Learning

Inspired!

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

There’s something magical about sports. I love it.

For the fun and joy it provides, of course. But also for the inspiration it provides to a mere mortal like me.

This week I had two such inspirational moments.

First was when I was reading through Andre Agassi’s biography. An extremely well written one, where he talks about his love and hate relationship with the game and his personal struggles to lay down the path of glory.

And second when I watched Virat Kohli get to his 30th hundred leaving behind the great Don Bradman. Having waited for more than a year, it was a sweet feeling to see him get there despite all odds and everyone having written him off.

These moments made me recall all the amazing things I have learnt from sports and sports people.

Playing made me grow as a person, both on and off the field. I always played something or the other – football, cricket, hockey, athletics, and volleyball.

Mutual respect, trust, resilience, discipline – all qualities I picked up along the way.

But the bigger lessons came watching some of the professional superstars.

Observing Tendulkar, and then Dravid on the cricket field made me respect discipline and humility. I modeled myself to not get swayed by success or stuck due to failure.

Following Agassi and then Federer, hitting tennis balls through the line, taught me how to do it elegantly with my head held high. Knowing I had given it my best.

Watching the great Schumacher zag through the lanes and winning against odds made me appreciate the value of never giving up. And continuing even after a bad start.

Enjoying Messi’s play on the football field helped me understand how skills and team work need to come together to do great things. And why I always need to collaborate.

There are many more instances I could take and learnings I could recall.

But one important thing I really imbibed reading about these greats behind the scene, was the fact that success doesn’t come overnight.

It has to be toiled for, day after day, hour after hour of practice. It has to be planned for, even when the chances are slim. And it has to be aspired for, to really make a dash for it.

As I wind up a whirlwind week, these are all good reminders of the game I am playing. And checking myself on how I am playing it…

The brighter side

~ Rishi ~ 1 Comment

I believe strongly in this saying, “Whatever happens, it’s for the good“. Something I learnt through personal experiences.

And yet, when something untoward happens, my mind first races to the negative side…

Why did this happen with me? How did I let it happen? What did I do wrong? And many such questions.

This weekend, when I missed my return flight from a longish business trip, it wasn’t a happy feeling. I felt like an idiot.

While I sorted out the mess and got myself booked again on another flight for the next day, my mind continued to swarm with negative thoughts. When I called up home to tell them of the mishap, it felt so bad I wanted to scream at myself.

But then, I calmed myself down. Sat down for a while and took some time to make peace with the fact that I could have done better.

In my sleep, I must have dreamt away those thoughts, for when I woke up, I felt neutral.

It took me longer to get back home but on the way I met a couple of good people, got some good me time at the right waking hours, and also got some work done.

Most importantly, I realized why the mishap had come to pass, and identified corrective actions, so that I do not let something similar happen again.

Maybe there are some other lessons or good that I don’t realize now or haven’t come true but will be revealed with time.

This has happened with me in the past too. I didn’t succeed in my business when I had put in so much effort. I didn’t get through a competitive exam when I wanted to pass badly. I had to give away my childhood dream due to an injury. But each time, I realized that mishap had made me stronger. And the future had in store for me better things.

That’s why some ask us to ‘be positive!’ Or you may call it ‘looking at the brighter side’…

States of Mind.

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

Over the last couple of months, I have gone through a gamut of emotions.

At times, I have been elated. Maybe it was a new experience, or it was the feeling of having done something good at work or home. Or sometimes, just the invincible feeling of being in a good place!

And then, just the next day or immediately afterwards, I have felt gloomy and uncertain. Either because of something that occurred, or a worry about how things will turn out for us, or just anxiety about random life-related questions.

A few times, I have even felt frustrated and angry. About how things are turning out or not, or because of certain discussions at work or at home.

As I took some time this weekend to reflect on what’s happening around me, it took me a while to register that my state of mind has been quite haywire over these last couple of months.

I have been troubled, relieved, and happy. All within a short span. I cannot put a finger on why somethings happened the way they did, or why I reacted the way I did.

But as I dug deeper, I realised that I had taken a lot of pressure on myself owing to our move back. I was determined to get things done the right way and didn’t want to leave any stone unturned. In the process, the stress showed on me in these unpredictable manners.

