I turn 5!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Five is a good milestone in life!

I remember how I celebrated when I turned 5.

I invited a lot of my friends, the first proper memory of me celebrating a birthday.

Those days birthdays used to be at home, so there was decoration, cake, and some eatables. All organised at home.

My friends were eager to lap up all of it and there was a lot of excitement as the cake was cut. We played for a while after that and wound up the party late in the evening.

I was happy that I was going to go to first grade in school in the new school session. I was a young boy now!

I couldn’t feel or provide the same level of excitement to our daughter when she turned 5. Her fifth was just after the first round of Covid and we could only manage a low key celebration at home with cousins over.

She was however happy to have celebrated it and we all had a good time. It was also time to acknowledge that she was now growing up to be a young girl, ready to start her learning journey.

Today, as I write this post, I have a similar feeling. Its been five years since I decided to take writing seriously and am elated at having completed 5 years of continuous blogging.

It all started with a new year resolution in January of 2020, when I chose a Sunday rhythm to publish my blog. It’s been 260 weeks and in these 5 years, I believe I have grown as a writer. I have tried different things, ideas, and techniques.

And I have been rewarded very well by all of you who have read it at some point in time or regularly. It’s like appreciation from an elder about growing up well.

This year, I also took a break from the translation project I was working on, related to my grandfather’s work. Because after having worked on it for a year, I realised that it would be best to bring out his story in a different form and not just as a translation.

As I enter the new year, I hope to continue writing more of these blogs and also start writing a long-form story / book. Maybe someday in the future I will publish something.

And a decade or so later, when I look back at this milestone, I would realise how at this point in time my journey was just starting…

Growing up Fun.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Children are fun. But only when they are small.

Is what I used to think. Until a while back.

As our daughter is growing up, watching her actions and reactions is proving to be a great source of amusement. And learning. In the right way.

This week, there were two instances when I saw my own little self in her. It was both surprising and fun.

The first one was when she was prepping up for her sports day at school. Watching her get ready for participation, I was motivating her to give it her best without worrying about the result. It brought back memories of my early years when my parents used to play that role for me.

In the second instance, while on vacation, it was bemusing to see her reactions toward younger kids around us. She was giggling at their behaviour and quietly watching how their parents were acting around. But also commenting on what she liked or not about what she saw.

It was as if she was suddenly older now. Worrying about the stuff us older beings have on our mind. Aware of things around her that much more, privy to how people behave and how others react to it all.

There have been multiple such instances in the last couple of years where she has left us speechless with a most common sensical take on a topic. Or when she will utter something funny, knowingly, leaving us laughing our guts out.

The discussions we have now have also evolved. From the most basic stuff to complex phenomena, she questions me on myriad things in and around us. Some known, some left to Google, nah Perplexity, to answer.

The conversations are much more deeper. About how things work, what others feel, why certain decisions are taken, and so on. And not just from a perspective of knowing about it but debating about why it must be so, or whether it is good or bad, right or wrong.

It’s also been a lesson for me on how to understand what will work or not in any given situation and how should I be prepared with alternatives to offer her. Probably a good start considering her upcoming teenage years.

But ultimately, it is all great fun. To be with, to observe and learn from, and to be partners in crime with.

So, yes, I happily accept I was wrong. And it’s such a delight to be around her and watch her grow!

Teaming up with Analogies

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We use analogies when it’s difficult to explain something directly.

But we also use them when it’s fun or appealing to discuss the same concept but in two different walks of life.

The last few days, as I went through the motion of work and life, while also catching up with some colleagues turned friends, one word kept jumping at me.

“Team”.

And as it kept coming up, in my mind I started to draw parallels across other walks of life.

The thing that stuck with me was basketball. I don’t know why. Haven’t played it much. But it did.

A rookie in basketball first learns how to hold the ball before he can start to pass. Then he learns dribbling it with his hands, then shooting, and finally getting to a place that he can score consistently.

Teams are similar. We start as novices. Even if everyone has experience under their belt. As a unit, it’s always from zero.

Then, slowly the team starts to understand their own remits and how they interplay with each other.

