1

It was a pleasant evening. The first rain showers had just ceased and a cool breeze had started blowing, bringing a respite from the heat of the afternoon. Vineeta had just completed her household chores and wasn’t sure what she should do next.

She always loved petrichor, the earthen smell that emanated from the ground after the first few rains. It was as if the Earth was thanking the Sky for quenching its thirst and reminded her of all things good about nature. June had always been her favorite time of the year just for this reason.

As the smell wafted in, she went out into the balcony and leaned back a little on her garden chair, closing her eyes. For a few moments, the cool breeze hitting her face made her feel relaxed and calm. Then, all of a sudden, events from the recent past started flashing in front of her. That made her shake up and she opened her eyes, as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

She was missing those good old days. When she could be carefree and do whatever came to her mind, spending time with her friends, calling up her cousins at odd hours and chatting endlessly, going shopping to pass her time. Life was so simple and unconstrained then.

2

Vineeta had been brought up as an independent girl. She was always someone who did things on her own and decided what she wanted to do. After passing out of her school and engineering college with flying colors, she chose to be a Data Scientist and while it was a new field, her parents supported her decision. She landed up a job in Bangalore and had been in the Silicon Valley of India for three years, busy with her work at office.

It was on one such day, when she got a call from her Mom to inform her that they had been in discussions with a boy’s family to arrange for a suitable match for her and as the boy was also in Bangalore, it would be good for her to meet him. Vineeta had known about the marriage mindset of her parents for some time and had asked them to go slow for the last 2 years. But she sensed in Mom’s tone that day, an urgency that she could not understand.

It wasn’t as if her parents were forcing marriage on her. They had in fact raised the topic themselves a couple of years back, when she was in her hometown for the year end break. Dad, whom she loved the most in the world, had always prided himself on raising an independent daughter, their only child. He was her biggest supporter, sometimes even fighting with Mom to let Vineeta do things that were considered un-girlish.

Even on that occasion, they had asked her if she had someone as a partner, whom she wanted to spend her life with. They had no apprehensions about caste, age, or the economic background of the boy. Vineeta however had never been able to get into a relationship which would have given her the comfort of converting it into a long term bond. She had a lot of boys who were friends but none whom she considered as that special person. So, she clearly told her parents that there was no one special in her life but she wanted to wait for 2-3 years more before either finding someone on her own or marrying a boy of her parent’s choice.

Mom was taken aback. “You are already 25 my dear, it is the right age for you to get married”, she quipped. Dad, sensing where the conversation would lead to, jumped right in. “Don’t worry Shamita, she is not as old as you make her out to be, let her live her life for a couple of more years. We can easily wait”. Mom wasn’t convinced. “You keep giving her the long rope every time Vinay, this isn’t good. She needs to find someone suitable before all the good boys are taken away by other girls”.

At this, both Vineeta and Dad had erupted into a laughter. They couldn’t hold on and teased Mom on her last sentence. The argument had ended as soon as it had begun, with her Mom joining in the laughter and banter that continued well into the evening that day.

Sometimes Vineeta wondered about Dad’s way of diffusing situations and not letting arguments go on forever. It was an effective approach. Rarely had she seen her parents fight, with most discussions ending calmly or on a light note. They always trusted each other completely, something she so wished for in her partner, whoever that person may be.

That day however, when Mom had called up, sensing the urgency in her voice, she didn’t protest much and agreed to meet the boy. It was already 10 pm on Thursday night and she didn’t want to disturb her or Mom’s sleep. “Better to discuss it face to face next weekend, when I will be home for Diwali”, she thought to herself and switched off.

She got Ramit’s number sent to her the next day and called him up and decided to meet that Saturday in a rooftop cafe. They had a normal conversation and spent a couple of hours chatting about myriad things. She was impressed with his thought process and his respect for others and came back home happy to have met him. Soon after, she had called up Mom and told her all about the meeting. Mom was elated to find that Vineeta had liked Ramit and wanted to proceed with the discussions. Vineeta however wanted some more time and so asked to hold on to any further talks until she was home.

