What A Life Changing Experience…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There I was… Sitting in the OT with my wife’s hand in mine, looking at the team of doctors going through their motion to deliver our baby. Yes, our bundle of joy, ready to come out in the world!

It had been almost 10 years of knowing each other. Going through a strong relationship hand-in-hand and facing all of life’s challenges and enjoying all the wonderful moments. But I had never been more nervous in my wife’s presence!

She had been patient all through the 9 months and had gracefully accepted motherhood-in-waiting. I was however, in the in-between zone. Waiting to transition from a husband to a father. From a son to a grown-up, responsible man.

That perhaps explained my nervousness. My anticipation was rising all the time. I couldn’t believe myself.

However, a few minutes later, it would all change. The nervousness to be replaced by my confident transition to a father. And to a calm, composed, caring husband.

It started with the assistant pointing to the clock (for me to note the time) and as I looked at it, time seemed to pause. I could feel myself holding my breath. And the transition was complete in that second, with a shrill cry and the doctor announcing the arrival of our baby girl! 🙂

Life has given me many a chances to experience things that have been uniquely mine to savour. But this was simply another level.

I am a father now! A promoted, changed husband!

Yes, I can call myself a man now. Fatherhood does that to people…

Our Phoney World

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have had multiple affairs in the past 6 years since I came back to India after my MBA. And my wife has been super supportive through all of this!

Wait. I am talking about my affairs with mobile phones – using multiple platforms, different worlds, ecosystems et al. Not the sensational tell-all you expected after the first line. But an interesting one nevertheless…

It all started with my long love for Apple and its incredible devices. I got myself an iPhone 3GS the day it launched – first day first show types. And I waited for it to come out in the Indian market for almost 2 months. Talk about loyalty.

As they say, this could have been a happy ever after story. But alas, for my haste. I drowned it in my washing machine, trying to quickly take care of laundry after a long business trip. It was RIP to a faithful companion.

There were 2 after-shocks – one of course of losing my beloved phone just nigh of 2 years, and second which I am still reeling with. No more expensive buys because you wouldn’t be able to handle it carefully (Background echo from my wife all the time).

And so, I moved on. Reluctantly, I got onto the BB bandwagon. Emails and BBMs were the in-things then and it could do the job admirably. But the faster I fell in love with it, the faster I lost interest. It was like a short fling. No apps, no flashy things to do got me bored pretty quickly. Add to that the shoddy build quality and I was up against arms in just about an year.

So I moved on to the next one – Windows Phone. I had not considered Android primarily because the good devices were expensive (I was barred to look at them). And Windows Phone looked sexy.

It wasn’t love at first sight but slowly I got to appreciate the finer things. It held my spell for almost 18 months before I felt the next pang to move on. And that too, only because I required to keep 2 SIMs and they didn’t have dual-SIM phones at that time.

So with a lot of good memories, I moved on to Android. Skeptical at first, I slowly thought I was going to like it. But then, it flummoxed me. I mean, the platform is way too complex. I am a techie but I appreciate the simple stuff. And so, I quietly decided to ditch it and move back to my first love.

But then, just as I had readied myself for a long drawn out battle to continue with the not so likeable platform for some more time, I got a deal and I took it. And so, after 10 months on Android, I am moving back to Windows Phone. And hopefully from there, to iPhone (skip BlackBerry, who goes there)! Let’s see if my wife permits…

What’s the whole point you might be guessing! Well, its actually 2 points, or observations.

Number one, we have grown accustomed to using our phones so much that we cannot tolerate not loving it. In fact, I end up using it almost as much of the awake time as I am with my wife everyday. True fact! And so, they have become an almost inseparable part of our personalities. Who could have thought it 10 years ago! Best example of how technology evolution has taken over our lives.

Number two, we are slowly moving towards a consumption economy where we change things frequently and throw out the non-desirable stuff. Its good and its bad. No opinions. But its a fundamental shift in how our generation is thinking.

As to the mobile platforms – everyone has their favourites and I don’t want to contest it. Enjoy your iPhone, Android Phone, Windows Phone, and whichever other phone..

And keep experimenting!!!

Experimentation Ahoy!!! Part 2…

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

As after effects of my last post, I thought through my own life until now… Turns out, experimentation is what I have been doing all my life!

I had always wanted to be in the Army. When all my friends were gunning for engineering, I was running around, quite literally, to get fit for the Armed Forces. Everyone thought I was taking a risk not writing other exams and my experimentation would cost me but I stuck to it and came through.

After a couple of years, I had to withdraw due to medical reasons when I suffered an accident. At that time, it sure tasted like hell. But now, when I look back, that gave wings to my mind! It allowed me to move to Delhi – the first metro I ever lived in and I started experimenting more…

I completed my graduation and got into IT. I had the choice to join Infosys – a biggie in the Indian IT field. But I decided to experiment and chose Acme Technologies, a company most people wouldn’t have heard of.

