Mindset

The Sound of New

~ Rishi ~ 2 Comments

When something is new or happening with us for the first time, it’s always so rewarding. Why does that happen? And why doesn’t it happen often?

This week, while travelling from Bangalore to my home town, this question hit me. And took me down my own rabbit hole.

As it happened, the gentleman sitting next to me was perhaps sitting in a flight for the first time. There are lots of Indians who can now afford flights and are taking to the skies for the first time.

Naturally, this person was amazed with the experience. He was clicking photos and videos, wanted to experience the onboard services, and so on. Sitting next to him, I was keenly observing him.

Towards the end of the flight, every passenger’s attention turned to him. As it turned out, this person couldn’t hold his water and needed to visit the loo quite frequently and was getting up to go to the washroom.

He was reprimanded by the air hostess a couple of times for getting up from his seat while the seat belt sign was on.

What I found amazing was that he didn’t get offended by the air hostess. He took the reprimand in his stride and sat down the first time, attempting the feat again after a few minutes. In vain, for he was asked to sit down again.

Even then, he had a boyish smile on his face and he didn’t worry about it. As soon as the flight landed, he got up quickly and went over to the washroom. As we were getting out, he thanked me for letting him through (I was sitting on the aisle seat).

I left the plane with a smile on my face. I could relate this person’s experience to what a young child finds herself in when she experiences something for the first time.

The child is amazed and curious at the same time. She explores things and figures out what they mean by herself. She sometimes lands in trouble but continues to move ahead undeterred.

She is sometimes reprimanded by a parent or an elder, but doesn’t take it inversely. She rather checks herself and then does the right thing.

We, elders on the other hand, lose our curiosity after a few experiences and take everything with the familiarity of the known. We stop wondering at the small things. We take offence on minute things even if we aren’t in the right.

Our knowledge and ego perhaps stops us from experiencing life to the fullest and explore new things. Or to understand when to move forward or to check ourselves…

Maybe, we need to remind ourselves to not have our mind so full all the time!

Playing the long game…

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

This past week, I had three instances when I was talking to someone about how I am working on my first book.

As I wrote earlier, I have been inspired by my dad’s will to finish and publish my grandfather’s magnum opus. With this inspiration, I took it upon myself to translate the book, originally written in Hindi with Sanskrit words, into English.

I chose English because that’s how I think and write. But more importantly because I feel that will help me expose the book to a far wider audience.

As I was talking about it this week, it felt good that I am able to contribute to this legacy that our family holds.

Then, as I reflected back on those conversations, I realised that it isn’t just because I am contributing but also because I am picking up a challenge!

The challenge of translating my grandfather’s poetic flourishes into an equitable prose form. Translating a story steeped into mythology into something which is perhaps more relatable to the current generation.

While these thoughts were overwhelming, I also echoed the goals I have set for myself during these conversations.

This year is dedicated to understanding the original version. The next year is meant to start translating and writing down portions. And the one after is when I hope it will all come together.

By breaking down my ambitious take into smaller goals, I feel I am helping myself. To be able to measure progress in one’s pursuit is helpful and I should be able to do that with these goals.

I may slip a bit sometimes. For example, I haven’t been able to spend any time on the book reading with my dad for the past three months. But I know that having gone through sixty percent of it, I have time to do it before the end of the year.

Maybe I will slide some more and miss some goals. But I will continue to strive to keep myself in pursuit without too much deviation.

For playing the long game requires planning and patience…

It also requires to be appreciative of the phases when things don’t go as per plan. And then recover and start again.

Something worthwhile for us to think about in general in our life!

World building

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I have always marvelled at the way in which writers build a world. Something that the consumer of that story can read or watch or listen to, and get fascinated by.

However I didn’t know how hard it is to do so. Until this year when I started going deeper into the subject.

Well, I got a glimpse of it when I wrote a few short stories last year. Or as I read through some broad-canvassed fiction like the Lord of the Rings (which by the way was portrayed very well with multiple nuances in the films)!

