Success

Head or Heart?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It is the classic conundrum!

What do we do when faced with a situation and how do we decide? Or what perspective do we think from and act upon the most?

There have been reams of thesis work written on this I am supposing, from the 288 million results Google throws at us when we search for this term. And yet, we are none the wiser as to which one is better.

Going through life’s paces, this question somewhere stared at me during the week. And as I looked deep within, I was hit with the sheer complexity of it.

I for one, thought of myself as a heart person. I mostly tend to do what my heart / gut says, going with intuition rather than after a lot of thought / applying my mind. But it is ‘mostly’ and not ‘always’!

A few others I know up close and personal also fell into similar zones – choosing one over the other ‘most’ of the times. As much as I thought about, I couldn’t place a single person who was at either of the extremes all the time.

I didn’t get into full-on research mode, but I am guessing it will be almost impossible to place someone completely in a single category. We are by nature inclined towards one but cannot forego the other completely.

Is there a right choice between the two? I don’t know, as I will always choose the heart whereas someone who has had different experiences than me will probably lean on the other side. But we will never be able to side with our choice at all times.

In essence, it is one of those things in life which is never absolute!

In fact, if we look at many a things around, most of them are never absolute. We however try and categorise around groups, without realising that there are permeable boundaries in between.

We seek the absolute because there is comfort in knowing something sticks, in consistency, in predictability.

Life on the other hand is the complete opposite – shifting always, never settling in one direction. Always challenging us to change ourselves, to consider other sides and opinions, and to move even when there is uncertainity.

It is when we grasp this game and accept to play it as it comes, using our heart to gauge it and leaning on our head to pull us through, is when we move ahead and progress…

Win or Lose – what after the Games?

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

What is important? Is it even important to fuss over the result or is it sufficient to have just played? What to make of those who won? And those who lost? And what does all of this hold for us?

As the Olympic Games gala got over today, some of these questions floated into my mind…

These Olympic Games saw the best run ever by India, finishing with 7 medals. All of us Indians are ecstatic right now. After all, we won a Gold in a track and field event for the first time. Going with 2 silvers and 3 bronze medals, including one for Hockey which is our national sport, a lot of our champs proved their mettle.

It’s been an interesting last few weeks as I observed the commentary on the games and also had multiple chats at home and with friends on what to expect, how India is faring, good bad and ugly of Indian sports, and so on. I’m sure, for most of us, these last 2 weeks would have been in a similar zone – with sports dominating the conversations. And that too, not cricket for a change!

Depending on who you talked to, there would be different views – some focused on the personal aspects like what went behind the training of the sportsmen / women, who were they competing against, etc. And some focused on the collective aspects like is India really doing it’s best to provide facilities and infrastructure for fostering world-class sports stars, how is it that Chinese have started winning so many medals and their training regime, and so on.

You get it – most of these conversations we had were merely that. Talk of the town to berate or praise different aspects of sports without actually knowing what goes behind the scenes or what to attribute the outcome to. In fact, most of the conversations start with sports and then deviate into politics.

As with other seasonal topics, these will die down after a few days or weeks and will be replaced by other topical issues.

What I do hope remains though are the dreams that these games have given to the young ones in the country and how some of those dreams metamorphose into effort and training, leading to more glory in the coming years across different sporting disciplines.

What I also hope remains is the interest that has been generated in the other sports apart from cricket, which encourages many more kids to pick them up and many more parents to allow their children to pursue them seriously.

And what I certainly hope for is that all of us Indians start laying much more emphasis on sports as a medium of all round development for ourselves and our kids. For what is important is not to win or lose but to play well and gain from either of the experiences. Something that our kids generation definitely needs to imbibe whole-heartedly…

Only then, will the promise that we saw in these games will be translated into action not only in the sporting field but also in all aspects of our lives as a nation!

Resilience

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The capacity to recover from difficulties; toughness. That’s how the word is described in the dictionary.

