Life

Music and Life

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I have had affinity for music right from my early years.

As I grew up, there was always some deal of music around. My uncle used to be part of a local band and practised quite often at home. One of my cousins was an excellent singer and later on, made quite a name for herself in Kenya. There was also my Mom’s uncle, who revelled in singing and whenever we went to my maternal grandparents house, used to regale us with his voice.

And then there was of course the music blaring through tape recorders, radio sets, and Walkmans.

Oh yes, that was the era of the Walkmans. Those ubiquitous cassette holding music players, which all the cool kids and music aficionados used to carry.

I remember, I got a Walkman of my own when I was in high school. And I was in love with it, playing those recorded cassettes bought from the local music library guy. The day it malfunctioned and stopped working was a sad day.

But I got another one soon enough, by literally pestering my father. He never denied us the good things in life when we were growing up, never does so even now when we have all grown up!! 🙂

So, the brand new top-of-the-line Walkman with excellent headphones became my new companion. In the ensuing days, as I travelled quite a bit by train to different places, the Walkman made those journeys a breeze.

As the years passed, the Walkman faded away and was replaced by the iPod. And that was even more fun. As Jobs claimed, a thousand songs in my pocket literally meant a never ending stream of the choicest music I wanted to hear. It was an immersive experience.

I remember an occasion when I was singing aloud so long with the song playing on the Walkman, that other co-passengers started looking at me strangely and I realised it only after a couple of minutes. Or the one when I was standing at the door in the night (I could never sleep in trains at night) and singing along, when the ticket inspector mistook me for a person who frequently used to travel without ticket and it took me some convincing to get back to my seat.

Over the years, as life has become faster and faster, and the phone has taken over and became the all-in-one device, I have realised that the enjoyment that I derived from listening to music has diminished. Perhaps it’s because of the multiple things that I do on the phone all the time that take my attention away. Or it’s probably just that my mind is so occupied now.

Every once in a while though, there are those moments, when I just switch on the music and let my mind wander with the tune and let time fly by without a worry on my mind. And in those moments, I recollect the nights spent listening to music and how it transported me to my dreams and gave me wings.

A powerful ally and a wonderful friend. Hope I get to spend more time with you in years to come…

Trust matters!

~ Rishi ~ 4 Comments

While playing with my daughter at home last weekend, when attempting to swing her in my arms, her anxious face and nervous laughter told me one thing – she somehow wasn’t 100% sure if she wouldn’t get hurt…

Although it was a small moment, I stopped and talked to her; mentioned that she can trust me for everything; and made a note to myself to re-assure her the next time I do something similar.

As this week passed on and I spent some more time with my daughter, I consciously tried to ensure that the trust which was established, remained. And it definitely added to the fun that the two of us had.

Reflecting back, I think trust forms the bedrock of everything we do.

Whether it is our relationships, or our behaviour with people we know or don’t know, or for that matter our work and it’s outcome, trust is an important foundational element.

And as we go along in life, that trust increases or decreases based on our observations and perception of the reciprocation from the other side. Be it our family, friends, relatives, or colleagues.

However, having had some experiences, which have led to some white hair, I have come to appreciate that trust is not just a one sided affair. It has to be mutual. Only then does something result in success. In life or at work.

When I look back at the friendships I have had, or professional relationships with colleagues or business partners, trust made them and erosion of trust marred them. And yet, as I look back, I sometimes feel that I became too judgemental too quickly in some of the cases which didn’t end well. Or I formed a perception, which may not have been absolutely correct, which led that path down the short road.

Perhaps, we need to be more accommodative of others. Give them more time and space. And respect that things sometimes take time and the dice may not always roll the way we want it. That will probably help in avoiding wrong decisions.

And as the ‘other’ party, it is imperative that we do all one can to retain that trust and build the bond stronger. Unless it absolutely becomes impossible to carry it forward.

In this day and age when our opinions and perceptions get shaped quickly and can change by the day, remembering that it is easier to gain trust than lose it and that sometimes slowing down our snap decisions will serve us better in the long run, will take us further.