But I hadn’t imagined the difficulty yet.

Since the beginning of the year, I have been working with my dad to translate my grandfather’s magnum opus that we recently published in the original form. It is written in verse in Hindi and Sanskrit, so I have taken it upon myself to translate it in English and make it available to a wider audience.

As I have ventured on that path, and am reading through the original script in detail, I sometimes sit back and wonder. About how my grandfather managed to write such eloquent and detailed a book about something so commonly known in Indian mythology. And about my own ability to bring it out in my adaptation.

It is hard to imagine. And to put that imagination into words. Words that make a story look real and relatable.

Kudos to writers who do this well. In fact, most of the famous books ride on this world building. The reader feels immersed in the alternate universe that’s created in the pages. And that’s what beholds people to that literary work. Same is true for any art form which leave a lasting impression upon us.

As I reflected deeply on this aspect this past week, I realised that we all have similar opportunities in our daily lives.

Apart from being consumers of content, we are also producers of some other content in our daily lives. It might be some document or presentation at work, some work assigned from our college or school, or even in our daily lives when we talk to our children and narrate them stories.

We have an opportunity to build something that can be as immersive or interesting as the books we read or the films we watch. However, we don’t do that most of the times…

We rather focus on the here and now to get things done. To submit on time. To finish within the deadline. To get done and move on.

What if we changed our focus to doing what’s on our hands in the best way possible? Where the person who looks at our work can relate to it and go back with a feeling of having come across something beautifully done.

Perhaps the key is to think of it as a story revolving around us and how the details give out how we perceive our world or the one around us…

Regrets and Gratitude

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I often come across people who ask me questions around regrets.

Do I regret that I couldn’t continue in the Army and had to come out because of a medical injury?

Do I regret that my business luck didn’t work and I had to move back to a job?

Do I regret that those moments happened in my life? Yes, absolutely there’s regret. I will be feigning if I said I don’t regret. If I could have done something differently or been in another place another time.

But that regret has reduced. Specially as years have progressed!

Because, while those failures or mishaps did leave me in a lurch, they also taught me a lot. That realisation has only grown stronger with each passing year.

Yesterday, while taking a walk in the neighbourhood, I was thinking about what I missed in those years when I was trying to run my own business and it didn’t work out. What did I lose?

Of course, I lost monetarily. I could have earned some more money. I lost some hair on my head. Which is not a non-guaranteed outcome elsewhere. I lost some years in the corporate race. As if it really matters.

As I thought about these things, I realised that I have been more than compensated for these losses in the years since (if you don’t consider hair fall to be one really!).

I learnt so many things that I wouldn’t have in a job. I got to do so many new things I hadn’t done ever. And more than anything else, those days opened my vistas and my outlook towards life.

Moreover, I realised life has in some way helped me recoup the self-perceived losses. I am not worse off in any sense because of that lost time.

This made me think – we live our life with regrets. About not having done something or achieved something. What if we flipped it and instead be grateful for what we are experiencing and learning. And how it helps us in the larger scheme of things.

After all, what are a few years when compared to decades of life that most of us experience!

“Fear”

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We always want to succeed. But we often fail. Why does that happen? And what does it consciously or sub-consciously teach us?

These questions swirled in my mind as I was watching my daughter yesterday evening.

She was fearlessly trying gymnastic routines that she has been learning. Without the fear of falling or getting hurt. As I saw that, I recalled my own younger self playing with cousins, jumping on the ground from low heights, fearlessly oblivious to any potential hurt.

The kind of things that we did as kids! Without giving it a second thought. Without worrying about the consequences of a move gone wrong.

Most importantly, without fear of what would happen!

We used to say, let’s try. And if we failed, we just got up, dusted ourselves off, and probably had a go at it again. Until either we mastered the swashbuckling move we were trying, or were warned off by someone elder to us.

