Personal

Well Informed or Well Read???

~ Rishi

The newspaper guy knocked on the door. Bill time, I said. My wife made a mild protest – why buy a newspaper when you can read things online or use phone apps. Valid argument. But then, there are pros and cons to everything.

As I paid the newspaper bill, I muttered why it feels better to read a newspaper. But there’s been something else that’s been behind my urge to continue with a newspaper in this digital era.

And no, it’s not the idea that I need to hold a paper and read it as part of my morning routine – I ain’t the paper types – have switched to Kindle instead of stocking books long back.

There was a time in between when I had moved to online/apps to get my daily dose of news and views. Twitter was exciting and fun with instant views and counter-views. And of course, there were the numerous apps from all news channels and publications that I read on a daily basis.

But as I spent time on those news apps and on social media to get my fix in the intervening years, it slowly dawned upon me that I was also wasting a lot of time being led astray or just being consumed in the news world. Using these apps a couple of hours a day was fanning an addiction within me to stay connected and up to date on what’s happening across everything in the world, just because it felt good. And it was taking me away from reading meaningful stuff and instead cluttering my mind with things that weren’t really required to be there.

So, after those years in digital news Lala-land, last year I decided to reduce my screen time on these apps. I deleted all but one of those news apps from my phone. I looked at all the sites that I visited often and chose a handful that offered me real, meaningful stuff and subscribed to their newsletters. And I absolutely cut down on reading news on social media.

Now I login to the news app for reading about once or twice a week. I still login to social media everyday but to wish birthdays, look at what my connections are up to, and to connect in a real sense. But my dose of news now comes from the newspaper – concise and once a day. It keeps my perspective fresh without urging me to know everything that’s happening instantly.

The benefit – I have started reading much more of the meaningful stuff. From the newsletters/digests I get. From platforms like Wired and Inc42 and Medium. I have gone back to reading books on diverse subjects and broadening my horizons.

This has perhaps made me aloof from the social media and the incessant views and opinions on almost everything. But it has definitely brought back some semblance into my life.

Well, the reason for this rant is two-fold – I was today running through Twitter and felt the urge to hop into those views and counter-views but remembering my decision, stopped short and was forced to think on the subject. On a different note, I met someone yesterday who reads 100 books a year and as I was reflecting on the conversation with him, it occurred to me that how the number of people who are reading have increased but it’s got more to do with the urge to be informed than being knowledgeable.

And I had to write about how I escaped that spiral. About how the switchover has been a real life changer for me by decluttering my mind space. And in today’s fast world of numerous commitments and stress, that’s definitely been a relief.

As I close this piece, I hope that we all read and learn better and grow in our chosen paths to become well-read and not just well-informed.

New year resolution

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

A new year begins. Or as some people are enthusiastically calling it, a new decade.

Over the years, all of us have grown accustomed to celebrating the new year eve and vouching for new year resolutions ranging from getting fitter to taking less stress to following our passion. Some people plot their dreams and goals and stick them everywhere to create a positive reinforcement cycle.

It’s another matter that most of us forget about these resolutions and go back to the old rhythm. The dreams and goals are forgotten in the cold gush of the reality wind.

So when my wife asked me “what are your goals for the coming year”, it caught me unawares as I hadn’t thought about the subject at all. Somewhat ashamed, it got me thinking of two things – do I want to set some goals, if yes what’s my plan to make them happen. And if no, why?

You see, we like to conform to the society’s notion that we are constantly improving ourselves in all spheres – personal, professional, financial, spiritual etc. But it may not be as important for me as a person to focus on improvement in one of these aspects than let’s say another person X. So what kind of a goal do I want and do I really want to achieve it? I kept thinking for the last few days.

Then, on a longish flight on Sunday, devoid of other pursuits, I decided to apply my mind to this matter.

Now, in my opinion, if I am not obsessing over a goal, it’s pursuit is not going to last long. And I might as well save that time to focus on better things. Combined with the belief that if I keep at something sincerely, I will do well in it eventually, it dawned on me that I didn’t want to have any improvement goal this year, if at all.