After all, matters related to trust should neither be taken lightly nor judged too quickly…

Humanity in the time of Covid (and surprises)

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was a surprise that took us all by surprise! And a relaxed weekend after many a weeks (which itself was a surprise) quickly turned into a few days filled with anxiety…

When Covid started, I am sure none of us would have imagined the changes that would happen to our lives in just a matter of few months. And as the pandemic has progressed, we have all heard of stories about how on one side people have gone out of the way to help out and on the other how skepticism and misinformation have led to social ostracism for some.

When last Sunday, my niece got detected Covid positive, it was a surprise to us. Surprise because the poor soul had shown no symptoms and had not even ventured out of the house. In fact she had only gone for testing so that she could travel back home to her parents.

Post the initial surprise, we realised urgent measures need to be taken. So while we arranged to quarantine her in a separate room, I also had to inform the society members, where we stay, about the developments.

I must say I was apprehensive. How would the news be taken by the other residents. How would they react? How would they treat the family, specially the kid? These and more thoughts crossed my mind.

However, putting them aside I called up the office-bearers and informed them out of duty. I also assured them that we are all going to get ourselves tested and are taking all precautions as necessary.

I was cautious and doubtful still. Over the next day, as the association sent out an information email without disclosing names, I expected a few not-so-good replies.

But I was pleasantly surprised by the replies. As our test results came negative, and the association disclosed the details, the kind of messages and emails I got from the other residents was overwhelming.

Almost everyone replied and asked if we were doing fine and if they could help in any way. Some even called up and offered their help. It was overwhelming because most of them we have interacted very less with.

As the days have passed by, people have voluntarily filled in for any support required. The association got all of us some icecream, the neighbours joked around on WhatsApp groups and kept the entire atmosphere light, and the other residents regularly checked in.

Although our niece is doing fine now, having tested negative, it has been quite heartening to see the support we have got from the community during this home quarantine period. It has definitely made these anxious days less taxing and dull. And helped us get to know our community better and make new friends.

Here’s to the residents of our society and to the power of humanity. And to life full of surprises!

What a night it was…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I used to love gazing at the stars when I was very young. Like a lot of other kids, it used to be a favourite activity, specially during summer nights!

During summer days in those years, my cousins used to come over for a month or so. And with no school and lot of time to while away, we used to design our own schedule.

It usually started with late mornings, continued with rounds of carrom and other board games, spilled over evenings of cricket and football, and dollops of fooling around with each other. In between all this, lots of time spent reading comic books and chit chatting.

But as the evening wound down, we would usually go up to the terrace and wash it clean to remove the dirt accumulated through the day. And then, out came the beddings and pillows and we all propped up on them for rounds of Antakshari and fun.

Dinner used to be light with summer nights reserved for ice cream and other desserts and frolic on the terrace. All of us cousins used to then create our own base on the nicely laid down beddings and chat long into the night.

I for one was the last person to sleep in the gang. Lying down under the clear night skies, chatting with my cousins, I used to keep gazing at the stars above, observing the night pass by. And long after all had fallen asleep, I would still be awake, wondering about what lies beyond those stars and figuring out constellations.

I remember quite a few instances when one of the elders woke up early at dawn and found me still gazing upwards. I am sure they would have thought of me as a little crazy fellow. But it was super fun and exciting, trying to follow different arcs and let thoughts wander into infinity.

With time, as we all grew up and summer holidays became scarce, the times on terrace also dwindled down. And as life filled us with tasks and deadlines, and pollution filled our lungs, sleeping on the terraces became a non-starter. And so the star gazing also came to a halt.

While every now and then, when we cousins meet, our chat lasts well into the night, I sometimes miss that fun of lying down under that vast expanse and talking and thinking non-stop. And allowing time to drift without a care in the world.

As the clouds came by and interrupted my star gazing tonight, initiated by a colleague posting about the brightly visible Saturn and Jupiter at the same spot, I ruminated about the times gone by and those wonderful nights.