3

The next week passed without much ado. Vineeta was happy that she was going home and will be with her parents for Diwali, her favorite festival. She had not been able to go last year because of a broken ankle and while her friends had made it worthwhile for her to celebrate Diwali, she missed the homely touch. She carefully packed up her things, including the presents that she had picked up for Mom and Dad.

Friday evening, after office, she went straight to the airport, en route picking up some plum cake for her Dad, which he absolutely loved. The flight was 2 hour long and she enjoyed herself during the journey by plugging into her music collection, like always. Those 2 hours as well as the ride home from the Udaipur airport passed quickly, and before 11 she was at her home.

As she rang the bell of the house, she felt an eery silence. She had normally always traveled from the airport to her home alone, so she wasn’t expecting anyone to meet her at the airport. But she did expect the lights inside her home to be switched on and Mom or Dad to open up the door as soon as she rang the bell, like they had been hiding behind the door and waiting for her to press the bell.

When she didn’t hear anyone moving inside, she rang the bell again. No answer. She peeped in from the windows and couldn’t see anything as it was dark. Perhaps they had gone off to sleep, which in itself was strange. Maybe one of them wasn’t keeping well today, although both of them sounded alright when she had called them up yesterday. As these thoughts ran in her mind, she picked up the phone and dialed Mom first. No answer. She then dialed Dad’s no. There was a feeble phone ring from inside the house but no answer.

She started sensing something was wrong. Not knowing what to do, she crossed over to the neighbors and rang their bell. Simmi aunty came out of the house and was pleasantly surprised to see her. She had been a good friend of Shamita and always knew what was happening. Vineeta greeted her and before she could ask her anything, Simmi aunty just hugged her in a tight clasp. It seemed she was sobbing.

Vineeta’s sixth sense was now on high alert. Had something untoward happened? She consoled aunty and slowly asked where her parents were. In a sobbing voice, Simmi aunty could only say that they had gone to the hospital as her Dad was not keeping well. She told Vineeta the hospital’s address and asked her to drink some water, while she called out to her younger son Jasmeet to drop Vineeta to the hospital. Vineeta immediately kept her luggage at Simmi aunty’s house and with a heavy heart, rode pillion with Jasmeet.

On reaching the hospital, she thanked Jasmeet and asked him to return home, while quickly running over to the reception and then to the private ward, where Dad had been admitted. As she entered the room, she saw him lying supine with IV drips plugged into his hand. He was half asleep and Mom was sitting beside him, holding the other hand. On seeing her, Mom broke down and started crying. Vineeta also couldn’t hold herself and went over with tears in her eyes and a lot of questions in her mind.

4

Vinay had been diagnosed with stage 4 brain tumor a month ago and had suffered a painful seizure in the evening, leading to hospitalization. Not wanting to dishearten her and alarm her unnecessarily on the phone, her parents had hidden this all this while. They had wanted to tell her in person, when she came home and perhaps that is the reason they had kept on rechecking on her travel plans. As Mom told her all this, Vineeta first felt angry about not being told earlier. However, slowly she understood their position and emphasizing with them, let go of the emotions within her to be the pillar of support that was needed within the family right now.

The next couple of days, as she tended to Dad in the hospital and helped Mom around in the household chores, she realized that both of them had been shattered deeply within. After all, Vinay was one of the fittest persons in his age group, had never smoked, and always took extra precautions with what he ate. According to the doctor, the only reason for his condition could be hereditary, as his father had also passed away fighting the dreaded disease. In fact, it was owing to his health that Vinay had possibly not shown any symptoms till recently, when the cancer was very advanced.

What Vineeta also got to know was that Dad had around 12 months left. This came as a shock. She had all along thought that both Mom and Dad will be around her for many more years to come. She had never imagined that one of them will be gone so soon. The grief within her was insurmountable. But somehow, she held herself together and continued with things she ought to do, not showing too much emotion in front of her parents, crying silently in the bathroom or when she went off to bed in the night.