Now that the move is done, and we are settling down, it is of course easier for me to relax a bit. But having lived in a heightened state of existence for a while, it’s not been as easy to switch off.

While I take my time to get back to normalcy, I realise that I shouldn’t have taken things so hard on myself. Maybe, the next time something so life altering is happening, I ought to take it easy. Or perhaps, adopt the same rigorous approach but with the allowance of slip ups.

After all, it’s important to not lose my state of mind in trying to get things done the right way always…

“The Eye of the Beholder”

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This ain’t no Rocky Balboa inspired post. It is but for sure one inspired by recent travels…

The last week, as we roamed around a couple of national parks in the US Midwest, one point repeatedly came across. What do I, or anyone, perceive what they see or experience?

The answer I landed up with repeatedly was that the beauty of the sight or the richness of the experience lay in the eyes of the beholder.

A couple of instances crossed my mind as those words came through my mouth the second time.

The first was a flashback to when I used to travel a lot in trains. I was fascinated by the countryside and would often stand near the gate or stare out the window, soaking in the beauty. Most people didn’t find it as interesting. But I did.

The second, was when I had to close my startup and get back to working in a regular job. For most, it might seem like a massive failure. Yet, what I experienced and how that built my character is so rich, I cannot even explain in words.

As I thought about and uttered the phrase, it occurred to me that my perception will of course be different than anyone else. And it should be. For that is how we maintain our individuality and our self.

Even then, we don’t value other perceptions enough. We label our understanding better than someone else’s. We call out those who deviate from the norms that we believe in, discounting their originality.

When we fall in this trap, which is almost every time, we land up in a tight spot. One where we no longer absorb new things and where we antagonise others.

Perhaps, sometimes it is warranted. But is it every time?

The Connection We Have

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AI is the flavour of the season and in Silicon Valley there is a palpable feeling of you being in the wave (riding or not is another matter)!

This weekend I was reading up on what some researchers at Anthropic (one of those heavyweight startups) are up to. They are basically trying to understand neural networks and how they deduce the outcomes that we get.

Then, I read another piece about how there are companies working to figure out different AI agents/models around making humans, sitting in back offices and chatting with you and me to help resolve our queries, redundant.

After reading these articles, I was imagining how these developments will affect the world of writing.

There’s already a lot of debate on how AI generated content is becoming quite common and how it is different from human generated content and which is better.

Naturally, as someone who aspires to write more, it does feel I am choosing the road which will be increasingly less travelled. And yet, not ready to give up the romanticism of my new aspiration, I have tried to keep on writing, working on my craft.

The more I reflected on the articles and what’s about to come, one thing became clearer in my head. In this age of AI, the connection I build with my reader is going to be the key to my satisfaction as a writer.

If I, as a writer, am able to connect at a deeper, emotional level with the reader, I will have done my part well. At least a few of those reading will find my work authentic and connect with it.

And if I am able to keep connecting repeatedly, I should be able to do justice to the time someone invests in reading my stuff.

It’s a precariously tight rope to walk on. If I swing too much, I may trump myself. If I don’t, I risk being stationary and eventually falling down.

The only way is to keep an eye on my goal, take deep breaths and write with my heart…

By the way, just realized while writing this is applicable not just for writing but for pretty much anything we want to excel in in our life!

Being authentic is the way forward then.

The Hard Way…

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Sometimes you have things at the back of your mind. And then you read about it somewhere, which brings clarity.

Last couple of weeks, I came across a couple of interviews / opinions. One was of NVidia’s founder and CEO, who’s suddenly become media’s darling with the acute focus on all things AI. Another was an opinion published by Robert Glazer, an investor cum author whose newsletters I like to read.

In his speech at Stanford University, Jansen Huang talks about how he wishes that the graduating students fail more in life and thus learn how to succeed. For as per him, failure is a great virtue and teacher.

Robert in one of his newsletters talked about how with high-touch parenting, we are shielding our children too much. And how that’s not helping them prepare for the real world.