Alas! Hope those nights could last forever…

The Endgame…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We all have a fascination for results. And a bias for the near term, the immediate future…

While in college, I got my hands on ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand – a book which deeply influenced me. In quick succession, I read almost her entire body of work. The one which I was most impressed with was ‘Atlas Shrugged’.

It’s a story about the systemic erosion and decimation of personal values and capitalistic nature of the American nation and how a bunch of key business people, after having enough of the new incapable administration, decide to shrug from their responsibilities and bring the new order down, thereby re-creating the virtuous society. Those individuals in the novel were supremely confident of their capabilities and extremely good performers.

After having read the saga 3 times, I have always viewed the directions societies take and individuals adopt in Atlas’ terms. As I align with the philosophy at an overall level, it has given me a compass to view and make sense of people. And strive to be the best version of myself.

While it is romantic to think of and believe in perfection and excellence, over the years I have realised that there is a very thin line when it comes to performance and whether one is on top of the game or just playing a part. And while we might like to be always on top, it’s just not humanly possible.

It’s better to approach things like a marathon than a 100-meter dash – play along and keep your focus all throughout – end objective will be achieved. So while we may have done well in the near-term, how do we remain consistent in the long-term? Or if we haven’t done so well, how do we improve and grow from where we are…

This is true in all aspects of our lives. Instead of creating constant pressure on ourselves to excel everywhere, I guess it’s fine if there are times when we cannot excel. If we fail. If we couldn’t be perfect that one time.

What is important though, is to strive to do our best always. To ensure that we don’t let ourselves down. To not get defeated. To rise up and run again. To strive for perfection and excellence.

And to remember that the endgame is to reach the goals we set for ourselves with a sane head on our shoulders and life in our lungs!

What if we knew the Future???

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Would we want to change anything? Or let life run it’s course rather than reigning it in?

As I sat today watching a movie with this as a central theme, life’s harshness dawned on me. And made me put the week gone by in perspective.

It was a sad week. I got news of one of my course mates in the Indian Army passing away. A young chap, just 39 years old losing life in a non-conflict zone is as unfortunate as it can get.

Robert was an affable and smiling chap and always used to take everything sportingly. With almost a zen like calm, which we sometimes used to confuse as indifference. But whatever he did, he always strived to give it his 100%.

He didn’t know his future for sure. None of us did when we joined the IMA. And yet we toiled hard during those days, soaking in all the pressure that was thrown on us, hopeful of a good life. But I can bet that even if Robert could somehow know his future, he wouldn’t have traded his life for something else. It was a good life he led.

As I reflected in these thoughts, I was thinking about how my own life panned out afterwards. The twists and turns it has taken. The highs and lows it has bestowed upon me. And the immense experiences it has provided me.

Perhaps if I knew my future, I may have peeped ahead and tried to avert my exit from the Army. It would have kept me in my dream career. But then, life wouldn’t have happened. And a multitude of things, including I meeting my wife, perhaps wouldn’t have turned out as they have!

Sometimes however, it seems cruel. Like it is the case for Robert. And when it does, we realise that we have been shortchanged. That we had so many aspirations that couldn’t be fulfilled. That we pursued the wrong pursuits. That we spent time on non-important things.

None of us know how long we have. Where we may land up. What we may succeed or fail at. How we may progress. But still, we live in eternal hope. Hope that everything will turn out well. That we will succeed in whatever we are striving for.

Perhaps that’s our guiding light from the future telling us not to worry. Things will be taken care of. That this too shall pass. And shows us the light at the end of that tunnel.

Perhaps that’s what life is…

What’s in a Name?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

My name is Bond, James Bond. This is one of the most recognisable lines in the movie industry. In this era of digital, where virtual identities have overtaken the real ones, it still signifies the attachment we have with our names!

Yesterday, as I was watching the last instalment of the Star Wars saga, one line stuck me. The protagonist is asked by a random inhabitant on a far off planet, what’s your name. And she replies with her first name. The inhabitant asks her family name, to which the protagonist doesn’t have an answer at that point in the movie.

That’s where the scene ended but left in me a trail of thoughts. And as I sat today enjoying my Sunday, I was reminded of the line – such is the impression a mere exchange of dialogues created!