And yet, it proved to be a great choice because what I learned while working there, I couldn’t have at any other “big” company. Experimentation made me better!

Being a techie was cool but there were other important things to do in life. And so I decided to go for an MBA. I chose a non-traditional 1-year MBA over a 2-year one and it gave me exposure like nothing else before. It made me question my beliefs and broadened my horizon! My instincts to experiment got sharper!

Post my MBA, I again had 2 choices – joining a consulting biggie in the UAE, as most would have done, or to come back to India and figure out what to do next along with my job. No guesses, I chose the second option to continue on the path of experimentation…

It only got bigger and better from here. Instead of settling down into a six figure salary every month and a chance to live outside India, which would have been ideal for my ilk, I chose to quit the job I had and started up! Experimentation became a part of my daily life!

Have had a roller coaster ride in the last 5 years but what an experience it has been! Being in a job definitely wouldn’t have taught me what I have learned. So definitely, experience made me richer.

Experimentation has allowed me to taste different flavours of life and enjoy the journey. And I continue to plot and plod what experiments await me next.

Something new. Something challenging.

But definitely not mundane, boring stuff.

And definitely, no settling down!

Experimentation Ahoy!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I am 33 going on 34.

Maybe, I could sing a song with these lyrics and I could become famous just like Bryan Adams!

Or maybe, I am too old for that.

Wait. What?

33 and old, nah!

But that’s how people would react if I told them just now that I wanted to be a singer. I would be bombarded with questions like – “Oh, you realised soon enough in life!”, “Were you deliberately trying to waste time up till now?”, or simply “What a dud, wants to chose something entirely new at 33!”.

And that’s how our society fares when it comes to new vs. old.

Every time we strive to unfold a new horizon in our life, we are brought down to earth by the circumspect, all-invasive non-sense that the society pulls on us. And then, when we grow old, we regret not doing certain things when the time was right!

But what about now? 33 going on 34 shouldn’t certainly be a deal breaker. I mean if our heroes can do superhuman acts when they are 60 plus, I am just half their age.

The real problem is in embracing change I believe.

We as a society have become too much of good natured, follow-the-pattern people. If someone tries to break the mould, he is doomed in our eyes. Maybe not, but that’s how we react.

The other day, while meeting someone new, I was asked about what I am doing. I told them I am running my own setup and have just shifted base. The reaction in their eyes was – “Oh, you are not yet settled!”

Firstly, I don’t give a damn what others say or think. As someone wise said, its none of my business. Secondly, does settling down mean buying a house, living in the same surroundings for years together, doing the same work day in and day out? Then, sorry! I don’t want to settle ever.

I mean, there are 10,000 things to do in life. There are so many places to see. Why dig a hole in a place, how-so-ever nice, and stay there forever. Keep moving and experiencing new things. That’s my motto!

I am clear. I am not going to settle. Work-wise, I will do what I like. Maybe, my startup might not work out and I might have to go back to a job. That’s ok. Maybe, I become a millionaire and roam the world care-free. That’s good.

But one thing I can promise is – I am not ready to settle into the old school way of living life.

What a relief it is to realise that 33 going on 34 isn’t old! Life’s just begun. Time to experiment!

I Don’t Know it All…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I had a dream. I knew nothing about what was happening. I was clueless about my surroundings. And I was blissfully unaware of the people around me.

Yet, in some strange way I felt wonderful. I didn’t know it all!

In my daily life, I have often come across people claiming to know it all. And then most of us pretend to know it all. And act as if we are the authority on any given subject.

Now I am not an expert on people’s behaviour or anything related to psychology. I am guessing this is how most of us are programmed in our society.

If you don’t know something you are considered ignorant. If you don’t get involved, you are considered cold. If you stay away, you are termed arrogant.

And so everyone is a know-it-all.

But then, what about genuinely not knowing stuff?

I don’t know a lot of things a lot of times. And I have started accepting it. I deliberately take a step back and leave it to the others, who are experts at it, to accomplish what I can’t.

And it has simplified my life!

Having the understanding deep within that I don’t have to do everything makes me feel lighter. It helps me to declutter my mind and focus on the few things which I am good at. Or what I can reasonably accomplish.

I feel if I can do even a bit of what I want to accomplish, I will feel good. So, hopefully this new strategy will pay off and I will accomplish more.

Alas, peeping into the future is not my speciality!

How womanly should we be!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

So the annual ritual of paying respect to women is over. March 8 is gone. But it should not be!!!