After a while, if done right, the players on the team move to working with each other seamlessly, helping one another and standing in for a mate.

Only a few teams reach the highest level, where each player knows when to dribble, pass, or shoot. And keeping in mind who’s good at it, so that they play to win.

As a leader, I have experienced varied degrees of team building and operational success. Although the endeavour is always to build something high performing, it’s not always that I have reached that level.

The good thing though is, once you build a solid team, or are a part of it, that bond stays. And that carries you through for years.

Something I have been a proud beneficiary of more than once.

Just like scaling a summit gives you not just a momentary high but memories and learnings for life.

Well, here’s another analogy!

The Alter Ego

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Curtains lift up. There are two characters on stage. Abdul and someone who looks just like him.

Abdul: I have never felt this strong an urge to act. I need to take this plunge now and do something on my own.

His alter ego: Seriously? You are already doing so well in your current job with this company. Why would you want to change that?

Abdul: I have been working for so long, if I want to try something, the time is now. It may be too late otherwise.

His alter ego: Precisely. It is already late buddy. You don’t stand a chance in front of these youngsters.

Abdul: I don’t think so. I have an idea, I can build a business out of it.

His alter ego: What about the income you have coming regularly? That’s savings for your retirement kitty. Once you retire, you can then do whatever you want to.

Abdul. But I feel I am passionate about this idea and can make a difference. Besides, I have enough savings to live a decent life. In the end, if nothing works, I can resume in a job anytime.

His alter ego: And you think it will be a piece of cake? You will have to sacrifice many things. Your current lifestyle will have to be curtailed, which no one in the family will like.

Abdul: Oh, right. I didn’t think about that aspect.

His alter ego: See, I am your friend. If you listen to me, you will be safe!

Abdul: What if I talk to my family and tell them about my desire to do something of my own? I have been doing so many things for them, they ought to understand my needs too.

His alter ego: Why don’t you actually think out loud about what you want to do and find if it makes sense?

Abdul: Yes, why not? It wouldn’t hurt telling my friends and family about my idea and seeking their opinion.

His alter ego (smiling mildly): Now we are talking. Let’s do this comprehensively, and then we can take a calculated decision.

Abdul: Cool, let’s revisit the decision in a few months after I have evaluated everything.

His alter ego: Also, let’s remember, we are not going to do anything rash. Only if there’s a solid plan, will we move ahead.

Abdul: You’re right. I better be sure. I cannot jeopardise anything or anybody.

His alter ego: Back to work then, it’s time to start preparing for the office trip now, we’re out for this week. Once we come back, we will plan further.

The curtain closes. Another day in Abdul’s life…

My Tribe…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We live our lives surrounded by people. Some close, some just acquaintances.

It is very rarely though that we think about how those who are close to us are playing a great supporting role in propping us up.

Everyday. Every month. Every year hopefully.

I just finished reading Andre Agassi’s biography, Open. It is a good book, he comes out quite honestly about everything he had to go through to be the player he was.

One big thing that however has stuck with me was the mention of how he built his team, his tribe. And how important he considered them in his life, going to the extent of depending on them even in the most sensitive and difficult situations.

As I reflected on this revelation, it seemed to me that we mere mortals don’t do this enough.

We don’t think about our tribe enough. Or how important they are and how we need to keep them closer.

Going back to my own experiences, I realise now that places where I had an amazing set of people around me, I did amazingly well there.

In middle school, when in quick succession, I changed schools thrice in three years and didn’t have my good friends with me, I struggled to do my best. Then, as I moved to high school, I found an amazing set of friends and those years were way better.

In my work life too, places that got the best of me, including my first job and a couple of others, I had a great set of people around me. Whom I worked with, became friends with, and hung out with. That positivity reflected in my work at those places. And vice versa.

The biggest lift I have seen however has been in my personal life. Whenever I have drifted away from those who are close to me, physically or mentally, I have suffered.

Conversely, when I have paid attention to keep them close and given importance to what they say and how they keep me honest, I have flourished. Not just once but multiple times.

And so, to me this makes a lot of sense! Keep your tribe together.