It is an internal force that makes it possible for us to move ahead. In life. At any given stage.

It is what fills us with hope. Of the possibilities that lay ahead. Even when the chips are down and the path seems to have come to a dead end.

It is what gives us the strength to continue in spite of what people around us say. To us or behind us.

It is what helps us believe in ourselves when others may not. Even though we may not have all the qualifications or the experience to do it.

But only when, there is love and purpose.

For otherwise, there is no incentive, even for the most hard nosed, to rekindle that spark and forge ahead.

Only when we have love around us and for what we want to do, can we feel the passion to make things happen. Else, what we are planning to do will anyways feel like drudgery soon…

And only when there is real purpose in what we want to achieve. Though we know there could be multiple thorns lying around. And the path is too wound up and convoluted. With a great chance of failure.

Yet, most of us dream of achieving things in a jiffy. Of landing up where we want to be without much struggle or pain. Without being prepared for the many surprises that the path may throw at us.

No doubt, most times we quit. Within a short span or in the middle, when the entire plan seems stuck.

This is true for things in our personal life or at work. Whether it is being healthy and fit, or pursuing a serious hobby. Whether it is a project at work or a business plan in our head. Whether it is for ourselves or for our teams.

So, the first thing that we should ask ourselves then – “Do I have love and purpose for what I am going to pursue? Genuinely?”.

That would be half the battle won. In our minds. And on the field.

Legacy…

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It is something we leave behind and hand over to the next generation.

Something that inspires a lot of people and helps them identify a meaning in all they have done through the years.

Or something that in hindsight helps us judge what we did in that particular phase of our life or work.

Well, I have always viewed the term with some suspicion. Not because I think it is over-rated but because I think it carries a negative stress in the present.

There are a few people who leave impressive legacies behind. But not because they started with that intention. They just wanted to do their best in the moment. And whatever they leave behind happens as a natural result of that effort.

On the other side, there are those who don’t bother at all about these matters and live their life without worrying about what they are leaving behind. They do their work or live their life and pass into oblivion, which isn’t a bad option in the larger scheme of things.

And then there are those who always get bothered by whether what they are doing will be enough to leave behind that impression. Now, that’s precisely the kind of negative stress I am referring to. Trying to prove a point and do something with the future in mind, without focusing on ensuring the best possible in the present.

A lot of us these days, either due to the hype around the term ‘legacy’ or because of the added pressure we put on ourselves to excel in whatever we do, land up in the third category. For some of us in fact, sometimes it gets complicated because once we start looking out into the future with one eye, the view isn’t complete in the present. And due to that stress we sometimes end up trying too hard and not being our natural self, or worse, doing things the wrong way to reach where we want to be through a shortcut.

Not something that we would recommend to any of our friends, leave along to ourselves!

As I served my last day in a company I have been with for almost 5 years and had a lengthy conversation with a senior about some of these aspects, these thoughts came into my mind…

When I dug deeper, I realised that if we look at this issue from another perspective, it is actually not what we have done and the accolades that we have bought to the table that matter. What matters is the foundation we built or built upon, and the strength of the pillars we erected during that phase of our life or work. In the present.

Are they going to sustain after we are gone? Will those, who are left behind after us, be able to live with it? Is the structure going to soar higher from where we left it?

I think that is a more pertinent way of looking at any phase of our life or work and determining the impression that we leave behind. It also gives us the luxury of focusing on the present completely without worrying about or stressing about what happens to it after we leave.

While all of us are wishful about the impact we have or may have with our actions or work or life in the future, I guess living in the present and staying focused on what we are doing in the here and now are way more important.

At least, that gives us a chance of leaving behind a legacy, if at all!

We the People.

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

Are the backbone of everything that happens…

It is people who build up a structure that moves forward to achieve the common goals.

Whether it is nations or organisations or families or groups, everything happens either for people or with people but always with them being front and center.