As I watched the speech and then read the old newsletter, I reconnected the two with my own observations about personal and social ways of how I am bringing up our daughter and how I act within groups…

I am protective of our daughter and often worry about where she is, what is she doing, how did she do, and so on. My worry is not chronic and flares up sometimes but more often than not is excessive, if I am being honest. I could do with a little less of it.

It isn’t that something has happened which has compelled me to worry more. She has had a largely incident-free childhood and we have been blessed that she is quite considerate and sensible about most things. Yet, I somehow feel that I am not being a good father if I don’t know enough about these things.

If I contrast it with my childhood, my parents used to make sure they knew about my whereabouts but they let me be. I used to roam around a lot more freely, with a lot more abandon, and faced the forces of nature more than my daughter does today.

Thankfully, nothing bad happened with me. But being on my own at times taught me things that I could carry with me as lessons and apply them when caught in a similar situation later on.

Am not so sure therefore, if I am letting my daughter experience a similar learning curve. Maybe, times have changed. But even if so, my being overprotective won’t help her. It will shield her from experiences which will help her grow up.

So, lesson one – I will let her be and allow her to fall, learn, and grow up.

In the same vein, I realised that I need to sometimes let others around me express themselves more and in the process go through their own journey. I tend to help more than I should at times, striving to save time or to offer my experiences. But in doing that, I am robbing them of experiencing and learning for themselves.

So, lesson two – I will only help where I must and where it is warranted, in most cases I will let the other person discover and gain an experience of their own.

I guess enough lessons for a weekend! And for me to apply…

“The one thing I promise”

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There are things we do for ourselves. And then there are things we do for others.

All because we want to.

But then there are things we do because someone tells us to. Because we promised them.

But do we really want to do it? And does that promise really hold any meaning?

This weekend, as I celebrated my bday, my daughter made a big card for me. She wrote a lot of nice things and then left the note with a question.

“What is the one thing you wish I do, Papa”?

I read the entire note, hugged her. And then got busy with the cake!

She asked me nicely, “Can you please write something below my note, to mention what is the one thing you want me to promise”?

I wrote about how I want her to promise that she will always keep smiling and she happily accepted.

As I was reflecting back on that entire exchange, it didn’t seem like the right thing to me.

Not because I don’t believe in her sincerity but because the only way she can learn to keep promises is when it comes from within her.

This is something I have realised over time. The only promises I keep or strive for are the ones I am making myself, with my own heart. If not, they are half-hearted, and have a higher chance of not being fulfilled.

In fact, a lot of times, we promise things to people when they ask for. We assure them about how we will do that one thing because they asked us for it.

And then we forget. Or neglect. Or contest.

Why make the promise in the first place then!

But we still do because we feel if we don’t promise, the other person will feel bad. Or offended that they are asking or requesting us and we are saying a no.

What if we instead remained truthful to ourselves and by extension to others?

How many feet?

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

It was the early 90’s. I was just about to turn 10, when I was first asked about what I want to become.

I remember having seen a plane flying in the sky and getting enthralled. I instantly replied, a fighter pilot.

Why I added the word fighter I don’t know. But it meant more to me than just being a ‘pilot’…

As the next few years passed by, this dream of mine took shape. I became more serious about entering the armed forces. Eventually, I cleared the National Defence Academy exams to become an officer.

However, fate had something else in store for me, as I was diagnosed with partial colour blindness and hence couldn’t join the Air Force.

While I settled down to join the Army, and then came out, the longing of not getting the opportunity to fly planes has remained.

Even after all these years, whenever I see fighter jets zooming around, even in movies, they leave me with a feeling of having missed out. Maybe, I would have had a different view of the world if I had flown one of those.

That same feeling got triggered watching the fleet at the Republic Day fly-past on Friday. As my wife commented to my daughter, that’s my favourite part of the yearly parade. Because it allows me this visceral pleasure!

Turn to today, I am on this flight for a business trip. On my way, scanning the landscape, I saw this amazing frozen lake in the Rocky Mountains and the feeling returned.

But as I continued to mesmerise over the view from the top, something hit me. I would have equally enjoyed the view from the bottom.