We wouldn’t stop and analyze what went wrong for a long time. We wouldn’t think about quitting because we didn’t succeed the first time. We wouldn’t give up so easily just because we didn’t know enough.

But now, as a grown up, we do that often.

We balk at the unknown all the time. We make calculated moves because we think it’s not worth risking things. We limit ourselves because we don’t want to stand out, we want to blend in.

And yet, we are none the wiser. We are far more conservative in our approaches, often short-sighted, and at times frustrated about our limitations.

Well, life happened and we faced enough failures through our journey that we started fearing a lot of things. We started obsessing about what shouldn’t go wrong. And what we shouldn’t do.

What if we keep that experience aside and instead adopt the approach we took in our childhood?

Go at things unhindered, without the fear of failure. Without the fear of “what if”. Without the fear of embarrassment. And without stopping when we meet obstacles or when our plans don’t go as we wanted them to.

Without wanting to succeed at all costs.

I believe we will do ourselves a world of good. And to those around us. By challenging ourselves and others, we will unearth more within us.

For what is life, if we don’t try enough…

What’s with the Age?

~ Rishi ~ 3 Comments

We have progressively started living longer lives. But what does it mean to age?

The past week, there were two instances which forced me to think in this direction.

The first one was when my daughter asked a great question, something kids are privileged with. It went something like “why do you need to work on a laptop”?

The second one emerged from a casual conversation with a colleague about how the world has changed for us over the last 25 odd years. And that means most things we do today are done in a different way than when we were born.

As I thought about it, I started looking at my life and how it’s progressed and then to make things more interesting, looked at it from my parents lives.

Imagine someone born in the 50’s in India. Didn’t have radio as a widely used medium, mostly consuming information through newspapers. As she grows up, most interaction is limited to immediate family or neighbourhood.

Then, once she reaches college, she starts to listen to radio and watching more cinema in the theatres. She gets an occasional new thing in her life like a watch or maybe takes a trip to different places to learn.

Years later, well in her 20’s she discovers television, refrigerators, and some bit of computers if she is lucky. But the usage is limited to occasional.

It’s only in her late 30’s that she learns about the Internet. She gets to know how to operate a microwave oven and a washing machine. And a car really becomes a regular vehicle of choice.

With the turn of the century, in her 40’s, life changes as the mobile phone becomes ubiquitous. Internet becomes comprehensible and working on computers becomes the main thing for most office goers. International vacations become widely affordable.

But it’s not until probably in her 50’s that this lady discovers a smartphone. Facebook and video calls. YouTube and WhatsApp. Connected cars and live streaming enter the lexicon in her 60’s.

This lady who is inching towards her 70’s now, has come a long way. And she has had to adapt every step of the way to new things that she couldn’t even imagine as a child. Learning and unlearning, adjusting and accommodating.

For us born in the 80’s or 90’s, most things today seem like a natural progression. But if we think through this lady’s perspective, we realise most of these are way too much to handle.

Yet, our parents handle them on a daily basis. Enjoying the process of getting to know new stuff. Sometimes befuddled, sometimes bemused, but mostly a sport.

And that’s the essence of aging beautifully in today’s material world. Adapting, learning, letting go of things but still holding on to the older self, exploring new things with a keen mindset, and being ready for new experiences.

Perhaps with a new set of questions that we need to ask our kids and grandkids as we make sense of the changes about to come…

Turning Point

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

It was a bad morning. Worse than what the teenaged boy could imagine.

He had just woken up and realised that he was out of luck finally. His examination scores had come and what was being foretold silently in his head had come true. He had flunked.

Feeling utterly disappointed, he lugged himself down to the living room and sat down with moist eyes. His parents were sitting at the dining table, sipping their morning tea.

He couldn’t bear to face them. After all, he himself had told them not to worry about his results. He had been a bright student all his life and while this year (and the past) hadn’t done justice to that tag, things would take care of themselves was his belief. He was in high school now, definitely grown up.

