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Experimentation Ahoy!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am 33 going on 34.

Maybe, I could sing a song with these lyrics and I could become famous just like Bryan Adams!

Or maybe, I am too old for that.

Wait. What?

33 and old, nah!

But that’s how people would react if I told them just now that I wanted to be a singer. I would be bombarded with questions like – “Oh, you realised soon enough in life!”, “Were you deliberately trying to waste time up till now?”, or simply “What a dud, wants to chose something entirely new at 33!”.

And that’s how our society fares when it comes to new vs. old.

Every time we strive to unfold a new horizon in our life, we are brought down to earth by the circumspect, all-invasive non-sense that the society pulls on us. And then, when we grow old, we regret not doing certain things when the time was right!

But what about now? 33 going on 34 shouldn’t certainly be a deal breaker. I mean if our heroes can do superhuman acts when they are 60 plus, I am just half their age.

The real problem is in embracing change I believe.

We as a society have become too much of good natured, follow-the-pattern people. If someone tries to break the mould, he is doomed in our eyes. Maybe not, but that’s how we react.

The other day, while meeting someone new, I was asked about what I am doing. I told them I am running my own setup and have just shifted base. The reaction in their eyes was – “Oh, you are not yet settled!”

Firstly, I don’t give a damn what others say or think. As someone wise said, its none of my business. Secondly, does settling down mean buying a house, living in the same surroundings for years together, doing the same work day in and day out? Then, sorry! I don’t want to settle ever.

I mean, there are 10,000 things to do in life. There are so many places to see. Why dig a hole in a place, how-so-ever nice, and stay there forever. Keep moving and experiencing new things. That’s my motto!

I am clear. I am not going to settle. Work-wise, I will do what I like. Maybe, my startup might not work out and I might have to go back to a job. That’s ok. Maybe, I become a millionaire and roam the world care-free. That’s good.

But one thing I can promise is – I am not ready to settle into the old school way of living life.

What a relief it is to realise that 33 going on 34 isn’t old! Life’s just begun. Time to experiment!

How womanly should we be!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

So the annual ritual of paying respect to women is over. March 8 is gone. But it should not be!!!

Well, I for one am not too much of a lover of these celebrated days. I think they eulogize what’s wrong or as in case of women’s day, remind us that we need to actually consider women as equals, pay them respect and so on…

I think they take away the sheen. Why?? Here’s why…

I and you and everyone else was born from a woman. That should be enough to hold women in higher esteem. I mean, who amongst men are ready to bear a child in their body for 9 months? Leave aside the after-birth shenanigans that all mothers must go through.

We all grow up and we always seek shelter with a woman. We love our sisters and protect them at all costs, we adore our female friends and secretly wish they would be with us. We look at couples and get jealous if the guy looks lousy. We would do anything to please the woman of our dreams and get her to be on our side. 

Yet, we also secretly harbour ill within us, within our society. We grow up and suddenly we want to show our power. And I am talking about all men, including yours truly.

We think somehow we are superior to a girl or a lady – mentally, physically etc. And it is manifested in the way we treat females – as objects of desire who are walking talking show-pieces. We look at them askance if they do some wrong, as if they must be perfect.

We want them to be pretty and fair and slim and tall, while ourselves being average, not so fair, fat and stout. We want to mate almost all of them and yet call them names even if we just see them walking or talking to a single guy!

And that’s the reason we have all sorts of crimes against women. And across the globe, not just in India. That’s why there is gender discrimination everywhere and that’s why our collective consciousness towards crimes against women is so low… And that’s why things don’t improve.

I mean, let’s grow up. We are not in some Before Christ era, where we are slaves to the traditional patriarchal society that we must look down upon the female sex.

Long gone are the days when women were meant to be at home and rear children and satisfy their man’s needs. Today, they are equal in all respects and in fact, in my reckoning, higher in some of them. They are beating men square in most fields.

And doing that while continuing to fulfill all those responsibilities that the society asks of them. A man cannot even think of doing a few of these things simultaneously!

My respect for women has gone up several notches in the past few years and still it sometimes leaves me dazed that my wife or mother or sisters accept me as I am and respect me without looking down upon my weaknesses.

