Family

The ship had sailed…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The day was fine. In fact, it was probably the best weather of the month.

Ajit, however, was distraught. He had been sitting at the park bench for sometime, looking at people walking past him happily.

There was no happiness in his heart. His wife was admitted in the nearby hospital, and he had just received confirmation that she was on her deathbed.

He had no one to share the grief with. They had no children. His siblings had passed away. His wife had a sister but they hadn’t spoken in a long time.

Ajit kept thinking about who else he could speak with. They had some friends but they were away due to the ongoing festival and he didn’t want to reach out to them and spoil their mood. They could always meet Malti once they returned.

His mind went back to his sister-in-law, Jahnvi. She was younger than Malti by a couple of years and lived in another city in the north.

The sisters had been quite close and the first few years had been a blast. They often planned vacations together and always made it a point to spend the new year with their parents. Ajit had always accompanied Malti on those trips.

However, a few years after their parents had passed away, the two sisters had an ugly fight. It was during their usual new year trip, which in that particular instance had turned sour.

The two sisters exchanged heated arguments with no holds barred. Malti was so distraught that she had compelled Ajit to leave immediately.

Ajit always thought that somehow they will make up. But neither approached the other. He had asked Malti to forgive and forget but the words she had heard that day had inserted themselves deeply within her heart. And she was not ready to forgive.

She had also said a lot of things that Jahnvi must have gotten hurt. And she also couldn’t forget. So, without any communication or forgiveness, the two families had grown apart…

Ajit, sitting at that bench that day, wanted to reach out to Jahnvi. He knew it could help heal a deep wound inflicted on both.

After much thought, he dialled her number. Someone else answered. She had changed her phone number. He tried his brother-in-law. Same result.

He wasn’t connected with them on any other platform. Nor to anyone else who could have helped.

All ties had been severed. The ship had sailed! The scar remained…

Dance on…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s strange how we sometimes open up to the world!

In the first twenty five years of my life, I always saw my mom as a serious and devoted person. Always very conscious of herself and her surroundings.

She would always want to ensure she was at her best in whatever she did. But what others think of her mattered a lot to her. So her behaviour, when in public, was in some form and shape guarded.

Then, as me and my brother settled down into a life of our own during college days, I saw her get out of her focused shell that was built around us. She started doing a few more things freely.

Later, as life progressed, the instances when she would prioritize herself went up. We started seeing her less worried about others.

Over the last ten odd years, I have observed how she has come out of that cocoon. And be herself more often.

The most surprising thing about it is the form she has chosen. Dance!

I never thought she was interested in dancing earlier. But over the last few years, that has given her a chance to express herself and do it with a feeling of abandon that I hadn’t experienced.

Today, as she performed at a cousin’s wedding, in the middle of some great performers, she held onto her own. And delivered an amazing rendition of a popular song. With just a couple of hours of practice!

I am still stunned. Both because she was able to pull this off and because I could sense that she was really enjoying performing.

As I mentally saluted her and appreciated her dance in person, I couldn’t help but think about some of those things that I am living with, not yet able to express myself as freely on those aspects.

Maybe, another post on those some other time…

Selfless Dedication

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

This weekend was special. We got together to celebrate my maternal uncle and aunt’s fiftieth wedding anniversary!

The occasion itself was momentous. Not everyone gets to enjoy marital bliss for so long.

What made it more memorable was the time I spent with my cousins together. We were catching up with each other after a while.

As we tried to make the most of these two days, every hour spent having fun felt great. I thought it couldn’t have gotten better. But then something very special happened…

During the celebrations, when their grandchildren asked my uncle and aunt some questions, my uncle described my aunt’s unfailing dedication and contribution to home building. And how that was an important aspect of how their relationship strengthened.

How she, being a housewife, took it upon herself to raise the kids, took care of everyone in the extended family, and handled all the changes with aplomb, being at his side always.

It was so refreshing to hear those words. Not just because his love and care for her shone through those words, but also because it reflected the important contributions our mothers made to our lives.