Yet, very often they are neglected or not paid enough attention to. In nations, in organisations and even in groups and families.

On the personal end of the spectrum, when people don’t get the feeling of being a part of the group or the family, they move out. They seek others who would make them feel special and wanted.

That’s perhaps why we always take care of those we want to keep close to us and don’t worry much about the others in the world. And that works for us because at the end, one can only manage being close to a few people.

At the collective end of the spectrum, nations do most of the things keeping in mind their people. Wanting to keep them united at all costs. And all of us, irrespective of our political inclinations or beliefs, want our community and our nation to succeed and feel strongly for it.

But when a nation fails to keep its people’s interests in mind, it starts lagging behind others. People overthrow the regime or vote it out of power. And reassert their right to be taken care of.

However, when it comes to somewhere in between the spectrum, where organisations exist, the same principles do not always apply. For an organisation is neither personal nor a community. It is a collective which is abstract in nature and bound by loose ideas which may not be agreeable to everyone.

People come in to work in an organisation or with it for their benefit. Knowing that whatever they do will at the same time benefit the organisation. And organisations also understand that nature of association.

So even if people leave, organisations survive. They are replaced by new or existing people. All for the good, of all the parties involved.

However, organisations that flourish are those that take care of their people, despite the transactional relationship. Because that is what gives its people the feeling of being wanted.

The ones that neglect their people or take them for granted or treat them as tools to achieve objectives, almost always fold up. If not in the short term then in the long run. Because people are intelligent.

And that is why it is so important to build teams, groups, and organisations in a way we build families and nations. Through trust, transparency, and respect. To make it endure. And succeed!

Leader or Team – who maketh whom?

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

This week two things dovetailed rather interestingly. I finished the final 3 episodes of “The Last Dance” on Netflix and also the last few chapters of the book “No Rules Rules” by the Netflix founder.

Apart from the common aspect of both being related to Netflix, what I found interesting was that both dealt with a common subject – teams and leadership, and which one is more important!

What makes some teams tick and not the others? Why some leaders are more successful? These questions are important not just in sports or business but also in our daily lives. Because, that is what helps us move forward as a society…

Most of us believe that the leader is the most important person. There are paeans written about some of the most successful ones and how they changed the course of history or of their team. There are multiple books devoted to the art of leading and how to be a good leader.

On the other side, some of us believe that it is the sum total of the team members that makes a team reach the top. Each member plays an important role in the buildup and the final act towards that success. And yet, we are all expected to play a part as a good team member naturally; no one teaches us how to be one.

Looking at the two examples this week made me realise that it is a symbiotic relationship. A leader is as good as her team and draws strength from the individual parts to shape it up for the success. And the team members are equal contributors to the success if they fit in that gap and play to their strengths.

There have been many leaders who were good in their own right but couldn’t succeed because the team wasn’t just good enough. And there have been teams which were very good on paper but didn’t have the right leader to lead them to success.

So what makes both of them tick? I think it has got to do with one’s ego, mutual respect, self awareness, and interpersonal bonding. As long as these are in the right place, teams work wonders. And if not for these, things disintegrate!

As we enter an uncertain phase in our lives again with the rapidly escalating virus situation in India, these aspects become doubly important for us as citizens and as a society. Time to buckle up and play as a team to win this battle! In all the spheres we play in…

Life and Success…

~ Rishi ~ 3 Comments

Movies, the good ones, often leave us with afterthoughts. This weekend, as I watched a couple of animated ones with the kiddo (Up and Soul, both Pixar creations and interestingly by the same director), they wound me down a labyrinth!

A labyrinth where I tried to define success – what is it? What does it mean? And how does it look like?

Is it about the outcome or the process?

Is it chasing one’s dreams at any cost and achieving them? Or is it about feeling happy about whatever best we can do?

Is it about having the most (or heaps of) whatever we desire or is it to find inner satisfaction from the outcomes we have achieved?