After some thought, I have chosen to do something which is going to expand my horizons, literally. I am just going to follow something that got lost for sometime.

Long forgotten within me has been a writer lurking inside, someone who had taken a backseat in the hustle of life over the last 3 years or so.

So, this new year I am attempting to write again. Beginning with this post. Adding a new one every week and perhaps a few stories that I want to tell. Let’s see. Right now, it’s just an attempt to get back to an ex-flame. Hope to endeavour and make it burn brighter as the year progresses.

What A Life Changing Experience…

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There I was… Sitting in the OT with my wife’s hand in mine, looking at the team of doctors going through their motion to deliver our baby. Yes, our bundle of joy, ready to come out in the world!

It had been almost 10 years of knowing each other. Going through a strong relationship hand-in-hand and facing all of life’s challenges and enjoying all the wonderful moments. But I had never been more nervous in my wife’s presence!

She had been patient all through the 9 months and had gracefully accepted motherhood-in-waiting. I was however, in the in-between zone. Waiting to transition from a husband to a father. From a son to a grown-up, responsible man.

That perhaps explained my nervousness. My anticipation was rising all the time. I couldn’t believe myself.

However, a few minutes later, it would all change. The nervousness to be replaced by my confident transition to a father. And to a calm, composed, caring husband.

It started with the assistant pointing to the clock (for me to note the time) and as I looked at it, time seemed to pause. I could feel myself holding my breath. And the transition was complete in that second, with a shrill cry and the doctor announcing the arrival of our baby girl! 🙂

Life has given me many a chances to experience things that have been uniquely mine to savour. But this was simply another level.

I am a father now! A promoted, changed husband!

Yes, I can call myself a man now. Fatherhood does that to people…

Experimentation Ahoy!!! Part 2…

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

As after effects of my last post, I thought through my own life until now… Turns out, experimentation is what I have been doing all my life!

I had always wanted to be in the Army. When all my friends were gunning for engineering, I was running around, quite literally, to get fit for the Armed Forces. Everyone thought I was taking a risk not writing other exams and my experimentation would cost me but I stuck to it and came through.

After a couple of years, I had to withdraw due to medical reasons when I suffered an accident. At that time, it sure tasted like hell. But now, when I look back, that gave wings to my mind! It allowed me to move to Delhi – the first metro I ever lived in and I started experimenting more…

I completed my graduation and got into IT. I had the choice to join Infosys – a biggie in the Indian IT field. But I decided to experiment and chose Acme Technologies, a company most people wouldn’t have heard of.

And yet, it proved to be a great choice because what I learned while working there, I couldn’t have at any other “big” company. Experimentation made me better!

Being a techie was cool but there were other important things to do in life. And so I decided to go for an MBA. I chose a non-traditional 1-year MBA over a 2-year one and it gave me exposure like nothing else before. It made me question my beliefs and broadened my horizon! My instincts to experiment got sharper!

Post my MBA, I again had 2 choices – joining a consulting biggie in the UAE, as most would have done, or to come back to India and figure out what to do next along with my job. No guesses, I chose the second option to continue on the path of experimentation…

It only got bigger and better from here. Instead of settling down into a six figure salary every month and a chance to live outside India, which would have been ideal for my ilk, I chose to quit the job I had and started up! Experimentation became a part of my daily life!

Have had a roller coaster ride in the last 5 years but what an experience it has been! Being in a job definitely wouldn’t have taught me what I have learned. So definitely, experience made me richer.

Experimentation has allowed me to taste different flavours of life and enjoy the journey. And I continue to plot and plod what experiments await me next.

Something new. Something challenging.

But definitely not mundane, boring stuff.

And definitely, no settling down!

Experimentation Ahoy!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am 33 going on 34.

Maybe, I could sing a song with these lyrics and I could become famous just like Bryan Adams!

Or maybe, I am too old for that.

Wait. What?

33 and old, nah!

But that’s how people would react if I told them just now that I wanted to be a singer. I would be bombarded with questions like – “Oh, you realised soon enough in life!”, “Were you deliberately trying to waste time up till now?”, or simply “What a dud, wants to chose something entirely new at 33!”.