I thought about how my mother, again a housewife, always put our interests first before hers. How she took extra efforts and care to ensure everything in my extended family always went on smoothly. How she continues to do so even now.

Selflessly dedicated. To us. To the family.

And yet, we don’t consider homemaking as a critical part of our lives as much today. Or don’t give it the importance it is due.

Yes, women now work more often than not. And that means many more responsibilities than before. Life’s more busy in general and that means many more things to take care of. But somehow, they cobble it together well.

It’s an amazing quality that women and moms have. I see the same attitude and spark in my wife. And many of the other women in the family I know or have observed closely. More superpowers to them!

Later that evening, as my mom and aunt danced gracefully to celebrate the occasion in their own style, we were all cheering from the sidelines.

For the performance of their lifetime…

Nightmare

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Vivek was sweating in the middle of a cold night.

He had just had a nightmare. One that had woken him up with a knot in his stomach.

He had dreamt of being involved in an accident and the only one to have survived. The pain of losing his near ones was unbearable, even if in a dream.

Vivek’s heart couldn’t take it and he started weeping. Lying on his bed.

Amisha, sleeping next to her, heard some faint sobs and as she turned around, Vivek had sat up in his bed now. She knew something was wrong. She too got up and hugged him.

As a few minutes passed by, Vivek sobered up. And told Amisha about the nightmare.

Amisha was well aware that Vivek hadn’t seen his parents for a while. His busy work schedule didn’t permit any leaves. And while she had put up with his schedule due to the seasonal nature of work, she knew it wasn’t sustainable.

She had only one thought in her mind…

They slowly slept off, Vivek cuddled like a baby next to her.

The next day, once they both left for office, Amisha booked tickets for her in-laws to visit them for an extended period of time. She also booked a couple of trips with them, to ensure they were able to spend time together at leisure.

That Saturday, as Vivek got up, he saw Amisha wasn’t at home. She had left him a note mentioning she was out for some weekend errands and would be back only by the afternoon.

He lazed around for a bit and then got something to eat. Around noon, while he was still trying to figure out what to do, he heard the doorbell.

His parents were at the door. It was a surprise Vivek had not dreamt of.

He hugged them both, and saw Amisha standing behind, smiling silently. He hugged her too.

The nightmare had led to a beautiful reunion, unanticipated but most welcome…

Filling the void…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Raj was sitting on the bench at the hospital. He had just heard the worst news possible.

His mom, aged all of sixty five, was in the last stages of her life, fighting a debilitating disease. She had been diagnosed with brain tumour recently and there was nothing much the doctors could do this late. The tumour had already spread to a large part of her brain.

As he sat, looking at the wall in front of him, and contemplating the future, he heard some commotion.

At the other end of the corridor, an emergency case had just come in. A lady, almost the same age as his mother, had just been rushed in.

She had met with an accident and suffered multiple injuries. A passerby had got her to the hospital and they were going to operate on her.

As he heard news about her condition, he felt a sudden emotion. A lady, his mom’s age, who was absolutely fine, was fighting for her life because of someone else’s mistake. He could relate this to his mom’s condition, who until a month ago had no inkling about her deadly disease.

Over the next few days, as he attended to his mom, he also kept track of the other lady. There was no one who had come forward as her next of kin. It was surprising but quite possible.

He decided in his mind that he would befriend this unnamed and unknown lady, once her condition improves. Not for any other reason but to give her company at this juncture in her life. For she needed it, just as his mom needed his support through this trial.

He told his mom about the entire episode and she was very supportive. After all, she knew that Raj’s heart was in the right place. She was proud of his feelings.

A couple of months passed by. Raj’s mom’s condition was only worsening and the doctors had no hope. They asked her if she wanted to spend the rest of her days at home and she readily agreed. Leaving the unknown lady, still in a coma, behind. But Raj kept checking on her condition frequently.

Then one day, as he came in to his mom’s room, she looked at him for the last time and passed away. Raj knew this was coming but was still overwhelmed. He completed her last rites and bid her adieu.

Once the ceremonies ended, the next day he was again at the hospital. Sitting outside the intensive care unit, where the unknown lady was.