Is it about working for the future at all times, trying to create a better one? Or finding fulfilment in our present life and enjoying our life to the fullest?

Is it internal or external or both?

Well, as I kept zigzagging between these thoughts, I couldn’t come up to a single aha moment. It was confusing!

Perhaps because we have so many versions of success – people who have had outsized achievements as well as those who have found their true calling and succeeded in whatever they wanted to achieve.

Or perhaps because there are two contrarian points of view – one about how the famous ones have achieved what they have and the other about how to be content with what you’ve got.

Or perhaps because each one of us have our own definitions of what it really means for us to succeed. A definition which keeps changing with times.

I haven’t figured it out yet. What I did figure out was that it is a shifting goal post for most of us. One that keeps us alive and kicking, while providing the impetus to move forward in life.

What’s important is to keep celebrating the small wins, cherishing the good moments, being grateful for our lives and for where we are, and planning forward…

Sprint or Marathon?

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I was caught on the wrong foot. Having run it like a sprint for the past few years, I had suddenly realised that life was a marathon!

All of us have our own thought processes about how life should pan out for us. And what should it lead to. As I came out of b-school and started working, I came to a conclusion that my life had to be in the fast lane and lead to massive success early on.

The next few years were spent chasing that dream. I set up my own business, worked extra hard, and burned myself going that extra mile to achieve success.

While the business did give me success and satisfaction, it was the thrill of being your own boss and running something for yourself that kept me going through a gruelling schedule and running the sprint.

It wasn’t until I decided to close down my business after 3 years and the hectic activity slowed down, did I start noticing that there were some gaps in my theory…

For one, I had neglected my health and had serious trouble on that front. I had also not been able to spend as much time with my family as I would have liked to. And I had spent most of what I earned, living life in the fast lane!

It was devastating to know that I had been running the race all wrong. Forgetting the dream that I had nurtured and closing down the business was in itself a painful process. Adding to it were all these other factors which were making me realise that I had been mistaken.

The next couple of months, I spent in introspection and thinking through on what went wrong and right for me. And while I carried rich experience that I couldn’t have got anywhere else, I realised that I could have run the race differently and had a more wholesome life.

After all, life is not a race to be finished, like a sprint. It is a marathon to be savoured and felt, going through the easy and tough phases. And it is above all an experience.

As I re-integrated with the corporate life again and got back to work subsequently, I made a quiet resolve that I will never be lured into running a sprint again.

And while the last few years have been busy, at the bottom of my heart and in my mind, I am running a marathon rather than a sprint.

As I spoke to an ex-colleague this week and we talked about this aspect of life, it made me realise that I have to keep course correcting myself from time to time to ensure that the bigger picture is not lost.

And to continue to live life to the fullest possible, enjoying the scenery and the road!!!

The Core.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

I was in the second term at the IMA. For all us Gentlemen Cadets (that’s what we were called), the most important thing was to focus on passing the myriad tests. I had failed one of them that day. And it was worrisome…

It was the famed toe-touches I had failed at. You hang on a bar, like you would to do pull-ups. Only, instead of pulling the body up, you bring your legs closely up to your chest and bend your head backwards to let the toes touch the bar. Without swinging to and fro. And with control.

And I sucked at it. I knew it beforehand that I would fail. While, I had passed the other tests, knowing that I couldn’t even do one toe-touch after spending almost 8 months in the Academy was worrisome. Also, because unless one clears the tests, you cannot pass out.

When we look at the forces, we always associate them with strength, courage, and discipline. However, when you are in the training, going through the daily rigamarole, you wonder what more can you do. How can you surpass yourself. And go beyond your own limits. Limits that you attained inch by inch. And that’s where the mind comes to play.

As I went back to my room that day and sat down to reflect on my performance (or rather the lack of it), I realised I had not focused on my core. Literally. I had gained on my running technique and speed and become better at free-hand exercises. But I hadn’t worked too much on my core, it wasn’t strong enough for me to do toe-touches. And unless it was, I couldn’t rest.