And hopefully, as years go by, that bond yields much more than what went into forging it…

Inspired!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There’s something magical about sports. I love it.

For the fun and joy it provides, of course. But also for the inspiration it provides to a mere mortal like me.

This week I had two such inspirational moments.

First was when I was reading through Andre Agassi’s biography. An extremely well written one, where he talks about his love and hate relationship with the game and his personal struggles to lay down the path of glory.

And second when I watched Virat Kohli get to his 30th hundred leaving behind the great Don Bradman. Having waited for more than a year, it was a sweet feeling to see him get there despite all odds and everyone having written him off.

These moments made me recall all the amazing things I have learnt from sports and sports people.

Playing made me grow as a person, both on and off the field. I always played something or the other – football, cricket, hockey, athletics, and volleyball.

Mutual respect, trust, resilience, discipline – all qualities I picked up along the way.

But the bigger lessons came watching some of the professional superstars.

Observing Tendulkar, and then Dravid on the cricket field made me respect discipline and humility. I modeled myself to not get swayed by success or stuck due to failure.

Following Agassi and then Federer, hitting tennis balls through the line, taught me how to do it elegantly with my head held high. Knowing I had given it my best.

Watching the great Schumacher zag through the lanes and winning against odds made me appreciate the value of never giving up. And continuing even after a bad start.

Enjoying Messi’s play on the football field helped me understand how skills and team work need to come together to do great things. And why I always need to collaborate.

There are many more instances I could take and learnings I could recall.

But one important thing I really imbibed reading about these greats behind the scene, was the fact that success doesn’t come overnight.

It has to be toiled for, day after day, hour after hour of practice. It has to be planned for, even when the chances are slim. And it has to be aspired for, to really make a dash for it.

As I wind up a whirlwind week, these are all good reminders of the game I am playing. And checking myself on how I am playing it…

Back to the Future

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The future is a subject of intense speculation…

It is scary. It is promising. It is unnerving. It is what we think it is.

But we plan for it with all our gusto. We lay out theories and approach it with a kind of certainty.

However, the reality is that we don’t really know what it holds in store for us. And specially for our kids.

As I was thinking about this last bit, a couple of conversations popped in my mind. With colleagues and friends about how things will be for our kids.

To make some sense to myself, I looked back to when I was a child. And how things have evolved.

Last 40 years have seen such rapid progress that most of us weren’t able to fathom back then. And yet, in our lifetime, we have seen so much change.

And that was magnitudes higher than what happened in the last 60-80 years!

If I apply the same logic, the progress over the next 10-20 years will be almost equivalent to what happened till now in my lifetime.

In such a scenario, those aspects of life that I hold true now, will they continue to remain relevant?

The society won’t be the same for sure. Bonds and relationships in the new generation will most likely evolve to be very different.

Work will exist but in probably different forms. There may be more reliance on technology, higher order work hopefully.

So, it seems to me, it is best to prepare our kids for a future which is most likely going to keep evolving. And will rapidly change. And get them to adjust and evolve with it.

We cannot be sure the degrees we hold or what are relevant today will continue to be relevant for our kids10-20 years from now.

We cannot be sure about how their subsequent work life will link to what they are studying.

What we can be sure of is that if we prep them up well, they will likely tide over those changes and be successful in life.

And that to me is the challenge we, as parents, must be prepared for!

Nightmare

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Vivek was sweating in the middle of a cold night.

He had just had a nightmare. One that had woken him up with a knot in his stomach.

He had dreamt of being involved in an accident and the only one to have survived. The pain of losing his near ones was unbearable, even if in a dream.

Vivek’s heart couldn’t take it and he started weeping. Lying on his bed.

Amisha, sleeping next to her, heard some faint sobs and as she turned around, Vivek had sat up in his bed now. She knew something was wrong. She too got up and hugged him.

As a few minutes passed by, Vivek sobered up. And told Amisha about the nightmare.

Amisha was well aware that Vivek hadn’t seen his parents for a while. His busy work schedule didn’t permit any leaves. And while she had put up with his schedule due to the seasonal nature of work, she knew it wasn’t sustainable.