As he looked at the opposite wall, he felt a hand on his shoulder. And then one more on the other shoulder. He could feel his parents standing there behind him, trying to understand the reason for his sad mood.

Realising that he was about to cry, he bit his lip and shut his mouth and eyes firmly. The hands moved from his shoulders to either of his hands. His parents had come and sat beside him now.

Finally, he opened his eyes. He could not meet theirs, so looked down. Finally, after a few minutes, he mustered enough courage and spelt out the reason for his sadness to his parents.

He was expecting a lecture from them but instead they hugged him and told him not to worry. He may have had a bad year but there was a lot to look forward to in life. And it was important for him to regroup himself.

He felt better. There was someone looking after him and would take care of things!

He also realised that he had been unnecessarily harsh and rude to the two people in his life who mattered the most and would do anything to see him happy. This made him feel guilty but also happy that he was able to realise his mistake sooner.

As he went back into the room after spending some time with his parents that day, he felt lighter. As if the entire life’s weight he was trying to carry on his young shoulders had got support from others.

That day something changed in his mental makeup. Instead of fighting everything, he started looking at things more objectively. He started valuing relationships and what it meant. And he started owning up in the true sense rather than just aspiring for it.

It was the turning point in his life. He had started growing up!

Moving Places

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We started off as nomads. Adventurous people, living for the moment.

Then, somewhere along the way, we settled down. And became comfortable. With the knowns.

Somewhere, within the economic rhythm of different times, we got the notion that if we settle down and keep working our way through, we will eventually get where we want to.

But what we missed noting is that as our comfort converted into inertia, we got too naive. About other places. About other people. About other cultures. And most importantly about how that newness enriches us.

True, the world has become more globalised. We are travelling far more. People are moving places more than they ever did before.

But are we using that as an opportunity to create that wealth of experience for ourselves? Are we among those people who are ready to have some adventure in life, unsettle a little, experience the wild (not literally always)!

This week, as I started to figure out how to wind up things before a planned relocation, I came across this realization.

Most of us, including myself, in seeking steadiness, have become staid in our lives. We eschew the unknowns, confine to the tried and tested, and smirk at discomfort of any kind.

Even if we face some displacement, there are lot of anxieties that crop up within us. We tend to overanalyse impending changes a lot and weigh too much on pros and cons, to the detriment of our own sanity at times.

It doesn’t need to be so though.

If we just look at life as that adventure that’s waiting to give us a ride, and take ourselves slightly lightly, we will realise that any change is for the good. It always helps uncover things that we didn’t know about ourselves.

And while transitioning through that period of change is cumbersome and not necessary, the process itself yields benefits beyond what we can perceive at the beginning.

Easier said than done, however. Speaking about it from self experience…

Perhaps, the only way out is to believe and roll with it!

Bragging Rights

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The boy was ecstatic. After all, most boys his age wouldn’t have been able to win even 1 tournament at this age. And he had won the under-12 junior championships.

His parents were beaming. They had produced a prodigy, who at a young age of 9 years had excelled at playing table tennis. On the way to his tournament wins, he had beaten some other boys who were 2-3 years older than he was. Surely, they had a winner in their hands.

His coach was proud. He had honed the boy’s raw skills and made him adept at playing matches. He was surely going to win more, and with it would come the recognition for his coach also.

His friends were happy. They could now say that they were thick and close with the rising star in the school circuit. And they would often be able to go for these matches with free passes. Who wouldn’t want to…

The pattern of winning kept on repeating itself. Year after year. The boy became a young legend, ready to take on the world.

School finished, the boy entered a college. He could easily get in the top one on the basis of his sporting accomplishments. He had won the under-15 as well two years ago and was preparing to turn professional. They all wanted the best athletes to brag about their all-round personality development story.

Ultimately, at the age of 18, he turned pro. He broke into the scene with a bang and made a big splash. Ex-players were keen to take him under their belt and coach him. Administrators wanted to ensure they wouldn’t come in the way of a medal prospect. People around him always told him he is the best and no one can beat him.