All of us have names. And as our names identify us, it’s natural that we are very cognisant of who, how, and where is using our name. I have seen people getting offended by someone writing or pronouncing their name wrongly. Or being very careful on making their name public.

And yet, while our name is a matter of pride and identity for us, I have often wondered about the futility of the pursuit of making it shine nice and bright…

It’s not that I am devoid of that desire or don’t want to ever have my name shine. It’s just that having experienced different sides of life, it appears to me that most of us are in it for the wrong reasons.

Let me elaborate a bit…

I am of the belief that a person’s work should speak for oneself. That people should know instinctively about who did the work. And that’s only possible if we love the work more than we care for the results. Only if we don’t worry about what will people say. Only if we give it our very best and then be satisfied that we couldn’t have done better.

What I have seen to the contrary is that most people first think about the results, about what will people say, about the benefit they will derive from what they are doing. The work at hand becomes secondary. And while the approach may work, IMHO it’s a gross wastage of our talent.

I mean, if we look at all the genius people around the globe, they did what they did because they absolutely loved doing it. All those who are super successful, have achieved success by following their passion. And what most of us do? We chase name and fame and money without worrying too much about the work. Or treat it as a job!

That’s where I believe we as people need to change our approach to life, specially as it gets rebooted after the lockdown. To make it more meaningful. To pursue our passions. To do what we like to do. And to always give the best of ourselves to every pursuit.

That will make us happy. And satisfied. And successful.

Perhaps, some of us will still need to do our jobs apart from our passions. But if we do them well, that will be sufficient for people to remember our names long after we are gone!

And for those of us who can find our true calling, no better time to pursue that path than in this changed world, with life at a premium…

Game on…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There we were – me along with my cousins playing a game of Ludo – the popular board game. Past 12 in the night, rolling the virtual dice and passing comments and smileys…

As the lockdown has continued and disrupted quite a few aspects of life, it has encouraged virtual ways of doing the many things that we are regulars at or at least enthusiastic about. Talking to group of friends and relatives on video calls, having virtual parties and get-togethers, to now playing the many available games online with family and friends.

What takes the cake for me though is the virtual gaming scene. One of my friends mentioned it is like an unstoppable habit – once you log in and play with people whom you know, you tend to enjoy more and play more. And why not? In times when most people are stuck at homes, games are a good way of socialising.

In fact, one of the prime pass-times for us as children used to be board and card games. I remember spending hours together on carrom, chess, monopoly, and card games during my summer holidays. Even now when we get together, most cousins enjoy playing a few games together. It is a special kind of bonding, unspeakable in words.

Of course, multiplayer games aren’t a new phenomenon or a complete substitute for playing when being physically present with each other. But with the current situation, I feel they have lent a new dimension to having fun. And some of the simpler ones are actually a bigger draw – for the mere fact that you are playing more to rekindle the feeling of the days gone by and to celebrate being together than the actual game.

As that game of Ludo came to an end with me losing and cursing my luck, what I really wished for was to have one more round to have more fun with my cousins. Although I could play only a couple of games before my phone gave way and work prevented me from participating in more matches today, in that one hour I lived life the way it is supposed to be – happy and blissful. And that’s what counts.

Let the games begin!!!

Creativity, Children and Life

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

My wife had kept empty egg shells out in the sun to dry. I wasn’t sure why and so I asked her. The answer I got amused me…

As life has taken a stay at home turn during the on-going health crisis, a lot of us working parents have had complaints about what to do with children’s time.

Children, who would have otherwise been occupied by school; or now with summer holidays on in most parts of India, in summer time classes or summer camps or with their grandparents. Alas, the Coronavirus came just when children have the most fun in their life!

And so naturally, we have had to find ways to keep them engaged through our busy work from home days. I have seen umpteen posts about activities for children – how to spend their time doing creative and productive stuff.

Some of us though have invented our own. Like my wife – she had kept the empty egg shells to dry so that our daughter could paint them. And this is after having her paint all the drawing and sketching books, diyas, and empty sheets of paper.

