Growth

On Friends and Fights…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Friends are our lifeline. They are the ones who keep us afloat in good times and bad…

This past week, we had a couple of occasions when the little one had a mini fight with one of her friends. The ones you feel important about when you are young but feel amused by when you think back as a grown up. Reminded me of my own days with friends and how I grew up.

The good thing is, while growing up you become friends without thinking about intentions and benefits. Without worrying about the past, present, or future of the person. And remain so for as long as you are alive and kicking.

Thanks to my dad’s transferable job as a banker, I got the opportunity to travel to a few places and make new friends every 2-3 years through my childhood. Each place and friend group taught me new things and helped me make memories for life.

I had quite a few of those cherished friendships, with boys and girls. From my school days as well as during college. Friends, some of whom became very close and continue to be. And I spent tons of time with them.

But it wasn’t all rosy. I had my share of fights, big and small, across the spectrum. A lot of times they were silly, some times futile, and only a few times necessary. But at that point in time they all felt important.

I remember fighting umpteen times with friends while playing. Incidents I laugh with them about now. Some of the others were serious but quickly resolved. Only a couple of them were of the kinds that did permanent damage on both sides. And were really important.

Yet when I look back, those incidents helped me shape up. I became more accommodating and understanding of the other view point(s), of learning to accept differences and agreeing to disagree. And of knowing when to stay and when to walk away.

So I tell my little one. She is too young to understand these things and hopefully will have her own positive learning curve from these fights with friends.

And will probably grow up looking back bemusedly at these young days…

Parenting and I

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It’s been 4 years, 6 months, and 17 days. Since my daughter was born…

Her birth was one of the best moments I have witnessed in my life. Something within me instantly changed, as I graduated to being a father. Ever since, it’s been a whirlwind with her growing up.

On some days, she blows me away with her shenanigans and her take on life. With how she perceives and receives. With how much she understands and follows.

On others, she acts up and throws a tantrum or two, refuses to budge and wants her way at any cost. And whatever I may try, there’s no way out of the crying and making faces.

With hectic work schedules, I have had to stretch at times to catch up with her demands. And at times, when I wasn’t able to do my absolute best, I have felt the guilt that most working parents have – of not spending enough time with her.

At times I have felt that she should get whatever she wants and I am there to make it happen. Then there are times when I feel that if I don’t discipline and teach her, she will never learn what to value and what not to.

To be lenient or to be strict, and when. How to cope up with her fast growth and learning and still be able to teach her a few new things. And how to pass on the right values and behaviour to her. This duopoly, this constant tussle of how to be a good parent, is what I live with.

Perhaps, it’s a maze that will define how I grow up as well. As I have been transitioning through different phases as a parent, I have rediscovered life at times. Things which I had forgotten or had got buried somewhere deep down. Perspectives which I hadn’t seen earlier.

To be back home and have someone small waiting for you eagerly – to be pampered and loved, to play and have fun, and to live life without any inhibitions or restrictions; is a joy to behold and learning for life! Hoping for many more lessons and lots of fun along the way…

New year resolution

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

A new year begins. Or as some people are enthusiastically calling it, a new decade.

Over the years, all of us have grown accustomed to celebrating the new year eve and vouching for new year resolutions ranging from getting fitter to taking less stress to following our passion. Some people plot their dreams and goals and stick them everywhere to create a positive reinforcement cycle.

It’s another matter that most of us forget about these resolutions and go back to the old rhythm. The dreams and goals are forgotten in the cold gush of the reality wind.

So when my wife asked me “what are your goals for the coming year”, it caught me unawares as I hadn’t thought about the subject at all. Somewhat ashamed, it got me thinking of two things – do I want to set some goals, if yes what’s my plan to make them happen. And if no, why?

You see, we like to conform to the society’s notion that we are constantly improving ourselves in all spheres – personal, professional, financial, spiritual etc. But it may not be as important for me as a person to focus on improvement in one of these aspects than let’s say another person X. So what kind of a goal do I want and do I really want to achieve it? I kept thinking for the last few days.

Then, on a longish flight on Sunday, devoid of other pursuits, I decided to apply my mind to this matter.

Now, in my opinion, if I am not obsessing over a goal, it’s pursuit is not going to last long. And I might as well save that time to focus on better things. Combined with the belief that if I keep at something sincerely, I will do well in it eventually, it dawned on me that I didn’t want to have any improvement goal this year, if at all.

After some thought, I have chosen to do something which is going to expand my horizons, literally. I am just going to follow something that got lost for sometime.

Long forgotten within me has been a writer lurking inside, someone who had taken a backseat in the hustle of life over the last 3 years or so.

So, this new year I am attempting to write again. Beginning with this post. Adding a new one every week and perhaps a few stories that I want to tell. Let’s see. Right now, it’s just an attempt to get back to an ex-flame. Hope to endeavour and make it burn brighter as the year progresses.

Reverse drain in vogue!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Along with conversations about business, another thing in fashion right now is scores of people from abroad returning to India. What’s fuelling these patterns? While on my way to recruit people for my new venture, I thought through these points. You see, wife away for a few days to in-laws’ does help business and thinking both 🙂 So, I looked at some of the history of modern India. Even under the British rule, most affluent Indians preferred traveling abroad for education and eventually ended up working there in most cases. So, Indians have been on the receiving end of brain drain for a century almost! However, after independence, and specially during the license-raj years, this phenomenon accelerated. People felt so shackled by the system and lack of opportunities that they preferred to fly abroad. Grass was indeed greener on the other side, dollars glimmering across the Pacific… Some people did come back post the reforms in early 90’s but they were far and few in between the many who flew in the flooding river of IT upsurge. Many of those who went are now firmly entrenched in the societies everywhere. And they made Indian curry and Indian software professionals ubiquitous in most places abroad! This trend seems to be reversing in the past year or so it seems. If we are to believe news stories, hundreds are wounding up ashore in search of moksha in the hyper growth opportunities that India now presents to the world. And its getting better day by day with the new dispensation promising truckloads of reforms… I guess that this combination of unparalleled opportunities present in the huge nascent market of India and the sea-change in expectations with the new government in the center is what is our best bet if we are to grow to levels we aspire to. India’s potential as a consumer market was never in doubt with its huge population. With new technologies and penetration of mobile phones, it’s become a reality. Companies and entrepreneurs are taking advantage of this to reach out and create new value for consumers across industries. Aiding this upswing is the new government, which is promising reforms and simpler laws to do business. The prime minister’s topmost stated agenda is improving India’s ranking in the ease-of-doing-business index. And the improving mood has bought back those NRI’s from everywhere to invest and do business in India… What remains to be seen is how this upswing is sustained and promises are fulfilled. India is at the cusp of changing forever if things go well. But if they don’t, I believe we might witness never before seen brain drain. Because this perhaps is our last chance of reclaiming long lost glory and become the golden bird again. Here’s to the eternal hope of seeing a better and more prosperous future for our country!