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Until it happens to us, we don’t realise the importance of it or in some cases, the pain of it!

This week was bad. Lots of unnerving news. The biggest shock for me was though the passing away of a school mate. Someone who I had known to be a decent fellow, always smiling and being friendly to all.

He left the world at an age when you just start shaping up your plans and look to the future positively. With a family in tow. Young children growing up and learning the nuances of the world. Finances in a comfortable position to do some of those things that you couldn’t do earlier.

Then something like this happens. And the air around just deflates. The world seems a dreary place. Dreams get shattered. Families are left behind. All plans burned in ashes. Hopes buried in the ground for the near and dear ones.

All one can do then, is remember. Think of the good in the person and the times spent together, however insignificant. And to think hard about what life means and how to prepare yourself better for such a mishap.

As I wasn’t keeping too well (not Covid thankfully after all tests) and not working to 100% of my abilities, I had some time to think about this loss and the ramifications of how things don’t happen to us until they happen…

We often don’t take things seriously or pay attention to them. Specially when they are in the form of bad news. We always believe others will be affected more than we will be.

Most of the times it is true also. Jobs get lost but often for other people. People die in random situations but mostly we hear it from someone else. Unpleasant things happen but that too to others.

Or if it happens to us, it is devoid of any connections. We may lose a job or a loved one or something unpleasant may happen but that mostly happens in another time and space, something which is very personal and disjointed with others.

Rarely are there events where we get affected enmass.

This pandemic second wave is one such event. Last time, while India was badly affected in the later part of the year, there were not many cases in the vicinity. The fatality rate was lower and at least for me there weren’t many such instances in the known circles.

This time has however been different. There have been so many people I know who have been affected by the disease or have had some mishap in their families. And it’s forced me to rethink…

When something hits you regularly with such magnitude, you are forced to take a pause and pay attention to the severity of it. Rework on your plans, rethink your beliefs, remap your priorities.

It is like high waves crashing and destroying a shack near the ocean. You would have built it painstakingly over a few days but all it takes to be destroyed is a single night.

And so, you rescan and redo your thoughts and then try and make sense of the new world. You try and remain positive to rebuild and grow again but with some wisdom of how not to ignore the leading signs. To take care in the future. And to never believe that it won’t happen to you…

Ready for the best while being prepared for the worst! Hopefully for the worst to never happen.

Life and Success…

~ Rishi ~ 3 Comments

Movies, the good ones, often leave us with afterthoughts. This weekend, as I watched a couple of animated ones with the kiddo (Up and Soul, both Pixar creations and interestingly by the same director), they wound me down a labyrinth!

A labyrinth where I tried to define success – what is it? What does it mean? And how does it look like?

Is it about the outcome or the process?

Is it chasing one’s dreams at any cost and achieving them? Or is it about feeling happy about whatever best we can do?

Is it about having the most (or heaps of) whatever we desire or is it to find inner satisfaction from the outcomes we have achieved?

Is it about working for the future at all times, trying to create a better one? Or finding fulfilment in our present life and enjoying our life to the fullest?

Is it internal or external or both?

Well, as I kept zigzagging between these thoughts, I couldn’t come up to a single aha moment. It was confusing!

Perhaps because we have so many versions of success – people who have had outsized achievements as well as those who have found their true calling and succeeded in whatever they wanted to achieve.

Or perhaps because there are two contrarian points of view – one about how the famous ones have achieved what they have and the other about how to be content with what you’ve got.

Or perhaps because each one of us have our own definitions of what it really means for us to succeed. A definition which keeps changing with times.

I haven’t figured it out yet. What I did figure out was that it is a shifting goal post for most of us. One that keeps us alive and kicking, while providing the impetus to move forward in life.

What’s important is to keep celebrating the small wins, cherishing the good moments, being grateful for our lives and for where we are, and planning forward…

How much is Enough?

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Really…

For us as an individual? Willing to sacrifice our today for a better tomorrow…

For us as a family? Increasingly becoming nuclear and DINK (Dual income no kids) or DIOK (Dual income one kid)…

For us as a partner? Independent financially but more dependent on each other emotionally with not many to turn to…

For us as a parent? Striving to do our best for our kid(s) while struggling with our work life and our own interests…

For us as a son or daughter? Staying away from our parents to pursue our careers and yet longing for them at times…

For us as a professional? Who moves in a materialistic world, from one concrete jungle to another…

For us as a businessman? Trying to achieve our goals while staying afloat and doing better than yesterday…

For us as a person who wants to do so much in life apart from work but has very little time to do those things…

The answer: what are we willing to trade off?

