How womanly should we be!!!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

So the annual ritual of paying respect to women is over. March 8 is gone. But it should not be!!!

Well, I for one am not too much of a lover of these celebrated days. I think they eulogize what’s wrong or as in case of women’s day, remind us that we need to actually consider women as equals, pay them respect and so on…

I think they take away the sheen. Why?? Here’s why…

I and you and everyone else was born from a woman. That should be enough to hold women in higher esteem. I mean, who amongst men are ready to bear a child in their body for 9 months? Leave aside the after-birth shenanigans that all mothers must go through.

We all grow up and we always seek shelter with a woman. We love our sisters and protect them at all costs, we adore our female friends and secretly wish they would be with us. We look at couples and get jealous if the guy looks lousy. We would do anything to please the woman of our dreams and get her to be on our side. 

Yet, we also secretly harbour ill within us, within our society. We grow up and suddenly we want to show our power. And I am talking about all men, including yours truly.

We think somehow we are superior to a girl or a lady – mentally, physically etc. And it is manifested in the way we treat females – as objects of desire who are walking talking show-pieces. We look at them askance if they do some wrong, as if they must be perfect.

We want them to be pretty and fair and slim and tall, while ourselves being average, not so fair, fat and stout. We want to mate almost all of them and yet call them names even if we just see them walking or talking to a single guy!

And that’s the reason we have all sorts of crimes against women. And across the globe, not just in India. That’s why there is gender discrimination everywhere and that’s why our collective consciousness towards crimes against women is so low… And that’s why things don’t improve.

I mean, let’s grow up. We are not in some Before Christ era, where we are slaves to the traditional patriarchal society that we must look down upon the female sex.

Long gone are the days when women were meant to be at home and rear children and satisfy their man’s needs. Today, they are equal in all respects and in fact, in my reckoning, higher in some of them. They are beating men square in most fields.

And doing that while continuing to fulfill all those responsibilities that the society asks of them. A man cannot even think of doing a few of these things simultaneously!

My respect for women has gone up several notches in the past few years and still it sometimes leaves me dazed that my wife or mother or sisters accept me as I am and respect me without looking down upon my weaknesses.

It’s time I accept them as they are and respect them.

And its time we all did the same to all the women in our lives and all those whom we come across. Will make the world a better place to live in!!!

The Child in Us! The secret to business success…

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All of us were children once! Some of us still are.

I just told you one of the secrets of being successful in business and entrepreneurship!

What is it about being child-like that prompts success when starting and running a business. I have been thinking about this topic for sometime and decided to pen down my thoughts today. 

We start our lives as a care-free, ignorant child. Lost in our own world. Oblivious to what’s happening around us or in the world. Blissfully unaware of our surroundings. The only thing that matters to us during those days is NOTHING!!! 

And then we start growing up. We slowly learn things and become aware about what’s happening around us. We start recognising people and pick up their habits and mannerisms. Ignorance is lost and that’s the first blow! 

We grow up more and enter the education world keen to make friends and play. We learn a lot in the process and become aware of what’s happening in the world. As a result, we start forming opinions and deciding our boundaries and limitations. Blow no. 2! 

We enter teenage and are often rebellious. We want to do things the other way. But then, that’s not how you do things honey! And we are stopped in our tracks to try out new things. ‘You can’t do that’, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, ‘I hope you get back to doing something better’, and the quintessential ‘What will people say’ are statements that we hear. And we lose our enthusiasm for trying out. No. 3! 

And then we finally enter the work sphere in our lives. And all our remaining hopes get quashed. We have to function as per the defined processes. We have to stay within our limits and not try new things. We must follow orders and stick to the protocol. Gone is our last remaining ounce of child-like thoughts by this latest blow.

That perhaps explains why a lot of people desire to do something of their own but can’t muster enough courage to try it out. The fear of failure and rebuttal dissuaded them. Something which was absent when they were a child!

Successful entrepreneurs on the other hand keep that inner child alive and kicking and come out triumphant on the other side of life to start a business. They nurture their inner child and grow in between the Nay-sayers and doubting Thomases. They don’t care if they fail or succeed, it just matters that they do what their heart and mind wishes for. And they know, even if they fail, it will be great learning and they will live on to fight another day.