Well, I for one am not too much of a lover of these celebrated days. I think they eulogize what’s wrong or as in case of women’s day, remind us that we need to actually consider women as equals, pay them respect and so on…

I think they take away the sheen. Why?? Here’s why…

I and you and everyone else was born from a woman. That should be enough to hold women in higher esteem. I mean, who amongst men are ready to bear a child in their body for 9 months? Leave aside the after-birth shenanigans that all mothers must go through.

We all grow up and we always seek shelter with a woman. We love our sisters and protect them at all costs, we adore our female friends and secretly wish they would be with us. We look at couples and get jealous if the guy looks lousy. We would do anything to please the woman of our dreams and get her to be on our side. 

Yet, we also secretly harbour ill within us, within our society. We grow up and suddenly we want to show our power. And I am talking about all men, including yours truly.

We think somehow we are superior to a girl or a lady – mentally, physically etc. And it is manifested in the way we treat females – as objects of desire who are walking talking show-pieces. We look at them askance if they do some wrong, as if they must be perfect.

We want them to be pretty and fair and slim and tall, while ourselves being average, not so fair, fat and stout. We want to mate almost all of them and yet call them names even if we just see them walking or talking to a single guy!

And that’s the reason we have all sorts of crimes against women. And across the globe, not just in India. That’s why there is gender discrimination everywhere and that’s why our collective consciousness towards crimes against women is so low… And that’s why things don’t improve.

I mean, let’s grow up. We are not in some Before Christ era, where we are slaves to the traditional patriarchal society that we must look down upon the female sex.

Long gone are the days when women were meant to be at home and rear children and satisfy their man’s needs. Today, they are equal in all respects and in fact, in my reckoning, higher in some of them. They are beating men square in most fields.

And doing that while continuing to fulfill all those responsibilities that the society asks of them. A man cannot even think of doing a few of these things simultaneously!

My respect for women has gone up several notches in the past few years and still it sometimes leaves me dazed that my wife or mother or sisters accept me as I am and respect me without looking down upon my weaknesses.

It’s time I accept them as they are and respect them.

And its time we all did the same to all the women in our lives and all those whom we come across. Will make the world a better place to live in!!!

The Child in Us! The secret to business success…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

All of us were children once! Some of us still are.

I just told you one of the secrets of being successful in business and entrepreneurship!

What is it about being child-like that prompts success when starting and running a business. I have been thinking about this topic for sometime and decided to pen down my thoughts today. 

We start our lives as a care-free, ignorant child. Lost in our own world. Oblivious to what’s happening around us or in the world. Blissfully unaware of our surroundings. The only thing that matters to us during those days is NOTHING!!! 

And then we start growing up. We slowly learn things and become aware about what’s happening around us. We start recognising people and pick up their habits and mannerisms. Ignorance is lost and that’s the first blow! 

We grow up more and enter the education world keen to make friends and play. We learn a lot in the process and become aware of what’s happening in the world. As a result, we start forming opinions and deciding our boundaries and limitations. Blow no. 2! 

We enter teenage and are often rebellious. We want to do things the other way. But then, that’s not how you do things honey! And we are stopped in our tracks to try out new things. ‘You can’t do that’, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, ‘I hope you get back to doing something better’, and the quintessential ‘What will people say’ are statements that we hear. And we lose our enthusiasm for trying out. No. 3! 

And then we finally enter the work sphere in our lives. And all our remaining hopes get quashed. We have to function as per the defined processes. We have to stay within our limits and not try new things. We must follow orders and stick to the protocol. Gone is our last remaining ounce of child-like thoughts by this latest blow.

That perhaps explains why a lot of people desire to do something of their own but can’t muster enough courage to try it out. The fear of failure and rebuttal dissuaded them. Something which was absent when they were a child!

Successful entrepreneurs on the other hand keep that inner child alive and kicking and come out triumphant on the other side of life to start a business. They nurture their inner child and grow in between the Nay-sayers and doubting Thomases. They don’t care if they fail or succeed, it just matters that they do what their heart and mind wishes for. And they know, even if they fail, it will be great learning and they will live on to fight another day.

The world looks at them in awe! But it was just the inner child that they kept on nurturing and enthusing all this while to succeed and live the life of freedom and dreams…

The many groups I belong to! And what social media made me realise…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I have been a frequent mover all my life!

It started with my father’s transfers which was pretty much every 3 years. So I changed schools 6 times during my elementary education. Then I joined the Army and traveled to 2 more places. Then 2 more for my MBA. My job took me to 2 different places. And I am at a new place as I write this!

It was really cumbersome during childhood to make friends in new places. I did not have a dedicated friend circle with whom I grew up. And it kind of riled me sometimes.

But it gave me a distinct advantage – I have many groups I belong to. And as I have grown up, I realised this subconsciously – the more the number of groups I belonged to, the more I grew in life. But the realisation hit home recently when I inadvertently became a part of a high school group on WhatsApp.