Our lives have a set pattern – school and college life, work life, and then the retired life.

When in school, most of us are taught to focus all our energies on getting good grades so that we can land up a good job. Or at least to pass out well so that we can contribute to the family business, if there is one.

And then, as we enter our work life, we get into the race of life. Constantly trying to outdo ourselves, making ends meet, doing better than others, growing in stature, building a war chest and a fortune, earning name and fame, and finally reaching the highest level we could in a job or in business. Before we retire.

And once we retire, whatever may be the age, we look forward to. To a few of those things we couldn’t do earlier. To make a few trips. To meet a few people. To enjoy our life the way we want to. To be carefree and yet be secured.

After retirement, some of us are lucky to live a long life and have the means to do all of those things we longed for. Most of us aren’t…

However, there are very few of us who ask these golden words to themselves while on this journey – “How much is enough?”. For therein lies the crux of the trade-off that we are willing to make…

For those of us who are able to ask that question to ourselves and find the right answer, the balance of life tilts towards the middle and helps us lead our lives as we want to.

But that crowd is in the minority!

Because, for most of us, that trade-off isn’t worth accepting. Or the timing is not right. Or there are other factors stopping us.

And so we continue in our quests, sacrificing our today, moving to another place, striving to do better. So that we can have a better tomorrow, live life our way, and pursue our interests…

Until we either are willing to make that trade off or retire!

Happiness!

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

It was a bad day. I had made some mistake at work and wasn’t very happy about the matter. It was evident on my face and in my behaviour and made me erratic that day.

I blasted off at home and kept sulking. Until I discovered it was really affecting me inside.

As I rolled back to the start of the entire matter, I realised that the mistake I made was a genuine one and wouldn’t have been possible for me to avoid then, although I now had learnt something in hindsight and possibly shouldn’t be making it again. And as I unraveled the past and discovered that it was fine for me to be frustrated by the outcome but absolutely unnecessary to have taken it so harshly, I realised something for myself.

That I had compromised my happiness and of those around me for a day, when I could have just accepted my mistake and learnt from it and moved on…

I know it is seemingly easy to say so, specially in written words, than to practice it in our daily life.

We set a high bar for ourselves and for those around us. We expect more than it is required sometimes. And we believe things will fall in the right place, as we desire.

But life is not so straight forward. Plans fail. Peoeple fail. Expectations aren’t met always.

And when that happens, which is pretty much everyday in between the myriad things we do in our daily routines, it is disappointing.

Now, some of us have a zen like nature and detach ourselves from the outcome pretty much once the task gets done. But most of us have a tendency to swing between the highs and the lows, depending on how the tide turns. While it is natural as human beings to be disappointed due to these failings, it also deprives us of the small joys of life. And keeps us away from happiness!

Happiness that could have meant a few more smiles on ours and other’s faces. That could have led to a few more nicer conversations. That could have helped us live through the day and the week much more strongly.

Much worse, it actually creates a double void and instead of swinging us to the happy side it makes us sad and takes us to the other extreme. Where we feel desolate and worn out. Where we take down our ship along with those near to us. And demands that much extra effort for us to get back to the normal.

Perhaps, it is because we grew up. Life happened to us!

Because, when I look at children, I realise that they don’t let these swings be so dramatic. Yes, they get upset soon and raise hell sometimes but also mellow down quickly and get back to being happy!

Probably, because they know that whatever made them sad was only temporary and will go away. And that they have others who would take care of them. Or probably because they realise that it is not worth it. It is just better to move on and live life focusing on other things. Finding happiness elsewhere, in something that would be better to do.

May be we just need to stop feeling old and be a child again to be happy more than often…

That Small Town Feeling…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I grew up in small towns in the central state of MP in India. It was fun. It was also a lovely time and a great atmosphere to grasp the worldly ways!

For us, going to school was always a 5-10 min bicycle ride – rushing like hell in the early morning and loitering around with friends to make it back home in 30-40 mins in the afternoon. Many school friends used to stay in the same neighbourhood and were known to families, or in most cases not further than 1 or 2 kms, so going to play with them was also quite easy in the evenings.