The world looks at them in awe! But it was just the inner child that they kept on nurturing and enthusing all this while to succeed and live the life of freedom and dreams…

The many groups I belong to! And what social media made me realise…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I have been a frequent mover all my life!

It started with my father’s transfers which was pretty much every 3 years. So I changed schools 6 times during my elementary education. Then I joined the Army and traveled to 2 more places. Then 2 more for my MBA. My job took me to 2 different places. And I am at a new place as I write this!

It was really cumbersome during childhood to make friends in new places. I did not have a dedicated friend circle with whom I grew up. And it kind of riled me sometimes.

But it gave me a distinct advantage – I have many groups I belong to. And as I have grown up, I realised this subconsciously – the more the number of groups I belonged to, the more I grew in life. But the realisation hit home recently when I inadvertently became a part of a high school group on WhatsApp.

As it happened, during our high school days we were a small gang of boys and have stayed in touch through all our life. Some great friends there! But we had no girls in our group! Quite surprising, when I come to think of it now! Don’t ask me why, I’m yet to figure out! 🙂

Anyways, we all got onto this new group with a bunch of girls (now ladies) whom we had studied with. We had been connected on FaceBook and other mediums but never interacted much.

It all changed the last couple of weeks. In fact, talking about this group here seems funny because just a couple of weeks ago half the people in there were almost strangers to me!

The girls have gone on to play some awesome roles – enterprising housewives, doctor, consultant and above all as a mother. And the guys are all pretty settled in their respective family lives. But in the past couple of weeks, we have discovered a funny side to ourselves…

We laugh and banter with each other on silly things, as if high school days are back. We take digs at each other knowing fully well no one will be offended. We share our family’s moments within the group and have formed a mutual admiration society in between ourselves talking about myriad things. It has given us new friends to share our joys and sorrows with. In fact, we wonder why we did not interact even a 100th of what we have done over the last 2 weeks!

It was perhaps meant to be now! While we were all busy in the humdrum of our lives, we were missing the fun and joy and smiles that only childhood friends can bring on. And for all we are worth, we are all much more happier these days, enjoying and reliving those memories of our childhood and becoming kids again…

And its the same across all groups – be it family or friends! Social media has bought us all closer on an informal level that nothing could. It has given us the freedom to express and associate with and learn from each other.

The positive impact these interactions have, far outweigh the time spent on social media. I feel we all owe it to the social media revolution engulfing our lives, where we all are connected and share our happy and sad times with others. Otherwise, in our cocooned existence in today’s world, its easy to become lonely and get lost!

I am sure there are more surprises in store in the future as social media evolves! As Martin Buber said “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”, so I move along, ready to experience new things and enjoy the old times with my numerous groups!!!

Aren’t we overdoing hypocrisy?

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During the last few days, the following points have flashed across my mind –

Hyperbole against the recent roast video with some Indian celebs (yes, I am referring to the infamous AIB channel)! Reactions against Valentine’s day, a repeat telecast more or less every year (with new twists)! Faces of people watching a movie where a love scene is being played out (and countless other intimate scenes)! Inter-caste marriages and the rigidity against them…

All of these only pointed me towards one single thought – aren’t we overdoing hypocrisy?

As I tried to address these thoughts and reason them out in favour and opposition both, it appeared to me that hypocrisy has become our second nature!

What is wrong with some celebs being roasted and profane language being used in front of a private audience and only available on a YouTube video channel, when all are matured adults. We are all used to hearing all kinds of those words in every-day parlance. I have heard even women mouth some! And most children in all kinds of societies start swearing pretty early these days. But put it on a video and it becomes taboo? Sounds convoluted.

Or the actions and reactions on Valentine’s day! Seriously, what’s wrong with people celebrating love? Well, for one, I don’t really subscribe to the Valentine’s Day theory – for me expressing love is a personal matter that I indulge in on a regular basis. But why hold it against those who do – they are living in a free world! Moral policing only makes it look regressive, which is the least we should expect our society to head towards.

Even with intimate or love-making scenes, we almost all times overdo our reactions. Either the channel is changed on TV or people start looking at their mobiles or newspapers or turn to talk to each other in the cinema hall. Seriously, did we become a 1.3 billion nation without intimacy? We need to grow up and accept it as a regular and normal part of our lives and behave maturely. And a passionate kiss on screen won’t be a big deal anymore…

Lastly, my favourite – inter-caste marriages! I am happily married to the lady of my choice and it matters the least to me or to my family which caste she belongs to, as long as she understands me (she does, better than myself)! If 2 people are in love with each other and want to marry, what’s wrong with that is something I have never gotten over with. In fact, parents and families should be double happy that their son\daughter are going to be loved all through life and aren’t entering a contract with invisible compromises or money exchange!