Waiting for her to awaken from her slumber!

Waiting to fill the void that was left in his life…

The good ol’ days!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We all have those people whom we spent some good days with. Family, friends, colleagues.

Often, when we meet, the conversations turn toward the days we spent together. How it felt and how it continues to give us joy even now.

This weekend, as I spent time with cousins and then a couple of childhood friends, the time together allowed us to feel the vicarious pleasure of living those golden moments again.

There’s something about spending time together. In person, with other human beings…

Just the other day, I was reading and then chatting about loneliness and how we are becoming distant from others. Today, as I settled down to write, this appreciation dawned on me.

That I am someone who needs to be around people I enjoy being with.

That I want to feel the voices and touch the feelings of togetherness across different relationships I have.

That I crave talking to people who I am friends with, even if it is whiling away time in small talk.

That I am much more happier and satisfied with a day well spent in a group rather than a week of being alone.

That I must take out time to do so, as often as I can.

For, there are very few things more enjoyable than sharing moments which you can remember and feel fresh again reminiscing about those good ol’ days later!

A ‘familiar’ weekend!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a busy afternoon. The dining table was full. Different dishes were on it, with plates already served. The entire family was sitting around. There were multiple conversation threads going on.

The lunch had started with a round of appetizers, a couple of new dishes that they were trying today. Aarav, the grandson, had tried a new recipe he had learnt of online. As is often the case, it hadn’t turned out well.

Grandfather quipped, “This is such a waste, we could have used the cheese for something better”. The grandson added, “And of course, would have saved my time and your appetite!”. Everyone grinned.

After a while, as the main course was being served, mom declared, “This chicken dish has turned out to be my best till date. I am thinking of making this again when our cousins come over later this month”.

Dad, rather bemused, offered some advice, “How about we keep this as the recurring one on our menu for every dinner we host?”. Mom looked puzzled until Dad burst out with a laugh.

I am exhausted, this is too much food to enjoy!”, the grandmother chipped in. “Of course, that’s why we don’t have any dessert today, I already predicted it”, pat came his sister’s reply who was responsible for the dessert. They all laughed again.

The lunch went on for over an hour. Everyone laughed, talked, and shared stories and anecdotes from their life.

As they got up from the table and settled down on the couches, they all were brimming with happiness. The banter continued until late evening and ended only when they finally got up to retire for the night. It was one of the best days they had had after a long time.

That day had been the best ever for Aarav. He had forgotten that he could have so much fun at home with his family. Staying alone in the city, engrossed in his work, he had missed this belongingness and harmony in his life.

It wasn’t just because they were all together at one place but also because they could enjoy time together as a family, away from the usual trappings of the modern life. No mobiles, no social media, no television.

As he went to his room, he saw his phone for the first time since noon. His screen time for the day was down to one-tenth of his usual. He felt an unusual happiness in his heart and mind.

What had not been possible to do away with even after trying so much, had been accomplished by being together physically in a single place with his family. He wished for this to recur frequently, as his sleepy eyelids closed to dream of the day’s happy memories.

The Precious Years…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I live in a state of concern and apprehension. Concern about how my parents, who are getting older, age. And apprehension about how I would support them in the years to come.

I was born and brought up in a joint family and stayed away from my parents, by choice, until I was eleven. Not entirely, but for elongated periods of time when my mom joined my dad in his postings. In those days, I never really felt too much when they left me behind.

Then, as I grew up and joined the army, for the first time in my life, I felt the pangs of separation. Perhaps more so because that was the first time I was staying away from my family. But I did miss my parents a lot in those days.

So, when I had to come out, I went over to Delhi, where they were. Even post finishing college and starting work, I continued to visit them quite often. I started enjoying their company and the times we spent together as a family.

Life moved on, I found the love of my life, and got married. We moved to Bangalore for work and my parents made it a point to come over once a year to spend time with us, while we took time out for a couple of weeks to go spend with them. It made me habitual to they being around to share life’s important moments.

Then, with our daughter’s birth, the relationship further evolved and they started spending more time with us, weeks together. As they settled in their new rhythms of post-retirement life and having a grandchild, it gave our relationship a new perspective. I suddenly grew up in their eyes.