Traffic was less. We always had playgrounds and clear paths and roads to walk, run and cycle on. I remember we used to play hide and seek on our bicycles with the entire neighbourhood of 1 sq. km. as the play area, riding like crazy into the various lanes and bylanes. Or played cricket in the bylanes till late without too many disturbances. Or played street games for hours together.

The neighbourhood was always buzzing with community events. People staying in a locality had their own ways of going about their daily lives and mingling with one another, cooperating on every small matter to support each other. Those on evening walks would walk up and down the entire neighbourhood and meet people at designated spots to chat a little. And ofcourse there were the parks and benches around them, filled with all age groups going about their activity of interest.

With everything within accessible distance, everyday chores were never a botheration. Get out and walk or ride a little and we would get to the place we intended to. Markets and shops were known so it was very easy to get things done quickly. And without any mad rush, except for festival times, we could go around and return with all to-do tasks completed in an hour’s time!

There weren’t many cinema halls or entertainment options and with television just starting to catch up and cable/satellite tv just launched, it was a common scene to see people from 2-3 houses huddled into one place to watch the daily soap operas or news or the sunday afternoon movie. In fact, going to the cinema hall was probably a quarterly event, with most of us relying on VCRs and VHS tapes to catch up on movies.

In short, life was simple and stress-free, full of happiness and laughter. Not just for us children but also for adults I observed. People used to be back home by early evening and had all the time to spend with their families. There was more in-person catch-up and it was usual for even uncles and aunties to gather together in the evening in groups for a cup of tea and some chit-chat. Meals were always a full family affair, with everyone enjoying each other’s company and talking about myriad things.

As I look back at those times with fondness, I miss them a lot. All of those small things taught us as children how to enjoy the simple things in life. It taught us the importance of bonding with others and working with people unlike ourselves to meet the common objectives. The community feeling instilled in us a great pride of belongingness and friendship, helping each other in times of need. And all the time spent with others made us care and understand more.

I don’t know about the cities and how they functioned then, but I am sure from whatever I have heard from some of my friends who grew up in bigger cities, they had some of these elements in common. Life was quieter and routines less punishing. And with lesser number of people, they managed pretty well in all the hustle and bustle surrounding them.

As we have grown rapidly over the past few years and urbanized with double the speed, that simplicity has been lost somewhere. Cities have transformed themselves to an always on, rush inducing mesh. Towns have grown bigger and busier. People have moved out or have been displaced, filling old places with new entrants. They have also become less forgiving and more self-focused.

All of this has led to a complete change in the way a child sees the world today. Gone is the simplistic view of the world. Children today grow up watching their parents and family members go through every day stress. They themselves hustle and bustle their way through a day with school, multiple classes, attention divided by personal gadgets, and so on. There is less time for bonding with others and too much time focused on oneself. Communities are a forgotten concept or reduced to small dwellings or apartments. And care and understanding for others has been reduced to a rubble.

It isn’t encouraging. With such a world view that a child sees in her early days, it is but natural for her to be self-focused and less accomodating. She likes to be on her own rather than mingle with others. And with everyone in the house busy with something or the other, it is the loneliness that engulfs her space which reduces the strengths of the bonds she has with her own family.

Time for us to think about the kind of future we want for ourselves and for our kids…

Near yet far…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The highlight of my week was Missus and Daughter returning after a couple of months at my in-laws. It was an anticipated event for some time now, with the return planned earlier this month, but the sheer high of seeing them in person after 2 months was indeed exhilirating.

I met them at the airport and as we spent time talking about all sorts of things on the way back home, it was refreshing to have that familiar buzz back in my life. And it reinforced my thoughts from earlier this week where coincidentally, I had personal conversations with a couple of colleagues and friends around the theme of family and their closely knit nature. We had discussed about how as a family we always strive to stay close and together but sometimes it becomes necessary to move out to a different place for professional or personal reasons. And how that impacts the bonds within the family.

As I reflected back on those conversations and my own experience over the weekend, it occurred to me that most of us by design want to stay close by, in a comfort zone. That allows us to predictably live our lives and be the support system to our family that we want to be. That’s our basic necessity, to be loved and cared for, and to love and care for others we are bonded with.

However, there comes a time (or some times) in our lives, when we are left with no choice but to separate from them for a given period, owing to work or studies or any other personal matters. And when that happens, how we keep that bond strong constitutes a great deal of how the family functions in the years to come.