Even in other walks of life and in too many of our decisions, we exhibit this same hypocrisy in doing things while hiding from others but berating them when out in public. Isn’t it time that we accept being a responsible citizen of the free world and let everyone live their lives as to their liking? We shouldn’t even be bothering ourselves with what others are doing or saying or thinking.

In fact, that’s a mantra to live by and make life easy. This year, I am personally focusing on cutting out the clutter around me to simplify my life. This involves removing hypocritical reactions to what people around me do and not tying my brain’s processing down (and reduce my productivity). And it’s been yielding fabulous results – I concentrate more and am thinking more positive thoughts!

Hoping more people think less about others and focus on their lives. And become less hypocrite and accept the obvious in front of others. And then we all can do so much better and be happier…

What I Learned from my shattered dream… And how it helped me reshape my life!

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I always wanted to fly fighter jets.

As a young kid of 6 years of age, someone first asked me what I wanted to become! Really. As if I had some idea at that tender age!

I promptly looked at the sky and without any hesitance said “I want to be a pilot”. And as far as I can remember, I was looked at with awe…

As I grew up, that childhood desire became stronger. It became my only dream, to fly MIGs and Sukhois. Others in my class and friend circle continued to treat me as an aberration. Someone who knew what he wanted and also because I didn’t want to do engineering!
When I finally got selected, I realized I couldn’t join the Air Force. It was discovered that I have partial colour blindness and therefore could only join the Army. Second best option was the only option for me and I took it…

The first year at the Indian Military Academy was filled with ups and downs but I came out triumphing on the other side, 7th in my course. This got me my choice of arms in EME and I was all set to rock. Except, that’s not how the script was written!

I suffered a freak accident. It led me to stay close to 6 months in the hospital, facing ridicule from other course mates, and filled me with self-doubts.

Eventually, after getting out on medical grounds, I got my life back on track. Since then, my unorthodox thinking has taken me to many places and experiences. But things that I learnt from my shattered dream have perhaps been the biggest shapers of my life!

Here’s a quick enumeration of these life-shaping attributes that got ingrained in me during those couple of years.

Discipline. Easily the most identifiable thing about the Armed forces. And about me as well. I am credited for it and derided at the same time. But it has stood me in good stead and helped me excel time and again.

Persistence. Armed forces taught me how to doggedly pursue what I want despite trying circumstances. It has served me well throughout, helping me pursue my life’s ambitions and goals come what may.

Integrity and Honesty. A must have in the Armed Forces and something that is ingrained in me for life. Helped me to be successful and forthright in my work all throughout, something I believe I can vouch for in all my dealings to date.

Big picture vision. Doing all those field exercises while in the academy and plotting strategies has remained with me all along. Big picture is what I focus on and figure out all possibilities. As I transitioned into the corporate world and then into business, it’s proving to be a great asset.

Self confidence. To do anything I lay my hands on. Armed forces led me to situations that invariably tested it and helped me become supremely confident. And its an invaluable ally in my life now.

The list could go on. But it would become boring!

What I want to highlight here is that all those positives that I mentioned were there for me to take out. I could very easily have gone bonkers and wasted my life after my dream got shattered. But I chose to go on. I chose to fight my circumstances and triumph over them. I chose to pave my own path towards success. And I took these Positives and rebuilt my life around them.

And if I can do it, so can anyone. Our biggest failures are our biggest treasure troves also. It’s upto us to chose if we become wealthier by recognizing them!

Reverse drain in vogue!

