Age

Aging…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes, even some casual conversation triggers thoughts that are deep and personal.

This week, as I was returning from an official trip, a chat with a co-passenger did so for me.

We were talking about her trip which was a precursor to returning back to India, after having spent a couple of decades in the US.

I was intrigued by why would they choose to do so! And what was the real reason behind it.

As I probed further and the lady opened up, it turned out to be quite profound. She and her husband were retiring and having seen their parents go through the same curve, they felt they needed to be among people whom they know. And be comfortable in life as they age.

It is a personal choice. Someone else in the same situation may choose to stay where they have built their lives.

But as I thought about it, I realised one thing. Most of us don’t plan actively about how we want to spend our lives as we age. We let it happen organically.

What we do plan is how to organise our finances and how will we take care of material aspects later in life.

Which is fine, as often that’s the easiest thing to do. And what worries most people.

But what about all the other things in life that will be different? Most of them difficult.

We will not be able to do the same things we were able to do even five years back, at any given point in time…

We will not be able to have the luxury of doing things we want to do beyond a few years from now…

We will not be in a position to do much after all! No one can predict how old age pans out.

And yet, we don’t plan for them. We don’t prepare ourselves mentally for that shift. We don’t think about growing old together and how it will pan out.

These things may not be easy to think about or plan for, but it might just be enough to have some guiding principles and ideas.

Often, an unconscious understanding is all that’s needed to tackle the most difficult phases in life…

What’s with the Age?

~ Rishi ~ 3 Comments

We have progressively started living longer lives. But what does it mean to age?

The past week, there were two instances which forced me to think in this direction.

The first one was when my daughter asked a great question, something kids are privileged with. It went something like “why do you need to work on a laptop”?

The second one emerged from a casual conversation with a colleague about how the world has changed for us over the last 25 odd years. And that means most things we do today are done in a different way than when we were born.

As I thought about it, I started looking at my life and how it’s progressed and then to make things more interesting, looked at it from my parents lives.

Imagine someone born in the 50’s in India. Didn’t have radio as a widely used medium, mostly consuming information through newspapers. As she grows up, most interaction is limited to immediate family or neighbourhood.

Then, once she reaches college, she starts to listen to radio and watching more cinema in the theatres. She gets an occasional new thing in her life like a watch or maybe takes a trip to different places to learn.

Years later, well in her 20’s she discovers television, refrigerators, and some bit of computers if she is lucky. But the usage is limited to occasional.

It’s only in her late 30’s that she learns about the Internet. She gets to know how to operate a microwave oven and a washing machine. And a car really becomes a regular vehicle of choice.

With the turn of the century, in her 40’s, life changes as the mobile phone becomes ubiquitous. Internet becomes comprehensible and working on computers becomes the main thing for most office goers. International vacations become widely affordable.

But it’s not until probably in her 50’s that this lady discovers a smartphone. Facebook and video calls. YouTube and WhatsApp. Connected cars and live streaming enter the lexicon in her 60’s.

This lady who is inching towards her 70’s now, has come a long way. And she has had to adapt every step of the way to new things that she couldn’t even imagine as a child. Learning and unlearning, adjusting and accommodating.

For us born in the 80’s or 90’s, most things today seem like a natural progression. But if we think through this lady’s perspective, we realise most of these are way too much to handle.

Yet, our parents handle them on a daily basis. Enjoying the process of getting to know new stuff. Sometimes befuddled, sometimes bemused, but mostly a sport.

And that’s the essence of aging beautifully in today’s material world. Adapting, learning, letting go of things but still holding on to the older self, exploring new things with a keen mindset, and being ready for new experiences.

Perhaps with a new set of questions that we need to ask our kids and grandkids as we make sense of the changes about to come…