The day before Diwali, Vinay was discharged and returned home. He was under constant medication now and while everyone was back together under a single roof, the situation didn’t let any one sleep peacefully. Vineeta ensured that the family celebrated Diwali as usual, not wanting to disturb the age-long routines and practices, hoping this would bring some cheer to her parents. She got involved in everything and took upon additional responsibilities to keep everyone happy.

As the break was only for a week, she had already called up her manager and explained to him the situation, requesting work from home. The manager had agreed to it and told her to take as much time as needed to set things right.

So after Diwali, she stayed over in Udaipur for 2 more weeks to provide comfort to her parents. During those 2 weeks, she cut down on some office work to spend more time with her parents in the evenings and chat about things. During one such conversation over the evening tea, Mom raised the topic of the meeting with Ramit. As Dad eagerly looked on, Vineeta realized that it will bring him immense happiness to see his daughter married and settled and in that realization nodded to them to signal that she had liked Ramit and was ready to get hitched.

Her parents were extremely happy. They quickly had a chat with Ramit’s parents and an engagement was arranged the following weekend, to be followed by marriage after 3 months. Ramit was also keen to get married and wanted the rituals to be performed at the earliest, as he had a lucrative offer in hand from a startup. He wanted to plan the wedding in such a way that he would be in between jobs during the marriage, getting ample time for the celebrations and subsequent relocation to the new place.

Ramit was employed by one of the power sector giants and was jumping ship to a renewable energy startup, which had some important projects in the state of Uttarakhand. He was going to be on-site for a couple of years before he could move to the corporate office in Delhi. As Vineeta discussed more with Ramit about his plans and what it means for her, she realized that she had to move out of Bangalore and leave her job.

It wasn’t as if Ramit had asked her to make that sacrifice. He had actually been supportive, saying she could continue with her job in Bangalore if she wanted to, or find something in Delhi and stay with her in-laws, who were settled there. Vineeta however, didn’t want to take such an approach, that too immediately after an arranged marriage. She had seen enough couples go through long distance troubles in their relationships and didn’t want to begin on the wrong foot. After thinking for a few days, she made up her mind and tendered her resignation in the current organization.

The marriage preparations themselves were numerous and with Dad not in the best of conditions, she had to do a lot of running around to get things in order. Having resigned from her job and taking an early release, Vineeta had quickly gone back to Bangalore to wind up and then returned home to get knee deep into the preparations.

Those 2 months were hectic, to say the least. Vinay and Shamita had invited their entire family for the wedding and it was going to be a 3-day affair at a plush hotel near the lake. With the numerous tasks Vineeta had to take care of, she hadn’t devoted too much time to herself. In fact, she had squeezed whatever time she could over those last 2 months to spend it with Mom and Dad. Specially Dad, for she didn’t want to hold a regret in her heart, knowing well that he had only so much time amidst them all.

Before they knew it, February came along and the marriage was a week away. Vineeta had ensured all the preparations were complete and had made all arrangements for the guests, before handing over the charge to her cousins, who had come in earlier to support them. She had called all her friends and a few colleagues and wanted to look her best on the wedding day. So she booked herself and her parents in the same hotel 3 days in advance, where they could all relax and have some time off before the busy 3 days.

The marriage celebrations went off well and after a score of rituals and functions, Vineeta and Ramit were married, man and wife now. Everyone had had a good time and Vineeta had enjoyed watching her parent’s elation all the while. She had made them happy, which counted the most in her small world. Post the celebrations, she and her in-laws stayed for a day more in Udaipur, before going back to Delhi. She was set to begin a new life now.

5

The new life began all right. Vineeta got some time to spend with her in-laws at Delhi and she and Ramit also went for a 10-day long honeymoon to Turkey and Jordan, a trip they had planned meticulously and one which turned out well. They had fallen in love with each other over the past few months and this relaxed time that they spent with each other helped get the relationship off to a good start.