And that’s how our society fares when it comes to new vs. old.

Every time we strive to unfold a new horizon in our life, we are brought down to earth by the circumspect, all-invasive non-sense that the society pulls on us. And then, when we grow old, we regret not doing certain things when the time was right!

But what about now? 33 going on 34 shouldn’t certainly be a deal breaker. I mean if our heroes can do superhuman acts when they are 60 plus, I am just half their age.

The real problem is in embracing change I believe.

We as a society have become too much of good natured, follow-the-pattern people. If someone tries to break the mould, he is doomed in our eyes. Maybe not, but that’s how we react.

The other day, while meeting someone new, I was asked about what I am doing. I told them I am running my own setup and have just shifted base. The reaction in their eyes was – “Oh, you are not yet settled!”

Firstly, I don’t give a damn what others say or think. As someone wise said, its none of my business. Secondly, does settling down mean buying a house, living in the same surroundings for years together, doing the same work day in and day out? Then, sorry! I don’t want to settle ever.

I mean, there are 10,000 things to do in life. There are so many places to see. Why dig a hole in a place, how-so-ever nice, and stay there forever. Keep moving and experiencing new things. That’s my motto!

I am clear. I am not going to settle. Work-wise, I will do what I like. Maybe, my startup might not work out and I might have to go back to a job. That’s ok. Maybe, I become a millionaire and roam the world care-free. That’s good.

But one thing I can promise is – I am not ready to settle into the old school way of living life.

What a relief it is to realise that 33 going on 34 isn’t old! Life’s just begun. Time to experiment!

How womanly should we be!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

So the annual ritual of paying respect to women is over. March 8 is gone. But it should not be!!!

Well, I for one am not too much of a lover of these celebrated days. I think they eulogize what’s wrong or as in case of women’s day, remind us that we need to actually consider women as equals, pay them respect and so on…

I think they take away the sheen. Why?? Here’s why…

I and you and everyone else was born from a woman. That should be enough to hold women in higher esteem. I mean, who amongst men are ready to bear a child in their body for 9 months? Leave aside the after-birth shenanigans that all mothers must go through.

We all grow up and we always seek shelter with a woman. We love our sisters and protect them at all costs, we adore our female friends and secretly wish they would be with us. We look at couples and get jealous if the guy looks lousy. We would do anything to please the woman of our dreams and get her to be on our side. 

Yet, we also secretly harbour ill within us, within our society. We grow up and suddenly we want to show our power. And I am talking about all men, including yours truly.

We think somehow we are superior to a girl or a lady – mentally, physically etc. And it is manifested in the way we treat females – as objects of desire who are walking talking show-pieces. We look at them askance if they do some wrong, as if they must be perfect.

We want them to be pretty and fair and slim and tall, while ourselves being average, not so fair, fat and stout. We want to mate almost all of them and yet call them names even if we just see them walking or talking to a single guy!

And that’s the reason we have all sorts of crimes against women. And across the globe, not just in India. That’s why there is gender discrimination everywhere and that’s why our collective consciousness towards crimes against women is so low… And that’s why things don’t improve.

I mean, let’s grow up. We are not in some Before Christ era, where we are slaves to the traditional patriarchal society that we must look down upon the female sex.

Long gone are the days when women were meant to be at home and rear children and satisfy their man’s needs. Today, they are equal in all respects and in fact, in my reckoning, higher in some of them. They are beating men square in most fields.

And doing that while continuing to fulfill all those responsibilities that the society asks of them. A man cannot even think of doing a few of these things simultaneously!

My respect for women has gone up several notches in the past few years and still it sometimes leaves me dazed that my wife or mother or sisters accept me as I am and respect me without looking down upon my weaknesses.

It’s time I accept them as they are and respect them.

And its time we all did the same to all the women in our lives and all those whom we come across. Will make the world a better place to live in!!!

The many groups I belong to! And what social media made me realise…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I have been a frequent mover all my life!

It started with my father’s transfers which was pretty much every 3 years. So I changed schools 6 times during my elementary education. Then I joined the Army and traveled to 2 more places. Then 2 more for my MBA. My job took me to 2 different places. And I am at a new place as I write this!