This story kept on going in the expected direction for the next couple of years. The feelings kept on getting satiated and inflated at the same time. Of being more ecstatic. More sure. More proud. More happy. More confident.

No one noticed, but slowly that confidence and pride turned into a big ego. Also, into a boastful nature. The boy and everyone around him started bragging about how he was the best. How he could do no wrong. And how others couldn’t match up to him.

Everyone thought he could do it because it wouldn’t affect anyone. It was anyways just this one time. But those times kept on adding up.

No one paid attention to how it was affecting the boy’s game. How he had become over confident and dismissive of other players. And his coach. And his parents. And his friends. They all kept on feeding his ego. Because, after all, he was special.

And then, it all unravelled. With less and less practice and more and more distractions, errors creeped in. With less time focused on improving self and more in making fun of other players, small mistakes became bigger.

In the next tournament, the unexpected happened. The boy faltered at the finish line. But no one dared to call out his mistakes. No one attempted to talk to him about what was going wrong. They called it out as just a bad day and went about their own business. For, it was business after all.

As he played more tournaments, the performance bar kept on getting lower and lower. Slowly, those who applauded his every more, disappeared. Those who were close to him were shut down by him because he had always known that he was the chosen one, he was doing the right thing. Slowly, some of them went away.

Even this didn’t alarm him. He dismissed them as deserters and continued in his ways. He lost the touch he had in his game and became a regular, average player. While he chose to rest on his past laurels, others moved on and became better.

Ultimately, the one who was supposed to bring name, fame, and money, passed into the annals of time as an also-ran.

Only if someone would have taught him humility. Of being confident about himself but not being dismissive of others. Perhaps, if someone would have called him out at the right time. Things would have been different.

But alas, everyone was only interested in bragging rights…

Inspiration

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“the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something…” That’s how the Oxford dictionary defines ‘Inspiration’.

It’s a powerful word because it not only denotes a state of mind that is better than what most would experience but also promises an outcome that will be better than what most would expect.

It can be a boon for average humans, pushing them into a higher gear they didn’t know existed. It can be a bane for those who constantly seek it, for it eludes the most gifted sometimes.

We seek it in difficult times, when we need the strength to get by. We also seek it when the times are good and we need to go higher and farther.

The dichotomy is, it is easy to find and yet hard to internalize!

As I was ruminating today on a few events recently, I realized that we constantly seek inspiration. At home when we want to try something new, at work when we are wanting to do our best, on vacations when we set our life’s goals, in the middle of our busy life when those goalposts keep shifting or seem very far. Basically, in any and every setting.

And yet, while it’s almost always easy to find that inspiration, the difficult part is to keep that inspiration somewhere within us and move ahead with sure-headedness that the inspiration provides us. A lot of times, while we get inspired in the moment or for a few days, it isn’t sustainable to keep that inspiration going for a long time.

That’s why we discontinue our new fitness regimen after making that new year resolution. Or we find it difficult to give ourselves that 1 hour everyday to do things that we love to do after a few days. Or we give up on that new skill that we were so excited about in the previous year. Or how we just coast along at work, and in life, after a few heady weeks when we wanted to be our absolute best.

Only those who are able to sustain that inspiration within themselves, internalize it and make their goal a must-achieve one, and then work towards it diligently day after day, are the ones who benefit from that inspiration. Otherwise, most of us just move on to the next inspiration in line, trying to make ends meet.

To succeed in life then, is the best strategy to decide on what is most important for us and then draw inspiration to help us succeed within those sphere(s)? Or does it make more sense of going with the flow and living life, while trying to understand what really inspires us and then doubling down on it?

I don’t know. Different approaches work for different people.

What I do know and have realized is, whatever approach we take to life, it’s important we derive inspiration from anything that can push us, for everything that we do. For we do need it from time to time!

And for things that matter to us, whether at the outset or as the fog lifts, we must internalize those inspirations to make sure that we don’t drop the ball mid-way…