It’s time I accept them as they are and respect them.

And its time we all did the same to all the women in our lives and all those whom we come across. Will make the world a better place to live in!!!

The many groups I belong to! And what social media made me realise…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I have been a frequent mover all my life!

It started with my father’s transfers which was pretty much every 3 years. So I changed schools 6 times during my elementary education. Then I joined the Army and traveled to 2 more places. Then 2 more for my MBA. My job took me to 2 different places. And I am at a new place as I write this!

It was really cumbersome during childhood to make friends in new places. I did not have a dedicated friend circle with whom I grew up. And it kind of riled me sometimes.

But it gave me a distinct advantage – I have many groups I belong to. And as I have grown up, I realised this subconsciously – the more the number of groups I belonged to, the more I grew in life. But the realisation hit home recently when I inadvertently became a part of a high school group on WhatsApp.

As it happened, during our high school days we were a small gang of boys and have stayed in touch through all our life. Some great friends there! But we had no girls in our group! Quite surprising, when I come to think of it now! Don’t ask me why, I’m yet to figure out! 🙂

Anyways, we all got onto this new group with a bunch of girls (now ladies) whom we had studied with. We had been connected on FaceBook and other mediums but never interacted much.

It all changed the last couple of weeks. In fact, talking about this group here seems funny because just a couple of weeks ago half the people in there were almost strangers to me!

The girls have gone on to play some awesome roles – enterprising housewives, doctor, consultant and above all as a mother. And the guys are all pretty settled in their respective family lives. But in the past couple of weeks, we have discovered a funny side to ourselves…

We laugh and banter with each other on silly things, as if high school days are back. We take digs at each other knowing fully well no one will be offended. We share our family’s moments within the group and have formed a mutual admiration society in between ourselves talking about myriad things. It has given us new friends to share our joys and sorrows with. In fact, we wonder why we did not interact even a 100th of what we have done over the last 2 weeks!

It was perhaps meant to be now! While we were all busy in the humdrum of our lives, we were missing the fun and joy and smiles that only childhood friends can bring on. And for all we are worth, we are all much more happier these days, enjoying and reliving those memories of our childhood and becoming kids again…

And its the same across all groups – be it family or friends! Social media has bought us all closer on an informal level that nothing could. It has given us the freedom to express and associate with and learn from each other.

The positive impact these interactions have, far outweigh the time spent on social media. I feel we all owe it to the social media revolution engulfing our lives, where we all are connected and share our happy and sad times with others. Otherwise, in our cocooned existence in today’s world, its easy to become lonely and get lost!

I am sure there are more surprises in store in the future as social media evolves! As Martin Buber said “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”, so I move along, ready to experience new things and enjoy the old times with my numerous groups!!!

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

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I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!

The Long Absence…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Reading news today morning, I came across an article claiming that the new government isn’t interacting with the media as much as it used to be; it is almost as if they have voluntarily decided to be under the radar. This reminded me of my long absence from the blogging world…

Now, the news article might have been hinting at some broad political strategy. My absence has been rather non-strategical. Its been plain simple – I haven’t been writing! But there are reasons why I was missing for almost last 3 months.

Well, I took to reading a lot (a habit which has always been there and surprises my wife even to this day – c’mon honey you have got to give me credit that I have stuck to it inspite of accusations of all kinds from you), started writing a novel (whoa, a long cherished version of mine), traveled and self-reflected a lot (business and personal), spent time with the family (quite naturally because IPL is not something you can watch all day as opposed to the on-going world cup), and even started a new venture and on the verge of another! Quite something…

Naturally all these things took precedence and I just abstained from writing. But having emerged victorious to this other side (proof is in this post), I can emphatically say that from now on I am going to be more regular (sounds familiar, eh). In fact, I am going to publish a new post each week and perhaps 2 if I feel up to it. And I know, some of you (ok, most of you) might not be very happy with my return (who am I writing for then?), I will still write to improve myself and to prove to myself that I can! (Obama style!!!)

Cheers to the new wave of my blogs then! See you all with the next post soon…

I’m Back!