Soon, they had to move to Almora, a picturesque hilly town, where Ramit was going to be based. His site location was 15 kms away from the town but as Vineeta didn’t have much to do, they chose to settled down at Almora to allow her the freedom to be in a place with a few things to do. Vineeta had made up her mind to enjoy this phase of her life and as she always wanted to stay for some time near the hills, was looking forward to it.

After shifting, a few weeks passed away in setting up the house and getting to know the town. Ramit had asked her to take charge of all things in the house and had got a scooter for her to whiz past town to run any errands. With his work requiring him to be away for 9-10 hours every day, he didn’t want Vineeta to feel dependent for any small thing. Vineeta had accepted this gladly and had settled down into her routine as a housewife.

After those few weeks however, something started pinching her within. It wasn’t anything to do with Ramit. He was a sweet guy and took good care of her. She had no complaints whatsoever on that front. What she wasn’t happy about though was her new jobless status, something she wasn’t proud about. She slowly started feeling dependent on Ramit and while he gave her enough and more money to take care of all things, she had never experienced this in her adult life and therefore felt sad and helpless.

What also didn’t help was the hours that Ramit had to be engaged in his work on the site. Those 9-10 hours felt like a burden to Vineeta, something she couldn’t wish away. She had been whiling away time watching movies and TV series, listening to music, reading books. But there was only so much she could do and not more. The lack of things to do on a daily basis started hurting her badly. She even contemplated going back to a job in Bangalore or Delhi but then decided against it.

She also didn’t have any friends in Almora. Most of her friends back in Bangalore were working and she couldn’t just chat with them during their office hours. While she called up her parents and in-laws every day, that too was only for 20-30 minutes. Beyond this all, she didn’t know what she could do with her time and after a few weeks of jostling with herself, this emptiness started affecting her mood.

She started being unhappy most of the time, not eating properly and having a blank look on her face. It was as if all her chirpiness and happiness had been sapped away by some unseen force. Ramit tried to lighten up her mood, taking her shopping on the weekends, even taking her onsite with him once to see if that would help change her mood. But her sullen mood remained constant to his utter dismay.

He had even recommended to her that if she doesn’t want to live separately from her but feels like it, she could pick up a part-time job to fill up her time, something to do in Almora. Vineeta had however rejected that suggestion too as she felt she wouldn’t be happy in just any part-time job which didn’t utilize her core skills.

Finally, after a month of enduring the situation, Ramit suggested that she go off to Udaipur and spend some time with her parents. As it is, his project work was entering a really busy phase and he had to spend 12-14 hours every day on the site beginning next week. This he knew, would further aggravate the situation for Vineeta and wanted to avoid it.

This time, Vineeta listened to Ramit and agreed that a change may help her mood. She was also aware of the fact that Dad’s condition was worsening and so thought it better to visit them for a couple of weeks. It was May and while Udaipur would be sweltering in the heat, nothing was better than being home. She packed up for a 15-day trip, made arrangements for Ramit to stay comfortably and left for Udaipur on Monday.

6

What she didn’t know then was how those 2 weeks will pass. Her parents were glad to have Vineeta over and that she could spend time with them for the next 2 weeks. They wanted to make the most of it and had kept themselves absolutely free. The first 3 days had passed off chit-chatting about random things.

However, as Vinay got up on the fourth day, his body gave up and he could feel sudden uneasiness. Not wanting to take a chance, Vineeta rushed him to the hospital, where the doctor admitted him and upon examination, announced that he was in the last and final stages of his life. He advised her and Mom to take Dad home after the treatment and be at his bedside over the next 7-10 days.

Vineeta always knew this was going to happen some day. But the suddenness of it surprised her and took the wind out of her lungs. She couldn’t stand and slumped over in the chair on hearing these words. Life was hard and the thought of losing Dad so soon wasn’t something she had come prepared for.

Nothing could be done, however. After the treatment at the hospital, Vineeta shifted Dad back home the next day and spent the next week serving him his meals and taking care of him. She didn’t let her emotions show too much and also took care of Mom. Mom was very emotional and needed all the support to cushion the impending loss.