Because while the view from air awed me with the vastness of it all, the view from the base on land would have also awed me with the vastness of it all.

The perspective would have been different for sure, but there is no point in comparing the two. For they were both perspectives of the same place. And whether from 20,000 feet or 2000, they both have their own positives.

So, while I may have missed out on flying planes and getting to enjoy the ground below, I have got chances to enjoy the landscape from the base.

And while it surely would have been a great thing to fly jets, the things I have gotten to do have also been great.

Does this mean the feeling or longing go away from my heart? No, I don’t think so.

But yes, it does help me with an understanding that life is to enjoy as it is, rather than how it could be…

Who Moved My …

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Life is uncertain. This is one of the first truisms I learnt. I guess, all of us realise this at some point in time. And then live with it unconsciously.

Until, when life throws a curveball at us…

The most common fallacy we live with till then is that this won’t happen with us. Until it does.

And then we get surprised, knocked out, and end up dejected. Some times, we see this coming. Often times, it is completely tangential.

While watching a couple of movies this weekend revolving around this theme, I relived my own days of despair and came through with these thoughts.

As it so happened, whilst in the Army, I was hospitalised for a long time on account of a cervical spine injury. As days became weeks and months, I was advised to multiple doctors and finally it was decided that I will be medically boarded out.

It took me a while to first accept the fact that this would be the end of my dream. The world I had been building up to in my life. And it took me down a rabbit hole of despair and solitude.

As I was fighting these feelings, I was gifted the book “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson. It is an interesting parable and talks about how life throws a spanner in the works sometimes and how to recover and keep moving.

That book helped me get a new perspective. It made me look at the brighter side of life, where I could go out and get another shot at doing something else rather than being stuck in a frustrating situation with a physical category in the army.

Slowly, I came out of that despair and hopeless situation that I had found myself in and started looking at things with a brighter perspective again.

Time moved on and I got other opportunities to prove myself, gain new experiences, and grow. I of course made more mistakes and lost some keys to some rooms, but I am in a decent place in life.

As I recalled these details this weekend, I was reminded of how most of us are so stuck in the worlds we are building for ourselves, in our own small way, that we often are blindsided by these curveballs.

Believe you me, they are somewhere on their way. Only if we could keep our eyes and minds open to these possibilities of mishaps. But even then, we could completely be caught off guard.

I guess the only way we can keep up and prepare for such scenarios is by knowing deep within that nothing is permanent and tides change.

As long as we can get up and get moving after that shock, we will be fine. And all will be ok!

Investments

~ Rishi ~ Leave a comment

We all choose what we invest in. It could be the markets, could be relationships, could be our health. But all of these are related to us directly.

There’s another type of investment that we make – with a team or an individual. It could be in the field of sports, in our workplaces, or in business partnerships. Today, I am talking about these kinds of investments…

The past 6-7 weeks, I chose to invest my energy, time, and emotions with the journey of the Indian national cricket team. It was the cricket World Cup and with India playing at home, and playing well leading up to the tournament, I pledged myself to the team’s success.

It was a fairy tale script. The team won all its league matches comfortably and looked like invincible. It increased my confidence significantly and I continued to invest more into their journey.

But as is sometimes the case, last night left a sad note in our books. The men faltered at the last stop and my faith that they will bring home the cup, and repay my investment, was shattered.

As I switched off the television and went to get some sleep, something agitated me. After all these weeks of waking up at odd hours to watch matches and follow all game analysis, I was expecting more.

But as I thought about it, laying down and unable to sleep, I realized that it wasn’t justified for me to react like this. For, I did enjoy the journey and it was a fabulous one. The team played like a champion and a single loss won’t negate that fact.

As I made peace with the fact, it also occurred to me that a lot of times we judge our investment of time / effort / money in a fleeting manner. We decide how the investment is faring by looking at the last few moments / days. Not thinking about the journey we have traversed with that investment.

Be it in matters of personal investments or financial, we become short-sighted and seek early results. But what if the fruit of the labour is in continuing to invest and learn and grow?

After all, we don’t ask that question of ourselves when we invest in our child’s education. Or in matters of health once we realise prevention is better than cure!