She had only one thought in her mind…

They slowly slept off, Vivek cuddled like a baby next to her.

The next day, once they both left for office, Amisha booked tickets for her in-laws to visit them for an extended period of time. She also booked a couple of trips with them, to ensure they were able to spend time together at leisure.

That Saturday, as Vivek got up, he saw Amisha wasn’t at home. She had left him a note mentioning she was out for some weekend errands and would be back only by the afternoon.

He lazed around for a bit and then got something to eat. Around noon, while he was still trying to figure out what to do, he heard the doorbell.

His parents were at the door. It was a surprise Vivek had not dreamt of.

He hugged them both, and saw Amisha standing behind, smiling silently. He hugged her too.

The nightmare had led to a beautiful reunion, unanticipated but most welcome…

And the Music begins…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Last few weeks have been a pleasant surprise for me!

Our daughter had shown no particular inclination until now towards music. She did recognise songs quickly, hummed some tunes silently while in a happy mood. And she sometimes remembered lyrics.

But I took it as a mark of her intelligence or soft skills.

Until, she took to Ukelele at school. And picked up the skills quite rapidly.

Last weekend she sang and played at a party in our community with an effusive attitude. Which again was another surprise because she hadn’t performed in front of a larger crowd earlier.

When we were talking the next day and she narrated her experience to me, it took me back to my own childhood.

As a child, I saw my uncle play a couple of traditional Indian instruments and took a liking to singing. It was my way of expressing myself musically.

I could be found singing anywhere. I became very good at remembering tunes and lyrics. Starting reluctantly at first, I also sang at school gatherings and social parties.

I then tried learning the guitar while at high school but gave it up for want of time. Singing continued sporadically. Some good streaks and then a period of hibernation.

The love for music has persisted throughout though. Increasing each year. Going beyond what I know, to discover newer forms of music and new (or rather old) artists.

However, as I reflect back, I feel that I could have done so much more but didn’t pay enough attention to the craft. A partial void in my life.

So when I heard my daughter’s experience, my heart was elated.

I could sense a pride in her voice, a feeling that she is turning into someone who appreciates music.

I didn’t tell her anything, except to encourage her and to guide her to continue learning and enjoying.

But somewhere in my mind, there’s a secret desire for her to be more regular with it. For, that will be my vicarious pleasure if I get to watch her lean into music, even as I grow older.

In the moment!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We were at a school event. Our daughter and her classmates were going to perform in front of their parents.

Seated slightly far away, we were observing the kids performances relatively calmly. When our daughter’s turn came to perform, we took out our mobiles and captured it customarily on video.

Post that day, we haven’t looked at that video even once! And I am not sure if we will ever look at it again.

Except for maybe when the photos app throws it as a reminder, about what happened that day or month back in 2024. Which will be nostalgic and a memory worth preserving.

Or so it seems…

What about the actual event and why we had been there? What about capturing that memory in our hearts when it was actually happening?

That day, as well as every now and then, when there’s something happening worth watching, I see everyone zoom in on their phone cameras. Strategically positioned in front of their eyes or just above, to avoid the swarm of heads in front.

Trying to keep our hands stable, so that the video doesn’t shake, we strive to capture the happening for posterity.

But in that process, I haven’t seen myself enjoy the actual show as much. As much as when I don’t have my phone camera switched on.

Maybe it’s me. I don’t like to double task.

Or maybe it’s my rational mind. Why waste phone memory when I have the actual event captured in my mind and heart?

Or maybe it is the pressure of not doing what everyone else is doing. And how can I not follow societal norms!

Or maybe, it’s the anxiety of losing out on this moment once it’s gone and so capturing it makes more sense.

Or maybe (the last one), I do care about posterity and nostalgia and do want to save these memories forever, for some AI to notify and auto generate albums and slideshows somewhere in the distant future.

I don’t know which maybe is the correct one here. Genuinely.

Maybe (ah!), I ought to think more about when to capture and when to just enjoy what is happening in front of me. My own AI (active intelligence)!!!