She had also informed Ramit and her in-laws about the development, asking Ramit to come over on the next Sunday as per the doctor’s advise. Ramit came over on the Sunday and it was a day that her parents spent in relative comfort, happy to see their son-in-law and proud of their choice for their only daughter.

As the day wound up, Vineeta could feel that Dad was feeling some discomfort and as she put him to bed, he asked her if she was happy and when she nodded, kissed her on her forehead. She drew the curtains, set everything alright for the night, by when he was already asleep. Vineeta slowly walked out of the room as Mom entered and they bid goodnight.

The next day, Vinay didn’t wake up. He passed away in his sleep. When Shamita had woken up around midnight, he was fine. But in the morning, when she tried to wake him up, realized that he was not breathing. Vineeta immediately called up the family doctor, who came in no time and expressed his condolences on seeing Vinay’s body. Vinay had bid goodbye to them all.

Vineeta couldn’t hold herself any longer. She burst out crying and all those pent-up emotions over the past so many months erupted within her. Mom was also shaken but she had perhaps reconciled within somewhere and was somehow controlling herself. While Ramit comforted them, he understood that it is best for them to let out their sadness and sensing that someone had to take charge of the situation, let Vineeta and Mom sit near Vinay, while he got busy with the funeral preparations.

The funeral was conducted the same day in the sweltering heat of May. There were a lot of people, mainly relatives and neighbors, for the next few days around the house as the other ceremonies were conducted. Once those ceremonies came to a close on the 13th day, the house was again empty with just the three of them. Ramit had been away for long enough and told Vineeta that he had to get back to work. Understanding the situation, he advised her to stay put with Mom for a couple of more weeks.

Those two weeks were mostly spent in sadness, reminiscing about Dad. Mom took out old albums and started at them for hours, sitting by herself. Drops of tears streamed in small bursts down her cheeks. Vineeta saw all this but herself felt lost with Dad gone. It was as if she was left without a guiding star in the desert of life. Slowly, however, Mom started picking herself together and by the end of the second week, she was much better. She had her job at the University and Vineeta sensed that it will be better for Mom to get back to work instead of being at home. She set up everything for her to be comfortable around without Dad and after almost a month in Udaipur, returned to Almora in early June.

7

Life in Almora was the same as before. Back after a month, it took some time for Vineeta to settle down and set everything in order. Ramit’s work had gone back to normal and he spent extra time at home to ensure that Vineeta wouldn’t feel the emptiness too much. It was the tourist season in the town and most shops used to be open till late, so he even took her out every evening on the pretext of a walk to get her mind off the recent events.

The days however were drearier than before. With Dad’s loss, life seemed that much more hollow to Vineeta. She had lost all interest in even doing the things she would do earlier to pass her time and instead just sat around in the balcony, staring in the horizon.

Today started off in similar fashion. She prepared breakfast for Ramit and herself, packed his lunch box and once he left, supervised the maid’s work until noon. With the home now spic and span, she took a bath and ate her lunch. Just then, the clouds let loose and it started raining. She sat by the dining table, looking outside in the rain. And then, as the petrichor wafted in, went out to the balcony and settled down in her garden chair.

As she closed her eyes and the events of the recent past flashed in her mind, she sensed that her life’s story had come around in a full circle. Shaken up, she opened her eyes and was back to the present. She glanced at her watch, which showed 4 pm. There was still an hour or two before Ramit would return and as she had nothing else to do, she decided to stay put in the balcony.

She closed her eyes again, wanting to be by herself. She soaked in the sweet earthen smell and tried to relax her mind, somehow wanting to change her life. Perhaps answering her prayer, after a while, her mind took her to the day when she was graduating from her college, top of her class, with her parents around her. She clearly remembered the pride in Dad’s eyes and as she strained to recall that scene, his words echoed in her mind.