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Along with conversations about business, another thing in fashion right now is scores of people from abroad returning to India. What’s fuelling these patterns? While on my way to recruit people for my new venture, I thought through these points. You see, wife away for a few days to in-laws’ does help business and thinking both 🙂 So, I looked at some of the history of modern India. Even under the British rule, most affluent Indians preferred traveling abroad for education and eventually ended up working there in most cases. So, Indians have been on the receiving end of brain drain for a century almost! However, after independence, and specially during the license-raj years, this phenomenon accelerated. People felt so shackled by the system and lack of opportunities that they preferred to fly abroad. Grass was indeed greener on the other side, dollars glimmering across the Pacific… Some people did come back post the reforms in early 90’s but they were far and few in between the many who flew in the flooding river of IT upsurge. Many of those who went are now firmly entrenched in the societies everywhere. And they made Indian curry and Indian software professionals ubiquitous in most places abroad! This trend seems to be reversing in the past year or so it seems. If we are to believe news stories, hundreds are wounding up ashore in search of moksha in the hyper growth opportunities that India now presents to the world. And its getting better day by day with the new dispensation promising truckloads of reforms… I guess that this combination of unparalleled opportunities present in the huge nascent market of India and the sea-change in expectations with the new government in the center is what is our best bet if we are to grow to levels we aspire to. India’s potential as a consumer market was never in doubt with its huge population. With new technologies and penetration of mobile phones, it’s become a reality. Companies and entrepreneurs are taking advantage of this to reach out and create new value for consumers across industries. Aiding this upswing is the new government, which is promising reforms and simpler laws to do business. The prime minister’s topmost stated agenda is improving India’s ranking in the ease-of-doing-business index. And the improving mood has bought back those NRI’s from everywhere to invest and do business in India… What remains to be seen is how this upswing is sustained and promises are fulfilled. India is at the cusp of changing forever if things go well. But if they don’t, I believe we might witness never before seen brain drain. Because this perhaps is our last chance of reclaiming long lost glory and become the golden bird again. Here’s to the eternal hope of seeing a better and more prosperous future for our country!

The people angle in business

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Business is in fashion across drawing rooms these days!

Reading news of companies and platforms raising millions and billions of dollars has sure got the average Indian interested. There are regular discussion happening over these topics across age groups and everyone wants to know how do these hotshots get built…

Over the past few months, I am in the process of building up my new business. During this time, I have often thought about what makes a business venture successful and how do entrepreneurs succeed. And specially how to build once such company!

I must confess when I started out, I thought it was all about hard work and some luck. But as my journey has progressed, I have realized it’s all about how to manage people…

People management is the mantra to run a business successfully. If I can manage people and build a great team that shares my passion and belief, the business will scale and do well. The execution of the idea shall be as planned and success will be a formality.

Even in jobs, if someone is a good people manager, he or she will automatically do well and excel in the chosen field. Most successful managers I have read about seem to have this trait in common…

In fact, I was reading an article about how Richard Branson, one of the greatest entrepreneur of our time, has scaled up his empire. He mentioned one very simple thing – “I hire good people, leave them to run the business and trust them to do their best. It frees up my mind and gives me time to think about the future.”

A great example of great people management leading to greatness for the founder and group companies!

However, most people neglect this aspect when they are figuring out things in their professional life. They treat others with contempt or neglect the human angle and in turn this gets ingrained in their behavior, leading to future fallibility.

If we also become as steadfast about the all important human aspect as Richard Branson, more companies and empires as vast and efficient as Virgin can be built!

Are we always tinted?

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While at my home today, I was contemplating various behavioral patterns and observing how people react and respond…

Most times, we are influenced by certain people, situations, ideologies, thought process et al. And a lot of times, what we do or how we behave or react or respond have a direct correlation! This is what I could arrive at.

For example, if I am thinking positively and someone asks me a question, I would be more likely to respond with a positive answer. If I am feeling irritated, something not going my way will only generate more irritation. If I dislike a certain person, his good things will also appear fake or overdone. And so on…

What I am trying to say here is, most of the times our behavior, responses, reactions aren’t from a neutral point of view. It’s always coloured or tinted by some angle or perspective.

Then how fair is it for us to advice someone or point a finger at others! Food for thought!!!

Infact, not advising or giving opinions or pointing fingers has the potential of freeing our minds for better things and might leave us with time and energy to do more. I am going to try this and perhaps will be able to prove my point…

Putting it Mildly…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Over the past few days, I have been observing and reading a lot on topics ranging from politics to business to sports.

