Reliving a lived experience.

There are moments in life which we relish and often remember. In the hope that we could relive them again or at least feel the same way again.

And then there are experiences which shape us. They may not necessarily be in the earlier category but are important to us as an individual.

This last week, I had an opportunity to relive a lived experience, one that fundamentally shaped me.

It was a visit to the Indian Military Academy, which I graduated from more than two decades ago. Those were the most formative years in my life, joining the Academy as an eighteen year old.

Thanks to a course mate, who was able to get a tour arranged, I visited the institution along with my family. As the assigned staff member took us around, I recounted some of my experiences to my wife and our daughter.

It was poignant to walk the same corridors once again. Now as a civilian, but with the same proud feeling of being able to walk there.

It was nostalgic to visit the rooms and stand in the same place I spent countless days in. And feel a little bit of what I went through in those days.

It was reliving memories filled with bitter sweet moments as I saw other parts of the academy. The playgrounds, the practice areas, the places I used to go past every day.

It was a reminder of how much things have evolved. The staff member was kind enough to detail how many things had changed from those days to now, and we compared them with what we used to do. They ought to be, in two decades.

It was fun to recall some of my experiences and share them with my family, as we zipped past some of the best and worst memories of the days lived there.

Finally, as we completed the tour and bid farewell to the staff member, driving out on the main road, I felt a tinge of sadness within myself. For the entire tour had ended in a couple of hours and my journey of reliving the lived experiences had ended.

I was overwhelmed thinking about how much time had passed since those days. At the same time, I was thankful that I got this opportunity.

Enough for me to carry fresh impressions of my days spent in that place so many years ago…

The joy of meetings

Not the ones at work. Well, they can be joyful too at times but aren’t my focus for today…

I mean the times we meet with old friends and how those moments bring us joy.

This weekend, as I spent time in between two office trips, I caught up with a few old friends.

I was meeting one of them after more than five years, so it was obviously nice meeting each other after so long.

And while I had met the other three more recently, they stay outside India and hence it isn’t possible for us to meet often, so I was glad I could make it happen.

Each of these meetings lasted for a couple of hours only but I received so much warmth and happiness from them that it felt like we had spent a lot of time together.

We didn’t do something specifically to have that fun. We didn’t need to. We just sat down, chatted about random topics, shared about our lives and what we have been up to, and enjoyed each other’s company.

It felt like old times because even though we met after a gap, our connection remains strong and there was genuine interest to meet.

There was also mutual appreciation of having taken the time and effort to meet up and we wanted to make the most of it. So, the chats were involved and personal, just like it should be with friends.

Earlier this year, I had met three other close friends after a while. And had similar observations and experience.

I guess it is because all of these were meetings with long time friends, and we genuinely wanted to meet, we took time to enjoy each other’s company. But I am sure that even if we meet frequently, that joy will still remain.

Because after all, long time friendships are what stand apart even in today’s hustle culture. And remind you of who you really are…

Connections and meaning…

We make them. We break them…

We sustain them. We ruin them…

We nurture them. We ignore them…

It’s one of those dichotomies of our life, where this very word conjures both happy and sad feelings in us. For the same people, or the same surroundings, but different feelings in different times!

Nothing unique about it though. It’s the same dichotomy that surrounds love and health. They both make us happy or sad at different times for the same reasons.

However, coming back to connections, as I unwound during the year-end break and reflected on the last couple of years of my life, this was my big realization.

I had not made many new connections. I had not sustained some of the older ones well enough. And I had not nurtured those that are dear to me.

Not that I wanted to intentionally land like this. I had made efforts all this while to ignore precisely this situation. But life had taken its toll. I had flown with the daily turbulence of life and had unknowingly been busy paddling all across.

As I reflected on these thoughts, it occurred to me that this wasn’t the first time it had happened. And it probably wouldn’t have been so stark a realization, if not for my current state of mind. A mind which is seeking meaning.

As I thought about how I want to make the new year different and my life more fulsome, I came to one non-negotiable conclusion. That I have to make new connections, sustain those I have, and nurture the ones I really care about.

For what is life without being and remaining connected!