Negativity

Values and Principles

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

…and the price we must pay for them.

Didn’t want to end up with such a big title but that’s what this post is about.

Most of us have some values and principles that we hold dear and are ready to go to any lengths to uphold. Yet, many a times, we don’t realize that there is a price to it, something we may need to pay for.

Today morning, I was faced with a similar situation at home. Having decided that I will stick with the principle I held important, I had to then forgo my morning sleep to finish some household work.

At first, I was irritated. I had stretched the previous night, watching a movie. And had plans to sleep till slightly later in the day. But as the principle was dear, I got up.

Then, as I was going through the motions and getting the work done, it sink in that I was doing this out of choice and not because of a compulsion. I could have chosen to step back from my principle and taken the easy route. But I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to.

As that feeling sunk in, it actually made me feel much better than I had anticipated. Suddenly, I started seeing the brighter side of life and decided to make the most of the day.

I spent time finishing my exercise routine in the morning, had some good conversations at home while eating, read up on a few pending articles that had been open on my iPad for a while, thought about a new story idea to pursue, and found time to play a board game.

As the day is drawing to a close, I have a feeling of having accomplished something.

Of having turned around the situation which had started with a negative thought into a positive day and outcome for me and the family.

Of having spent time doing things which made me happy. And thinking through on a couple of nice ideas.

And above all, of having stood by my principle and then taking care of the fallout without any fuss.

There are only some days like this and they come about once in a while but leave us enriched for a longer time!

Worrying too much?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

OTT platforms are killing it these days. I was watching one such series on the 1992 stock market scam in India that has garnered good reviews, when the subject of this post came across through one of the dialogues by the central character. It has been 3 weeks since I finished watching that series but the dialogue has remained with me, with the protagonist mentioning “Worry is like death”. As it came up repeatedly in my thoughts, I spent some time deliberating on it with my own experiences and those of the others I have seen around me.

I have had a couple of troughs in my life. The first one was when I had to leave the Army while the second one was the phase when I had to close down my business. In both the cases, with the tide of time going against me, I started worrying a lot about what will happen, what will I do in the future, and so on. And at both times, I became bitter, had health issues, and pulled down those near and dear to me. Fortunately, I got some good advise and support from my family to come out of those situations.

Even with others, I have often seen how they have got jolted by mishaps and things that didn’t go as per plan. And while most of them have recovered from that setback and moved on to do better things in life, there have been few I know of, who haven’t been able to come to terms with it.

Why do we worry so much? And why is it that we feel so disheartened that we sometimes lose hope and continue to sink deeper? Why is it that some people sink so deep that they either chose to take the extreme step or continue to live their remaining life in the sink-hole? On the other side, what is it that gives us hope to pull ourselves back and get back on our feet? How is it that we can stomach all such upsets when we have support of others?

As I thought through my own experiences and those of the others I know, I realised that the answers to these questions are probably an outcome of the perspective we have on life.

Right from our childhood, we develop this perspective, which is a complex combination of the values passed on to us, the thought process instilled/developed during the formative years, the things that are taught to us directly or indirectly, and the experiences and the reaction/response to them that we imbibe in our instincts.

And while each one of us has our own unique experiences, some of the important things that determine how we will react to these setbacks in our life is the result of the upbringing that we have had over the years. Positivity breeds optimism in all situations and leads us to move on after the setback and redo/restart on the same/new path. Negativity instills fear and anxiousness, which leads us to question ourselves and doubt if we can move forward after such a setback, getting trapped in our mind.

With the world around us changing rapidly now and the uncertainity prevailing in every sphere of our lives, these situations will only become more common and the response to them will probably determine the future of not just us individuals but also the society as a whole. And therefore, I feel, its time we start looking at the glass half full and start encouraging others also to do the same…