Memories

In Comparison.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was the summer of 96. I had just settled down into a new place and passed out of 9th grade.

It was also a season of change. There were changes everywhere and in my group of friends too, everyone was getting a new bicycle.

In those days, we used to ride our cycle to the school and pretty much everywhere. So for every kid, a bicycle was the most prized asset. In small towns across India, this used to be a pattern with kids going in for changing bicycle designs every 2-3 years.

96 was one such year. But I felt miserable. My current cycle was 4 years old now and due for an upgrade. There was a new design in town and with most of my friends now owning the new design, mine felt automatically old.

And yet, my father won’t approve of it. He explained to me that I can carry on in my current one for another year at least and he will get me a new one the following year.

I was devastated and couldn’t comprehend why I couldn’t get the new model. So I again had a chat with my dad, trying to coax him. He told me to shake it off and gave me some analogies to explain that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others and rather be happy and thankful about what I have. It took some time but that lesson hit home.

I didn’t ask for a new one again until next year, when he himself readily agreed to buy one. I was overjoyed and needless to say, treated it like a prized possession.

What I didn’t realise then but do now was the way he made me understand an absolutely necessary fact of life. Stop comparing yourself to others. And be happy in all circumstances.

That lesson has stayed with me since then. Often, as is natural, the urge to see how I am faring against others crops up and tries to push me down the road less desirable. It’s only these lessons, which somewhere got etched in my memory, that have helped me reset my compass.

This week as something again propped up on the horizon and the inner voice tried to push me in that direction, I was reminded of this lesson about not to compare and held myself back. As I shook myself off that track and reminded myself to stay true to my own path, I realised that this comparative approach is often just an innate desire to prove to ourselves or to prove our worth to others.

It is a strange feeling, taking away the fun of what we have done and pushing us into a corner where our mind starts believing that we ought to do better. And more often than not, it wins in overpowering our minds and polluting it.

It is perhaps due to the fact that we have always viewed competition as virtuous. Or perhaps due to the reason that we believe in ourselves and want to outperform. Or maybe just because we see others behaving in this fashion and join them.

Whatever might be the case, we owe it to ourselves to keep a check on “these feelings” and be mindful to walk our own path.

For truly that is when we can seek and hopefully find happiness!

Those forgotten gems!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There are lots of aspects in our life’s history that we cherish. Some of them are things we possessed once, some of them memories of times gone by, and some a recollection of events that happened.

These things, while from the past, always give us a smile and remind us of those good times. Keeps us in good spirits.

This week, my parents came over. And as my mother was unpacking, she took out a long forgotten relic for our daughter. Magnetic chess and Ludo game boards.

The moment I saw it, it instantly brought a smile to my face and flashes of those times when my brother and I played with them at home and during our train journeys. I was excited to see if the magnets still retained their properties and wanted to play again. And the little one was just excited to lay her hands on something which her dad used to play with!

As I thought back about this experience, I realised that in earlier days, we used to keep our stuff very carefully and preserve them for long. That meant rediscovering these treasures in the future and rekindling those memories was a possibility.

In today’s world though, we have somewhere moved on. A few of our things have gone in to the digital realm. And our attachment with those that we buy physically is lesser.

So, we throw away things which aren’t being used. Or give them away to others. And with them, go our associated memories and the chance of rediscovery.

The only things we do tend to keep for long these days are the memories that get stored digitally. Our pictures, videos, and notes.

And while, it can be argued that keeping all the obsolete or useless stuff isn’t helping much, it at least gives us the chance of remembering those times again. Whether physically storing them or digitally keeping them.

These stored relics form an important part of our life’s narrative and gives us a shot at reliving those experiences again.

And hence preserving these priceless gems as best as we can is even a responsibility that we owe to our next generations. To let them gain from life the same way we have!

Getting Together

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Man is a social animal. Aristotle said so and we all have displayed great affinity for it for as long as we have been alive. Very few of us have the will to stay away altogether from the society. With Covid nearing its anniversary celebrations in many places though, the last one year seems to have been a lost opportunity for social life.

However, this last week, with missus out of town and time on my hands, I spent time in getting together with friends and colleagues in various social settings. During a work trip, over a weekend party with fellow residents, and over a lazy Sunday afternoon at home. It was fun!

Not just because we could get together and have a good time but also because after a long hiatus, it felt good to be approaching normalcy.

It isn’t that we haven’t met people in these times. Most of us have spent time with family and friends as the pandemic has progressively become less deadly. But with the drudgery of work-from-home loneliness and with the umpteen precautions we have had to take, I have often felt that life has become slightly boring in general.

Before the pandemic, we used to meet our colleagues daily, work and perhaps have a bit of fun, apart from the various things that one could do socially over the week. Children had their school friends and those around their home to play with. Elders had visitors and a string of things to look forward to in their days. And as I think about it now, it made a huge difference to our lives. It gave us a sense of belongingness and togetherness.

With most of us working from home over the past months, life took a turn for the worse. While we get online and virtually meet others, in my opinion, there is still a distant and unspoken coldness about it, when compared to in-person interactions. And with those who are younger or older denied of their life’s daily pleasures, things have definitely grown dull all around.

And while the pandemic still isn’t behind us, these in-person get togethers that happened in controlled settings were a relief. It allowed us to speak out, hear others, laugh and joke around, and be ourselves again. Out of the confines of our boundaries, into the open.

To feel life flow through conversations again. To get to know each other that much more. And to feel happy about those moments passed with others.

In the new normal we will perhaps adopt more remote ways to work and interact. But I hope we also continue to create or get chances to get together with others, in a controlled environment, to create real memories…