Over the last few years, our relationship has further blossomed more than I imagined. We enjoy spending time together, going on vacations, enjoying as a family. Or being at home and watching a movie together or playing games. At ease with the time we get together, knowing it is only a few weeks.

While they pass on more wisdom to me every time, I too have come to respect them more and more for what they did as parents. It’s not easy being one.

But it’s also a realisation on my part that whatever time I get to spend with them now and as long as I can, is most precious. Almost like the younger days of our daughter were, when she was growing up every single day. Not discounting the time I have spent with them earlier or what I spend with my daughter now, but speaking relatively.

So, when they decided to come over for a couple of months to stay with us, I was so excited. Those two months got over today and they are heading back. As I stood at the airport, waving them the final byes, a lump formed in my throat.

Not because it will be some time before I meet them again and we stay together for a while, but because I wished the time spent with them could have been longer…

On my way back from the airport, I found solace in the fact that I was able to spend so much time with them. And do so many things while they were with us.

The words of a recent chat with a friend echoed in my mind – “Past a certain age, every moment is in itself precious. We just have to learn to enjoy our time with our parents to the maximum!”

The life she wanted!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

The girl was having the time of her life. With her cousins on a trip, she was enjoying every moment she lived…

They had been on a trip for 3 weeks now and as the time to go back came nearer, she was dreading going back to the usual grind.

Being a sole child, she didn’t have many people at home. Her parents doted on her and did all they could to give her company and she liked being with them. But she enjoyed her time with friends more.

She had a few cousins as well. But she didn’t meet them as often and whenever they met, it was only for a few days. Never enough.

Then, a few months back, she heard from her dad about the trip to meet with her cousins and a chance to spend a month with them. Her excitement knew no bounds.

She spent the next couple of months planning the details on her own and then subsequently with her cousins. She discussed about those plans umpteen no. of times with her parents as well.

They could see the eagerness in their daughter to be in the company of other kids. While spending time around their extended family, they further noticed that she was in a different orbit.

As the clock wound down and the day of departure approached, both the parents realised that it was this life that their daughter was missing. They started thinking about how they could give her more such experiences.

The next day, as they woke up, they were in for a surprise though. On their bedside, was a card. It was from their daughter.

She had expressed how much she had enjoyed this trip and thanked them for it. She acknowledged it wasn’t always possible for them to take such long breaks always.

But what if she could be given permission to do so by herself? If her aunt/uncle were ok, she could come by or invite her cousins and spend her holidays with them.

The little one had grown up. And she was asking for a life that she always wanted. Days filled with fun and frolic with cousins and the extended family…

How could they say no!!!

Proud, Prouder, Proudest…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are times when your heart suddenly swells with love or pride. And then there are times when this feeling goes higher…

This past week, something similar happened to me.

My wife was chosen as an emerging leader in her field!

A Big deal. A proud moment for me and the entire family.

When she broke the news to me first, my heart swelled with pride. For she has gone through a lot to get there. Having been a witness to almost all of it, I can vouch for it.

As she announced the news to the world a few days later and it appeared in my social media feed, it instantly pushed me to press the like button to express my pride. But I stopped short of posting any comment there.

Not because I didn’t want to. But because I thought it will be better to put this through my written word. Anyways, I have not been a big contributor to the social media scene off late. So, why do it and break my pattern.

Back to the spotlight. I opened up my feed and the notification had some more news about other people liking and commenting on my wife’s post. As I read some of the comments, and she corroborated some offline instances, I became prouder.

For she had got much more heartwarming reception and feedback from her team and people around her. That speaks volumes about her leadership and naturally left a much bigger imprint on the pride index within my heart.

But most of all, I feel the proudest about how she has balanced things on the personal front and yet gone beyond herself to deliver on the work front. It isn’t easy to do that and my respect for all the women who do that day in and day out has only increased.

We have known each other for almost two decades now. And in our often happening life, the way she complements me may not get reflected often in my writing. But the pride she makes me feel hopefully only continues to swell…