“Vineeta, remember one thing always in your life. Do whatever you want to do but always own up to your decisions. For they are yours to make and yours to live with”. Vinay had given her sound advice and as she thought about it, she asked, “Yes Dad, will always own up to them. But what if I make a wrong decision?”. Dad had replied “At times you will make a decision that doesn’t seem right. Don’t worry. Just course correct and find what will make you most happy and go do that. Even if it means changing course mid-way. For in your happiness lies the happiness of those around you”.

Vineeta opened her eyes, startled. All this while, she had accepted the changes in her life as her fate. While leaving her job and shifting to Almora along with Ramit was her decision, by resigning to the fact that she couldn’t do anything in this new place, she was not only hurting herself but also Ramit. And while Dad’s loss was immense, by being unhappy and sad all the time, she wasn’t honoring his memories or the way he had been all his life.

She wasn’t living up to her own standards. And more importantly, she was not living up to the manner in which Dad and Mom had brought her up and wanted her to be.

It was right that she just didn’t want to take up any work to keep her busy. She wanted something engaging, something where she could utilize her skills and feel happy about her contributions. She had however assumed that it wasn’t possible in her current setting. She had neither thought about any possibilities nor vocalized what she really wanted to do in the last few months and that wasn’t at all helping her.

As she rose up from the chair and took a couple of deep breaths, her senses opening up with the sweet earthen smell, Vineeta could feel a new surge of energy within her. Her mind was racing again and a faint smile was back on her face. She eagerly looked forward to Ramit’s return from his site.

8

That evening was special. Something that both Ramit and Vineeta would remember for a long time to come. It was the first time in many months that Ramit was seeing Vineeta happy. And definitely the first time when Vineeta was feeling confident about herself after a long time.

As Ramit came back and settled down on the sofa in the living room, Vineeta came and sat next to him and hugged him tightly. She was thankful that he had not given up on her and always tried to cheer her up. She had got the partner she wanted and she was grateful for all this.

Vineeta told him all about the thoughts that had passed through her mind and how she had decided to re-apply herself to finding something meaningful to do. She had resolved to be happy about life and looked forward to what the future held for her. Ramit was pleasantly surprised on hearing this and relieved within that the dark phase was finally getting over.

Over the next few days, as more and more rain poured over Almora, Vineeta spent her afternoons figuring out her options and working out what she could do. She contemplated taking up research in data science, something she had always wanted to do but had not got enough time when she was working. She also contemplated opening an academy to impart the skills she knew to students in Almora. She even had thoughts about joining the local college to teach computer science.

Finally, after much thought, she decided to pursue her research work. Data science was her passion and having so much time on her hands was once in a lifetime opportunity to dedicate it to new research. She contacted her college mentor and with his help, enrolled in the Delhi University for her PhD. This allowed her to stay in Almora and work remotely, while providing her with the comfort of a known circle to lean back on for institutional help. She could also visit her in-laws and stay with them while in Delhi, which was added comfort.

So began the next chapter in Vineeta’s life.

9

The next three years went past like a blur. Ramit was doing well in his new job and as there were more projects that his company was engaged in than they had resources for, he continued his stint in Almora rising up the ranks to become the COO. Vineeta shuttled between Almora and Delhi to accommodate the needs of her research work and finally after a lot of long nights, finished her thesis.

It was early June, on a Thursday, when she was going to present her thesis. She had invited Mom, her in-laws, and of course Ramit, to the University campus to meet with her mentor.

It was a smooth run for Vineeta. She aced the presentation that afternoon, presenting the various aspects of her thesis and how her research had led her to understand more about using data science responsibly for developing the next generation of AI tools to help those who were gifted differently.

As the claps rescinded and the congratulations poured in, with the panel of professors giving her a thumbs up, some clouds up in the sky loosened up and it started to rain. Vineeta thanked them all and walked out to where her family was sitting. She hugged and thanked them while sensing the familiar smell emanating from the earth, the petrichor.

With a huge smile, she thanked the universe for this wonderful smell that had helped her reconnect with herself and lifted her out of the dark zone and inspiring her for a fresh start. It was a future full of hope and anticipation that awaited her now.