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After a long time, keeping all the other work aside, here I am – back to one thing I think I have always loved doing… Writing my thoughts down! Its been a long time coming and I have over multiple times tried to unleash the writer within, but somehow it wasn’t to be until today.

What brought about the need – just freedom to write down what I wish to without worrying about anything else – a way to lose myself in the midst of so many thoughts and come out with a refreshed perspective – is what is driving me right now! Hope to do some good to myself and maybe contribute in some ways to the larger world!!!

The day when I turned 27…

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Everyone tends to look forward to the day called “Birthday”, whatever might be his/her age. Although the day brings you closer to the so-called ‘Budhapa’, still you cherish the significance of being born on this day and associate it with general euphoria. And when you are in the midst of friends and that too a group as hell-bent on making it memorable as it can be, you can’t get more euphoric…

So, here I was in my room at 11:56 PM on 15th March when in came the dear group of friends ready to take me out for a little celebration. Only, it wasn’t in any sense a li’’l one. I was taken by surprise when they didn’t ask me to move to the smoking area to cut the cake but made me sit on the stairs and did a march-past shouting commands like ‘Birthday ki salaami de’ and ‘Birthday song gana shuru kar’.

The fact that I had not seen the invite sent by the organizers, about whom I am going to talk about, made it all the more interesting. Here was a group of friends I had known for only over 3 months, who had already made my day special by probably celebrating my birthday in the most spectacular fashion possible. I was floored. The very fact that it took me 2 days to complete this blog is some proof of the overwhelming feeling 😉

The cake cutting ceremony was as usual filled with all kinds of antics by people to make sure that no part of my face was spared the chocolate, cream and strawberries. Probably 3 times more cake was on my face than in my stomach after the conclusion. But I was as happy as I could possibly ever be. This is perhaps what friendship is all about…

So the people behind this all – Deepak, Areez, Kushagra, Ajay, Swamy, Harish, Tanya, Archana, Prarthana, Kapil, Soham Dada and Avneesh (no typical order, just random). They planned it so well that I didn’t even got a whiff even though I am with either one of them practically all through out the day here. And then the gift, thoughtful again, had me in a total daze. I hadn’t expected such a grand and heart-warming celebration. But this very fact makes it all the more endearing, as well as memorable. Here’s to our friendship, which I am sure would grow stronger in the days and years to come…

The story however, does not end here. I got a beautiful surprise from the one and only… A cake and flowers that not only made me nostalgic but also poignant. A gift that was again meticulously planned and never ever hinted upon. My love to such a thoughtful partner. May we continue to scale new heights in our relationship…

So, a year older and perhaps wiser, looking forward to the wonderful year ahead which promises challenges and changes that might alter the course of my life; here I am ready to take on the world…

When Holi came calling amidst the hustle bustle of GMBA

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Life at GMBA in SPJCM, Singapore truly is a busy affair. There are things to do and then there are things to do. Some days are good and some are bad. On the good ones, you feel actually elated and relaxed. On the bad ones, you swear about the lack of time and work as hard as possible. But most importantly, you hope for the next day to be better.

People here try to be as optimistic as one can be. So on a day when marks brought little to cheer about for most of us, and people were discontented with the outcome, there was hope with a poem doing the rounds mentioning how you should stick out through the hard times… And then there were plans to take the college to the next level (more on this in some other post).

So today is a bad day as it has turned out. But never to worry. Tomorrow shall be better. And oh! not to forget – the festival of RANG – HOLI which is now upon us. Buddies kept mouthing the famous dialog in anticipation – “Holi kab hai. Kab hai holi” from the past many days. And although we have an end term exam tomorrow, I m sure people would find time to play with colors and make the whole atmosphere colorful with the festival finally here.

For us Indians, Holi always has a special place in the festival calendar. A festival where you can let yourself out in your own way, without having to worry about class, level, age, hierarchy and what not. There are other festivals of social gathering but Holi by its sheer nature of casualness, lends an altogether different dimension. So, looking forward to Holi celebrations with friends and taking those memories with me through my life… HAPPY HOLI.