I have seen it first hand. My father was in a banking job and had to move every 2-3 years. In the initial years of his service, when I was young, he always moved to new places alone, preferring to leave us in our home town with the extended family. Ofcourse it helped that we had a joint family and everyone was closely knit. But I sometimes wonder how he managed to serve his work requirements and still place family on top priority to ensure that they always had him nearby whenever needed. That is one of the reasons why we are still as closely knit as a joint family even today, although everyone stays in different places.

Today, with a better connected world, a lot of us travel and stay for work in a different place, leaving our families behind, as an accepted practice. However, we as individuals or as a society, often neglect the long term consequences of this movement to our family life. Be it the warmth and shelter that a family home provides, or the cosy feeling generated by being near our loved ones, or the simple fact of having someone to talk to, we do miss a lot in life.

Some of these are things that we often let go in our quest for a better life or career. We console ourselves that it is only for a few days/months/years and we will go back to a better life. And with all the communication tools to talk, see and hear each other, it is just like normal. However, it is not the same. Being in person as opposed to being virtually present isn’t always the same thing. Specially, when it comes to families.

With the kind of busy lives we lead these days, as time passes by and everyone gets busy, somewhere priorities shift. Perspectives change. Bonds start becoming weak or breaking up. Until we make an extra effort to keep up the normalcy and the intricate bonds connected. Or we build a ground to stand up on together, near yet far.

Or better still, we move our families (or ourselves) nearer, to partake in the new life we are creating for ourselves and for them…

Special-i-fashion!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Reading books is always special. Even if it isn’t too good a read, you take away something from it. But in a few cases, you read a book that strikes a portion of your brain deeply. And that stays with you for time to come.

This past week, I finished reading a book titled ‘Range’ by David Epstein. It’s about the fundamental premise of what is better – depth or breadth; and the author makes a case for breadth over depth, or range. As I read through, some of the examples stuck a chord…

Now, I am a person who has always valued breadth or range more, which is perhaps the reason for me liking the book more. But as I looked back at my own life and thought through on the experiences, I realised the breadth of experiences I had have helped me shape up to what I am today. And even though some of those experiences were not to my liking, they have nevertheless made me.

That’s true of other friends and acquaintances too. I see that those who have had varied experiences and gone into different directions have a much better point of view on new things and are never hesitant to take upon a challenge. It’s not that they have any more confidence than someone who has been focused on only one subject matter. But somehow, they intrinsically believe in themselves and are ready to try their hand at something new and give it their best shot.

Not to take away from those who focus on depth, I think such people are equally important to have by our side. Whether it comes to medicine, or any other aspect of life where specialization is the key to success, focus on depth is what separates the best from the rest. And in such fields, specialization is what matters the most. However, for the rest of us, normal folks, varied experiences count for much more.

What surprises me the most though is that having gone through a wide learning curve ourselves, when it comes to our children, why do we always try and push them towards some specialization. I have seen a number of parents pushing their child to focus on only studies or only sports or some form of art. There is a lot of noise in the media also with this constant messaging to focus on developing skills in children as early in their lives as possible, which doesn’t help!

Even when children grow up, we try and steer their career choices and push them to take decisions early in life, when they perhaps aren’t ready to decide whether they want to be a specialist or not. And in that haste to get them to settle, we perhaps take away the rich experiences that they could have had on their own.

Or for that matter, our young professionals. I fail to understand the urge for people to specialise early on in their careers. While it may help them get paid more or land a better role/company, it for sure constrains the field in which they can operate in. And while they may achieve all the success through the specialized route, wouldn’t it be better to have a larger field to play in initially and narrow down your choices as you grow along?

As I reflected on these topics and thought through, I realised that it is upon us as individuals to decide how we want to take things forward. For self and for others we are responsible for. While specialization is in fashion, how do we let it wind down it’s own course and take decisions naturally rather than forcing them.

Specially for our children. It is contingent upon us to give them the breadth of experiences that they can get and let them choose their path by themselves. Even if it means they fail a few times. For what is failure if not an excellent teacher!

Perspectives and our Feelings…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are perspectives that we have. About ourselves and our life, about others and their life, about things happening all around us. And then there are perspectives that others have about the same things.