So, back to the drawing board, I enlisted help of a couple of friends. The next test was about a month or so away and I had to focus every single day. Thus began my most gruelling physical training period in the Academy, when on a daily basis I focused on what I did to strengthen my core and measured myself rigorously, while eating extremely consciously.

Cutting the long story short, I worked upon myself and pushed things to the limit, to finally master the technique and have the strength in my core to clear the test the next time round. But this taught me two important things – to focus on the core and to do whatever it takes.

The core – it’s critical to master it and focus on maintaining it. Whether in physical standards, or in business matters.

Some of the successful businesses built in recent years have understood their core very well and trained for it to become strong. For example, how a bunch of 50+ aged founders have succeeded in building a successful e-commerce business (BigBasket – https://the-ken.com/story/interview-hari-menon-bigbasket/). I am sure there are similar stories behind other successful companies also. And same is the case with any team for that matter – if the core is strong, challenges are fun to solve for and invariably get surpassed.

Watching a fellow apartment dweller the other day working out in the gym, as I saw him giving his +100% to some of the core-building exercises, I realised the discipline he had set for himself to reach that level. His core was strong. And while mine isn’t as strong in terms of physical standards, I remember the above instance at IMA and try to ensure that I focus on the core and do whatever it takes to maintain it in order. Physically and at work with my team. Hopefully.

Success!?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

A conversation with a friend over the weekend, on what’s happening around with people, led to an interesting perspective when we ventured into the topic of how are people reacting to the situation…

We were discussing about how the pandemic has hit people and business. We talked about friends from the business side, who have been hit hard by the slowdown. And about people who have lost their jobs or are in companies which are asking employees to leave.

And as we discussed this gloomy scenario, as well as when I was brooding afterwards, there were a few examples of how some have weathered the storm well or adapted well to it. A professional who had always been very conscious of his expenses and continues to exercise that caution and manage work well; a business-man who has identified new opportunities and pivoted his business to suit ground-reality; a senior manager who has made peace with hitting the ceiling in the organization.

This made me think about how we should measure success…

Humans are naturally competitive. We have been blessed with the survival instinct since our ape days and what made us save ourselves back in those times, has also helped us evolve and grow in the modern age. And that keeps us ticking as a race.

However, as we have grown and prospered, so has our hunger to succeed in everything we do. Whether it is studies, sports, work, or life in general, we measure our success relative to others.

A student is fed about how his success in life depends on studies and goaded to try harder. A girl playing sport (if the parents allow it after all) is made to focus on how to succeed at the professional level. Everyone at work is seeking the summit. And all of us want the best house to live in, the best car to drive, and the best vacation.

While there is nothing wrong in seeking the best or aspiring for the same, it creates a lot of pressure on us as individuals. It forces us to forego certain charms of daily life and/or miss the moments that matter after all. And in that race, sometimes we lose ourselves also.

As I thought more about it, the question that was tops was – then how do we cushion ourselves? How do we be a part of the society and try our best but without driving ourselves to the edge? And how do we maintain peace with the way life has laid down the cards for us and go on with it in the best way possible?

One of the plausible ways is to define the ceiling or floor for oneself – the room that we can live in comfortably without feeling lost. Another possible approach is to decide on what’s the parameter for success at every milestone and go about it in a methodical manner, without worrying about what lies next. Maybe dissociate ourselves from what others think or talk about us and focus instead on what success means to us.

There is no single right answer here. All of us have our own thought process and background to contend with, which makes us approach this question in our own way. However, if ever there was a question that we need to answer for ourselves, to make our life less complicated and more enjoyable, it is perhaps this. By defining our metrics, aligned with our life’s purpose, we can do a world of good to ourselves and to the ones who we love.

Will perhaps save many a heart attacks. Will also perhaps make the world a better place to live in!