I have also tried to find ways to keep her busy. Got hold of a few old comic books and read them to her. Played some board games. Listened to music together. But nothing could beat the egg shells.

At first I was skeptical of what will our daughter learn from it – it will just be another painting exercise. But as I saw her engage in the activity and then the results, I was amazed. The creativity she showed and the care she displayed in handling the egg shells have surely left some good impressions on her…

As I was looking at those painted egg shells today in the lazy hour right after lunch, it occurred to me that our life is also like an empty shell. We fill the colours in it and make whatever we do out of it. And that’s what defines our work, our relations, our successes.

But often, we let the shell go to waste by doing unproductive or unimportant things. We don’t focus on doing good work and ensuring completion. We don’t take care of our health on a regular basis. Or worse, we don’t paint the shell at all and leave it colourless or make it a monochrome. We focus on only one thing that’s important to us, neglecting the many beautiful things that life throws at us. Or dissociate with others and live life cocooned in our own comfort.

As my chain of thought got broken by my daughter clamouring for some more paint – she was still painting more egg shells – I resolved to allow her to paint her life as she wants to, without any prejudices or directions. And to get back to painting mine with more and more colours!

Busy Lives and Lockdowns

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

 

Stress – this one word has become common parlance in our vocabulary…

No doubt, we have become very busy in our work lives and have hundreds of things to take care of on a daily basis, multitasking to the hilt. The to-dos on our personal lists aren’t going off and with both of the partners working in most marriages, levels are shooting through the roof.

How do we handle this? What do we do to ensure we can remain sane in this maddening world? I was thinking on these aspects for some time in Feb and had this post in draft mode since last 1 month. Suddenly, realised that the on-going lockdown due to Coronavirus has added new dimensions to the entire question and given some answers.

While our lives are centred around our families in India, in today’s day and age a large part of it is spent working, taking phone calls, commuting to work, and spending time in after-office parties. As the economy has progressed over the last few years, so has this proportion in our lives. 

I remember, my father’s working hours. We as kids always used to wonder, why does he have to work so hard. He was a banker and his usual time to come home was 8 pm. He used to be busy on Saturdays also. But he had time to spend with us. On Sundays and other holidays, there wasn’t anything that bothered him. We used to get undivided attention. 

Some of my uncles who were in Govt. jobs had an even better schedule. They used to be generally back home by 6:30 or 7. In fact one of the uncles who was working in a Defence production / ordnance factory, used to be back home at 4 as he started his day early. Without many distractions post work, people used to spend time meeting others, spending time with family, playing with kids, and following their hobbies.

As I entered my first job in 2005, it was a slower world than now. Software hadn’t eaten the world completely, laptops weren’t commonplace, and smartphones as a category was a couple of years away. So, once office finished by 7 or so, one could go home and indulge in other pursuits. Commute times were 30-45 minutes at the max and social media wasn’t as pervading. 

By my second job in 2010, a few times one needed to get on calls after office hours and sometimes spend time working on stuff post that. Commute times had increased to 45-60 minutes and social media was starting to get attention by a few people across the board. Still, weekends were times to relax and unwind, and to do things one wanted to pursue outside of work.

In recent years though, work life has become ubiquitous. We carry our laptops everywhere, smartphones keep beeping with work emails taking our attention, and there are always things to complete. Depending on the industry one is in, weekends also require you to pitch in sometimes. Commute times have increased between 1-2 hours and social media and WhatsApp is eating away attention by the minute. And in between all this, there’s life beyond work, which is waiting on the other side. 

This unexpected lockdown situation has now given us a great chance to catch up on that life. We are all still working but in the confines of our home. Of course, more time is being spent on calls and messages but commute times are being saved. And in between those work sessions, there’s time to spend with our loved ones, to do a few things after office hours, spending time talking to each other, playing with the kids, and pursuing our hobbies.

Although news on the virus spread is worrying and the current situation uncertain, its also given us a chance to relive our lives as if it were the 90’s! Let’s live it to the fullest until it lasts!!!