On a recent road trip, with a long journey ahead of us, I engaged in some delightful conversation on myriad things with a friend. One of the things we talked about was perspectives. As I thought about the conversation later on, I realised that a lot of our life is governed by and around these perspectives. And it led to a couple of questions – “Would we have a different life if we change our perspective? And is it a matter of alignment of perspectives that leads to mutual feelings”?

Now, all of us are entitled to ours. That’s what makes us unique. But that is also what defines so much about what we feel and how we feel…

If we talk about our personal life, we base our decisions on what our perspective is about the present or the future. We take decisions based on that – like marriage, family, house, children’s education, what to spend on, and so on. These decisions could lead to further perspectives that may change our outlook but nevertheless each of our decisions are based on our current viewpoint.

Coming over to the professional life also, the decisions to work, to quit, to change a job, to continue, or to take up or shun additional responsibilities is based on the perspective we hold about our colleagues, the company, the outside market, etc.

However, whether in the personal or professional arena, these perspectives and the decisions resulting from them are also a function of what the other party holds. For example, certain decisions can be taken by a husband and wife only if they are both aligned. Otherwise, they would never be able to agree and come to the same conclusion. Similarly, in the case of an employee, her career choices depend on what is the perspective that others hold about her. If there is a misalignment, it leads to the contrary.

A times, we refine our perspective based on what the other party holds. And when that happens, the alignment leads to a joint or mutually convenient decision. For example, to become friends again after a fight. Or to continue in the same job even when you have another offer in hand. This alignment of perspectives leads to a feeling of happiness and progress. Whereas, when we disagree on our perspectives and there is no alignment, it leads to disagreements, disputes, and even separation in some cases. Generating a feeling of sadness and discontent.

Is this the case all around or are there exceptions? I don’t know. I haven’t thought so deeply. But what I did understand is that while we have the power to change our perspective, it is the alignment with others and the feelings it generates within us that we should be watching for. If the feelings are negative for a long time, perhaps it’s time to change. Either our perspective or our life or both!

Individual Identity

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

After having dinner with a couple of friends this weekend, we went over to have a paan (betel leaf preparation). A casual conversation with the store owner bought about a new perspective!

We were standing and discussing about our hometown(s) when the store owner intervened in the conversation and asked us where we were from. That led us to ask him the same question, to which he answered Allahabad. We casually joked with him about the city, stating that it is where Amitabh Bachhan comes from and he must be happy to be from the same city. He confidently replied, “it is not I who is from the place that Amitabh comes from, it is he who comes from my place”!

His confidence was exemplary. Without a trace of hesitation he put across his point of view very simply but assertively. He reasoned that he considers Allahabad as his city, as he grew up there. And whosoever is from there, irrespective of the stature of the person, he considers them from his city and not vice versa.

On my way back, I recalled one such incident that happend with me. During the introduction round of my post-graduate batch, I had mentioned that I was from a town called Khandwa, which is famous as the place from where Kishore Kumar came from. A senior professor later retorted and asked me about why did I feel the need to qualify my hometown as such. I was not sure what led me to making that statement and relation then.

But as I reflected today, I realised it may have been because I wasn’t confident enough at that time about where I came from. Perhaps, looking at others who came from the big cities, I was intimidated. Or perhaps, I felt the need to qualify my statement to help others relate something to my place of origin and recall it later as easily as they would have remembered other places.

It was only later that I became comfortable in my own skin, irrespective of anyone’s presence or background; and confident enough to know that I can stand on my own in any kind of a setting. To see that level of confidence in the store owner today, was a refreshing feeling.

As that conversation played in my mind again and again on the way back home, I felt that this extends to not only something as basic as our place of origin or what is our background but to all facets of our lives. We always try and relate ourselves with people, things, events, etc. In a lot of those cases, we belittle ourselves by choosing to associate ourselves with others just to fit in or to make ourselves relatable. We forget that there is an individual identity we own that makes us unique. That uniqueness defines who we are, with each of us standing out in a crowd, rather than looking all the same.

I believe, the ones who understand this fact faster in life, have an easier existence than those who take time to come to terms with it. Accepting one’s uniqueness frees us from the encumberances of the society and allows us to freely express ourselves. It also leads us on a path where we are not at odds in different settings, helping us to give our best to whatever we are doing. And lets us be.

Hopefully our young ones, who are much more confident in their skin on almost all things, would reverse this trend. After all, individual identity is what we all strive for and what they ought to discover sooner than later…