Care

I will be there for you.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a very busy day. Preet had multiple meetings lined up with important clients.

He had been preparing for a couple of weeks for these, as they were tied to new business that could secure his promotion.

So, naturally he was in the zone and working through the finer details in the last minutes. And no interruption was acceptable.

He had put his phone on silent and hidden from view. So, when it rang a couple of times, he didn’t see it.

But then, just before the meeting he saw it was his wife calling him and he picked up. His young son was running a high fever and she had called him to inform that she was rushing to the hospital.

He talked to her quickly for two minutes, noticing the feebleness in her voice but whisking it away as exhaustion from the effort to take care of their son.

Over the next couple of hours, caught up in meetings, no thoughts crossed his mind about the situation at home. Only after he had taken a break for lunch, did he remember and call back.

His son was now in the hospital, under observation. His fever had not come down yet. Doctors had diagnosed it as brain fever. His wife was holding the fort but he could now sense that she needed help.

At first Preet thought he will postpone his meetings and rush to the hospital. But then, the thought of the impending promotion crossed his mind. And the meetings continued.

By the time everything ended and he got to the hospital, his son’s situation was deteriorating. He quickly realised that the doctors had not been able to get the situation under control and after discussing with them, he was shifted to the ICU.

For the next three days, Preet and his wife spent all their time at the hospital. Tensed and anxious. The fever had subsided but their son was still not out of danger.

Thankfully, their prayers were answered and over the next two weeks, their son recovered. He had got a new lease of life!

During this time, as Preet thought about the first day, he wished he could have acted differently.

He had promised his family that he would take care of them always, but when it actually came to it, he was missing in action…

The guilt led him to cry silently at first. And then in front of his wife when their son was wheeled out of the ICU.

It was not that the turn of events with his son could have been different if he was there. It was just his presence that was needed…

The promise meant something. It had to be lived!

Pain Tolerance

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

How much pain can we tolerate? Literally. In both our mind and our body.

Having suffered a serious injury that led to leaving the armed forces, and having gone through other health issues, this is not just a figurative question. It is a personal one.

Every time something happens to me, my pain tolerance behaviour kicks in. At times I take things in stride and go on without worrying. But at times, it makes me avoid anything that could cause more discomfort.

It is interesting because my mind behaves randomly on the same topic. Strange too.

This Friday, as I took a flight back home and landed with not just a jet lag but a muscle spasm around my shoulder, my mind started to work. It told me to take things easy. So, I have been. Applying ointments and eating painkillers while avoiding any strenuous activity.

What if I had something urgent to attend to at home? I am sure, my mind would have told me to forget about all the pain and instead focus on the urgent matter. I may have still needed the ointments and painkillers but those would have been taken to continue.

Reflecting on this behaviour, I was wondering why is it so? Is it normal? Is it something only I go through? Or am I being unnecessarily paranoid over something not worth its while?

My reflections led me to my earlier experiences when I had either taken heed of my mind and succumbed to the inactivity or when I had pushed the discomfort aside to focus on other important things.

What I realised is that it is all dependent on the motive. Do I have something on my hands which I am so engaged in that nothing else matters? Am I so charged up that a niggle doesn’t bother me?

If I don’t have a strong reason, my mind tends to take things easy; almost as if it is telling me not to bother because there’s nothing more important than myself. Well, that isn’t completely untrue! But it also cannot be true every time because then I wouldn’t be able to grow.

Perhaps the balance is in allowing the mind to let the body slack a bit when needed. After all, the mind and the body know better than us. Interspersed with elongated periods of acute focus and activity when nothing else matters. Something that has worked for me in the recent past.

Again, not generally applicable, but maybe it is a good practice to check on where we are in life when such a signal comes. What do we do in those moments could very well define how much fuel power we have to persevere and continue running.

Because while life is short, it is long enough to play in the balance…

The Support System…

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

All of us need one!

And all of us have one. Our Mother…

She takes the pain to bring us to life. Nurtures us in the initial years, harbours us in the early years, and hoists us in the later years.

She is the one who shapes us to what we become in life. Through her love and care. Through the values she instills in us. And through the constant nudging that we often find irritating but comforting.

As we grow up, she supports us through life. Helps us when we are going through the lows and picks us up and makes us feel special in those highs.

She gives us confidence to do things we probably won’t try on our own. Helps us try and challenge ourselves. Yet never pushes us in a direction we don’t want to go in.

She accepts our failures more readily than we sometimes do. And she exalts in our success like even we cannot.

She helps us set up our house, knowing that we may probably never go back to living with her again. She agrees with our choice of the life partner. And she does all of it selflessly, for she knows what we need.

She teaches us to be a good husband or wife. And how to be a better parent than she was.

Yes, she is very emotional and her sentiments drive her actions. But that’s important because none of us can function with just the mind and not the heart!

And that is what makes her special. And the best. For each one of us.

Happy Mother’s Day!!!