Companies and businesses are meeting and evaluating what went right and how to improve on their mistakes. Congress party had a full blown session to assess their recent electoral defeats. Sports pages are full of speculation of what went right and wrong with teams and sportsmen. And so on…

Sadly, most of these, at least in the public domain, are just putting it mildly! They aren’t going to the full depth of the issue and are papering over the real concerns. As if glossing over the ineptitude and burying the ghosts of past can make it easy to carry on with the future!

I feel an introspection or analysis is to the point and of benefit when it goes deep down and finds out the real truth, however bitter it might be, and associated steps are taken to correct the wrong. Unless one’s mistakes are rectified or at least understood, we cannot benefit from the hindsight to make our future better. Yet, a lot of people shy away from this very truth.

Why is what I wonder? Is it a fear of facing a backlash for failing, making compromises, partiality to favour vested interests, or just plain hiding from the truth! Perhaps it isn’t everyone’s forte to judge oneself!

But I guess the single biggest reason is the negativity associated with failing. The society doesn’t take too kindly to people or organizations who fail. They are ridiculed and made fun of, or written off for their lifetime, or simply ignored as have-beens. And that’s why we shy away from accepting or analyzing failures and learning from them…

Maybe if we all learn to take mistakes in our stride and grow from our failures and associated learning, we can have a better future and the world can become a better place!

Here’s to failing more to learn more!

Terrorism – Can the tide turn?

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As the world stands shocked by what’s happening in Paris at Charlie Hebdo’s offices and subsequent news updates and reactions and responses, I was stuck by this very starking response, which appeared in the Online and Print media! Kudos to the original creator and please pardon me if I have violated any copyrights, just couldn’t help sharing it!!!

v2-Banksie-main

As I grasped the full import of what this picture said, I was stuck by a rather bemusing thought. Isn’t terrorism almost like entrepreneurism?

The dictionary defines an Entrepreneur (word origin French: ‘entreprendre’ or to ‘undertake’) as a person who sets up a business taking a risk, in hope of profits. We could argue Terrorism is the same. It is a setup which takes a huge risk (of the terrorists lives) for a windfall profit – acceptance of the group’s ideology, and so on. Quite so…

Going deeper in my thoughts, I realised some of the essential traits for an entrepreneur are – a guy next door who has an idea (product\service), is willing to bet on it, takes a risk putting it out in the market, obtains financing from various sources for it, forgoes financial and material gains in the short term while focused on the long term, builds a team and a company that has to be constantly motivated to achieve the seemingly impossible, puts self in the line of fire at all times, fights all fears and uncertainties and emerges victorious at the other end, achieving a disproportionate success for self and society.

Compare it with terrorists – normal people who subscribe to an ideology (ok, it might be skewed by their view of things), who bet their very lives on it, take all risks during operations, get financed from secret sources, focus on the long term fulfilment of their ideals, operate with a team in a state of constant motivation to achieve their purpose(!), are literally in the line of fire, fight all fears to install fear, and emerge dead\captured\sheltered (the last one’s the favourite) to be called a martyr or hero in their circles!

So it shouldn’t be a surprise then – just like entrepreneurism is becoming a preferred choice for majority of today’s enterprising youth, so is terrorism fast becoming a successful way of leading life for some of the other enterprising ones. It has become a mainstream industry today for hundreds and thousands of youth who aren’t hesitating to be a part of it! Not to mention the headline grabbing notoriety and the free publicity that they and their causes get in the media, drawing people into debates of right and wrong, and pushing their viewpoints to influence more and more normal people.

The only difference is while entrepreneurs seek to create something which can endure, terrorists seek to destroy that which endures! And herein lies the key difference, which gives me hope. For those who seek to destroy are almost always destroyed from within! Time and history have been witnesses…

We may be seeing an unprecedented rise in terrorism in our times but I believe it will all come down just as swiftly it has risen and subsume itself in the flurry of time. The factors aiding its rise – lack of opportunities, resources, education, intolerance of others etc. are sooner or later going to go away. And in their place will rise an abundance of opportunities, resources, learning and a belief that we can all peacefully subsist on this planet! It all depends on we, the people within this society, to make it all happen.

And then perhaps those youth who turn towards the extremism of terror will instead utilise all their “enterprising” traits to start creating things that endure, which will not only change their lives but will be so much better for the society that they and their families and children want to live in – a society which respects their faith and ideals and let them be, in lieu of they respecting the society and letting it be… Imagine what a wonderful world full of possibilities it will be then.

Amen!