As it happened, during our high school days we were a small gang of boys and have stayed in touch through all our life. Some great friends there! But we had no girls in our group! Quite surprising, when I come to think of it now! Don’t ask me why, I’m yet to figure out! 🙂

Anyways, we all got onto this new group with a bunch of girls (now ladies) whom we had studied with. We had been connected on FaceBook and other mediums but never interacted much.

It all changed the last couple of weeks. In fact, talking about this group here seems funny because just a couple of weeks ago half the people in there were almost strangers to me!

The girls have gone on to play some awesome roles – enterprising housewives, doctor, consultant and above all as a mother. And the guys are all pretty settled in their respective family lives. But in the past couple of weeks, we have discovered a funny side to ourselves…

We laugh and banter with each other on silly things, as if high school days are back. We take digs at each other knowing fully well no one will be offended. We share our family’s moments within the group and have formed a mutual admiration society in between ourselves talking about myriad things. It has given us new friends to share our joys and sorrows with. In fact, we wonder why we did not interact even a 100th of what we have done over the last 2 weeks!

It was perhaps meant to be now! While we were all busy in the humdrum of our lives, we were missing the fun and joy and smiles that only childhood friends can bring on. And for all we are worth, we are all much more happier these days, enjoying and reliving those memories of our childhood and becoming kids again…

And its the same across all groups – be it family or friends! Social media has bought us all closer on an informal level that nothing could. It has given us the freedom to express and associate with and learn from each other.

The positive impact these interactions have, far outweigh the time spent on social media. I feel we all owe it to the social media revolution engulfing our lives, where we all are connected and share our happy and sad times with others. Otherwise, in our cocooned existence in today’s world, its easy to become lonely and get lost!

I am sure there are more surprises in store in the future as social media evolves! As Martin Buber said “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”, so I move along, ready to experience new things and enjoy the old times with my numerous groups!!!

Aren’t we overdoing hypocrisy?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

During the last few days, the following points have flashed across my mind –

Hyperbole against the recent roast video with some Indian celebs (yes, I am referring to the infamous AIB channel)! Reactions against Valentine’s day, a repeat telecast more or less every year (with new twists)! Faces of people watching a movie where a love scene is being played out (and countless other intimate scenes)! Inter-caste marriages and the rigidity against them…

All of these only pointed me towards one single thought – aren’t we overdoing hypocrisy?

As I tried to address these thoughts and reason them out in favour and opposition both, it appeared to me that hypocrisy has become our second nature!

What is wrong with some celebs being roasted and profane language being used in front of a private audience and only available on a YouTube video channel, when all are matured adults. We are all used to hearing all kinds of those words in every-day parlance. I have heard even women mouth some! And most children in all kinds of societies start swearing pretty early these days. But put it on a video and it becomes taboo? Sounds convoluted.

Or the actions and reactions on Valentine’s day! Seriously, what’s wrong with people celebrating love? Well, for one, I don’t really subscribe to the Valentine’s Day theory – for me expressing love is a personal matter that I indulge in on a regular basis. But why hold it against those who do – they are living in a free world! Moral policing only makes it look regressive, which is the least we should expect our society to head towards.

Even with intimate or love-making scenes, we almost all times overdo our reactions. Either the channel is changed on TV or people start looking at their mobiles or newspapers or turn to talk to each other in the cinema hall. Seriously, did we become a 1.3 billion nation without intimacy? We need to grow up and accept it as a regular and normal part of our lives and behave maturely. And a passionate kiss on screen won’t be a big deal anymore…

Lastly, my favourite – inter-caste marriages! I am happily married to the lady of my choice and it matters the least to me or to my family which caste she belongs to, as long as she understands me (she does, better than myself)! If 2 people are in love with each other and want to marry, what’s wrong with that is something I have never gotten over with. In fact, parents and families should be double happy that their son\daughter are going to be loved all through life and aren’t entering a contract with invisible compromises or money exchange!

Even in other walks of life and in too many of our decisions, we exhibit this same hypocrisy in doing things while hiding from others but berating them when out in public. Isn’t it time that we accept being a responsible citizen of the free world and let everyone live their lives as to their liking? We shouldn’t even be bothering ourselves with what others are doing or saying or thinking.

In fact, that’s a mantra to live by and make life easy. This year, I am personally focusing on cutting out the clutter around me to simplify my life. This involves removing hypocritical reactions to what people around me do and not tying my brain’s processing down (and reduce my productivity). And it’s been yielding fabulous results – I concentrate more and am thinking more positive thoughts!

Hoping more people think less about others and focus on their lives. And become less hypocrite and accept the obvious in front of others. And then we all can do so much better and be happier…

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

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I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!