It was really cumbersome during childhood to make friends in new places. I did not have a dedicated friend circle with whom I grew up. And it kind of riled me sometimes.

But it gave me a distinct advantage – I have many groups I belong to. And as I have grown up, I realised this subconsciously – the more the number of groups I belonged to, the more I grew in life. But the realisation hit home recently when I inadvertently became a part of a high school group on WhatsApp.

As it happened, during our high school days we were a small gang of boys and have stayed in touch through all our life. Some great friends there! But we had no girls in our group! Quite surprising, when I come to think of it now! Don’t ask me why, I’m yet to figure out! 🙂

Anyways, we all got onto this new group with a bunch of girls (now ladies) whom we had studied with. We had been connected on FaceBook and other mediums but never interacted much.

It all changed the last couple of weeks. In fact, talking about this group here seems funny because just a couple of weeks ago half the people in there were almost strangers to me!

The girls have gone on to play some awesome roles – enterprising housewives, doctor, consultant and above all as a mother. And the guys are all pretty settled in their respective family lives. But in the past couple of weeks, we have discovered a funny side to ourselves…

We laugh and banter with each other on silly things, as if high school days are back. We take digs at each other knowing fully well no one will be offended. We share our family’s moments within the group and have formed a mutual admiration society in between ourselves talking about myriad things. It has given us new friends to share our joys and sorrows with. In fact, we wonder why we did not interact even a 100th of what we have done over the last 2 weeks!

It was perhaps meant to be now! While we were all busy in the humdrum of our lives, we were missing the fun and joy and smiles that only childhood friends can bring on. And for all we are worth, we are all much more happier these days, enjoying and reliving those memories of our childhood and becoming kids again…

And its the same across all groups – be it family or friends! Social media has bought us all closer on an informal level that nothing could. It has given us the freedom to express and associate with and learn from each other.

The positive impact these interactions have, far outweigh the time spent on social media. I feel we all owe it to the social media revolution engulfing our lives, where we all are connected and share our happy and sad times with others. Otherwise, in our cocooned existence in today’s world, its easy to become lonely and get lost!

I am sure there are more surprises in store in the future as social media evolves! As Martin Buber said “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”, so I move along, ready to experience new things and enjoy the old times with my numerous groups!!!

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!

The Long Absence…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Reading news today morning, I came across an article claiming that the new government isn’t interacting with the media as much as it used to be; it is almost as if they have voluntarily decided to be under the radar. This reminded me of my long absence from the blogging world…

Now, the news article might have been hinting at some broad political strategy. My absence has been rather non-strategical. Its been plain simple – I haven’t been writing! But there are reasons why I was missing for almost last 3 months.

Well, I took to reading a lot (a habit which has always been there and surprises my wife even to this day – c’mon honey you have got to give me credit that I have stuck to it inspite of accusations of all kinds from you), started writing a novel (whoa, a long cherished version of mine), traveled and self-reflected a lot (business and personal), spent time with the family (quite naturally because IPL is not something you can watch all day as opposed to the on-going world cup), and even started a new venture and on the verge of another! Quite something…

Naturally all these things took precedence and I just abstained from writing. But having emerged victorious to this other side (proof is in this post), I can emphatically say that from now on I am going to be more regular (sounds familiar, eh). In fact, I am going to publish a new post each week and perhaps 2 if I feel up to it. And I know, some of you (ok, most of you) might not be very happy with my return (who am I writing for then?), I will still write to improve myself and to prove to myself that I can! (Obama style!!!)

Cheers to the new wave of my blogs then! See you all with the next post soon…

I’m Back!

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After a long time, keeping all the other work aside, here I am – back to one thing I think I have always loved doing… Writing my thoughts down! Its been a long time coming and I have over multiple times tried to unleash the writer within, but somehow it wasn’t to be until today.

What brought about the need – just freedom to write down what I wish to without worrying about anything else – a way to lose myself in the midst of so many thoughts and come out with a refreshed perspective – is what is driving me right now! Hope to do some good to myself and maybe contribute in some ways to the larger world!!!